[Poetry] Chimera Lore Poems

This is a thread of a collection of lore poems for my genshin impact ocs that aren't Siorc. I probably will be posting a few more in here as I have some plans. Although, this is not beta read.

The first poem is about Kouneko and Nousagi.

Please make sure to look at every first letter of each line as this is acrostic poetry! Okay, here's the first one.

---

"I remember the day I got my vision like it was yesterday.

Going out that day, my parents told me, 'keep watch over Nousagi.'
Oh, how I should have listened.
That day, we were thirteen, I scoffed at listening to my elders.

Maybe my brother would be fine by themself was my immediate thought.
You know, that was my first mistake. A mistake I regret.

Very much so, I should not have left
I should not have gone outside without them. I
Should have listened, I should not have stepped away.
It was a hot summer day
On the nation of Inazuma.
Nousagi did not hear me go out, they were too busy studying.

The trees that day, they were lovely,
Here in Ritou, the maple trees are always blooming
Always in full color, and fleeting. But
That amount of time I stepped away, it was a mistake.

Don't know if anyone around Ritou knows this but
All of us in the Hougo family, we are rabbit chimeras.
Yes, we have the DNA of rabbits flowing inside us.

But in Inazuma, yokai are everywhere
Ultimately, telling us apart from yokai is impossible.
Telling us apart from other people with animal ears is impossible. Still,

Do not know what I was thinking that day,
Obviously, I should have listened to my parents.

I continued walking, without a care.

'Even so, they'll be fine without me." Not a care in the world
Very grave mistake.
Every day, I see this teal orb next to me, I am full of regret.
No matter how I feel now, I cannot let go of that past.

Dancing around happily, I was a cheerful rabbit.
Even as the minutes pass, I do not think about my parents words,
Soon, I am at the port, without a care
Everyone greets me, 'Kouneko-chan, you have no studies today?'
Right, no studies, I was free. I was away.
Very big mistake.
Everyone had begun to ask me, 'Where is Nousagi?'

I told them they were studying.
They told me not to leave them alone.

That comment sunk my heart, my zero amount of cares turned into one.
Heading home, something horrifying soon awaited me.
It was my fault what I was about to witness.
Should have listened to my parents.

As I headed home, the sight greeted me.
Nousagi had been up on the top of the roof,
Even now, this memory will not leave me. This
Memory, my mistake, I will never forgive myself.
On this day, they were all the way up there, looking off into the distance.

On this day, I realized my parents were right. They were
Right, Nousagi should never be left alone for too long.
But I did not listen, so this is my fault.

The sight of my brother on the roof, all I could feel was
Hysteria; panic.
Each and every second, I know this was my mistake.
Reaching for my face, I prepare to scream.
Even as I look at them up there, my regret consumes me.

It is dangerous up on that roof, I need to say something.
Shout, scream, holler, something. I cup my hands, I need to speak.

'Nousagi, get down from there!'
Oh, what they said to me.

What they said to me, it broke me.
Ah, their response, it will never not throw a
Yellow cherry pit in my stomach.

It hurt me, their words.

All of this is my fault. Nousagi's response, it still haunts me.
'Mommy told me to come up here, I heard her voice!' Nousagi, what were they saying?

What did they mean they heard our mother's voice?
Our mother and father, they had stepped away to do some business,
Really, they had a job to do.
The job with one of the tri commissions.
Her words I should have listened.
Yes, I should have listened.

How am I going to get them down from there?
Even as I think about it, I freeze, the
Roof is rather high up. But, I need to think.

Evidentially, maybe I could jump, but I lack sugar, lack
Xylitol. Lacking energy.
Cupping my hands around my face, I
Echo another scream, 'Mom isn't here! Get down from there, Nousagi!"
Looks like this won't be easy.
Looking at me from the roof, Nousagi,
Echoed a scream back, 'but I heard her! She told me to come up here!'
Now I get it, Nousagi had been hearing things, this regret, this feeling.
Coarsely sits inside me forever, holding me
Yielding me from ever leaving.
So many years may have passed since then, but I will never forgive this mistake I made.

But even so, I needed to get them down
Looks like they needed more convincing
Even as I continued shouting, my heart would continue to beat
Shouting, 'Mom would never tell you to climb up on the roof!' but it was not enough
Shouting, 'So, please, get down from there, Nousagi!' was also not enough.
I saw the look in their eyes. Were they stuck?
No, this can't be happening, this is all my fault.
Guess I have to try harder to go get them
So, I step closer to the roof, maybe there is a ladder somewhere,

But there is none, I feel even more regret
Unless one fell somewhere, I
Tell Nousagi I will find a ladder, but

It seems the ladder had been taken away
For the moment, the guilt cherry, it grows deeper.

I need to get them down from there,
There is no time. Maybe I can leap and grab them.

However, my energy is still not very high
Ah, this is all my fault
Dad, I should have listened.

Now, as I returned to find no ladder another horrifying scene awaited me
Oh, mom, dad I should have listened to you
The sight before me, my heart sank.

At the edge of the roof was Nousagi, slipping.
Panicking, I ran to the edge of the roof,
Panicking I held out my arms, screaming, 'Nousagi!'
Each and every second, I kept thinking, I need to catch them
A gust of wind, something.
Raiden Shogun please, give me strength!
Even if the gods don't hear me, please.
Don't let my brother die!

Those thoughts, I could suddenly feel energy inside me.
Her Excellency, could she hear me?
Anemo orb suddenly below me,
There was a gust of wind

Doing a bounce, I grab them.
Anemo was the only reason I could save them
Yet I still can never feel happy, knowing the circumstance.

Nousagi in my hands, we descend
Orb continuing to provide wind, it is a safe land.
Ultimately, this day, it sticks with me forever
Sticks forever within my memory.
Ah, I should have listened.
Guess this blessing of the gods will always remind me, about my mistake
It will always be beside me, reminding me I left them alone.

When I guided them inside, they noticed it. The
Orb. The Vision.
Uttering, "Kouneko nee-chan, look, you have a Vision now!"
Looking down, I feel shame. No. I
Don't deserve this blessing.

How could I have deserved the Archon's gift? What are
Ambitions? What were my goals,
Very young at the time, I had none.
Every day all I did was study. But if that orb had not appeared.

Death would have taken Nousagi.
I know this, the roof is a far drop.
Even now, fourteen years later, I cannot let this go.
Don't think this vision is ever something I will be happy about.

My parents when they come home that day, they saw my vision,
Yet I told them the truth of what happened.

Ah, they let me have it. Well,
Mom, I deserve it.
Be that as it may, I came to a decision.
I came to a realization
That day, I knew my ambitions.
If I keep can keep Nousagi from being alone, this
Orb might not be a complete waste.
Now we go back to studying, but I
Say to my mother,

'Mom, we should study together, not alone.'
Every day, I still think about it. The day I did not listen
Ready to study together,
Everything is changing.
Looking back as the years go on, though, I can still not forgive myself.
Yes, even after Nousagi got their Geo Vision two years later,

Look, even Nousagi says I should no longer feel guilty.
I know that, but mistakes live with me forever.
Even so, the years went on, and I made a decision.

In order to make up for my mistake, I decided
No matter what, as we got older, I would not let them be alone.

Making a decision, I work with the tri-commission at night, my
Ambitions may not be worthy of this vision, but I,
Kouneko, do not need that same ambition.
I do not need that will,
Nousagi is my top priority.
Getting older, though, our paths begin to form.

Studying for many years, my brother sought to spread knowledge,
Ultimately, I am happy for them. But,
Ritou did not have any school. Nowhere to spread knowledge.
Every day, I think I want to do something.

The years pass by, their ambitions keep growing.
Here in Ritou, I still work for the tri-commission
Each day, I would ponder, could I do something?
Your Excellency, I know you are rigid.

As everyone knows, Inazuma represents eternity.
Ritou, a new schoolhouse, that were challenge it, her eternity.
Even so, I must keep pushing.

Nousagi wishing for change as well,
Everyone keeps pushing.
Vehemently, we keep shoving.
Even if this not enough to make up for that mistake I made
Really, I will do anything for Nousagi.

At some point, an architect had come by.
Looking to try to change, we ask them for assistance
On this day, help came our way.
Not sure what the Archon will think of disturbing
Eternity, but soon the

School will finally be a reality.
On this day, I decided to help.

I could see how happy my brother was.

Don't know if this will ever make up for my past mistake,
Or if I can forgive myself, but.

Nousagi looks rather happy,
Orb of wind glowing, maybe I can finally forgive myself.
Tell myself that I can let go of my past mistake.

Ritou's schoolhouse will soon be open,
Everyone scours to find qualifying teachers,
Ah, I know Nousagi will make it, this is their dream.
Looks like maybe, next year will be the first school year.
Looks like the doors will open in April.
Yet I still hold some fear. But,

For now, I know what I must do.
I will pick them up every evening after their teachings are finished.
Guess that works, they won't be alone.
Here, on this day, their first day of being a sensei is upon them. And,
Today is the day, maybe I can forgive myself, just a little."

Okay, here is the second lore poem.

Before reading this one, heads up there's topics of death in this one. Also, one of the characters is addressed with ze/hir/hirs pronouns. That is intentional.

---

"Olann died that day.
He was our older brother, our role model.

It was a very cold day,
That cold day, in Fontaine.

When it happened, our lives changed that day.
A lot stopped, permanent changes were made.
So allow me to tell the tale of my brother's demise.

Ah, I believe I was about fifteen the day it happened.

The day he died, he was but a ripe twenty. A
Ripe young adult, with a job; he was happy.
All that changed in the span of a day. You see,
Getting too cold for us is a death sentence.
Inside us is lizard blood,
Cold blood that adjusts to temperature. But it

Does not handle well to the cold.
And in that case, we cannot move.
Yielding this from happening, we wear layers upon layers of clothes.

Frustratingly, on that day, Olann, did not listen, I remember the conversation.
'Olann, you can't go out like that! You need another jacket!' but he did not listen.
'Really, mum, it'll be fine! It's not that cold!' he should have listened.

My mother kept protesting, 'Dear, your blood won't be able to handle it!'
Yet, he didn't listen.

From what I remember, he had a big project that day.
And he was rushing out the door.
My brother worked for a man who made toys,
In Fontaine, experimenting with machinery is commonplace.
Looks like a large toy was hitting the markets that day.
Yes, that is why he ran out the door, there was a deadline on the way.

Moving towards the door, we watched him go away.
You know, Olann you should have just listened that day.

But I digress, it was not his fault.
Right, at the time, it was above seven degrees celsius.
Or so we believe.
That day, maybe it was far colder than we remembered.
Harsh winters are scary.
Every minute he was away, our mother would only continue to worry.
Running in circles, anxiety was high.

Hours passed, snow was falling.
Every minute, she bit her nails

Dusk upon us, all began to freeze.
In front of the fireplace we went,
Every minute she kept on fretting
Don't blame her, the temperature kept dropping.

Then it happened, his demise.
Hearing a scream,
All our pockets are filled with emergency heat supplies
Taking as many precautions as possible, we bolt to the door.

Don't think I'll ever forget this terrible day.
As we head outside, Olann is on the cold hard ground
Yelling, we all sprint to the scene.

As we run, we try to warm him up
Sadly, it is too late, he has gotten too cold.

Looking at us, he looks as though he is ready to say goodbye,
It was terrifying hearing his voice so weak, his
Zestiness, gone.
All his energy, nowhere to be seen.
Roaring a cry, we ask him to try and get up.
Doesn't seem possible; he cannot.

Crying, my younger brother, Velours, ze says,
'Hey, big bro, please!'
It was futile, he was unable to.
Melting in a puddle of tears, ze keeps crying,
Each and every minute, ze kept begging,
Rapidly. 'We'll bring you inside, don't give up, please!'
Ah, his next words, they were chilling.
'Sorry, kiddo, it's too late...'

Gathering around, he tells us he wants to say goodbye.
Even though it's getting colder, we stay.
The heat sources have an hour left, we will stay.
The look on my young brother's face,
I will not forget it, to this day.
Now, we listen, to his farewells, his
Goodbyes.

Every word he is saying, they're getting weaker.
'Velours, I'll always be watching over you.'
Erupting in tears, ze shouted awry.
'No, don't give up, please! Big bro!'

And his words kept getting weaker, his breathing was lessening.

The conversation continued, through the pain.
'I'm sorry, kiddo.'
'No, please, we'll bring you to the fireplace! Mommy!'
Yelling, Fontaine citizens glare our way.

But we do not care, a crisis is in hand.
It's then, Olann says,
'That won't help me, kiddo, I've been cold for too long.'

Tears stream down faster, in the heat of the moment, my brother shouted
'Olann, you were always my hero,'
Olann gave a weak smile.


Crying louder, the neighbors stare.
Oddly, they are rather judgmental today.
Looks like the Hyrdo Archon's justice will be but an hour away
Denial cruising a boat down the river, my brother prepares a goodbye for me.

I can feel the tears rolling.
'Soie, be a good girl for me.'

Ah, his breath is getting weaker.
Now, I guess it's my turn to scream.

'I'm always a good girl!'
Now, I feel at unease.
'Silly girl as always.'
The way he would tease me,
Always and forever, I miss it dearly
No longer do I get to hear him call me silly
Those days are gone now, forevermore.


Dropping to my knees, I begin to bawl.
Every neighbor begins to stare.
Ah, I wish they would just stop looking.
Their stares are quite invasive.
Hearing his voice get weaker, reality slips in.

'Mum, I should have listened.'
Yet, my mother was unable to say anything.

Barely able to breathe, he shuts his eyes.
Rudely, people are staring
Olann does not open his eyes.
The neighbors continue to stare, doing nothing.
How can they just standing there, watching?
Everyone around us just sticks their business in,
Racking up the tears, we lift the dead body inside.


Sometime later, our father arrives
Examining for a pulse, denial sets in
Examining for a pulse, reality sets in
My older brother is no more.
Sleep was impossible that night.

The day came to bury him,
Olann's grave was placed in his favorite place.

By that waterfall near Petrichor
Eternally, is where he will rest.

The burial complete, we return home,
Home to mourn.
Every day now, is a day without him.

My brother, though, he seems most affected.
Olann was hir hero.
So much to the point that ze would copy him
This is all too much for hir

I let ze know my door is open
No response,

Perhaps I overspoke, in our time of mourning.
As each day passes slowly, I feel more tired, lately.
Is my partial koala brain acting up?
No, no, I'm just sad, mourning.

Olann is gone, I feel so missing.
Velours has shut off, ze isn't speaking.
Even now, it hits me, without him, we lost our synergy.
Really, I feel so empty.

The days keep moving slowly.
Hearing a lot of odd discussions lately.
It sounds as though we may be moving,
Sounds as though we may be leaving,

As the days crawl, so do my suspicions,
Now I am hearing my father has quit his job,
Don't think there is any doubt anymore, we are moving.

The discussions, they are intensifying,
Hearing a strange word tossed around lately, Mare Jivari
Every night, I hear them talking
Now every night, I cannot sleep, because I am worrying.

Time has lapsed to a month since that day,
Hearing more intense discussions,
Each day, I can feel a grow in my suspicions.

And then the day arrived,
No more Fontaine, we were leaving.
No more Fontaine, we are moving.
On that lukewarm day,
Ultimately, they said my suspicions,
No surprises,
'Come on, we are leaving, for the Mare Jivari.'
Even though it comes at no surprise,
My questions begin flying.
Even though I knew,
Nothing is clicking
The question leaves my lips, 'Why?'

Cannot blame them for what they said next,
And I suppose this was coming,
Mom said she didn't want to lose us, too
Even now, thinking back, this is how it should be.

With no questions left, we start preparing.
Emotionally, we say goodbye to our home,

And goodbye to Fontaine,
Rowing a boat, justice has died,
Everything is being left behind.

Gorgeous waterfalls, goodbye,
Olann, goodbye
It seems we won't be able to visit your grave,
Now, we'll be too far away.
Goodbye to everything.

The trip is long,
Over the course of a few days.

The landscapes begin to change
Here in this desert, we walk,
Even though the sand is quite hot.

Maybe it will be better for our cold blood,
And our bodies,
Really, this is for the best,
Even though we must leave everything behind.

Jostling a blue door,
Inside the sea of ash we go.
Velours seems nervous, I hold hir hand
Ah, my heart is beating
Relatively fast
Is this truly where we will be forever?

Forever, and always?
Olann, if you're watching over us, give us strength
Right beneath us, is that lava?
Even so, it is always hot here,
Velours and I can we thrive?
Even now, I am scared,
Roasting lava, its heat
Mare Jivari, ashen sea.
Of all the places with heat,
Really, this is it.
Every day, in this domain.

We find places to sleep
Everywhere in here is warm,

So we pitch a tent on solid ground
And lie down
Yes, this is our life now.

Guess this new life won't be easy,
Ordinary people get stranded in here
Ordinary adventurers traverse in here,
Don't know why,
But I want to guide them to safety.
Yes, maybe this is meant to be.
Evidentially, this is my ambition,

This domain is too harsh for humans,
Olann, I hope your spirit is watching me.

Forlorn people guided out, an
Orb of fire appears by my waist.
Now, I wield Pyro, I suppose,
Though, it is a month too late.
Anemo seems to have blessed Velours as well,
It is odd, isn't this a domain?
No matter, a blessing is a blessing.
Even for a chimera, like me.

Forevermore, this is where we stay
Although, it's not
Really safe,
Every day, there is danger,
We must fight,
Every day, there is danger,
Lost people might die,
Lava might roast them alive.

Though, the climate is ideal
Olann, I wish you were here.

Each day, we fight,
Velours has learned to heal.
Each day, we guide,
Reckless travellers everywhere
Yet, helping comes to me easily,
This is my life forever now,
Here I am embracing my fate,
In this domain,
Now everything feels natural
Guess the world of fire is my reckoning.

***

Olann, why?
Looks like my hero is gone,
Ah, no, this can't be real.
No, please!
No, please! Open your eyes!

Why is this happening?
He can't be gone, no way.
You can't be gone, wake up, please!

Don't want to talk to anyone,
I'm going into my room to hide.
Don't want to talk to anyone,

You can't be gone,
Olann, it should have been me.
Ultimately, you being gone is wrong,

How can this be?
Ah, no, this is a dream,
Very soon, I will wake up,
End this scary dream, please!

This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real.
Olann, bro, please, wake up from this dream.

Don't want to hear from you, Soie,
I need space
Even so, please, wake me up from this dream!

Wait, I'm awake, and
He's not here
Yeah, no this is still a scary dream!

Can't be real,
Olann, wake me up, please!
Unholy gods, hear me!
Look at me in the lizard eyes!
Don't take my hero away from me!

It's scary without you!
This world is breaking without you

No, please! This is a dream!
Olann, wake me up, please!
This world is terrifying!

How many days has it been?
Ah, two. Life is
Very slow without you.
Every day, I just feel pain.

Burying you, my hero is gone.
Every moment, I live in this haze
Every moment, I live in a daze.
Nothing is real.

Maybe this could still be a dream
Every moment is in a haze.

It is hard to move on
Nothing will let me
So, I shut myself down
Tuck myself away
Etch myself into a corner,
And stay that way,
Do not talk to me.

This is reality.
He's gone now,
Even so, I can't accept this,

My bro, he was my hero
All this time, I looked up to him
Righteous, cool, epic.
Epitome of everything I wanted to be

Justice, be darned, you're not my bro.
I wanted to be just like him.
Vicariously.
And now he's gone, that's
Reality.
I can't accept this,

But this is reality,
Reality is scary,
Olann, it should have been me

It should have been me.
Fog now consumes my entire being

Yet, days are passing. But I'm still
Off
Unfeeling.

How many days have passed?
Ah, seven.
Days without you feel unreal.

Justice is a lie,
Ultimately, there is none
So I keep myself off
Turned away.

Soie seems worried,
Utmost apologies, sister, I am not here,
Reach the other way.
Vehemently, I push her away.
I'm falling apart
Vastly fading,
Endlessly crying
Don't look at me.

Well, now I am hearing something odd,
Ever so often, I turn back on

Why do I hear a discussion about moving?
Oh no, no, no.
Unless this is a dream
Looks like my parents are serious,
Don't look at me.

Next few days, I hear them again,
Oh no, no, no.
This can't be real. I'm dreaming.

But the discussions are intensifying
Every night, I hear my parents talking

How much longer until we leave?
Even so, I won't accept this.
Right, this could all still be a dream.
Every day is still foggy.

Time is moving forward without you.
How many days has it been?
I'm feeling some fog dissipate.
So, I listen to the world around me.

It's been three weeks without you, bro.
Something is happening.

Just got the notice that we are moving,
Ultimately leaving you behind
Soon, we will be in
The Mare Jivari.

A sea of ashes, a

Domain
Reality has sunk in.
Even so, I won't say goodbye.
And I won't let go.
Maybe this is still a dream.

Reality is biting me.
It is time to leave.
Goodbyes will not come from me!
Hopping on this boat,
The journey begins,

Yet, I don't want this reality,
Objection, objection, objection.
Ultimately, I am being forced to move on.

And that is unsightly.
Rage is hidden within me,
End this journey.

Just let this be a dream,
Ungodly archons, I beseech thee.
Stop this nightmare
Turn back time.

Ah, the boat stopped.
Sand is beneath me.
Looks like I have no choice
Even if I do not want to, I have to accept reality,
Even if I don't want to, I have to face reality.
Perhaps bro's soul could be watching.

Just up ahead is the domain
Ultimately, this is reality,
So, I have to face it. Have
To embrace it.

Stepping in, I see a sea of flames,
Looks like we are never leaving,
Even so, I have to accept reality,
Even so, I have to face reality.
Perhaps he is watching me.
I have to face reality
Now I live in this domain,
Gone away from society.

Perhaps it is better here for us lizards,
Looks like this is the right environment
Even if it might be dangerous,
Ah, I suppose I will be fine,
Suppose I have to accept reality.
Even if I do not want to, I

Cannot shut down for all eternity,
Olann, I will not say goodbye.
Maybe your soul is watching
Every day, I still miss you,

But I need to stop crying,
And need to try living
Challenges await me, but I
Know, just maybe, your spirit is watching."

Third lore poem, coming up. This one is about Garrán, and the Frámas.

Warning for some things I do not condone in real life. There is a killing in this one, topics of stealing, lying, and a little bit of vitriol in this poem.

---

"My mother died that day five years ago.
You see, she was a human turned chimera.

No one in our family saw her demise coming,
As we expected her to be immune to our poison.
Maybe having five children diminished such capability,
Explanations are mandatory, so

I will explain.
So, we are strawberry poison dart frog chimeras, but that is not all.

Guess our dna is complicated, our brains are partially birds of prey,
And we also have the ability to summon porcupine quills.
Regretfully, I suppose that makes my family unique.
Regretfully, however, that also means we are highly toxic.
And our frog forms are dangerous to humans,
Noxious to living beings.

From what I know, our mother had immunity.
Right, when I was very young and transformed, she could still touch me.
All that changed after my siblings arrived
Maybe giving birth to five chimeras reduced her immunities.
Ah, I guess a human turned into a chimera through mating has its challenges.

It must have weakened her body having five kids,
As I recall, my mother was never really strong. She was sickly, weak. A
Miracle my mother could have five frogupine chimeras.

At any rate, that day changed our lives.

Five years ago, an accident happened
Right as
Our youngest sister, Marble was being picked up, she transformed.
Guess her immunity ran out that day,

Poison seeping through her skin,
Our mother did not wake up that next day.
Really, it is not Marble's fault, she was two
Could not have known
Untimely demise awaited her
Poison is terrifying
It would seem this was a catalyst of things to come
No more living in Sumeru,
End of the month, we were going to leave

Civilization, god's gaze, all going to be left behind.
Having a discussion we all surmise,
'It is best we throw ourselves into the abyss.'
Maybe I should have been more surprised.
Even so, this is for the best
Realistically, no one can be hurt by us anymore.
All of us will no longer be a threat to Teyvat.

But, my sister Céir, has questions.
'Uh, father, what about the younger kids?'
That was a logical question,

The younger kids, Gloine and Miotal, were only six and eight,
How could they survive such a horrifying place?
'All that is down in the abyss is monsters,' my father explained.
That was a lie.

It was a lie,
Something he would regret.

Just as the discussion picked up speed,
Utmost concerns were at their peak.
So many questions,
The lies were in full stock.

The lies were easy to spot,
However, I said nothing
Everything would just be better if we all disappeared.

Blatant lies about the dangers or not,
Everything had been decided that day
Guess we'll have to break the news to the kids
I am nervous, however
Nervous for Marble
Nervous for Gloine, Miotal
Is it truly safe for young children to go down there?
No, it is not, they are not allogenes.
Guess there will be no convincing our father.

Our father is right, after all. Us
Frámas are highly toxic

Marble, Miotal, Gloine, will they be okay?
Young as they are, this could go any way.

So, now we have to prepare.
The abyss only opens for those who thirst power.
Ordinarily, I do not wish for such
Right, I'll just have to play pretend.
Yes, a game of thirst for strength

Maybe I want a little,
Yes, a smidgeon,

For the moment, father teaches Céir and I to smith weapons.
All three of us learn the basics.
Maybe it would be better if Miotal, Marble and Gloine did not come with us to this abyss.
It is best I discuss this with father,
Looks like my and Céir's concerns were the same
Yes, I suppose being two years apart, we think alike.

Looking at him,
I ask, but the answer,
Very much so, was what I'd expect.
Expected, and not surprised.
Should not have asked really, I knew the answer.

'Isn't there anyone who can take the kids in?' I knew the answer.
'No, Garrán, your Uncle wants nothing to do with me.' I knew the answer.

There is no one else,
Here's to danger
Every single day.

And the day of descend drives closer.
Barely two weeks away.
You know, Marble is sickly,
She won't survive down there,
She has a had a weak body ever since she was born.

Even as she approaches three, the
Venom inside her body
Eventually will take her life,
Really, the abyss, is this for the best?
You know, I'm having doubts.

Doubts, misgivings.
Animosity, pain.
Yet, at this point, there is no changing his mind.

It is too late,
Soon the abyss will be our abode.

For now, we must prepare
I tell Miotal, Gloine.
Looks like they have questions.
Looks like they have many inquiries.
Ears open, I listen.
'Da abwyss what'z 'dat?' Gloine asked.

Well, if it were anyone else, they'd tell him to speak clearly.
It seems, though, Miotal answers before me.
'The world beyond Teyvat, dear younger brother,' Miotal explained.
Huh, who taught him to speak that way?

Do not know, Sumeru is just full of budding scholars, I guess.
And this discussion went in the opposite direction of my expectations.
Now, he thinks it's a fun place.
Gloine cheered, 'oow an adwentcher!'
Even now, I hold some regrets.
Right, that day, I could not say it.

Say the abyss was dangerous.
Oh, Archons, do I regret that.

It is now the last day.

Knowing the danger, I ask one last time.
'Isn't there any way you can convince Uncle to take the younger kids?' I ask one last time.
Looks like the answer is no.
Looks like the answer won't change.
Even as we throw ourselves in,
Danger is all that is on my mind.

Ah, Marble, she's so little,
No way she understands what's going on

Ah, this realm, it is full of darkness
Barely any light
Yes, I suppose, this is the void realm.
So, danger is everywhere,
So, my father is a liar.

Looks like we'll have to be cautious
Every day, I will be here, forevermore.
Corruption may come for me,
The abyss, there is no safety.
Oh man, the monsters here, my father was lying.
Right, well, we all build a hut

And a makeshift weapon bench.
Now, we are here forever.
Definitively.

So, the days here in this abyss,
They are different
Our time here goes by faster
Looks like no one will notice our absence
Everyone, maybe they'll think we are on vacation.

However, I soon discovered something
I soon discovered something, the Abyss Order.
So, my father truly was lying.

Can't let those people get anywhere near my family.
Looks like, I have to get my hands dirty.
On this day, a man died.
Touching an Abyss Lector's skin,
He died to my poison in an instant.
Eh, looks like I have to pretend to be him
So, they don't suspect a thing.

Taking their clothes, I assume their role.
Of the Electro Abyss Lector.

So convenient, for I am an Electro Wielder.
Utmost, all I care about is my family's survival.
Really, I'll do anything. Lie, kill, steal, if I have to. Like a
Vulture. My brain's center.
I will do anything.
Verily so.
Even die for them, if I have to.

It seems the Abyss Lectors use Catalysts.

Now, that is not my weapon type. But I have no choice.
Oh, bother, I have to do this.
With this, I can keep my family safe.

Perhaps I am getting corrupted down here.
Really, this place, I feel so angry.
Every day, I feel angry.
The abyss months have been passing rapidly.
Even now, I am pensive.
Now, even Marble, the little one, notices. 'Garry?' she asks.
'Don't call me Garry!' I accidentally shouted.

That name, too masculine!
Oh, man, I am angry again. I am truly corrupted.

'But you always let me call you Garry!' she reminded.
Even with this reminder, this was only the beginning of my

Anger issues.

Miotal has taken interest in hunting.
Even so, I shouted,
'Miotal, you are NOT hunting!'
Blunting my words.
Everything makes me so angry.
Really, what is going on with me?

Oh, the Abyss Order, they suspect something.
For some reason, they are onto me.

This disguise, if I am caught
Heralds will kill my family.
Even so, I will not let them.

Archons, can you hear me?
Better protect my family!
Yes, I suppose I have to steal something to be more convincing.
Steal something so I can keep acting
Steal something so they suspect nothing.

Oh, Archons, what am I doing?
Really, I am truly corrupted.
Don't know how much of me is left anymore.
Even so, my family's safety
Remains my top priority.

The abyss months are passing faster.
Oh, I am a bucket of rage.

Seems Céir now takes the boys hunting.
Ultimately, I can say nothing.
Really, I am too angry.
Vulture brain must be on
It may be too late,
Verily so,
Even if it's too late,

At least it's my mind,
Not my body.
Do not know if this is true, don't

Know if this is a lie, continuous
Exposure to the abyss, corrupts the body
Exposure to the abyss transforms the body.
Perhaps if I keep playing pretend, that won't happen.

My body is an anomaly
Yes, an oddity.

For I am a chimera,
A being beyond understanding.
My siblings, if they become corrupted,
If any transform into one of those monsters,
Looks like one of those Abyss Lectors bodies, will be dropping, if so.
You know, that thought just makes me angry!

So, I believe an abyss year and a half has passed.
Ah, but my body is the same.
Feels like I am not aging down here in this abyss.
Even so,

I feel so angry!

Why was Gloine affected by this corruption?
I'm certain, his speech it's worsening.
Looking at me, he says, 'Gawwy, wetz gow huntwin!'
Looking back, I scream, 'Don't call me Garry!'

Don't call me Garry!
Oh, I'm so angry!

And now, Céir is looking at me.
'No need to get so angry, Garrán. Alright, Gloine, let's go hunting.'
You know, she's right,
That I am too angry,
However, it is too late.
I am too far gone.
Now, my father says he does not recognize me for who I am anymore
Guess I have to try to calm down, for their sake.

Two years in Teyvat have passed, I think.
Or so I believe.

Even I am no longer sure.
No times down here add up anymore.
So, I have given up.
Ultimately, my body ages on Teyvat time.
Really, at least I am not old, and grey.
Even if I am corrupting.

My days pretending to be an Abyss Lector have,
Yet to come to an end.

For the safety of my family is all that matters anymore,
All that matters. And,
Marble is getting weaker,
I need to do something.
Lectors, if you go anywhere near my family
Your bodies are mine.

Stealing a potion, I hope for the best,
Taking it to Marble, I hope for the best,
Ah, I'm so angry!
You know, her body might be corrupting!
So, I need to keep stealing from those villains, quickly!

Although, now my secret is about to be blown.
Leaving to play pretend Abyss Lector,
I hear Céir calling out to me
Vehemently.
Even if I ignore her, she'll just keep calling to me. I turn around.

Evidently, she has a stupid question for me, 'Where are you going, Garrán?'
Vicious question. I respond, 'None of your business, Céir!'
Eyes are on me. I'm so angry!
Now she is looking at my outfit. I'm angry!

Invasive question incoming. 'Why are you wearing that?'
For Archons sake!

'It's not your business, Céir! Turn around!' I shouted.
Turn around, she did not.

More invasive responses. 'I know what you're up to, Garran.'
Eyes on me, I'm angry!
Ah, so she knows,
Now, I'm fuming.
Shouting, 'Don't you dare tell the kids!'

I'm so angry!

Well, she claims she won't tell them,
I hope she's not lying.
Looks like she has something to say still, stop talking!
'Look, just because your name alternately can mean guardian doesn't mean you have to do this all by yourself.'

Her words, stupid! I do not respond and dash away.
Absolutely no way will I get her involved in this.
Verily so.
Everything lies on my shoulders.

This Abyss Lector play, it should only be me.
Only I should be doing this for my families safety.

Don't want to involve them in this dangerous game,
In this dangerous play.
Everything I do is for their safety.

For their survival.
Oh, I'm so angry!
Running, I continue this game of pretend.

Though, when I return to the hut, Marble is crying,
Her pained words echo to me, 'Garry, it hurts, help me...'
Eyeing her feet, I scream.
Marble is corrupting."

---

I encourage people to read my character bios thread. It's the"Kory's big chimera oc thread."

Also, this poem's story continues in the main story of the fanfiction itself, but it won't be public for awhile.

Fourth lore poem. This one is about Naofa and its life in Khaenri'ah before the Cataclysm and after.

Slight spoilers for the Cataclysm that took place, but this is a heavily speculative point of view on what happened. When you're done, check out Ripping Out Those Green Harp Strings, maybe, as it's a technical continuation of this lore poem.

---

"For as long as I remember, everyone claimed I was sacred.
Only thing is, there are no gods here.
Ridiculous, I really don't see it.

Oh, I suppose I should introduce myself.
Naofa is my name.
Even my name means sacred, apparently.

Though, I wonder.
How come my given name is different from the rest of my family?
I despise this pedestal I've been put on by my family.
Now, sometimes I am told I have Jormungandr in the center of my brain.
Great, what does that even mean?

I've been told since I was three, my entire bloodline is a family of lynx chimeras.

Scientist experimented on my siblings and I since conception inside the
Uterine wall.
Pinched with some sort of vial through Khaenri'ahn alchemy, my entire family's dna changed.
Pinched with the vial as well when I was but a collection of cells,
Our organs are split between lynx, human, and
Snake.
Everyone treats me as though I'm sacred.

You know, I just don't get it. Why? Is it my
Outlandish red eye?
Ultimately, I am tired of this.

Can't this 'sacred child' title
All be split between my siblings and I?
No more of these responsibilities, let me be free,

Clip my wings.
Ah, Faxi, Uxi, Irpa and Sylvi always
Look so happy.
Look at me, in this cage

Mayhaps I should explain my responsibilities.
Everyone expects me to lead them to victory.

No one ever lets me breathe.
All day, I am either training non-stop,
Or forced to service war machines.
For some reason, the Eclipse Dynasty, they do nothing
All these experiments done on my family, they could have stopped them!

But that scientist proceeded without intervention!
Ultimately, this body could have been prevented!
This body could have been fully human!

Though, it is too late.
How I wish I could go back in time.
Erase the chimera project.
Yield it from happening.

Cannot do that, a shame.
All the ley lines show is memories.
Ley lines, do something.
Ley lines, do something, please.

Maybe I will ask my brother, Faxi
Every week, he researches the Ley Lines for oddities.

Morning before training, I ask Faxi, 'Can you check the ley lines for the potential to reverse time?'
And, the answer does not surprise me.
'Naofa, that is not possible.' Faxi chuckled,
You know what, I will just find out myself in the future.

This day of training, my brother Uxi is with me.
He wishes to join the black serpent knights
I don't quite understand
No way would I join such a faction myself,
Guess I will ask him today.
So young, and aspiring.

Just as training is about to begin, I
Open with a question, 'why do you want to be part of the black serpent knights?'
Really, I shouldn't have asked.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so curious
Uxi said, 'To serve my people.'
Never speaking more than a few words, Uxi is the quiet type.
Guess that's how it is, I should not have asked.
All my siblings, they get freedom of choice.
No such path exists for me.
Don't know why I don't get a path to decide.
Really, let me be free!

Trim these shackles off of me!
How can the so called 'sacred child' have so many
Expectations of it, at thirteen?

So many expectations, let me breathe!
All and all, I just want to be free.
Cannot take anymore of this really.
Right, maybe when I am
Eighteen, they'll rip off these chains.
Dissect these responsibilities.

Charging my arrow at the target, I scream.
'Hey, Naofa, stop, breathe.'
I will do no such thing, Uxi.
Looks like I missed the bullseye, I'll be here all night.
Dissect these responsibilities.

Know that will never happen, I keep training,
Hitting everything but the bullseye,
A long day of perfectionism absorbs me.
Expectations are always sky high.
No, I don't want to lead my nation
Really, I don't get it.
I don't get it.
All of this makes no sense to me
How can the citizens expect everything of me?
Shackle me to the confines of nonexistent prophecy?

Salvation for the dynasty?
All of this means nothing to me!
Let me go,
Vanish this world beneath my feet
Another arrow missed, I'll be here all night.
The people just want my brain, really,
I have no doubt, it is a one hundred percent certainty.
Oh, how I wish I could reverse time.
Nullify this pathway.

It is too late, but,
No. Maybe someday, there will be a

Way; a way to go back in time.
A dream of a dream.
Reality that could never be.

Abdicate thinking about it
Look, think, focus.
Look, think, focus.

The bullseyes is hit after
Hours of missing
After hours of failing
They tell me to do better,

I just want to scream
Scream until I can no longer scream.

Jormungandr, what is so sacred about that
Ultimate beast inside my brain dna?
So many questions
That never get answered.

Traversing to home,
I bellow out a scream
Responsibilities are tiring,
It is all the same
No rest for my forced upon destiny
Give me room to breathe.


The days are all the same for me,
However, Irpa, my sister tells me,
'I am studying alchemy.'
So, she has chosen her path in life, I see.

Guess all being born on the same day truly means nothing
Our paths are splitting
Diverging.
Look at their freedom to choose, how I
Envy all of them
Sylvi claims she wants to travel to the world of the
Seven above.

Nation reliant on the gods.
Ah, all of them can choose
Their destinies.
I'll never get that luxury.
Oh, this world
Never will I get to experience it fully.

In my sleep, everything is worse for me.
The monster inside me,
Sacred snake, Jormungandr, my so called alternate Khaenri'ahn name.

From what I know, this monster, is just me
Ultimately, it wants to take control,
Take over the body.
Utmost and always, it tries to push me into the mind dungeon inside me.
Regardless, I will not allow it.
Even if it begs me!

Feasting its eyes on me I turn away, but it speaks anyway.
'Aww, poor little flea, your family is lying to you, you know!'
That line again, I won't give in.
Every night, it's the same thing

So, I close my eyes, transform into a lynx.
Hurl my claws, and fight.
Oh, seems I win tonight
Ushering to the exit,
Looks like the monster will not claim me today.
Don't imprison me.

Now, a couple years have passed, my
Obligations have increased.
They now want me to be their salvation in war.

Really, I don't get it.
Every day, they tell me, 'you'll lead us to victory.'
Stop this nonsense, please!
Their expectations grow yearly!

Oh, the ley lines, there has to be a way to reverse time with them.
No way it's impossible, I ask Faxi.

'Maybe there's a way to reverse time through the ley lines, please research it for me!'
You know, why do I ask anything?

Should not have bothered,
He again tells me, 'that is not possible, Naofa.'
Oh, but manipulating them to gain elements in some way, is possible?
Unless everyone is lying to me,
Like that monster in my head told me.
Don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Everyone just expects too much of me.
Really, salvation for a war that isn't even happening
Salvation for a war that isn't happening.

When will they free me from these responsibilities?
How many years are they going to keep pushing me?
You know, everyone's paths have started.

Irpa is studying.
Sylvi is travelling.

If only someone would listen to me
This is not the path I want

Maybe if I tell them I am not the sacred child,
Everything will change.

But alas, it was for naught.
Every time, they tell me I am
Can't you see I am tired of this?
Ah, forget it, they just want me for the brain in my body.
Uttering a growl, I'm forced to do my work.
Shining my red snake eye
Every field tiller is turned on, and starts patrolling.

Oh, so that's why I'm so sacred huh?
Flattering, really!

Might as well give up on challenging fate.
Years pass, I am now seventeen. Things have changed for everyone

But me.
Right, Faxi is still studying the ley lines,
Although, Uxi is a knight now
Irpa is an alchemist,
Now Sylvi is returning tonight from her journey.

Looks like she has an announcement to make.
Everyone gathers around.
'Teyvat has some gorgeous names, so I'm stealing one from them!' Sylvi announced.

Maybe this isn't really a surprise, yet
Everyone else gasps. I do not know why.

Looks like everyone forgot Sylvi doesn't like her name.
'I'm Xena now!' she announced louder.
Very happy for her, I guess.
Everyone is moving forward; I'm stuck on a controlled path.

Another year passes.

Now, I'm starting to suspect something.
Ongoing training has had me fighting some odd looking monsters lately,
Right, some alchemist is making them from alchemy.
Monster looks like it wants to say something to me.
'Alchemy monsters, and you can't even beat them! You're such a little flea!' it snarled.
Looks like it wants control again, well it's not getting the body.

Lunging out of the mind door, I keep walking.
It seems like that alchemist is still trying.
From what I recall, she recently made some 'perfect being'
Even passed on her teachings.

Look, Khaenri'ah make them the sacred child!
I'm tired of this responsibility. I'll
Keep dreaming this dream.
Every day until I leave this world.

Maybe a war is coming.
Years have passed, now I'm twenty.

Something isn't right about the monsters that alchemist made.
I feel like a god's retribution might
Be coming
Looks like the godless nation might get destroyed
If I die, at least I escaped this fate.
Now I know they're coming, I have a
Gut feeling.
So I say goodbye in case it begins happening.

Perphaps I am just paranoid,
Little alchemy won't anger the gods, right?
Even monster inside me agrees.
'A god has nothing on us, moth!'
So, maybe I'm worried about nothing.
Everything is still terrifying.

I was right.

All the gods are here.
Make a run for it.

Now, I'm hearing chaos everywhere.
Oh, I'm hearing something about a curse.
This is the end, isn't it?

This is the end of the line
How I die.
I guess this is goodbye.
Someone shouted, though, 'spare the sacred child!'

Some tall man grabbed me
And shoved me into a portal
Couldn't I have just died with the rest of my people?
Right, why would I get to choose how I die?
Everything is decided for me.
Decisions are never something I'm allowed to make.

Chiseled rocks in front of me, I
Hit the pavement
It seems like I might have been cursed too,
Looks like this is the end.
Darkness, goodnight.

It's quiet in my head,
Seems like the monster is asleep inside me
Now, I'm fading
This is goodbye.

Waking up, I feel confused
How am I alive?
All around me is different since I was last awake.
The world, how did it not spot my body?

I step out and hear a voice

'What are you doing? Your eye is sacred! Cover it Naofa!'
Ah, where did that voice come from?
No one is here.
To be honest, I don't respond, I try to find an exit. But, it calls out to me again.

'I said, cover your eye!'
So, I find a flower nearby, and stare at it.

Inteyvats with the stems hardened.
Making the stem into a string, I
Pop it around my eye.
Over it goes, the voice stops saying something.
Really have to find an exit
There is a portal, I hop into it.
And now, I see the world.
No, this isn't Khaenri'ah, where am I?
There is a girl with horns sleeping by some flowers, I ask her.

Teyvat? Liyue?
Oh, and five hundred years have passed apparently.
Oh, and Khaenri'ah was destroyed, apparently.

Liyue? What about my family?
Everything is different now.
Travelling from place to place is a must be.

Maybe they are out there somewhere, maybe they were spared, too
Even I have a bit of hope.

But that voice in my head, it wants to take control of me.
Even though I do not remember who they are,

Five hundred year sleep makes you hazy.
Really, I do not answer to it.
Every night, it tries to push me into the mind cage.
Even though I do not remember it.

On this night, however, it won against me.
For that voice told me something,

'This is my body, so I'll be taking it back, you flea!'
Hazy on whether that is true or not,
I stay in the cage.
So, I guess this is goodbye.

But hello from me, leech!
Ugh, finally, the body is mine.
Really, it was so easy taking advantage of little hazy weak Naofa
Don't look at me like that, flea! I've waited five hundred twenty years for this moment, an
Eternity!
Now, I, the Jormungandr part of the brain get that opportunity!

And I know exactly what I want to use the body for. Can you guess, butterfly?
Looks like time is up, water flea!
Revenge against the gods!
Every single one of them.
And they'll pay for what they did to me, my family, my home. My people.
Do I know where to start? Of course. What do you take me for, you flea?
Yes, Monstadt is first. I hope you're ready for me."

This isn't exactly a big lore poem, but I decided to write something for Siorc's birthday. This is in the perspective of Yinlong, who plans a big surprise. Enjoy.

Make sure to read every first letter of each line for a secret paragraph.

---

"Around a year after I met him, I asked Siorc
For his birthday.
Though he told me with reluctance that
Early afternoon many years ago, I
Remember it clearly:

April Twenty Seventh.
Looking at the paper calendar in my mansion, the
Little note today reads April Twenty Fourth.

There is not much time left; 72 hours remain.
However busy he may be
I want to do something this year.
Something memorable, sweet.

This time, I will do something.
I have to start planning!
Maybe it will work out, he has been working in Liyue lately.
Exiting the mansion, I head for the beach, thinking.

Every moment is ticking, faster, So I need to
Venture some guesses, think about something special.
Each lap I take, nothing comes to me.
Running around some more, I keep pondering.
Yet I still cannot think of anything,
This is unlike me, why is my mind blanking?
He is very important to me,
I have to think of something.
Now, I decide to sit by the waves,
Gazing out beyond,

Finger on my chin.
In the end, I come up with
Nothing. Head empty. Hour pass, it is time to leave.
As I walk down the path back to
Liyue Harbor, I see something.
Looking to my left in a field I see Glaze Lilies. Something comes to me.
You know, come to think of it he loves flowers.

A perfect idea came to me.
Lilies, flower, nature. Maybe
I should plan a flower party. That is a
Great idea, but I need some help setting this up.
Now I head for the Harbor, ready for work. But,
Every moment I serve food and tea, I am in another world
Distracted, not here.

Imagination land. I might have overpoured someone's tea, oh no.
That's when Boss asked me, 'Is something troubling you today, Miss Yinlong?'

I freeze. Repour the customer's tea. Is it that obvious
Something is on my mind? Readying to

Absolve my clumsiness, my
Panda ears twitch. 'Oh, so you noticed? Well, Siorc's birthday is coming up,' I
Replied. My index fingers were touching.
It is a nervous habit of mine.
Looking at her, she dances slightly.

Then she says, 'Oh, I see.
Well, Miss Yinlong, methinks you are planning something.'
Eight of my fingers twitch, ah, caught. I think I might be blushing.
Now the less regular customers start leaving and
Teacher has arrived. I don't know why, but I feel like he knows everything.
Yes, I am confident, he is knowledgeable. Maybe he can help me plan something.

So, I greet him like usual. 'Good
Evening, Mr. -------, your usual today?' He gives me an affirmative nod.
Vying for his attention, I look at him as I brew his tea.
Ending my pour, I breathe. Resisting the urge to
Nibble on my nails, I
Take the opportunity to speak. 'Mr. -------, I want to ask you something.'
He looks up as he sips his tea.

I wait for him to finish, eventually he answers me.

'What do you wish to ask, Miss Yinlong?'
And now, I close my eyes for a moment, ready.
Noticing the sharp look on his face, I
Try to look serious. Folding my hands

Together, I tell him what I am thinking. 'I want to throw Siorc a flower party for his birthday,' I say. 'I need help setting it up.
Oh, but if you are too busy, I can ask Jiaolong!'

Do not want to get my hopes up, teacher is a busy man, always doing something around Liyue.
Or at the Funeral Parlor, consulting.

So I know I should not get my hopes up. Eyes
On me, he suggests something: 'It would be best if you throw a small flower arrangement party.'
My ears perk. A flower arrangement party? That is a perfect idea, but I do not have any flower pots.
Even so, I thank him. 'That's a great idea, Mr. -------!' I exclaimed, but I admit
To him immediately. 'But, I don't have any flower pots at the mansion.' My head sinks a smidgeon.
He ponders for a moment before getting back to me. 'Worry not,
I will bring you a few if you need.'
Now, he asks me how long until it is time. I tell him there's only three days left.
Gazing at me, I am told I should have prepared sooner. I pass along a

Sorry. He tells me he will be unable to help beyond
Passing me some flower pots, I suppose I understand. Looks like I need to turn to my family.
Evening shift soon over, I return home, the
Countdown begins. Tomorrow, I need to start planning.
I need to start asking.
And spread the word around.
Laying down to sleep, I sigh.

For now, I lay to rest in my dreams.
Opening my eyes, morning is upon me.
Ready to hustle, I grab a bite, then leave.

Siorc's birthday, two days.
I leave the mansion, head
Out of the Harbor, I
Reach Auntie's house. Knocking, she opens the door I
Come inside.

Ah, I think I came at the right time.

Shenlong, Qiulong and Jiaolong are already
Up and about, as expected.
Relaying a glare, Shenlong asks, "Ugh! Yinlong, what do you want? Why are you here so early?'
Perhaps I should have seen this coming, she has never liked me even though we are
Related. I doubt she will want to help me out, but
I prepare to ask her anyway.
Soon, Qiulong and Jiaolong look my way, as well.
Everyone's eyes are on me.

Though I know she will say no, I prepare myself. 'Siorc's birthday is coming up. I want to throw a flower arrangement party for
Him. Could you guys help me, please?' I asked, slowly.
As expected, Shenlong gives me a sour look. 'Ugh, no way! Why should I help you? I don't even know him!'
That rejection, I don't know why, but it stings a little.

Well, I am used to it. But, I persist onward. 'I know, Shenlong, but I need help!
It's in two days! Help me, please?' She bites her lip,
Looking rather irritated as usual. Qiulong gazes at her, 'Don't be so mean, Shena!' she said. She then turned to me.
'Look at Yinyin, she just wants to give her boyfriend a nice little birthday. Let's help her!' Did she just say he's

My boyfriend? Oh, no, I'm blushing. "Qiulong! He's not my boyfriend!' I shouted, embarrassed.
And then she giggled. 'I know, Yinyin, just teasing!' she replied. 'So, you want to throw a Flower Arrangement party? I
Know the perfect spot where we can hold it!' Smiling, she continues. 'You've told me he likes nature. How about we hold it in the
Evening in the flower fields of Qingce Village?'

Hearing this, I smile. Qingce Village, perfect, but,
Is that really an okay place to hold one?
Many elderly people live here. We might disturb them.

However, Jiaolong soon chimes in.
'Ah, yes, that is a perfect place, Qiulong. He will love that,' he said, he then turned to me. 'Of course, Yinlong, I will help you.
Perhaps, we should turn it into a
Picnic, as well?'
Yes, a flower arranging picnic party, that is a great idea!

Ears bouncing, I beam: 'That is a great idea! Help me cook tomorrow everyone?' Shenlong stamping her foot, she
Vehemently responds. 'Ugh, fine! I'll help you! But, don't think I'm doing this for you, or anything!'
Expected answer from her. I know she does
Not like me. Jiaolong then turns to me.

'I will ask boss to help me gather some flowers in Sumeru while at work today.' Qiulong then comes
Forward, 'And I'll ask grandpa if I can go to Mondstadt and collect some Windwheel Asters. Your friend,

He's from there, right?' I nod.
Everyone is agreeing to help me, I feel so warm, happy. But

I need a few additional hands.
So, I exit my Auntie's house, ready to head for the next location. Hmm, the

Baise twins. Maybe they can help me.
Ultimately, I know they always have time.
So, I begin my search. After awhile, I find the duo in Guhyun Stone Forest, I run to them. Linggui notices, and speaks.
'Yer running fast today. Ya need somethin'?'

With two pairs of eyes on me, I say what I'm thinking.
'I need your help with something!' I responded. 'Siorc's birthday is in
Two days, and I'm setting up a flower arranging party in Qingce Village.
Help me, please?'

He looks at me, cheeky grin on his face. 'Yer Fatui boyfriend's birthday is comin' up?'
I blush. 'He's not my boyfriend, honest!'
Soon, Feng joins in. 'But, you like him don't you? Isn't this like a date?'

Feng, Linggui, always teasing.
Always pressing on with this. 'I-it's not a date! My family is going to be there!' I exclaimed, still blushing.
Their teasing soon ceases. 'Sure, we'll help ya. What d'ya need us to do?' Linggui asked. The
Ultimate team has assembled. This might work out.
'I need you to bring a TCG table for me. If that's okay with you!'

'Just a TCG table?' Feng asked.
'Of course, we can do that. We'll bring our sturdy picnic
Blanket, too! Count on us!'

Ah, perfect. Everything is set up. All that I need is here. Now, it is my turn.

Looking around Liyue, I search for Glaze Lilies.
It takes some time, but I collect many.
They bloomed over night, I bunch them together.
Taking m time, I have gathered a bouquet.
Leaving for work for the
Evening, I feel especially distracted.

Cannot focus, but I try my best.
Evening shift over, I retire for the night.
Leaving my bed in the morning, I
Exit the mansion,
But looking ready to enter the house is teacher.
Round flower pots in his hands, he hands them to me.
As the final day before his birthday is approaching,
Time is ticking.
I recall something teacher told me, Siorc likes Barbatos Ratatouille.
Oh, a slow cooking dish, I
Need to prepare it early.

So, I head to Auntie's
House, and we all start cooking.
Onions in the pot, everyone begins cooking.
Ultimately, it take all day, but I am on the case.
Looks like Qiulong and Shenlong are on sweets
Duty. They are baking a cake.

Dousing in some light spice, I turn to Jiaolong.
Opening a shaker, he tells me something.

'I saw your friend in Sumeru yesterday,' Jiaolong said, smiling. 'I
Told him to come to Qingce Village tomorrow evening.'

Immediately, I turn red. 'Did he say yes?' I asked, almost stuttering.

Waiting for his answer, I feel nervous. But, my fears are quelled. 'Now, Yinlong, you know he doesn't talk much,' he replied. "But,
I saw him nod. So, worry not, he's coming.'
Looking at him, I almost drop everything.
Looks like everything is going to work out. I feel like I could jump over the moon. But,

I hold back. I have to stay focused.
Ninety minutes pass, the cake is finished. It is placed somewhere to stay cold.
Venting out a breath, I start to think.
Is he going to like this?
This party might get noisy.
Even so, I want him to be happy. He is important to me.

Ever since I met him, I feel so motivated. I'm filled with
Vigor. I have a dream, ambitions.
Even though I have never told him these things, I am no longer the slow panda I used to be.
Recalling the day I met him, it was almost legendary.
Yes, I want this birthday to be special. Something that will make him feel
Overjoyed. Stove whirring, I
Nudge Qiulong. 'Help me bake some panda and hyena cookies?'
Eyeing the sugar, we begin baking.

Flowers all bunched up together, we place them in a bouquet.
Entering the cookies into a tray, the snacks are done.
Nothing from the cooking side remains.
Gazing at the Ratatouille, it is not finished, but by morning, it will be ready, guaranteed.

Looking around for Auntie, I ask if I can stay until morning.
I continue working. This party, I hope he likes it. Dishes finished late into the
Night, I feel a little sleepy. Dozing off, I
Get up the next morning, ready.
Getting up, and out there, I head over to the Harbor.
Undeniably, I am nervous. What if he doesn't like this party?
I spot Feng and Linggui, who are heading over to their boss.

Juggling a quick commission, they soon head over to me.
In Feng's hands is a bag, they turn to me.
'Ah, there you are. Ready to throw your boyfriend's party?'
Opening my mouth, I stutter. 'I told you, he's not my boyfriend!'
Laughing, they play with their hair, dress in a frizzy.
'Of course, just teasing.'
Noon disappears quickly, the evening is soon approaching. Everyone
Grabbing the flowerpots and food, we head for

Qingce Vilage. We all set up the picnic blanket,
In a few hours, our special guest arrives in.
Uniform, but he is finally here. I
Look at him, smiling.
'Oh, hey, Siorc, you came!' I greeted.
Noting he smiled back, I hide a bouquet behind my back. "Happy birthday!'
Gazing at everyone, we

All bring out our flowers and shout, "surprise!' He looks at the flowers, turning his head towards the pot, Siorc starts to cry.
Now, he looks at me tilting his head, tears still streaming. But, I hear Linggui say. 'Yer crying, birthday boy?
Don't cry! Yer the guest of honor!'

Siorc points at the flower pots, signing a question.
Heart on my sleeve, I tell him. 'We all got together and planned a flower arrangement party for you!'
Eyes soon on the picnic blanket, as well, I continue. 'And we have another surprise as well. Wait a bit for it?'
Nervous habit returning, my index fingers touch.
Leaving the bouquet to him, I watch him begin planting. He looks
Overjoyed, arranging the Windwheel Asters and Glaze Lilies.
Next thing I know, he is carefully arranging the pot, meticulously decorating.
Grinning, he looks so peaceful. My heart warms up a degree.

While he is busy, Jiaolong and I set up the cake and meal.
Everything is ready.

While passing, I call out to him. 'Siorc, turn around?'
In a matter of moments, a look of shock is on his face.
Looking at the Barbatos Ratatouille, he again weeps.
Letting the picnic begin, we all eat.

After the meal is done, we all sing to him.
Ready, we all cut the cake.
Raspberry vanilla, all of us chow down,
As the cake is gone, I hand him a second bouquet.
Nilotpala Lotuses arranged, Jiaolong soon joins in. But, I
Guess my cousins have other plans. Qiulong
Emptying her pockets, a

Flower crown is handed to Siorc.
Laurel laced into his hair, I feel the village
Overbloom with joy.
Elderly people stopping by with slow grins on their faces, as well, this party is filled with
Relative peace. Even
Shenlong isn't acting sour. Feng soon

Taking out the TCG Board, a mini Genius Invocation funfest begins.
Opening up my deck, I verse Jiaolong, but I
Guess I am rusty.
Eventually, I lose, I watch
The others play. Siorc and Feng duking it out with their cards,
He looks so focused.
Elemental dice rolling around, the
Right symbols appear on Feng's side.

As more rounds fire off, it now almost
Nighttime. The party will soon end, I
Don't have much time. Feng and Linggui

Have said their goodbyes.
And Shenlong, Qiulong and Jiaolong have packed up, leaving. Siorc and I we are
Very much alone. Hiding a blush, I momentarily turn away. But, in a matter of moments, I feel Siorc's arms around me.
Elated, he says, "Thank you, sir, for the party. It was wonderful.'

Although, there is not much emotion in his voice, I can tell he is happy.

Providing a smile, 'I'm glad you liked it,"
I replied. But, soon he tells me goodbye. Map
Contraption out, he teleports away.
Now, I feel a little lonely, but
It is all okay. I
Couldn't be happier to see his smile. That is the most important thing."

---

The secret paragraph:

I figured, for pride month, I'd finally get around to writing Feng's gender poem.

So, here it is.

Tw: metaphorical references to genitalia. It's mild, but it's there.

---

"It was a normal day, until it wasn't.
Today, my sister became my brother.

Well, as long as I can remember, he was never happy.
As twins, I get how he's feeling.
So, this morning, in our house in Mingyun Village

A revelation took the lead.

Now, we have been adventurers for some time now, since about fourteen, and we
Open up our day with saying goodbye to mother, but
Right as we leave today, Linggui
Makes a move to say something.
'Ah, ma before we go, I wanna tell ya something.'
Looking into our mother's eyes, she's watching.

Do not know what she might be thinking, but I think she knows something,
As a family of otter chimeras, I wonder if we have stronger intuition, and
Yet, I do not truly think that is the case.

I know he has been suffering awhile.
Now, the room goes quiet as deep breaths are taken.

Letting things breathe, Linggui finally says something. 'Ma,
I am a guy. I'd like ya to see me as
Yer son from now on.'
Unless I am mistaken, there was a look of
Ease on my mother's face.

Ah, no. Maybe that's not the case.
Looking at Linggui, our
Mother smiles warmly.
'Oh, so you finally decided to tell me?'
She asked.
That look on Linggui's face, he looks shocked, if anything.

Regarding this, I think a parent always knows.
Although, perhaps I am exaggerating.
Trying to rub his recently cut
Hair, he asks, 'So ya already knew?'
Even I knew, but I try not to say anything.
Replying to this, our mother says,

'Truth be told, I always knew.
Otter intuition.'
Do not know why, but I am starting to believe that
A little more, but
You know. Maybe that is not as reliable as it

Might seem.
You see, I Feng, have a little tiny

Bit of a secret.
Right, well, it can wait a bit.
On this day, though, I realized more than ever.
That something was terribly wrong with me.
However, that can wait. Anyway,
Every moment, more questions come Linggui's way.
Regarding his name. 'So, what do you want me to call you, son?'

Linggui smiles being called his mother's son.
'I'm alright with Linggui still y'know this
Name isn't all that
Girly. Plannin' on keeping it.'
Guess it is as I've heard before. I recall our
Uncle knows an herbalist named Gui.
In Liyue Harbor.

Coming to this conclusion, our mother
Aptly beams. 'Okay, I'll still call you Linggui.'
Mother says she'll tell our father,
Even if he doesn't accept this, I know Linggui will fight.

Oh, but I suppose I should say my secret.
Ultimately, I am jealous of Linggui.
That must be silly of me, no? But

Allow me to explain.
Since I was little, I have always,

Always looked at him, his feminine,

Girly body. With a sting of envy.
Ultimately, I always knew I wanted what he had.
Yes, breasts, curves, a small, petit little package.

However, he always grew up wanting to be one of the boys.
Especially as we hit our teens.

Some time ago, when he cut off his long hair,
Everything clicked to me.
Each of us wanted the other's body.
Maybe it's because we a twins, we
Share emotions in some way, but that feels silly to say.

Ha, well, now that he's out
As a guy, those feeling inside me
Prop open within me again.
Perhaps they laid dormant for awhile.
Yes, years, we have been adventurers for about four years, I

Believe. As I get older this feeling of
Unease worsens inside me. I can only imagine how
Tormenting this must have been for Linggui.

It's yet another day of adventuring, but his

First day no longer hiding.
Every day now passes, him in the open.
Now, I am starting to realize, this
Gut feeling. I am not

Happy. In my body.
Although, I have never been happy this way.
Very much so, every day is suffocating.
Every day is painful.

As I've grown older, being seen as this 'man' never sat right with me. But, I

Can't ruin Linggui's moment. I don't want to take this away from him.
Obviously, it is best I stay quiet.
Never discussing how I
Feel. It's just
Easier. I know if I
Say something, at least this early,
So many people will look at me.
I do not know, maybe it is not a good idea
Opening my mouth, saying something.
Now, I pocket my thoughts, keep

Them to myself, and continue my days as an adventurer
Onto commission after commission,

Maybe someday I will say something, but now
Another day passes where I suffer quietly.
Knowing me, I'll continue feeling this way
Even now, I know one thing for certain.

I am not male.

How many years had I been jealous of Linggui?
Ah, since as long as I remember, but I have
Vehemently kept those feelings inside me.
Even as he slowly chipped away

All that feminine stuff he was forced to wear, I still
Look at the necklaces he left behind.
Why do I want these? I would
Always ask myself.
Yet, other young girls, I always wanted to look like them, too.
So many years have passed now, it's probably too late. My

Body, it's gruff, manly,
Every time I see myself in our tiny mirror, I want to look away.
Every time I see myself in our tiny mirror, I want to fade away.
No matter how much time passes, I am reminded of that.

Even when I bathe, I am reminded.
Now, I may be an otter, but I am a chimera, at the end of the day.
Very often, I am in human form.
I wish I could just become a full blown
Otter, transform this gruff, manly body away. But,
Ultimately, apparently, that is not possible.
Since we are chimeras,

Only part of us transform. Legs, arms, hips, claws, tail.
Very much so, I wish it were whole body.
Every year, I pray for it to happen, but
Rex Lapis cannot hear me. He cannot help

Me. I wish it was just feelings but,
You know, it goes deeper. That

Blemish down beneath me. I
Really wish it would disappear, turn inside out
Or something. I despise seeing
That thing dangling.
How come it just can't fall off?
Ever since I was little, even though I tucked those feelings away for a while, but it has been
Ramping up with intensity,

As I go through life
Navigating my early adulthood. I
Do not know why everything

Has intensified since Linggui opened up his door,
I do not know why all these feelings
Slowly came back to me. But, it is not his

Fault. I have been suppressing everything.
Even so, I force myself to carry on. Force
Myself to keep on living.
I have to keep going,
No matter what.
If I reveal how I feel
Now, my brother will have his moment stolen.
Eh, maybe this will go away again.

Bury itself shortly.
Over the years, that's how it's been
Despite all that, I'm happy for him.
Yes, Linggui took the first steps.

But, time passes. Months are speeding. Work is going.
Everyone is extremely welcome and accepting of his new way of living.
I'm glad my brother gets to be open,
Now, some people have asked some
Generally rude, personal questions, but

Maybe he does not mind.
After all, I have heard he is speaking to a doctor.
Looks like he is that man with that snake.
Every once in awhile, I see him running around.

I see him on pathways.

For what it is worth, he is kind, understanding.
Even for chimeras like him and I.
Every wake of
Life is important to him.

Now, I am starting to feel even more intense feeling of unease. It
Often leaks into my dreams.

Just between Linggui, my cousins and me,
Our bodies contain spirits of gods, a phoenix in me.
You know, I wonder if that is why I feel

This way? Unhappy being male.
However, this phoenix that resides,
Inside me. They tell me they'll never interfere with my life.
So, I guess I am overthinking.

But, in recent dreams where we communicate, an
Overtly blatant question came for me.
Don't know why, but the vermillion bird spirit, Zhuque, always knows how I am feeling.
Yearning to tell me they know.

Of course, I suppose, being inside me they can
Feel the intensity of my pain,

My emotions. But, I always try to hide
It. But it seems like I cannot do that this time.
Now, they ask me. 'I sense a feeling of unease when you're awake lately, is something troubling you?' I feel a cloud of
Electricity crack over me, just like my Vision.

It's getting more obvious now, isn't it? For now, I attempt to brush it out of the way.

'Fenghuang, it's nothing.'
Electricity crackles.
Electricity booms.
Looks like I'm not getting out of this one. Fine. I'll bite.

Since they aren't buying it, I guess I should
Open up. But, I feel like this is

Untimely of me, only mere months have passed since Linggui did the same.
No. This is my subconscious world. I have to try.
Cawing, I try. I
Open up the devil's box,
Multiple insecurities leaking.
For now, I say the minimum. 'Actually, no. It's not nothing. I...'
Oh, the pause. But,
Right as I do so,
They tell say exactly what I am thinking,
'Are uncomfortable in your own skin, right?' I guess it's true this spirit within me
Beholds all the same pain as me.
Looks like they can feel all my
Emotions when I am awake.

Looks like they know everything.
It looks like they have always
Known everything. Each and
Every moment. Every single day.

Though I say yes for today, I return to
Hiding everything.
I return to attempting to bury,
Stealth myself.

Guess a couple years have passed since then. Linggui is a happy man, living. But,
Right now, everything is beginning to intensify especially.
Ugh, am I even living?
For the past couple years, it's been getting worse.
For the past couple years, it's only been ramping up in uncomfortable feelings.

Maybe it's just me, though, but Linggui seems to be noticing more.
Ah, maybe recently it has slipped I want to wear some jewelry.
Now, I expected him to be weirded out, but no.
Linggui seems to be oddly encouraging.
You know, I thought he would tell me, 'Ya want my old necklaces, yer gross, Feng.' But that was a

Vicious opinion of me.
Even though I let it slip, he
Said to me. 'Ya want my old necklaces?
Sure, Feng. I'll let ya have all of 'em if ya want.' I hide my
Eyes for a moment. And respond with, 'Really,
Linggui, you don't mind?' He doesn't seem to,

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. This
Unrelenting feeling. A necklace, even with something
This small, I'll never look cute, small, feminine.

Who am I kidding? People will stare, laugh, ostracize me. But,
He's so nice, he's letting me take them.
Yet, I try one on and I see myself.

See my face.
How gruff I look.
Oh, I cannot bear to look at me.
Unless I do something about my face, my body. But, maybe wanting more is greedy.
Looks like it is best to go about this slowly.
Days pass, but, my face, I despise it with all my very being.

I despise looking at myself in the mirror. I

Really want to do something to make it softer.
Uncomfortable feelings flow through me as Linngui and
I go around doing boring commissions today.
No, I cannot hold it in anymore.

Makeup, I want this face of mine to look less manly.
Yet, I don't know what to say.

But, Linggui looks at me. I feel
Redder than a ruby as I
Open my mouth and whisper
That I want to try out makeup.
He looks at me,
Eyes on me. And encourages me. 'Ya wanna try on makeup? We'll go ask Ying'er for some tips.' I feel
Ripe for the picking. Would a young woman like her really help me?
Something tells me she won't, but to

My surprise, she instructed me.
Only lipstick and eyeshadow for now, but
Maybe that will cause people to stare.
Even so, I try it out.
Now, I look at myself I feel a little more alive.
Though, only slightly.

I am still stuck like this, in
This big body. But,

I cannot tell anyone else yet.
So, I need to keep on

Being slow, stealthy.
Especially since I feel this
Sense of pain. What if people do not accept me?
This is the Nation of Contracts,

I do not know if I can just change everything.

So, I have to go about this slowly.
Though, it's always the same,
As more days pass, I continue to suffocate,
Yearning to break free from this prison of pain.

Quite honestly, I do not know how much more I can hold in. Time might be
Up. I am slowly reaching the point in my life of
Irreversibility. Peak of the masculine shape I do not want.
Even as a chimera, my body progresses like
That of a human.

Now, I do not know if I can ever pull
Off femininity.
Time will force me into a box of
Huskiness, I can't even look at me.
I wish every mirror would disappear. I
No longer wish to see me.
Guess makeup and necklaces won't

Ever hide my build.
So, I continue to bury the hatchet,
Continue suffocating. But,
As the days go on,
Pass right by me,
Everything is hurting. Lately, Linggui has been
Swimming shirtless in otter form,

Happily floating away.
I wish I could do that. But
My body pains me.

There is no way I want to swim like this. I want to
Hide my figure, become smaller, petit.
Oh, that's impossible. There is no way.
Unlike him, I cannot change my shape.
Great, now it's intensifying.
How can I keep going like this? I don't know truly.

How can I keep going like this? I can't, really.
Each and every day, it's worsening. I do not

Know how much longer I can hide, just keep hinting.
No matter what happen, I think it's time to try
Opening the box. As long as I live, I don't
Want to keep suffering, suffocating, living
So unhappily.

So, I lift the lid,
Open the box.
My time of hiding
Ends here. My
Time of hiding comes to a close. My time of
Hiding shall die.
I will say more after we do commissions tomorrow.
No more years of hiding, tossing these feelings.
Going through our commissions at the

Adventurers Guild, I
Lay it onto
Linggui. 'Lin," I say.

And that got his attention. "Yer callin' me Lin. Somethin' important ya gotta tell me?'
No? Yes? Yes. He's caught on,
Definitely. I breathe

And release. 'I want to start presenting femininely.'
Linggui just smiles.
Linggui must have always known, it seems.

Then he tells me something, 'Yer finally saying' something.
How long have ya been waitin' t' tell me that?' He's grinning
Ear to ear... I guess it's as they say when

You're a twin, they know how the other is feeling.
Everything suddenly feels so liberating.
And I admit it, 'Ever since that day. But, I kept quiet.'
Readily, I also admit it to him,
'Since we were kids, I was always jealous of you.'

Perhaps I spoke his mind,
As he places his hand behind his head.
See what I mean? Twins think alike. He
Says, 'Ya know, I was always jealous, too.

All that time when we were kids, I always thought, darn I wanna look like Feng.'
Now that I think about it, Linggui was always looking at me.
Did he always wish to be manly? Yes, definitely. I guess he was thinking what I was thinking for so many years:

I wish we could swap bodies.

Just about every day, he's becoming more comfortable in his own skin, so
Unless I do something, I will never be happy.
So, unless I do something, I will always be suffocating. So, I
Then respond. 'Really, you were jealous of me?' He

Chuckles, 'I was, Feng. But, I'm my own man now.'
And now, maybe it is my turn. But, secretly, I know
Nothing can be done about me.
Nothing can be done about my body.
Oh, at this point,
Time has run out, hasn't it?

But, I speak my mind.
Reversing the tides, I
Empty my mind. I tell him everything.
All my fears, my insecurities, how much I do not want to live in
This gruff body. But,
He tells me something. There's options. A beginning. My
Eyes widen. Something can be done?

I don't need to continue suffocating? I

Don't need to continue living this this?
Obviously, it'll take a lot of work, but

Now, it's beginning. But I know I need to
Open up to my mother.
Though, I have some fears.

Will she accept me?
After all, what will she think when her other child tell her they are
Not happy in their own body?
Though, maybe she will tolerate this.

To Rex Lapis, please let this go smoothly.
Or I might just break. But I can't

Keep things inside anymore.
Every day is agony.
Every day is breaking me.
Please, archons above, accept me.

Looks like I was afraid of nothing. Mother accepts me.
I have been given the blessing to live femininely. This feels
Very freeing. Have
I secretly been transported to Mondstadt?
No. I'm still here, in Liyue. We start off small. I am
Given a girdle. I can look

Less gruff, manly.
It'll have to do, for now. I
Know, one day, I can
Ease into a new shape with other interventions.

Though, I wish to
Have a different wardrobe.
I want to
Separate myself from my old clothing.

It seems Linggui will let me wear his old clothes.

Now, I could have sworn he threw those away. But, he kept them. I feel at
Ease. But, I know this is just the beginning.
Even if my figure is the way it is, I have
Dutifully alerted of more prevention measures.

There if food to block man juice.
Oh, I would have never guessed something this could

Do something of that caliber.
Of course, as time goes on, I would like to

Speak to that Doctor,
Of course, I know he
Might not be able to help me.
Even so, I know
That the doctor in the
Harbor helps everyone.
I know he helped Linggui,
Now, I'd feel at ease if I could
Get to a level of comfort where

I am no longer gruff.

All I want is to be small, soft.
Maybe then, I will be completely free,

So, I need to keep opening the
Untouched boxes inside me.
For my ultimate level of
Feeling free. After all
Of these years of being
Caged into this
Absolute pain of being.
Things are moving,
I am no longer hiding.
No longer stuck,
Grieving.

I am ready to move forward, transform, fly.
No longer holding back.

The journey to really start my femininityhood begins
Here.
I feel full.
So much weights have been lifted on me.

Bouts of encouragement are coming my way.
Out in the open, in full femininity.
Don't know if people are going to stare, but
You know what? I don't care.

Obviously, people will glare.
For the real truth of it, nothing is really changing, I'm just

Me. No longer hiding.
I am Feng, the adventurer.
Now just petit, feminine, free. Sisterly.
Every day, living happily."

---

Happy Pride Month. This one is pretty long, wow.