Fan Fiction and Writing Have a story you want to share? Or in the mood to sit back and read one, instead? Then come hang out here!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old October 23rd, 2013 (4:53 AM).
PichuGirlx's Avatar
PichuGirlx PichuGirlx is offline
     
    Join Date: Oct 2013
    Gender: Female
    Posts: 2
    The 'Life'


    In a dark and cold universe,
    There was one light.
    It was small, but nevertheless, it was a light.
    In the dark realm, a light was rare and special.
    That's what made this light special; unique.


    Then, something became formed out of that light.
    The light started glowing brighter and brighter.
    It was growing at an alarming rate.
    This light started to consume the darkness--just as the darkness had almost consumed it.


    A blast.
    It was a great, loud sound. But no one was there to hear it.
    Then, a crying was heard.
    It started soft, then it became louder and louder.
    Life.
    That is what a voice above called it.
    "Life," He whispered.
    This 'life' opened it big, ancient eyes and began to do something not even the voice above could.
    It created other 'lives'.


    These 'lives' were many shapes and sizes. They varied in color and nature. There were big 'lives' that were green and leafy. There were small 'lives' that were blue and frolicked in the water. The original 'life' became happy when he saw the other 'lives' sing, dance, play and love. The original 'life' decided to make something called a 'name'. This 'name' held so much power. It held so much power because this 'name' would be with you ever since your mother 'life' would bring you to this world. It would hold so many secrets that only you know.



    When the original 'life' finally gave 'names' to every 'life', he began to ponder. "What is my 'name'?" 'Life' thought aloud as he hovered above the clouds of this 'world'. "Your name," The voice said from above. "Is Arceus." 'Arceus' looked up to the sky and smiled. "Arceus," He repeated. "My name is Arceus."
    Reply With Quote

    Relevant Advertising!

      #2    
    Old October 23rd, 2013 (3:22 PM).
    Crystalanachrony's Avatar
    Crystalanachrony Crystalanachrony is offline
    ℱ a e r i e . ℚ u e e n
       
      Join Date: Jul 2013
      Location: New Jersey, USA
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Hardy
      Posts: 59
      I quite enjoyed the first three stanzas of this (if it can be called a poem), they all had a very nice sound to them. Nearer to the end, however, where the thing became more story-shaped, that gracefulness kind of started to fall apart. There is one thing that bothers me: you really went to town on the apostrophes. There's no need to have that many of them -- it ruins the flow of the story. You only needed to put the apostrophe in the first use of a new word.
      __________________



      thank you for waiting!
      we've restored your pokémon to full health.

      dark monotypeart credit
      Reply With Quote
      Reply
      Quick Reply

      Sponsored Links
      Thread Tools

      Posting Rules
      You may not post new threads
      You may not post replies
      You may not post attachments
      You may not edit your posts

      BB code is On
      Smilies are On
      [IMG] code is On
      HTML code is Off
      Minimum Characters Per Post: 25

      Forum Jump


      All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:24 AM.