Hi, this is my first time around the Poetry forums. I like writing and reading poetry. I'm not very good at poetry and I hope to learn from everyone else here in PC. :)

I wrote this poem for my Literature class as each student had to write a poem based on the theme "Nature and the Environment." The poem is titled "Changing Seasons". :D

Changing Seasons

The birds began to sing,
As winter melts into spring.
Trees bud and flowers bloom,
Leaving no trace of winter's gloom.

As the summer sun arrives,
Temperature levels rise.
During this time, people go on a holiday,
To the beach, bay or a luxury chalet.

The weather gets colder,
As autumn draws nearer.
Brown leaves fall off, as light as a feather,
Where they land is unpredictable as the weather.

Winter grips the land with jaws of a steel vice,
The earth is covered in glacial glossy ice.
From the dark gloomy sky,
Fall frozen teardrops of ice.

I hope you like it and give me critical feedback on it. :D

I'm completely with Rai on this.
Some lines are a tad unusual, but pretty much everything else is great.
Your teacher better give this a good grade.

Oh, and welcome to the Poetry section!

@Rai: Thank you for your honest feedback!

@TJGamer: Haha, my teacher gave me an A for it. xD

@To whom it may concern(especially those who read this thread of mine): I'm might have a poem up by the end of the week or earlier, so stay tuned! :D

Regeneration said:

^ That would sound better if it would have been, Where they land is unpredictable as the weather.

Since teardrops is in the plural, falls must be changed to fall.

I must say that you did a good job on maintaining the rhythm, even though the rhyme was slightly messed up at a few places.

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Thanks for pointing that out to me and for your criticism! I've corrected my mistakes and hope to continue improving. :)

Don't worry. You'll improve. I know it.
And congrats on the "A". :cer_smile:

The Man in Black

Who is he? The man in black.
The air around him is cloaked in mystery.
On the pavement, his shoes make a click-clack.
He dresses richly, but not gaudy.

Constantly watching silently,
Nothing he does ever taunt.
His agile movements are stealthy,
And he's always in a suit that's gaunt.

No one knows who he is,
Or guess why he's always there.
But everyone knows this,
He's a Madrigal, so better beware.

This poem was inspired by one of my favourite book series, "The 39 Clues." It's based on a mysterious character, nicknamed by the main characters as the Man in Black. :)

I don't think I have heard of "The 39 Clues".
This poem is still splendid.
Some rhymes don't seem to work well. Such as Mystery and Gaudy.
The idea is very mysterious. Really makes readers curious.
Speaking of which, why not enter it in the Poem of the Week contest? The theme is Mystery.

TJgamer said:

I don't think I have heard of "The 39 Clues".
This poem is still splendid.
Some rhymes don't seem to work well. Such as Mystery and Gaudy.
The idea is very mysterious. Really makes readers curious.
Speaking of which, why not enter it in the Poem of the Week contest? The theme is Mystery.

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Why thank you! Yes, I try to made it as secretive as possible as the Man in Black's personality is also secretive. Oh you should read it, it's a exciting series. This year, they're releasing another volume as a sequel to where they stopped. If you're a speed reader, you'd be able to finish the whole 10 books in less than a month. :)

Oh Poem of the Week? I'm not sure if I'm good enough, everyone there seems like an expert. But I'll take your word and try. At least I've nothing to lose, right? XD

The Night They Were Born

Embodiments of the events that happened that night,
They were resurrected by the phoenix of light.

One with unmeasurable power that's immense,
It runs with fiery intense.

One able to cast thunderbolts at will,
It zips through the sky with shocking skill.

One that runs with the wind,
Purifying water and making it clean.

I know it's kinda short. >.<' Anyways, you might have guessed already, its about the Legendary Beasts. Feedback people! :)

I don't have much to say about this one.
But...it's just...good. Not awesome, but still, very good!
I enjoyed it a lot. Keep up the great work!

Sun and Moon
Heaven's blazing left eye,
Burning high up in the sky.
Through the rain, sunbeams seep,
Painting a colourful ribbon-like strip.

Heaven's right eye of cooling blue,
Illuminating against a nightly hue.
Twinkling teardrops around its lashes,
Sparkling like diamonds with gentle flashes.

When the paths of both eyes intertwine,
The Earth becomes a void of sunlight and moonshine.
The balance of both opposites must remain,
Or else the forces of darkness and chaos will reign.

My poem portraying the sun and the moon and their effects when together. Polar opposites and the reason why they are balanced in nature. Sorta like yin and yang, get what I mean?

I understand what you mean, and you are so right! This is a very well written poem! I really loved it!
The details are beautiful, the rhyming is clever, and the whole idea is wonderful!
And I do like it when I see both the sun and moon in the sky.

The Art of Talent-less
Lines and swirls in a painting,
Only give me misunderstanding.
A mental image I think,
Can't seem to turn out in ink.

Poor sketches, shade and stroke,
The artistic ideas make me choke.
Aesthetic designs,
To them, I'm blind.

The death of a Muse is like someone who tries,
Someone who draws a picture as he quietly cries.
Harsh heavy criticism my works receive,
To be singled out by society's sieve.


I wrote this after I decided to quit art class by the end of the year. It's my feelings of myself that I can't draw and I have no artistic talent, whatever it may be.

"Not everyone can be a great artist. But a great artist can come from anywhere."

from the film, Ratatouille​

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True, you may not have artistic talent. Maybe art class just isn't your thing.
But I believe poetry is one of your strengths. You have written good poetry so far and you still do a great job at it.

Now onto the poem.
It's message is very clear and I love it that way. The rhyming is good, however, its syllable count and rhythm is off-course. Also "designs" and "blind" don't really rhyme too well.
But I understand that you wrote this because you quit your art class. So, I understand.
Keep up the good work!

Thanks TJGamer for trying to console me with advice. Yeah, maybe it's just not my cup of tea.

Moving on with life, I don't always do acrostic poems but I started one last night because I was inspired by the origami paper swans my sister made and crafted all around the house. I am truly amazed at the fine beauty of paper, so here's a poem on origami. ^^

Origami
Ornately crafted and designed,
Real and life-like.
Ideas formed into paper.
Grown from folds made by hands.
Artistic and aesthetically pleasing.
Magic of paper-folding.
I am just fascinated by origami!

I really don't know too much on how a good acrostic poem is made. But never mind that.
I like it. I've seen a couple origami swans at grandmothers house. And yeah, they are pretty.
Good job!

Starry Night Sky
Cloak of darkness, cooling and calm,
I wish I could hold it in my palm.
Adorned with sparkling jewels so bright,
Embedded with a pale pearl of light.

Dark, cobalt and midnight blue,
With puffs of a faint purple hue.
Waves of moonlight drawn above the city,
Your idea of a depicted beauty.

When your sanity started to decline,
You imprisoned in that dull confine.
You speak of it with low esteem,
But it's not worthless as you deem

I can see why you love the artist so much. I've seen some of his works and they are just wonderful! Especially "Starry Night".
It's cool how your poem describes both the person and his work. And that's mighty impressive.
Nothing really needs fixing, so that's all I have to say.
Very well done!