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  #1    
Old June 8th, 2005 (1:48 AM).
愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
~*~Wind Swept~*~
     
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    I know this will resemble the other fan-fic In My Own Private Suicide in one way, but I just wanted to write.


    Suicide...

    I placed my interlaced fingers on my head. The hum of the computer barely reached me. The only thing I could really hear clearly was the song. The words of the Green Day song I was listening to. The words which had never hurt before now stung like hell. I was at it. The gates of it. The place no one wants to really go if all the stories are true. I was at the gates of hell. My life was horrible. Nothing left for me to live for. Nothing else to hold onto. I dropped my hands.

    "So, it has finally led to this," I murmured as I stared at the computer screen. I faked a smile. The gun I had just picked up in my hand was nice and cold. Cold. That is a word I like. The gun was pure black. I like black too. I considered stopping myself from doing what I was going to do. I shook my head. It had to be done today. I pulled the gun upward and was about at my neck when my mom called me.

    "Sweetie, you have a phone call!" she yelled from downstairs. I put the gun down and quickly grabbed the phone. It was just some telemarketer. I wondered how they got hold of my name.

    'Heck, how do the get hold of anyone's name?' I thought. I picked the gun back up. Enough interuptions. I put the gun to the side of my head. I thought that maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I could fix things. Then the words came. I tried to block them out; I tried to think about not doing it.

    "Nobody likes you..."

    I thought about my mom. How much she would worry. I thought about anything but the words.

    "Everyone's left you..."

    'No!' I thought. 'I won't let it control my life! I will live for another-'

    "THEY'RE ALL OUT WITHOUT YOU, HAVING FUN!"

    **********************************************************

    I wrote this story one time when I was staying up really late. Just tell me what you think, if it's bad or good. Oh, if you didn't already get it, the girl commited suicide, mostly because she learned she had been abanded by her real mom, and she had just got dumped...
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      #2    
    Old June 8th, 2005 (11:43 AM).
    White_Winter_Wolf's Avatar
    White_Winter_Wolf White_Winter_Wolf is offline
    Sasuke's Female Reincarnation!
       
      Join Date: Mar 2005
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      Its really... creepy. I'll say that. Its really good but like I said, creepy 9.5 out of 10
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      so when you think your hurtin' me
      your just helpin' me last .l.o.n.g.e.r.

      Hold on to who you love
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      and .n.e.v.e.r. let it go
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        #3    
      Old June 8th, 2005 (3:49 PM).
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      Kyosuke Kyosuke is offline
      .·Simple Complexity
         
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        Wow I love the way that you wrote it, a bit short.... but it was great .

        The only thing is that it dosun't really go into detail into exactly what happened, it just starts off as thoughts of suicide and ending with her having a battle with her coincense if she should go through with it or not.

        But even without that, with whats there you did a great job '.
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          #4    
        Old June 8th, 2005 (4:28 PM).
        Dark Mage's Avatar
        Dark Mage Dark Mage is offline
        ~Chosen One
           
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          I'll say it's the best suicide story I've ever heard, and it's the only one so far. :3
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            #5    
          Old June 8th, 2005 (6:33 PM).
          愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
          愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
          ~*~Wind Swept~*~
             
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            Wow...I didn't think it was that good...Thanks everybody!
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              #6    
            Old June 8th, 2005 (6:35 PM).
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            Geometric-sama Geometric-sama is offline
            The Manly Man of Steel
               
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              Eh, it's very short, and doesn't really have the tension something like this needs. Also hard to understand context, requires a little more background. 6/10
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                #7    
              Old June 8th, 2005 (6:39 PM).
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              Kratos Kratos is offline
              ghostofsparta
                 
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                This is quite good I listen to that Green Day song alot. I give it a 100/10. Does this represent your old life? I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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                  #8    
                Old June 9th, 2005 (8:12 PM).
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                Psychotic_Demon Psychotic_Demon is offline
                The Espeon of the Moon
                   
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                  I can understand exactly what this girl is going through. But, I prefer other meathods of suicide...

                  Either way, it was a really good story. There could have been a bit more description in it, like her surroundings, the girl herself, and a few other things, but it was very good. Great job, Shade. I hope to see more of your stories.
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                    #9    
                  Old June 9th, 2005 (8:14 PM).
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                  Lido Lido is offline
                  Oyashiro-sama
                     
                    Join Date: Jun 2005
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                    Wow... Creepy as hell! 10/10! Best fan-fic i'v read in a while I'll tell ya!
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