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Old June 8th, 2005 (1:48 AM).
愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
~*~Wind Swept~*~
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Location: Fields of Paper Flowers and Candy Clouds of Lullaby
    Nature: Bold
    Posts: 667
    I know this will resemble the other fan-fic In My Own Private Suicide in one way, but I just wanted to write.


    I placed my interlaced fingers on my head. The hum of the computer barely reached me. The only thing I could really hear clearly was the song. The words of the Green Day song I was listening to. The words which had never hurt before now stung like hell. I was at it. The gates of it. The place no one wants to really go if all the stories are true. I was at the gates of hell. My life was horrible. Nothing left for me to live for. Nothing else to hold onto. I dropped my hands.

    "So, it has finally led to this," I murmured as I stared at the computer screen. I faked a smile. The gun I had just picked up in my hand was nice and cold. Cold. That is a word I like. The gun was pure black. I like black too. I considered stopping myself from doing what I was going to do. I shook my head. It had to be done today. I pulled the gun upward and was about at my neck when my mom called me.

    "Sweetie, you have a phone call!" she yelled from downstairs. I put the gun down and quickly grabbed the phone. It was just some telemarketer. I wondered how they got hold of my name.

    'Heck, how do the get hold of anyone's name?' I thought. I picked the gun back up. Enough interuptions. I put the gun to the side of my head. I thought that maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I could fix things. Then the words came. I tried to block them out; I tried to think about not doing it.

    "Nobody likes you..."

    I thought about my mom. How much she would worry. I thought about anything but the words.

    "Everyone's left you..."

    'No!' I thought. 'I won't let it control my life! I will live for another-'



    I wrote this story one time when I was staying up really late. Just tell me what you think, if it's bad or good. Oh, if you didn't already get it, the girl commited suicide, mostly because she learned she had been abanded by her real mom, and she had just got dumped...
    Happily paired with Kratos!
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    Old June 8th, 2005 (11:43 AM).
    White_Winter_Wolf's Avatar
    White_Winter_Wolf White_Winter_Wolf is offline
    Sasuke's Female Reincarnation!
      Join Date: Mar 2005
      Location: The bush with feet following Sasuke
      Age: 24
      Nature: Lonely
      Posts: 647
      Its really... creepy. I'll say that. Its really good but like I said, creepy 9.5 out of 10

      Sometime you need to
      break the rules
      and stand apart
      ignore your .h.e.a.d.
      and follow your .h.e.a.r.t.

      What doesn't kill you
      only makes you .s.t.r.o.n.g.e.r.
      so when you think your hurtin' me
      your just helpin' me last .l.o.n.g.e.r.

      Hold on to who you love
      stay true to what you know
      take everything you dream of
      and .n.e.v.e.r. let it go
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      Old June 8th, 2005 (3:49 PM).
      Kyosuke's Avatar
      Kyosuke Kyosuke is offline
      .·Simple Complexity
        Join Date: Sep 2003
        Location: Pickering, On
        Age: 28
        Nature: Modest
        Posts: 2,485
        Wow I love the way that you wrote it, a bit short.... but it was great .

        The only thing is that it dosun't really go into detail into exactly what happened, it just starts off as thoughts of suicide and ending with her having a battle with her coincense if she should go through with it or not.

        But even without that, with whats there you did a great job '.
        "Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

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        Old June 8th, 2005 (4:28 PM).
        Dark Mage's Avatar
        Dark Mage Dark Mage is offline
        ~Chosen One
          Join Date: Jun 2005
          Location: In a box that says hiatus on it. Or a strange place called Vertigo.
          Age: 28
          Nature: Relaxed
          Posts: 86
          I'll say it's the best suicide story I've ever heard, and it's the only one so far. :3
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          Old June 8th, 2005 (6:33 PM).
          愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
          愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
          ~*~Wind Swept~*~
            Join Date: Feb 2005
            Location: Fields of Paper Flowers and Candy Clouds of Lullaby
            Nature: Bold
            Posts: 667
            Wow...I didn't think it was that good...Thanks everybody!
            Happily paired with Kratos!
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            Old June 8th, 2005 (6:35 PM).
            Geometric-sama's Avatar
            Geometric-sama Geometric-sama is offline
            The Manly Man of Steel
              Join Date: Sep 2003
              Location: Melbourne, Australia
              Age: 57
              Gender: Male
              Nature: Bold
              Posts: 11,433
              Eh, it's very short, and doesn't really have the tension something like this needs. Also hard to understand context, requires a little more background. 6/10

              "One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
              Albert Einstein

              "What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
              Benjamin Franklin

              "Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
              Bertrand Russell

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              ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.
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              Old June 8th, 2005 (6:39 PM).
              Kratos's Avatar
              Kratos Kratos is offline
                Join Date: May 2005
                Location: HFIL
                Age: 27
                Nature: Rash
                Posts: 1,728
                This is quite good I listen to that Green Day song alot. I give it a 100/10. Does this represent your old life? I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                My PC Family:
                Happily Paired with 愛Forgotten Angel愛
                | Chain of Memories (Twin) | Nurse Joy (Little Sister) | Rikku-Chan (Little Sister) | Satrijou (Little Sister) |
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                Old June 9th, 2005 (8:12 PM).
                Psychotic_Demon's Avatar
                Psychotic_Demon Psychotic_Demon is offline
                The Espeon of the Moon
                  Join Date: May 2004
                  Location: In waiting.
                  Age: 26
                  Nature: Quirky
                  Posts: 5,127
                  I can understand exactly what this girl is going through. But, I prefer other meathods of suicide...

                  Either way, it was a really good story. There could have been a bit more description in it, like her surroundings, the girl herself, and a few other things, but it was very good. Great job, Shade. I hope to see more of your stories.

                  Partners in Crime with Thalen.
                  We will loot you, b*tches.

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                  Old June 9th, 2005 (8:14 PM).
                  Lido's Avatar
                  Lido Lido is offline
                    Join Date: Jun 2005
                    Nature: Rash
                    Posts: 50
                    Wow... Creepy as hell! 10/10! Best fan-fic i'v read in a while I'll tell ya!
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