Talon
[font=Cambria]Hidden From Mind[/font]
- 1,080
- Posts
- 10
- Years
- Age 25
- Somewhere that is nowhere
- Seen May 25, 2017
╘══════╕
┼Nocturnal
╒══════╛
One may say that I am not truly human. I may have all the physical features of human and human DNA, but I am not human. I see through people. Not like X-Ray vision, but I see what the truly are. I can sense their pain and sufferings. I can see the bad things they've done and the good. It isn't just a mental epiphany. I visually see it. I see it within them. They have turned to calling me "Cirice", which is an old-english term for Church. They say it's because I'm "possessed". They believe I need mental help. They believe that there is something within me that is turning me against the nature of man. Think of this situation as if I am Lucy and they are Van Helsing. They don't truly understand what is happening, but I do. It's painful. It hurts. I see so many bad things. It feels like I'm living in a world that is trying it's damnedest to remove me. I feel like a doll. I feel like I am here just for the world to manipulate me. I feel like a play thing. What they don't understand is that I am smarter than they think. They think I won't understand what they are doing, but I do.
The thing about psychology is that there are always exceptions. Something can happen and something falls completely out of order. There may be traces to other conditions, but no condition is the same. Everyone has a different depression, everyone has a different anxiety, all emotions and states are unique to each person. This makes it extremely difficult to track down what exactly is wrong with a person. It also can make it hard to administer drugs that will actually benefit you. It has been said that the psyche can break, and although the process of thought may be extreme complicated and very difficult to near impossible to replicate, it will break in a very predictable manner. The actual break may be similar, but the effects on the mind and soul of the inflicted are extremely unpredictable. It makes my case difficult to understand because it didn't break predictably. It broke in a way that has never been seen before.
I was normal when I was born. My dad died when I was 5 and my mother died when I was 8. My mother's parents both took custody of me and then died in a drive-by style shooting. I was moved to my father's parents with whom I lived with until I was 12. On my 12th birthday my grandfather had a heart attack and was pronounced dead later that morning. My grandmother, grief stricken, committed suicide by overdosing on her Demerol prescription. She ate a whole bottle of pills, passed out, and never woke up. At that point I was put into a foster home. Complications arose within the couple that now held my custody and they split. DCS had trouble deciding which to send me with so they decided to send off to another family instead. Within 14 years of living, I had had 4 sets of guardians go, 3 of which died shortly after each other, and the other split up. Currently with my 4th family I have noticed my foster-dad disappearing for days on end with no sign as to where he was going. One night he came home and threw me out of the house. I was only 15 and had been through 4 families and was prepared to adapt to a 5th. Too bad that 5th never came. DCS never came looking for me.
I was living out on the streets, begging for money. Every now and then someone would give me money, but they made fun of me more often than not. I got a job working at a circus. My ability to see what problems people had had developed enough that I could almost control it. The circus asked me to tell people what the worst thing they've ever done is. Some people didn't believe it and thought that it was purely a guess, but some people were scared. Eventually someone called the cops on me and when I began to taunt them they took me into custody. I was put in juvenile detention for taunting a policeman.
I was there for far longer than I should have been. I went crazy in that place. My power became more than I could handle. I couldn't control it. I was visibly distressed. I moaned and cried a lot. I wouldn't accept any help. I became very angry and upset. I learned how to deal with it, but never control it again. I've been there ever since.
So here we are. You and me. I can see the things that you've done. Can you feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart? I can see through the scars inside you. You're a misshapen soul. You're not what you think you are. You have a past that you wish to hide. I don't blame you, I would after I had done that too. My soul is battered and tired of this pain. Please promise you that you will show people who I am. I am not evil. I do not hate people. I am just a tortured young man. No one will understand what I see because no one else can see it. I can't go to a doctor and get medicine to fix this. It's permanent and it's getting worse every single day. My mind can't take it much longer.
Wait... sh... listen...
Can you feel it?
Can you feel the rumble?
Can you hear the thunder?
I can see through the scars inside you.
I can hear the stars and feel the moon.
Father forgive me for I am not of this world.
I can feel your presence amongst us. You can not hide in the darkness.
Can't you see that you're lost without me?
I can feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart.
I can see through the scars inside you.
I know your soul is not wretched.
I know you are not who you think you are.
Don't you remember?
Don't you remember what you did?
Don't you see who I am?
I can see through you.
You can not hide from me.
I can see in the dark and breathe without air.
My sacrilegious heart beats for the pain in your unholy brain.
I am not evil.
I am not the Devil.
I see through your pain.
I know what you've done.
I know who you are.
You can not hide from me.
I am Nocturnal.
┼Nocturnal
╒══════╛
One may say that I am not truly human. I may have all the physical features of human and human DNA, but I am not human. I see through people. Not like X-Ray vision, but I see what the truly are. I can sense their pain and sufferings. I can see the bad things they've done and the good. It isn't just a mental epiphany. I visually see it. I see it within them. They have turned to calling me "Cirice", which is an old-english term for Church. They say it's because I'm "possessed". They believe I need mental help. They believe that there is something within me that is turning me against the nature of man. Think of this situation as if I am Lucy and they are Van Helsing. They don't truly understand what is happening, but I do. It's painful. It hurts. I see so many bad things. It feels like I'm living in a world that is trying it's damnedest to remove me. I feel like a doll. I feel like I am here just for the world to manipulate me. I feel like a play thing. What they don't understand is that I am smarter than they think. They think I won't understand what they are doing, but I do.
The thing about psychology is that there are always exceptions. Something can happen and something falls completely out of order. There may be traces to other conditions, but no condition is the same. Everyone has a different depression, everyone has a different anxiety, all emotions and states are unique to each person. This makes it extremely difficult to track down what exactly is wrong with a person. It also can make it hard to administer drugs that will actually benefit you. It has been said that the psyche can break, and although the process of thought may be extreme complicated and very difficult to near impossible to replicate, it will break in a very predictable manner. The actual break may be similar, but the effects on the mind and soul of the inflicted are extremely unpredictable. It makes my case difficult to understand because it didn't break predictably. It broke in a way that has never been seen before.
I was normal when I was born. My dad died when I was 5 and my mother died when I was 8. My mother's parents both took custody of me and then died in a drive-by style shooting. I was moved to my father's parents with whom I lived with until I was 12. On my 12th birthday my grandfather had a heart attack and was pronounced dead later that morning. My grandmother, grief stricken, committed suicide by overdosing on her Demerol prescription. She ate a whole bottle of pills, passed out, and never woke up. At that point I was put into a foster home. Complications arose within the couple that now held my custody and they split. DCS had trouble deciding which to send me with so they decided to send off to another family instead. Within 14 years of living, I had had 4 sets of guardians go, 3 of which died shortly after each other, and the other split up. Currently with my 4th family I have noticed my foster-dad disappearing for days on end with no sign as to where he was going. One night he came home and threw me out of the house. I was only 15 and had been through 4 families and was prepared to adapt to a 5th. Too bad that 5th never came. DCS never came looking for me.
I was living out on the streets, begging for money. Every now and then someone would give me money, but they made fun of me more often than not. I got a job working at a circus. My ability to see what problems people had had developed enough that I could almost control it. The circus asked me to tell people what the worst thing they've ever done is. Some people didn't believe it and thought that it was purely a guess, but some people were scared. Eventually someone called the cops on me and when I began to taunt them they took me into custody. I was put in juvenile detention for taunting a policeman.
I was there for far longer than I should have been. I went crazy in that place. My power became more than I could handle. I couldn't control it. I was visibly distressed. I moaned and cried a lot. I wouldn't accept any help. I became very angry and upset. I learned how to deal with it, but never control it again. I've been there ever since.
So here we are. You and me. I can see the things that you've done. Can you feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart? I can see through the scars inside you. You're a misshapen soul. You're not what you think you are. You have a past that you wish to hide. I don't blame you, I would after I had done that too. My soul is battered and tired of this pain. Please promise you that you will show people who I am. I am not evil. I do not hate people. I am just a tortured young man. No one will understand what I see because no one else can see it. I can't go to a doctor and get medicine to fix this. It's permanent and it's getting worse every single day. My mind can't take it much longer.
Wait... sh... listen...
Can you feel it?
Can you feel the rumble?
Can you hear the thunder?
I can see through the scars inside you.
I can hear the stars and feel the moon.
Father forgive me for I am not of this world.
I can feel your presence amongst us. You can not hide in the darkness.
Can't you see that you're lost without me?
I can feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart.
I can see through the scars inside you.
I know your soul is not wretched.
I know you are not who you think you are.
Don't you remember?
Don't you remember what you did?
Don't you see who I am?
I can see through you.
You can not hide from me.
I can see in the dark and breathe without air.
My sacrilegious heart beats for the pain in your unholy brain.
I am not evil.
I am not the Devil.
I see through your pain.
I know what you've done.
I know who you are.
You can not hide from me.
I am Nocturnal.