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First Prey (poem)

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Old April 20th, 2005 (4:08 PM).
Dragonfree's Avatar
Dragonfree Dragonfree is offline
Teh Spwriter. :3
Join Date: May 2004
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The battle is over and innocent blood has been spilt.
My victims unfortunate body fell prey to my flame.
But I cant help this feeling Im simply no longer the same;
My stomach seems sick and my heart filled with horrible guilt.

My eyes start to wet, uncontrollably wanting to weep.
My heart screams in pain when I look at the corpse with regret;
I dont want to kill, I just want to live and forget.
Slowly, with sadness, I let myself drift into sleep.

I dream of my future, I see myself treated with fear;
The others respect me but only because I can kill.
All of them mindlessly, fearfully obey my will:
The horrified whimpers are oddly appeasing to hear.

I wake up with knowledge that killing will do me no bad,
My feelings like ice; neither angry nor happy or sad.
~Butterfree/Dragonfree/antialiasis of The Cave of Dragonflies

Still not going to sprite for your fangame. Sorry, but I don't really sprite or give out permission for people to use my fake Pokémon anymore.
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Old April 20th, 2005 (7:16 PM).
Reya Boyens's Avatar
Reya Boyens Reya Boyens is offline
Here to review fanfics.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Minnesota, U.S. of A.
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This is good. I mean, it's different. You've chosen interesting lines to rhyme, but you've made it work. It's wonderfully nondescriptive. Seriously, it's a good thing. it gets in depth with the emotions, but by not giving a specific example, you've left it open to interpretation. Good job.

Okay, I don't care that that pretty poem sucked goat (take it in Spanish and message me if you get the reference). It's the truth. If you don't like my critiquing, skip past my comments.
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Old April 23rd, 2005 (5:02 AM).
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Eevee Trainer Eevee Trainer is offline
I Have No Meaning In Life
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Age: 24
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It's different but I like it
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