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My first little poem

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Old April 22nd, 2008 (9:26 AM).
Toblerone's Avatar
Toblerone Toblerone is offline
Which chocolate is the best?
    Join Date: Feb 2008
    Nature: Lonely
    Posts: 1,137
    Hi, this is my first crack at a poem. I still have alot to learn, so criticise me and tell me what needs to be improved.

    The awful silence

    Wounded and tattered,
    Yet faith not shattered.
    Fighting for glory,
    Our last ever story.
    The darkness of the evening sky,
    Looks down, where many may die.
    This awful silence,
    Is broken by violence.

    My (now dead) Pc family:
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