The PokéCommunity Forums Create & Discover Fan Fiction and Writing

Fan Fiction and Writing Have a story you want to share? Or in the mood to sit back and read one, instead? Then come hang out here!

Thread Tools
Old June 8th, 2005 (1:48 AM).
愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
~*~Wind Swept~*~
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fields of Paper Flowers and Candy Clouds of Lullaby
Nature: Bold
Posts: 667
I know this will resemble the other fan-fic In My Own Private Suicide in one way, but I just wanted to write.


I placed my interlaced fingers on my head. The hum of the computer barely reached me. The only thing I could really hear clearly was the song. The words of the Green Day song I was listening to. The words which had never hurt before now stung like hell. I was at it. The gates of it. The place no one wants to really go if all the stories are true. I was at the gates of hell. My life was horrible. Nothing left for me to live for. Nothing else to hold onto. I dropped my hands.

"So, it has finally led to this," I murmured as I stared at the computer screen. I faked a smile. The gun I had just picked up in my hand was nice and cold. Cold. That is a word I like. The gun was pure black. I like black too. I considered stopping myself from doing what I was going to do. I shook my head. It had to be done today. I pulled the gun upward and was about at my neck when my mom called me.

"Sweetie, you have a phone call!" she yelled from downstairs. I put the gun down and quickly grabbed the phone. It was just some telemarketer. I wondered how they got hold of my name.

'Heck, how do the get hold of anyone's name?' I thought. I picked the gun back up. Enough interuptions. I put the gun to the side of my head. I thought that maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I could fix things. Then the words came. I tried to block them out; I tried to think about not doing it.

"Nobody likes you..."

I thought about my mom. How much she would worry. I thought about anything but the words.

"Everyone's left you..."

'No!' I thought. 'I won't let it control my life! I will live for another-'



I wrote this story one time when I was staying up really late. Just tell me what you think, if it's bad or good. Oh, if you didn't already get it, the girl commited suicide, mostly because she learned she had been abanded by her real mom, and she had just got dumped...
Happily paired with Kratos!
Reply With Quote

Relevant Advertising!

Old June 8th, 2005 (11:43 AM).
White_Winter_Wolf's Avatar
White_Winter_Wolf White_Winter_Wolf is offline
Sasuke's Female Reincarnation!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The bush with feet following Sasuke
Age: 24
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 647
Its really... creepy. I'll say that. Its really good but like I said, creepy 9.5 out of 10

Sometime you need to
break the rules
and stand apart
ignore your .h.e.a.d.
and follow your .h.e.a.r.t.

What doesn't kill you
only makes you .s.t.r.o.n.g.e.r.
so when you think your hurtin' me
your just helpin' me last .l.o.n.g.e.r.

Hold on to who you love
stay true to what you know
take everything you dream of
and .n.e.v.e.r. let it go
Reply With Quote
Old June 8th, 2005 (3:49 PM).
Kyosuke's Avatar
Kyosuke Kyosuke is offline
.·Simple Complexity
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pickering, On
Age: 27
Nature: Modest
Posts: 2,485
Wow I love the way that you wrote it, a bit short.... but it was great .

The only thing is that it dosun't really go into detail into exactly what happened, it just starts off as thoughts of suicide and ending with her having a battle with her coincense if she should go through with it or not.

But even without that, with whats there you did a great job '.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·
Reply With Quote
Old June 8th, 2005 (4:28 PM).
Dark Mage's Avatar
Dark Mage Dark Mage is offline
~Chosen One
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In a box that says hiatus on it. Or a strange place called Vertigo.
Age: 27
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 86
Send a message via ICQ to Dark Mage Send a message via AIM to Dark Mage Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Dark Mage Send a message via Yahoo to Dark Mage
I'll say it's the best suicide story I've ever heard, and it's the only one so far. :3
Reply With Quote
Old June 8th, 2005 (6:33 PM).
愛Forgotten Angel愛's Avatar
愛Forgotten Angel愛 愛Forgotten Angel愛 is offline
~*~Wind Swept~*~
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fields of Paper Flowers and Candy Clouds of Lullaby
Nature: Bold
Posts: 667
Wow...I didn't think it was that good...Thanks everybody!
Happily paired with Kratos!
Reply With Quote
Old June 8th, 2005 (6:35 PM).
Geometric-sama's Avatar
Geometric-sama Geometric-sama is offline
The Manly Man of Steel
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Nature: Bold
Posts: 11,433
Eh, it's very short, and doesn't really have the tension something like this needs. Also hard to understand context, requires a little more background. 6/10

"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.
Reply With Quote
Old June 8th, 2005 (6:39 PM).
Kratos's Avatar
Kratos Kratos is offline
Join Date: May 2005
Location: HFIL
Age: 26
Nature: Rash
Posts: 1,728
Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Kratos Send a message via Yahoo to Kratos
This is quite good I listen to that Green Day song alot. I give it a 100/10. Does this represent your old life? I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My PC Family:
Happily Paired with 愛Forgotten Angel愛
| Chain of Memories (Twin) | Nurse Joy (Little Sister) | Rikku-Chan (Little Sister) | Satrijou (Little Sister) |
Reply With Quote
Old June 9th, 2005 (8:12 PM).
Psychotic_Demon's Avatar
Psychotic_Demon Psychotic_Demon is offline
The Espeon of the Moon
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In waiting.
Age: 25
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 5,127
Send a message via AIM to Psychotic_Demon Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to Psychotic_Demon
I can understand exactly what this girl is going through. But, I prefer other meathods of suicide...

Either way, it was a really good story. There could have been a bit more description in it, like her surroundings, the girl herself, and a few other things, but it was very good. Great job, Shade. I hope to see more of your stories.

Partners in Crime with Thalen.
We will loot you, b*tches.

Card by Capalex65
Reply With Quote
Old June 9th, 2005 (8:14 PM).
Lido's Avatar
Lido Lido is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Nature: Rash
Posts: 50
Wow... Creepy as hell! 10/10! Best fan-fic i'v read in a while I'll tell ya!
Reply With Quote
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:47 PM.