The legend of Erick

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing
  • 399
    Posts
    21
    Years
    • Age 32
    • Seen Aug 3, 2008
    Chapter one: Flash backErick sat on his soft large sofa, and stroked the delicate blute feathers on the bird perched on his shoulder. It delicately hummed in approval. Erick looked deep into the eyes of the Poke'mon. It was so strange. This mere Poke'mon was his soul, without it he would be traumatized. Without Auroa he wouldn't be able to make it through this lonely life. Being one of the masters seems like a great life to many of the young trainers, but it was a lonely life. Without great Poke'mon for companions, he would be too lonely to cope.
    "It really is just you and me Auroa" Erick said.
    "Arti, Arti" The Poke'mon replied in approval. It went on one leg, then the other, and finally settled on both.
    Erick got up and Auroa hopped onto the sofa, before flying next to him. They were by the fireplace. They watched as one log fell onto the other, the flames consuming the wood, and many little orange sparks went to the top of the fireplace.
    Most people thought of Erick as an old cook, pressured by the master life to the point where he was about to crack. For a start, he kept all his Poke'mon to rome about the mansion, and his faviorute, Auroa, always stayed by his side as if it were a part of him. The rest of the masters gave speeches at Poke'mon schools, and inspired young trainers. But the only time Erick gave a speech he started rambling on about how lonely master life was, and how that normal life was better. Since that slightly disturbing speech had been made, he was never asked to give speeches again. He didn't have any companions in the massive mansion he lived in, and most people thought that is why he was crazy. But the truth was, he wasn't crazy. Eventually, all the masters would feel the deep coldness in life. He couldn't go outside without being interviewed, or pointed at. Most people couldn't live there life like that. That is probably why most Masters die young. They cant cope with much of the pressure. One of the obvious answers to cope is to join the elite four, the most famous group of masters, or maybe one of the other leagues that people could join. That kept them going, gave them a lot of money, and there personal lives weren't interfered with. Erick had considered it many times, but now he wouldn't be accepted. Everybody knew that now Masters were not determined by there status or even by how good they were, it was there reputation. Poke'mon bought in a lot of money to industries everywhere, and the young people needed guidance nowdays. It was good that most became Poke'mon trainers, because others became gang members or drug addicts. That is why they needed good role models. But it wasn't always like that. Back when Erick was young, the elite were way tougher to beat.
    "Can you remember when we first met, Auroa?" Erick asked.
    "Arti! Arti arti!" The Poke'mon said.
    "Heh heh, so do I. I even remember further back. When I first became a trainer"
    Erick settled next to the armchair and stared into the fire. Auroa shifted his weight from leg to leg, then settled, getting ready to hear a story.
    "It all started back on my birthday..."

    More coming soon!
     
    Chapter two: Companion

    The twelve year old's eyes opened, and his heart skipped a beat when he remembered what day it was. He leaped out of bed, smiling with joy. His journey would finally start! He looked at his clock, it read 9:30. He had plenty of time. He quickly got dressed. He checked himself in the mirrior, and brushed his hand through his smooth brown hair. Thn he ran to the bainster, and slided down it. He jumped off at the bottom and dashed into the kitchen.

    He found his mother and father sitting at the table, smiling broadly.
    "Hi mom! Hi dad!" Erick said.
    "Hello son. Today is the day! Now remember what I told you..." His dad started.
    "Yes I know, be safe, keep to the map, blah blah blah" Erick said.
    "That's right. Now, take this" His mother said handing him a wallet.
    Erick looked inside. It was crammed with money! He smiled.
    "Thank's mom! Thank's dad" He said hugging them both.
    Tears came to his mother's eyes as Erick went for the door.
    "Goodbye son!" She called brushing away the tears. "Be safe!"
    "I will mom!" Erick called back before excitedly starting to walk along the gravel path. It was only a short stroll, but he still ran. Then he felt sweat coming from his forehead, so he stopped and walked. The hot sun beat down on him as he saw the Poke'mon market. He went inside, and bought some Poke'mon food, and Poke'balls. It was then he realised he had left his backpack at home! He slapped himself, before running back to his home. He opened the door, and grapped his backpack off the table, before running back to the lab.

    He finally reached the lab after a couple of minutes walking. It was a small building, painted silver for display. He went up to the door, and saw it open so he just walked in. He looked around, and saw the professor at his desk.
    "Hello Erick!" Do come in!" Professor Wirong said. Erick walked in, wandering where all the Poke'mon were.
    "Pick a pokedex and Poke'gear for you're journey. They will help you a lot" The professor said, before explaining how they worked.
    "Thanks professor! Erm...where are all the Poke'mon" Erick said.
    "Oh yes! Follow me!" The professor said, leading Erick to a door. Erick opened it, and found himself in a garden with many Poke'mon in it. Five or six people were walking round, looking for the right Poke'mon. Erick looked around, and saw many Poke'mon. There was a Maril by the lake, a machop lying on the grass, a Phanphy playing with a nidoran, a distressed Magby on it's own, a sleeping Ponyta next to a tree, a larvitar in the corner and a hitmonchan. The larvitar actracted Erick's attention at first.

    He walked over to it. The larvitar shot him a glare.
    "Hello little fella!" Erick said.
    The larvitar did nothing, except glare harder. Erick reached out it's hand to touch it, but it immediately bit down on Erick's hand. It had a mouthful of sharp silver teeth, that pressed down on Erick's hand, hard enough to draw blood. Erick leaped up, swearing loudly from the awful pain. He shook his throbbing hand, and the professor wandered over to him.
    "I wouldn't go with that one. It fights with the others, and it has an agressive attitude" The professor said.
    "I've noticed. I'm definetly not going to have that one" Erick said.

    Erick got up and wandered wich one to have. The suddenly, he felt something lick his face. He turned to see that the Ponyta had wandered up next to him and was licking him.
    "Hello!" Erick said cheerfully. The Ponyta seemed to like Erick. Erick was careful not to touch it's flaming fur though.
    "He seems to like you. He'll probably not burn you, go on stroke him!" The professor said.
    Erick reached a shaking hand out towards the burning fur, he winced preparing to be burned, but found his hand on smooth silky fur. He stroked it again, and it was like the fire wasn't even there.
    "I'll take him!" Erick said happily.
    "Go ahead. Do you want to name him?" The professor said.
    "Yeah, I'll call him... FireGem. I know it's a silly name but..." Erick said.
    "No no, it's a fine name. Well, I'll be seeing you!" The professor said.
    "Yeah, goodbye!" Erick said, before leaving, the Ponyta following him. When he was outside, a boy with a leather jacket and sunglasses came out, with a hitmonchan following him.

    "I challenge you to a Poke'mon battle!" The boy said, pointing a finger at Erick.
    "OK!" Erick said, excited about his first battle.
    "Go Hitmonchan!" The boy said, and his Hitmonchan stepped in front of him, ready to battle.
    "Go Ponyta!" Erick said, and the Ponyta trotted out.
    The boy started to laugh loudly. He rolled on the floor, laughing.
    "Ponyta is a Poke'mon for girls!" He said before continuing to laugh. Erick glared at the boy. Ponyta had a sad look on his face. Ponyta turned and trotted away, too ashamed to fight. This made Erick mad.
    "Well I bet he is a lot stronger then you're stupid wannabe boxer!" Erick said.
    The boy stopped laughing. "Then let's start the battle!" He said.
    "Come on Ponyta, you're not for girls, you're for me, now you know you can beat him!" Erick said.
    A determined look came onto the Ponyta's face, and he walked out in front of Erick. Both trainers looked at there Poke'dex to see what attacks the Poke'mon could do.
    "Hitmonchan, use aqua punch!" The boy commanded.
    The hitcomnchan grunted, before his fist started to spin round. Water started to circulate around it, then he punched Ponyta! The Ponyta fell back as his face was punched, and the water took effect. "Ponyta! Ponyta!" FireGem screeched. Ponyta staggered to the ground, almost knocked out.
    "Ponyta, use galloping kick!" Erick said.
    The ponyta got up with the little strength it had left. It galloped up to hitmonchan, and quickly turned round and lashed out with it's legs. It's hooves hit the Hitmonchan directly in the face, and the hitmonchan was sent soaring through the air. The hitmonchan hit his head against a tree. He fell flat on his back. He got back up, his legs shaking, before falling to the ground, defeated.
    "Yes FireGem! We won!" Erick leaped into the air cheering.
    "Stupid Poke'mon!" The boy said, before kicking his hitmonchan. Erick gasped. The hitmonchan got back up, and punched the kid, who fell over nearly knocked out from the Poke'mon's attack. The hitmonchan glared at the kid, who began to cry.
    Erick laughed while the Ponyta ran round in celebration. The road ahead was long, but Erick was glad he would have FireGem to help him through the tough times. He celebrated while he could, because he may not be celebrating for long.
     
    Firity forest
    Erick looked at his map. He was on route one, so if he went north, it would bring him to the Firity forest, then onto Firinity city, and there was a gym there. Alternatively, he could go east, through Mount Aquardoor, and to Orarar city. But, Firity forest was quicker, and more convinient, so he picked North. He recalled Ponyta into his Poke'ball and started walking. He noticed how the path got thinner and thinner as he walked, and eventually he was walking on grass. Suddenly, his Poke'dex flashed. Erick opened it and on the screen it had a photo of the grass that was ahead of him. It must of took an automatic photo. Then, a robot voice said:
    "Poke'mon hide in grass. Be careful, as they may attack with or without being provoked. You may try to capture these Poke'mon, but you must be careful"
    Erick nodded. He walked through the grass, then he suddenly heard a rustle in the grass ahead. Erick reached for his Poke'ball that held Ponyta, but the rustle stopped. He carried on walking. Suddenly, he heard the same sound in front of him! He reached for his Poke'ball that held Ponyta, and took it off his belt. He was just in time, as then a snubbul leaped out. Erick fell back in surprise. The snubble growled in anger. "Go Ponyta!" Erick said quickly, throwing his Poke'ball onto the ground. Ponyta came out. Snubbul threw itself at Ponyta.
    "Ponyta, use, err" - Erick checked his Poke'dex quickly- "Use ember!"
    Ponyta saw the snubbul coming threw the air, and opened his mouth. Three small flames came out, and hit Snubbul head on. He was burned and injured. The Snubbul let out a little moan of pain and defeat.
    "You're mine!" Erick said as he got out a Poke'ball.
    He threw the Poke'ball at Snubbul, who got up and ran through the grass. The Poke'ball hit the ground, missing it's target completely. Erick picked up his Poke'ball again, and threw it. It hit Snubbul directly, but simply bounced off. The poke'dex glowed again. Erick opened it, there was a picture of a Poke'ball on the screen.
    "Poke'balls cannot be used more then once" A robot voice said.
    By now, the Snubbul had run out of sight. Suddenly, the Snubbul came back, with a Granbull following it. The granbull growled, before running at Erick.
    "AAA!" He screamed before running away, FireGem behind him.
    "Ponyta, ponyta!" The Ponyta said.
    Erick got the general idea of what it was trying to say, and quickly leaped on FireGem's back. FireGem turned, and ran behind Granbull. The granbull was too slow to keep up, so it simply went back to Snubbul.
    "Good job FireGem!" Erick said. But, he could see that FireGem was worn out. Erick dismounted FireGem, and let him lie down to rest, after feeding him some Poke'mon food. When FireGem had eatenand rested, they carried on, They soon found themselves reading a sign that said
    'Firity forest' They entered with caution. Tree's were everywhere. It was like a jungle. There were three paths they could take. Erick suddenly saw something out of the corner of his eye. Perched on a branch, was a mystical blue Poke'mon. Erick got out his Poke'dex, and typed in 'read' The poke'dex took an automatic photo of the Poke'mon then said:
    "Articuno. A legendary unique Poke'mon. This Poke'mon can create snow just by flying. Arguably the best fighting Poke'mon in the world" A robotic voice said.
    Suddenly, a man pushed Erick out the way, knocking him onto the ground, and threw a strange looking Poke'ball at Articuno. But, Articuno flew away, leaving a trail of blue energy behind. Suddenly, the temprature dropped and it began to snow in the forest that was hot a few seconds ago. Erick got up. "I'm sorry" The man said. Erick looked at him. He had sunglasses, a jacket, black hair with blonde streaks, and jeans.
    "I'm Mr De'contarta. I am a legendary Poke'mon catcher. I have been chasing that Poke'mon over Kanoto for three years. But it keeps getting away. If I caught it, I would be the most famous man in the world...the first to ever catch one of the unique Poke'mon...but now I've lost it. I better go, I have to track it down again. Bye"
    The man then ran off. Wow, Erick thought, I've been lucky enough to spot the legendary Articuno! And the poke'dex picture is proof! Erick then shivered as the snow became heavier. He realised how cold it was getting. He decided to keep walking and see if it would warm him up. He picked the left path, and continued walking. Suddenly, he saw something looking at him. He turned to see a Butterfree perched on a branch looking curiously at Erick. It then fluttered over to a flower. It seemed unphased by the snow. Erick opened his Poke'dex.
    "Butterfree. This Poke'mon is the third and final stage in a Caterpie's life. Water proof powder on its wings enables it to collect honey even in the heaviest of storms"
    Erick decided this would be quite a catch, and reached for his fourth Poke'ball. He threw it at Butterfree. Butterfree quickly dodged it, and suddenly became quite aggressive. Butterfree flapped it's wings, spreading a blue powder everywhere. Erick smelled it and started to become sleepy. He shook it off, and threw another Poke'ball.
    "Go, Ponyta!" He said.
    Butterfree glanced at the Ponyta, before tackling it head on. It knocked Ponyta back, and Ponyta fell onto the ground. Ponyta then got up, but Butterfree was using agility, and hit Ponyta again, this time harder, and Ponyta was knocked into a tree. Ponyta moaned in pain.
    "Ponyta, use ember!"
    Ponyta got back up, and used his ember attack. The fire went at butterfree, who flew up into the air and avoided the attack. Ponyta leaped up into the air, standing on two legs, and landed again in anger. Butterfree then used agility again.
    "Ponyta, use galloping kick!"
    Ponyta kicked to where Butterfree was, but Butterfree moved to the side. Ponyta kicked again but Butterfree flew up into the air. Butterfree was too fast! Butterfree tackled into Ponyta, who crashed into the ground.
    "Ponyta, fakeout, then ember!"
    Ponyta pretended to run at Butterfree, but stopped as Butterfree moved, then used Ember to the place where Butterfree had moved. Butterfree was hit head-on. Butterfree was burned, and fell back into a bush. Black marks were on Butterfree, and she was close to fainting. Erick threw a Poke'ball, but Butterfree flew into the air again, though she was obviously weak. Then, she fainted.
    "Oh well" Erick muttered, before he recalled Ponyta, and carried on walking. After a while they came to a stream. A qwilfish jumped out and spat water in Erick's face.
    "Hey!" Erick shouted. But the qwilfish had dissapeared. Erick stepped over the stream and continued through the grass. Then suddenly, a totodile came up to him and said "Totodile! Totodile!"
    "Hello" Erick said, kneeling down. The totodile leaped into the air.
    "Oh, try to steal my Poke'mon wouldn't you!" A familiar voice said.
    Erick stood up and turned to see that boy that had the hitmonchan. He had a large black eye from where the Hitmonchan had punched him. Before Erick could reply to say he wasn't trying to steal it, the boy said:
    "I'll battle you for him!"
    "Fine!" Erick replied.
    The boy threw a Poke'ball and said "Go Hitmonchan!"
    "Go Ponyta!" Erick said, throwing a Poke'ball.
    The hitmonchan appeared, looking angry. It obviously still hadn't forgiven his trainer for kicking him with such disrespect.
    "Hitmonchan, use seismic toss!" The boy said. The hitmonchan did nothing.
    "Ponyta, use galloping kick!" Erick said, making a note of what had happened last time this fight occured.
    Ponyta ran up to Hitmonchan, who simply stood there. Ponyta turned and kicked hitmonchan as hard as he could. Hitmonchan was sent hurling into a tree. He slumped to the ground, nearly ready to faint. He got up, and brushed the dust off of him and stood there.
    "Hitmonchan, fire punch!" Erick said. But Hitmonchan just stood there.
    "Ponyta, ember!" Erick said.
    Ponyta used his ember attack, and the fire sped at Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan was hit, and landed, burned. He fainted.
    "YES! Totodile is ours!" Erick said. Totodile seemed to take note of this, as he walked up to Erick, and jumped up in the air happily. Ponyta came up to Erick and licked him in happiness.
    "Get up you pathetic excuse for a Poke'mon! You must be the worst Poke'mon alive!" The boy said to his hitmonchan. The hitmonchan got up, and punched the kid again, but harder. The kid went back and hit a tree, and was knocked out.
    "He won't be getting up for a while" Erick said. He recalled Ponyta and Totodile, and continued walking through the forest. Thankfully, the snow stopped.
    "God knows where Articuno is now" Erick said, noticing the climate change again. As the forest regained it's normal hot climate, the Poke'mon came out from shelter. Erick ssaw a Weedle come out from under a tree. He went for his Poke'ball, but the weedle scurried away. Suddenly, a male Nidoran leaped out and started hissing at Erick. Erick reached for his Poke'ball.
    "Go, Totodile!" Totodile appeared. Erick took a quick look at his Poke'dex and then said
    "Totodile, use bubble!"
    Totodile opened his mouth and a beam of bubbles came out, heading straight for Nidoran. It hit him, and the Nidoran fell back, before scurrying away. Erick recalled Totodile before continuing. Then he saw where all the paths met in a clearing. As he continued walking, the trees became thinner and thinner, and soon he had walked out of the gloom of Firty forest! He had completed Firity forest, and gained a new Poke'mon in the process. He looked ahead and saw the lights of Firinity city.
     
    Well, although this seemed like a traditional trainer fic, you've made it seem quite interesting so far. For one thing, it doesn't seem to be an actual child's story, but more of an old man's reflection of his childhood, which adds a bit of a twist to it. Having the Ponyta was also a nice starter, as when you introduced the Larvitar, I instantly thought "MARY-SUE ALERT! MARY-SUE ALERT!" But thankfully, that wasn't the case in this fic.

    There are one or two things that you could work on to make this better though. The first of which being your description. You didn't actually describe Erick at all. So... he could be just a blob of nothingness for all I know. You did describe the kid with the Hitmoncahn though... But it's not just the characters you need to focus on. The scenery and surroundings can play just as an important part as the plot - so it's a good idea to describe those well.

    Another thing is the pace of your fic. You do seem to be going incredibly quickly. The two battles with the Hitmonchan wouldn't have lasted that length of time if this was a real world. If it was a Tyrogue, then maybe, but since it's a fully evolved Pokemon, it would have put up a better fight than it did with the Ponyta

    Well, there were a few typos and past/present mix-ups occasionally, but apart from that, work on your description and you should be fine. ^_^

    "A Vote for Justice is a Vote for MCD"
     
    Having the Ponyta was also a nice starter, as when you introduced the Larvitar, I instantly thought "MARY-SUE ALERT! MARY-SUE ALERT!" But thankfully, that wasn't the case in this fic.
    Heh, tricked you didn't I?

    You didn't actually describe Erick at all
    You're right. I only put a tiny bit of description of Erick at the beginning, and I know that wasn't enough. I'll try to describe him more in the next chapter.

    You seem to be going incredibley quickly
    Really? Do you mean with the battles all the overall fic? I tried to drag chapter three out a little.

    I thank you for you're compliment and you're constructive critiscim. It helps a lot in the overall development of the story. Thank you.
     
    By saying incredibly quickly (and having a typo in there as well ^_^), yes I did mean the battles, but mainly the ones with the Hitmonchan. In real life, a Hitmonchan would have put up a better fight to a Ponyta, especially when it even had an attack that would have been super effective if it had hit.

    I also forgot in my original review that the length was very good for a fic of this type. Especially the second chapter, you put a lot of action in it. But be careful not to do it, or it may make the chapters a bit overlong and boring.

    "A Vote for Justice is a Vote for MCD"
     
    Chapter four: Firity City
    Erick turned over in his sleeping bag. Totodile watched his new owner toss and turn in distress. Totodile was distressed. He was worried about his new master, regardless of the period of time he had known him. At first Totodile thought of giving his master a little squirt of water to awake him. He got up, and he felt the water coming into his throat, and he put his head back ready to squirt him...
    "Ponyta" Ponyta said from the outside. Totodile glanced at the gap in the tent. The Ponyta was shaking it's head. Totodile got the message. Ponyta got back down, resting it's head on it's paws, and fell back into a deep sleep, it's flames still blazing. Totodile crept outside to where he was supposed to be sleeping, and curled up, and fell into a deep sleep.

    Erick awoke. He yawned, and saw raindrops falling outside of the tent. Strange, he thought, he didn't hear any rain. He stretched, before getting outside to wake his Poke'mon. He stepped outside, not seeing the Poke'mon anywhere, but suddenly he felt himself getting lifted up. He let out a gasp of surprise, before looking up. He saw Articuno, her blue feathers glowing through the dim morning light. Articuno screeched and turned, and Erick saw the Kanoto league come into view. Articuno flew over the Kanoto leagues, and a battle was going on. But suddenly, Articuno dropped him. He fell through the air. He screamed in terror. He fell down, down... He landed, the two trainers nowhere to be seen. Then everything went black.

    Erick awoke screaming. He looked round, seeing the sunlight poke through the gap in his tent. He saw his two Poke'mon looking at him. Erick looked around. It took him a few moments to realise it was only a dream. He fell back, breathing a deep sigh of releif. It was all a dream. Erick stretched, and went outside, half expecting Articuno to pick him up. Fortunately, nothing happened. His Poke'mon got up and watched him pack up the tent. He fed the Poke'mon, before heading down the hill. He went towards the city. Soon, he entered the city. There were buildings everywhere, but there was a large crowd gathered by the Libary. He saw the flashes of cameras and heard a feirce battle starting. Erick ran up to the crowd and tapped someone on the shoulder. A red haired kid turned round.
    "What's going on?" Erick asked.
    "Some guy with eleven badges found Articuno and he is battling it now! The articuno took out his Rhydon and Machamp, and now his Scyther is battling the Articuno!" The kid replied excitedly.
    Wow, Erick thought, eleven badges!? You only need 8 out of the 12 to participate in the Kanaoto leagues.
    Erick pushed through the crowd, and saw the battle emerging.
    The Articuno screeched in anger. Most of the photo's were focused on that.
    "Scyther, use fury cutter!" The boy said. The scyther flew up to the Articuno, and slashed at it with it's sharp edged arms. The Articuno tackled into the Scyther head on, making the Scyther fall to the ground.
    "Scyther, use Agility followed by hyper beam!" The kid said.
    The scyther suddenly moved to quickly to see. It's buzzing was loud as it moved from side to side, only a green blur to anyone who saw it. But, Articuno opened it's motuh, and a blue beam of energy came out, hitting the Scyther that was in the middle of it's agility. The scyther fell to the ground, part of it blue with icicles hanging from it's wings. Scyther shook with the cold, and nearly fainted.
    "Scyther, try to use hyper beam!"
    The scyther glowed red as it charged up for a hyper beam. It took at least two minutes to charge before releasing a pathetic hyper beam, that didn't make it very far before disintergrated into thin air. The Articuno screeched. The scyther got up, struggling, to recover from the ice beam. The scyther shook, shaking snow off it's body.
    "Scyther, use vine whip!"
    Two vines extended from the bottom of the wing's and hit at the Articuno. A reflect came out in front of Articuno, and the whips went back into Scyther's body. Articuno flew over to Scyther (and a noticeable change of temprature occured) and the Articuno tackled the Scyther. The scyther fainted. The Articuno flapped it's wings, creating a heavy blizzard, before flying into the sky. The snow hit the camera's breaking all the film. Luckily, Erick's Poke'dex was safe in his bag.
    "Nooo! A once in a lifetime chance and I failed!" The trainer screamed.
    Erick watched the Articuno fly away.
    This chapter to be continued....
     
    Chapter five: The gym
    The crowd watched in awe as the articuno flew off, leaving a trail of glowing light behind it. The people with cameras saw that there film had frosted over, ruining the pictures. Erick checked his pokedex, and went on the search program. He typed in 'Articuno' and there was an entry for information, but no picture. Erick gasped. What had happened? The picture had vanished. How mysterious. Erick closed his Pokedex and saw that the crowd had dispersed. His pokedex suddenly beeped, he opened it, and it had took a picture of the Pokemon centre.
    "Pokemon centres are places where Pokemon can be healed, and they are great shelters" A robotic voice said.
    Erick trudged through the snow, noticing that it was getting a little heavier, and went into the Pokemon centre. The heat swept over him. He sighed in releif, and stepped inside. He went onto a chair, and relaxed. An employee walked up to Erick.
    "Would you like you're Pokemon to be healed?" The nurse asked in a pleasent voice.
    "Oh yes, here" Erick said, handing the nurse a fistful of dollars.
    "Oh no, our service is free" The nurse said smiling.
    Erick smiled in surprise, and handed his Pokeballs to the nurse. She went into a room, and came back a little later, handing Erick's pokeballs back to him.
    "Thankyou for using our service" She said, before walking away. Erick gripped his Pokeballs, and muttered
    "Let's go get ourselves a badge" Erick said. He smiled, and then went over to the door, and opened it. The snow had died down, but it had made the ground harder to walk on. Erick trudged through the thick layer of snow on the ground. The sun started to peak out from behind the clouds, and the snow slowly began to melt. But, from behind Erick, a fist slammed into his back and Erick fell face-first into the snow. He got up, spitting snow out of his mouth, and turned to see a familiar face.
    "Move, loser! I'm off to get a badge! Yes, soon you'll see the name 'DAVID PARCNAN' on the news, because I'm going to be a master!"
    He laughed and walked off, chuckling to himself. Erick's eyes narrowed at the sight of that child. The hitmonchan reluctantly followed the boy. Erick hoped that some day, he would crush that David, and be a master. Erick watched David walk up to a sign, glance at it, then walk left of the sign. Erick kept a fair distance, but followed nonetheless, and eventually saw David walk up to a large building. He wen in. Erick swfitly followed, picking up his pace. When he came near the building, he saw that it was an official Kanoto gym. It was liscenced and all. Erick went in, and saw a room with a sofa at the end of it, a door, and a desk where a woman sat.
    "Please wait a few minutes. Tanishi is currently battling another person. He will be done soon. You may sit down, if you wish" She said gesturing towards the sofa.
    Erick walked over ot it, and slumped down, sighing. He decided to let out his Pokemon. First, he let out FireGem. Ponyta came out, reeling up on two legs, before sitting down. The heat that came from Ponyta's blazing fur warmed Erick up. Then, Erick released Totodile, who was happy as always.
    "Totodile!" Totodile said, greeting his master.
    Erick laughed at Totodile's enthusiasam. Erick lay down on the sofa, trying to pick up bits from the battle. But, all he heard were crashes, and the occasional swear word. Erick closed his eyes, and found himself sinking into a fantasy.
    There Erick stood, opposite of David. Lights were everywhere, and the people were chanting 'ERICK, ERICK, ERICK' all around. Erick smiled, as FireGem delivered the final blow. The Pokemon fainted and an announcer's voice said
    "Wow! What a stunning victory made by Erick! Oh look, David is crying! What a baby!"
    Erick smiled as confetti rained down on him. He was awarded a gigantic golden tropgy. Erick smiled in victory, as people rushed out to meet him.
    Erick was so endulged in his fantasy that he barely heard the door open. He opened his eyes to see David, with a grim look on his face.
    "Is the baby going to cry?" Erick said mockingly.
    "Shuttup. That leader is tough! You dont stand a chance" David replied.
    "Anybody can beat you. It doesn't mean there tough" Erick said.
    David opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of anything, so stuck his middle finger up at Erick, before walking out. Erick smiled, with the sweet pleasure of knowing he had outwitted his enemy. He smiled.
    "The gym leader will go against you now" The woman said, and Erick got up, recalling his Pokemon, and walked towards the open door. He walked towards the door, and saw a framed certificate certifying that this was an official Kanoto gym. Erick glanced at it, before going into the gym. He looked at the arena. It was uprose from the rest of the gym, and was grey. He saw a man with blue hair on the opposite side of the ring, leaning against the wall, with his eyes closed. He brushed the hair off his eyes, before looking at Erick.
    "Another newcomer. When will the amateurs stop coming?" He said to himself, sighing. Erick decided not to say anything, as this was a gym leader.
    "I am Erick, and I challenge you, Tanishi, to a gym battle!" He said.
    "I accept this pathetic challenge. A three on three. Let's go" Tanishi said.
    "Actually...I only have two Pokemon" Erick said.
    "Pshh. What a joke" Tanishi muttered. "Fine a one on one. Begin!" Tanishi said.
    "Go, Totodile!" Erick said, throwing his Pokeball.
    "Go, Kirlia!" Tanishi said, throwing his Pokeball.
    Totodile in the arena, jumping up and down, happy to be free.
    "Totodile, totodile!" He said with a glee.
    Kirlia appeared, floating slightly off the ground, with her eyes closed. She opened them, and they were blood red. Erick got out his Pokedex, and pointed it at Kirlia.
    "Kirlia. A powerful physic Pokemon" It said. Erick pressed a few buttons, and totodile's move list came up.
    "Totodile, use water gun!" Erick said.
    Totodile registered it's trainer's command, and opened it's mouth. Water came out of it's mouth, heading directly for Kirlia. The water travelled at great speeds, heading through the air with great force.
    "Teleport then confusion" Tanishi muttered, seemingly bored.
    Kirlia waited untill the water was millimeters away from her, before dissapearing in a green flash of light. Totodile stopped the water, letting it drop to the area floor, wandering where the Pokemon had gone. Suddenly a blast of physic energy came from behind Totodile, that threw Totodile across the room. Totodile managed to land on his feet, but was obviously hurt by the powerful attack. Totodile saw that Kirlia was at the opposite side of the room.
    "Totodile, use spinning tackle!" Erick said, noticing that move on the Pokedex. Totodile ran at Kirlia, gaining speed quickly, before leaping into the air and beginning to spin.
    "Kirlia, use phyconetic power" Tanishi said.
    Kirlia's body glowed red, and then Kirlia closed her eyes. Suddenly totodile stopped spinning and was sent crashing into the floor. Totodile let out a gasp of pain. But jumped up, for his master. Erick saw the little Pokemon hurting itself, all for Erick. Totodile's breathing was heavy already. He had a mark on his back, that indicated he was losing HP.
    "Totodile" Totodile said, but not happily as he normally did. Erick saw that Totodile was really struggling for him
    "Totodile, use water punch!" Erick said. Totodile ran at Kirlia again, faster then ever, determined to get the Pokemon this time. He ran, getting faster and faster. He extened his hand, and clenced his fist, and water started to spin round it.
    "Kirlia, use physic punch" Tanishi siad, after yawning for the third time.
    Totodile got very close to Kirlia, and managed to make his knucles bursh against Kirlia, before Kirlia bashed her hand against Totodile, so quick it was a blur to Erick and Tanishi. Kirlia's hand stopped glowing purple, as it had done when she punched Totodile. Totodile hit the roof of the gym, and fell back down again. Totodile had his eyes closed. Had he fainted?
    Totodile opened his eyes a little and saw Erick, his new master. Erick was staring at totodile, with a distressed look on his face. Erick was feeling bad for Totodile. Erick was close to tears for what he had done to him. Totodile saw that his new master wasn't going to be cruel to him as his old one had. Totodile remembered David kicking him, and Hitmonchan punching David again. But Erick would never hurt him. Totodile saw that this trainer really cared. This gave Totodile new motivation. Totodile opened his eyes, and forced himself up, ready to face Kirlia.
    Erick jumped up, smiling. Tanishi sighed. Suddenly a new move appeared on the Pokedex, on Totodile's move list. Water spin. Erick smiled.
    "Totodile, water spin!"
    Totodile had barely heard the command, when he leaped in the air, and started to spin around and around. Water formed around him, and became a tornado of water, with Totodile spinning round in the middle. The tornado approached Kirlia quickly, and swept her up in the water. She span round, and round, and round, before being thrust out onto the ground. She was slammed against the ground, her eyes closed. Totodile fell to the ground, very worn out, but Kirlia had nearly fainted.
    Tanishi didn't seem to very bored anymore. His jaw hung open.
    "Kirlia, use phyconetik powers"
    Kirlia's body glowed a faded red, before Totodile was lifted into the air, before being dropped a couple of centimeters. It wasn't a very good attack.
    "Totodile, water gun!" Erick said.
    Totodile opened his mouth, and water flooded out, and swept over Kirlia. When the attack ended, Kirlia had fainted. Tanishi closed his eyes, keeping down a load of rage.
    He reached in a bag, and got out a badge. He threw it behind his shoulder, and Erick caught it. It was a badge. (attachment) He looked at it proudly, before leaving. Totodile followed. Erick thrusted Totodile up onto his shoulder, and let ponyta out.
    "We have a badge!" Erick said happily. Totodile showed his enthusiasama by dancing on Erick's shoulder. Erick laughed. Totodile was great. He was not only a pokemon, but a freind, as was FireGem. He hugged Totodile, as Ponyta raced ahead happily. It was the start of a great adventure...
     
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    Chapter six: Tears

    Note: The diffrent languages that people in this chapter happen to be are conincedencal, and not meant to be offensive.

    After a quick drop by the Pokemon centre (Erick was still amazed at how it was free) Erick looked at his map. From Firity city, there was a small route, then there was Adarkmor twon. Famous for it's dark type Pokemon. Erick carried on inspecting his map when suddenly Totodile leaped off of his shoulder, and started to run. Totodile laughed happily as Erick chased after him. Erick smiled at the playfulness of Totodile. Ponyta offered to ply as well, bending down to allow Erick to mount him. Erick got on FireGem, and they raced after Totodile, laughing in glee. Ponyta gained speed, and Totodile did too, suddenly taking a turn, as did Ponyta. But then, a large shadow came over them. They looked up to see a zeppelin. From the zeppelin, green balls were shot into the forest, and smoke went everywhere. Erick couldn't see a thing. Terrified, Totodile ran wildly, hoping that Erick would follow. He ran through mud and leaves, running away from the smoke. Ponyta reeled up on his hind legs, looking round. Many Pokemon ran out of the forest also scared. The people in the zeppelin looked down, seeing Pokemon running wildly. After two minutes, the smoke cleared, and many Pokemon had ran out, although some Pokemon had stood there ground. Erick stroked FireGem, seeing he was alright. Then Erick looked round for Totodile, but couldn't find him.
    "Toodile!" He screamed, but there was no answer.
    Erick's heart started to beat rapidly, he looked round, but couldn't find Totodile.

    Totodile sat curled up in a ball, freezing cold in a clearing, wandering where his master was. The cold wind beat against his skin. Why had his master gone? The only master that loved him had vanished. Totodile began to sob...

    Tears came into Erick's eyes. Ponyta was angry. His eyes, went a red colour. Pokemon rage, is not a good thing. Erick looked at the zepplin and saw two members of Team ?bel, an evil team from Euroupe. They were newly established, the first thing they did was attack the Portugese Pokemon Competi??o, the Portugese equivilant to the Pokemon League, with smoke bombs. They captured three precious Pokemon, before dissapearing. Now this. Erick remembered Totodile's smiling face, his playfullness, the way he beat the last gym leader. These were going to pay. The two men looked down at the boy.
    "Aussehen, der Babytrainer sieht aus, wie er ungef?hr ist, zu weinen" One said in a sarcastic tone.
    "Werden Sie Babytrainer weinen? Werden wir Sie einige S??igkeiten erhalten, es alle besser zu machen?" The other shouted down to Erick, before they both burst out laughing.
    Erick didn't understand what language they were speaking, but it didn't take a genius to work out that they were making fun of him. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, and said
    "Ponyta, ember!"
    Ponyta spat fire at the zeppelin, and it hit, and the two people leaped out of it, before it exploded in midair. The flames went everywhere, and Erick stared at it. The two members of the team landed on there feet. There entire outfit was a black colour, and there hair was dyed pink.
    "I'm going to kill you, you bas*****" Erick screamed, clenching his fist.
    "K?mpfen Sie mit Ihnen sind Pokemon, nicht Sie sind F?uste" One said, shaking his finger at Erick, before reaching for his Pokeball.
    Erick figured out he was challenging him to a Pokemon battle, and Ponyta stepped out.
    "Gehen Sie Pidgeot!" One said, and a Pidgeot came out of the Pokeball, that Erick noticed was black with red stripes.
    The Pidgeot soared into the sky ready to battle.
    "Wirbelwind" The trainer said, and the Pidgeot flapped it's wings.
    But FireGem stood his ground, even though the winds were great. Erick saw that it was a whirlwind atack.
    "Ponyta, use galloping kick!" Erick said, after noticing that the Pidgeot had flew to the ground.
    Ponyta raced towards the Pidgeot,, andt hen turned at the last second and kicked at Pidgeot.
    "Pidgeot, Fliege" The trainer said.
    The Pidgeot quickly flew up into the air, making Ponyta's kick simply slice through mid-air. Ponyta looked up at the Pidgeot, who was now circling the skies.
    "Fliegenden Tropfen" The trainer said, and Pidgeot soared down, and his talons came out. But Ponyta saw what Pidgeot was doing, and made his fires even hotter. Pidgeot's talons came down on the blazing heat, and Pidgeot screamed. Pidgeot fell back, and Erick took this oppurtunity to attack
    Suddenly, Erick's poke'dex beeped, and Erick opened it. He saw that Ponyta had learned flamethrower. Surprised, Erick said
    "Ponyta flamethrower!"
    Ponyta opened it's mouth and fire streamed out, and swept over Pidgeot. When the devastatting attack was over, Pidgeot had fainted. Erick then smiled in victory, but this win couldn't take away the pain for what they had done.
    "Dieser Trainer ist st?rker dann wir haben gedacht, lassen Sie uns gehen" One trainer said to the other, and they both dashed off.
    Erick slumped down onto the ground, and cried. Tears fell to the ground. One day, he would destroy that corporation. One day...
    He cried and cried. And, in that small clearing, many pokemon watched him. Pidgey's, rattata's, even a Charmander gathered round and saw him cry. They all stared, and closed there eyes in respect.
    One day, Erick thought, he would destroy them...
     
    It's really cool fan fiction!
     
    I like how you've put the German in. Very nice touch :D Did you use a translator or did you do it yourself? Anyways... it's a nice touch to put in. Since I find Europe is UU in terms of novels of all kind. I'm happy now XD As for the rest of the story, well it's progressing quite well. Like I said - a new team seems less cliched from the games Rocket/Magma/Aqua/whatever.

    There were times however when grammatical errors took charge. There were times when it switched from past to present and vice versa. It's best to stick with the past, due to the fact that this story is a reflection. There were also times when you ended speech with periods instead of commas.

    Also, the Articuno battle was also incredibly short. It would have been fine if it swept the Scyther away like it was nothing, but it took quite a while for it to faint... which makes Articuno seem weak, or the Scyther seem quite abnormally strong.

    Well... I hope you keep up the good work you're doing here. ^_^
     
    Well thanks, Mr cat dog. I thank you very much for you're compliments.

    As for the grammer >_< that's a real thing I have to work on, sorry.

    I meant for the scyther to be abnormally strong, since the trainer that was battling it was very powerful. Also, Articuno was a little weakened from the Rhydon and the Machamp, and I tried to put emphasis on the Articuno's power by saying that this trainer had 11 badges, and that the Articuno defeated both of his other Pokemon.

    Thanks for the comments about the new group. I was going to include another team, but I thought that many fics have done that already, so I added the diffrent language and a little background, to make it a bit more intresting. I'm glad you liked it.

    Thanks again for the review, as it really helps.
     
    Wow, thats good. Nice work, I hope I can do as well as you on my fan fic. The only thing that needs improvement is the pokemon battles, they are way too short. But overall its great i rate it a 8.5/10 because of the short battles.
     
    I agree with peekachoo, this fic is quite good. Will we read more
     
    Chapter seven: Adarkmor town

    Erick noticed that night was closing in. Brushing away tears, he began to set up his tent. When it was done, he recalled Ponyta, not wanting to leave him out in the rain. Erick got into his tent, and drifted into a sleep. He knew that Adarkmor town was near, after this short route.
    Erick awoke, and heard the rain outside. The weather reflected his mood. He was hungry, but he only felt one real emotion...
    ...Hate.
    Hate for the evil team that made a terrified Totodile run away, hate for a team who tried to sabotage the Porutgese Pokemon league, and hate for the team, who made him lose one of his best freinds. One day, he would kill them all. He clenched his fists, thinking about them. But, he shook it off, and went outside. The rain was coming down hard. He packed up his tent, and continued down the route. He saw a sign saying
    'Adarkmor town, right ahead'
    Twenty minutes later, he arrived, noticing how dark it was. A murkcrow flew over his head, catching up with a trainer. David. David turned around, noticing Erick.
    "So the baby made it to Adarkmor town, eh?" David said.
    Erick flashed his badge, and David was stunned.
    "You...you won? It must of been beginner's luck. Anyway, I have three Pokemon. How many have you got?" David said.
    "This isn't a good time" Erick said, gritting his teeth.
    "Why? Has the baby only got one?" David mocked.
    "Go ... away!" Erick screamed, shoving David into the street. David got up, and walked off, muttering about how pathetic Erick was.
    Erick's stomach rumbled again. He saw a resturant nearby, and went inside. He ordered a big breakfast, and some Poke'Food for FireGem. He ate silently. When he was done, he left. He walked over to the gym, rain pouring on his head.
    "I...I can't do it" He said. "I can't let anybody else get hurt. I might as well drop out of being a trainer"
    But, he argued to himself silently, I can still do it. What should I do?
    Erick needed to think it over to himself. He walked over to the Pokemon centre, and settled down on a seat, thoughts rushing through his head.
    What should I do? I can't carry on like this. I can't train Pokemon if I don't beleive in it.
    But, I may find mroe Pokemon. And one day...I could destroy team ?bel, and could find Totodile one day.

    Yes, he would. He would carry on training, and one day....he would destroy team ?bel, and be a master!
    Erick got up, and smiled slyfully.
    "I'm going to go get me a badge!" He said.
    "Really?" The girl next to him said. He nearly jumped out of his skin.
    "I heard all of what you were saying. That's so heartbreaking" The girl said.
    "I...I said all of that aloud?" He said, rather shocked.
    "Yes...and I'm so sorry about you're Totodile. It seems we started at the same time. Did you get a starter of Professor Wirong?" She asked.
    "Yes..yes I did!" Erick said.
    Erick took a look at the girl. She had long dark hair, and was very pretty.
    "Me too! I got a Magby!" The girl said, releasing a Magby.
    "I got a Ponyta!" Erick said, releasing FireGem. The two Pokemon looked at eachother.
    "Oh, I do hope you succed in getting you're Ponyta. And, I just saw you're badge, that must of been pretty impressive to defeat that gym leader" She said.
    "Thanks! Did you battle him?" Erick asked.
    "Yes, and I won...just" She said, laughing. "Have you met that David kid?" The girl said.
    "Yes" Erick replied. "I hate him"
    "Me too. But...he's my brother" The girl said.
    "How unfortunate" Erick said.
    The girl laughed. "Tell me about it"
    Suddenly, an Eevee burst out from the door, running from somebody.
    "Forget the stupid Pokemon" A trainer said outside.
    "I better get going. I need to win more badges! I'll see you at the Pokemon league! Nice meeting you!" The girl said, getting up and waving.
    "Bye! Nice meeting you as well!" Erick said.
    Erick had new confidence in himself. He was going to carry on. Then he looked at the Eevee. It settled on the table.
    "That's the third one this week!" The nurse said.
    "Really?" Erick said.
    "Yes. Evee's are common here, but they dont take to many people. And, the Evee's that do settle with a trainer, VERY rarely evolve into Espeon, because of how dark it is here, they need to be really happy to see that it is daytime, even with the darkness. Only one person has ever got an Espeon here, and that was months ago. They nearly always become Umbreon's" The nurse said.
    Erick took all of this in, and then outstretched his hand to the Eevee. The Eevee, sniffed Erick's hand. Erick saw the fur formation, and saw it was Female. The Eevee sensed caring in Erick, and jumped into his lap. Erick laughed.
    "Congratulations! It seems you have an Eevee!" The nurse said laughing.
    The evee lickede Erick's face. Erick stroked the Eevee, silently, and it fell asleep in his lap.
    30 minutes later, the Eevee awoke, and yawned. Erick decide to get up, and recalled Eevee into her Pokeball. Erick smiled. He had an Eevee! He went outside, noticing that the rain had stopped, but the darkness still hung over the town. He released his Poke'mon, not wanting them to get cramped inside those Pokeballs. They walked behind him, as he went in the general direction of the gym. Not many people were out. Suddenly, Erick heard something. Then, about six hondours jumped out, circling Erick and his two Pokemon. They growled and barked. Erick realised he was in danger, and threw his Pokeballs at Eevee and Ponyta, but a powerful Houndour used an ember attack to knock away the Poke'balls. They started barking at Erick, before using flamethrowers at Eevee and Ponyta. Erick blocked the attack, immense pain rushing over him. The Eevee and Ponyta saw that Erick was blocking the attack for them.
    Three Houndours leaped at Erick, biting and scratching but Erick threw them all off, but they leaped back at him. Erick screamed in pain, as blood rolled down his shoulder. Then, the other three leaped at him again, roaring. He fell to the ground, the six houndour's still attacking him. Eevee saw what the Houndour's were doing to her master, and how Erick cared for her. Eevee threw herself at the Houndour's, and they all turned to see her, and they closed in on her. She looked around desperatly, as the barking Houndours closed in on her. She used a quick attack, knocking them backwards, but they came back again. Eevee shook in fright, and Erick saw the Eevee, her little body shaking in terror. Then, Erick used all his might to stand up
    "Hey! It's not her you want, it's me, remember!" Erick said. They all turned round and attacked him again. Ponyta used a flamethrower, but the Houndour's simply absorbed it. Suddenly, a white light engulfed Eevee. Erick watched in amazement. She grew, and grew, and then the white cleared, and an Espeon stood in the place of Eevee. Erick gasped in amazement. Eevee's forehead glowed, and a powerful blast of energy sent the Houndour's running away barking in terror. They all scattered. Espeon walked towards Erick, and Erick hugged her. He stood up,
    "You two...are amazing" He said. "What you did, was heartwarming. Now..it's a whole new competition. We're going to be masters!" His two Pokemon did the closest they could to cheering. Erick took them into the Pokemon centre, and the nurse gasped.
    "You...you got an Espeon!?" She said in amazement.
    Erick told her about what happened, and she healed them immediately.
    "I think this is a sign. I see great things in you" She said. "Now, about those Houndour's...they are quite a problem. Or..used to be. You're amazing Espeon seems to have driven them away. I can only thank you...I dont know what to say..." She said
    "It's ok. Now, I'm going to go get me a badge!"
     
    Wow, I really like this chapter, I feel sad about Totodile, yet happy about Erick's Eevee evolving into Espeon. I think you just raised my rating to a 10!! Awsome work!! Keep it up!!
     
    A 10? Wow, I didn't think I did that good, but thanks. Thanks! I'll go read yours...again...
     
    Chapter eight: Tough luck

    Erick left the Pokemon centre, and released his pokemon. Yes, he was showing them off, but who cares? He was about to win another badge anyway. He was the one who cleared the town of the Houndours. He would easily defeat this gym leader. He beat the last one didn't he? He winced, he remembered Totodile, before pushing him out of his head. He was about to win another badge, there was no point in greiving right now. His Espeon and Ponyta followed behind him, Ponyta's flames burning brightly, and Espeon's energy nearly glowing from her. People were pointing and congratulating him. Erick smiled. Word about him was spreading. Erick walked along the road, smiling at the people looking at him. His Pokemon rolled there eyes at the almost humiliating process. Ponyta got his Pokeball by banging his head against Erick's belt, before leaping into it. Espeon did the same. Erick wandered what they were doing, but kept his cool and carried on walking, latching his Pokeballs onto his belt. He saw the gym ahead, and noticed it's odd colour. Normally they were a plain white colour, but this gym was jet black, with lightning strikes painted across it. Erick shuddered just looking at it. But, Erick shook it off. He had already got one badge, and since then he had received some experience. This battle would be a breeze. Besides, all he had to do was order his Pokemon to do things for him. He could just lean back and let them do all the work and win for him. He entered the gym and saw a waiting room, like the one in the last gym. There was a woman there, who told him to step right into the main room. He crossed the room, and opened the door. It was completely dark. He almost turned around and ran out the gym, but shook it off again. This was a set-up. It was made like this to intimidate him. He took his first step into the gym, and felt a floor underneath him.
    "Hello?" He called out.
    Suddenly, freezing cold hands touched his shoulders. Erick shotued in fright and turned round, and could make out a pair of eyes, that soon dissapeared. He was terrified. But, he needed to get into shape. This was a gym, not a haunted house.
    "I challenge y-you to a g-gym battle" He said to the gym leader, even though Erick couldn't see him. Suddenly a spotlight shone on a patch of darkness, and it lit up a figure. He had short dark hair, and a smile on his face.
    "I accept you're challenge. A 2 on 2. Ready?"
    "Yes" Erick said, as he covered his eyes when a spotlight shone on him. The middle of the room was lit up, and it seemed to be where the Pokemon fought. Erick grabbed his Pokeball.
    "Go Espeon!" He said.
    He threw his Pokeball into the spotlight, and out came Espeon. Two black transparent hands touched Espeon's delicate pink fur.
    "Espeon, Espeon!" Espeon screeched, and whatever it was glided away.
    The gym leader laughed, before reaching for a Pokeball.
    "Go Umbreon!" He said, and Umbreon came out of his pokeball.
    Espeon and Umbreon stared at each other. They were so diffrent, yet so alike. Erick stared at the two, and quickly checked his Pokedex.
    "Espeon, use confusion!" Erick said.
    Espeon's body glowed a blue colour, and Espeon prepared to use a confusion attack.
    "Umbreon, use protect" The gym leader said.
    A sheild came around Umbreon's body, as the blast went everywhere. But, Umbreon was protected by a sheild of dark matter.
    "Umbreon, use ancient power" The gym leader said, amused with Espeon's struggles.
    Umbreon released a blast of energy, much like Espeon's confusion, but seemingly darker. It swept over Espeon in a giant wave of energy. When the attack was over, Espeon lay on the floor, bruises all over her.
    "Come on Espeon! Use physic!" Erick said desperatly.
    Espeon's body glowed a little, but nothing happened. Espeon seemed to weak to battle.
    "Umbreon, use hyper beam!" The gym leader said, nearly laughing at Espeon's suffering.
    Umbreon powered up, opening his mouth, and a glow formed in his mouth.
    "Espeon, use teleport!" Erick said, angry at Espeon for not trying.
    Espeon's body was englufed in a glow, but she only flickered, not managing to teleport properly. Umbreon's hyper beam came at Espeon, and she was blasted out of the spotlight of the arena. There was a thud heard as her body hit the wall. Espeon weakly walked over to the spotlight, before collapsing. She had fainted.
    Erick swore. He couldn't beleive Espeon hadn't won. He recalled Espeon, and grabbed Ponyta's pokeball. Ponyta was his last hope.
    He threw the pokeball, and Ponyta came out, ready to battle.
    "Ponyta, use flamethrower" Erick said, hoping that Ponyta could win him the battle.
    Ponyta used a flamethrower, and the flames soared at Umbreon at an incredible speed. Erick thought he saw the gym leader say something but he couldn't hear over the sound of the flames, but Umbreon used agility and the attack missed. Umbreon ran to Ponyta's side quicker then the eye could see.
    "Umbreon, use faint attack!" The gym leader said.
    Umbreon started to glow with energy, then tackled into Ponyta, knocking Ponyta to the ground, and making him quite weak.
    "Umbreon, finish him off with hyper beam!" The gym leader said.
    "Ponyta, use flaming kick!" Erick said after checking his beeping Pokedex.
    Flames from Ponyta's mane engulfed Ponyta's leg, and Ponyta kicked at Umbreon, making Umbreon fall to the ground.
    "Umbreon, use quick attack!" The gym leader said after seeing that Ponyta had got up.
    Umbreon quickly knocked into Ponyta, but Ponyta regained his balance.
    "Ponyta, use flamethrower!" Erick said ignoring the fact that Ponyta was quite weak. He had to push him to the limit! Ponyta used another flamethrower, getting Umbreon in mid-air as he prepared to bash into Ponyta. Umbreon was knocked back and fell to the ground, and fainted. The gym leader re-called Umbreon. Erick looked for a sign of worry, but saw none cross his face. He did have one more Pokemon. Erick prayed that it wouldn't be too strong.
    "Go, Absol!" The gym leader said, throwing a pokeball.
    The Pokemon flew in mid-air staring at Ponyta. An evil smile crossed the Pokemon's face when it saw how weak Ponyta was.
    "Absol, use hidden power" The gym leader said, a slick smile crossing his face. Energy streamed from Absol, destroying the spotlights, and all that could be seen were Absol's red eyes. Power came from Absol's body and it hit Ponyta. Ponyta became weaker and weaker as the energy kept on coming. A toothy grin crossed Absol's face, as Ponyta fainted. Absol screeched in what sounded half like a laugh and half like a cry of victory. Erick recalled Ponyta, almost scared at the eerie cry of Absol. The gym leader chuckled in victory. Erick quickly recalled Ponyta and left the gym. He goti nto the ajoining room, happy to be out of that dark room. He couldn't beleive he had lost. He quickly went to the Pokemon centre.
     
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    Good stuff, I like the part about his pokemon getting irritated at him for bragging. Nice describtion of the gym(s). Can't wait for the rest of it!!
     
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