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*~LT's Poems~*

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity
    • 2,484
    Posts
    21
    Years
    This is a poem I decided to write on a school project, based off the book, "The life of Pi" where a 16 year old boy is lost at sea with various animals including a Royal Bengal Tiger, and a Zebra.... good book XD.

    Anyways, here's the poem, I chose the "short and sweet" approach, but I think that in this case it worked.

    Stuck without shelter,
    is the way it has to be.
    Not a bed, not a blanket, not even a seat.
    One day, I will die here alone,
    without leaving much but the skin on my bones.

    Knowing that I'm just going to suffer,
    I lay motionless, for the day till' its over.
    Over to rid me of this pain,
    over to end this helpess life in vein.

    I've given up my hopes for survival,
    I've accpeted my fate and let my madmess run wild.
    There is nothing more that I can do,
    I'll just lye here and wait for the moment of truth.
     
    Wow, that's really cool...and one book I should check out! XD
     
    LiquidThunder said:
    This is a poem I decided to write on a school project, based off the book, "The life of Pi" where a 16 year old boy is lost at sea with various animals including a Royal Bengal Tiger, and a Zebra.... good book XD.

    Anyways, here's the poem, I chose the "short and sweet" approach, but I think that in this case it worked.

    Stuck without shelter,
    is the way it has to be.
    Not a bed, not a blanket, not even a seat.
    One day, I will die here alone,
    without leaving much but the skin on my bones.

    Knowing that I'm just going to suffer,
    I lay motionless, for the day till' its over.
    Over to rid me of this pain,
    over to end this helpess life in vein.

    I've given up my hopes for survival,
    I've accpeted my fate and let my madmess run wild.
    There is nothing more that I can do,
    I'll just lye here and wait for the moment of truth.
    Click to expand...

    Awwws, that was a great poem, LT. I haven't read the book, but your poem is like a more spiritual form of the book's summary. XD I only saw two possible spelling errors:
    madmess-madness
    lye-lie (I know, it looks like the other form of "lie", but that's how it's spelled. XD)

    I think the poem ish really great, since I haven't read the book, I can't really rate it as well. But the poem ish really awsome anyways. ^o^

    ~Kelsey
     
    That was a good poem nice job.
     
    Thanks for the comments, and thanks for the spelling corrections Kelsey (I did it a few minutes before school, so I didn't really look over it). I gave it to my teacher, and he really seem to like it, so it all worked out in the end ^^'.
     
    Spelling errors are no big deal; I'm not trying to make anyone feel insignifigant or anything when I do that. ^^;; I just feel that helping people with a few minor spelling/grammar errors helps them in their writing a bit-as well as reviewing their poems. ^_____^ Keep up the great work, LT. ^o^

    ~Kelsey
     
    I've decided to put my poems in one thread, to reduce clutter around the Poetry forum.

    Here is a new one that I did a bit earlier today, its entitled "Rebel" and to reduce confusing of the meaning, its just about diffrent living styles aren't "normal" to other people.

    Rebel

    They call me rebellous,
    but don't know who I am.
    The close minded call me a non-confirmist,
    while the open minded call me a rebel.

    Just a menace to society,
    ignored by the public.
    Trying to live my way,
    unlike everyone else.

    But what am I doing wrong?
    I follow the rules, laws and regulations,
    but still I'm called "Diffrent" with the way I live.

    As long as I'm happy,
    is the only thing that matters.
    So if living my life makes me "Diffrent",
    then you should just call me, a "Rebel".
     
    That was great seriously.Somewhat I think of it as my life.
     
    LiquidThunder said:
    I've decided to put my poems in one thread, to reduce clutter around the Poetry forum.

    Here is a new one that I did a bit earlier today, its entitled "Rebel" and to reduce confusing of the meaning, its just about diffrent living styles aren't "normal" to other people.

    Rebel

    They call me rebellous,
    but don't know who I am.
    The close minded call me a non-confirmist,
    while the open minded call me a rebel.

    Just a menace to society,
    ignored by the public.
    Trying to live my way,
    unlike everyone else.

    But what am I doing wrong?
    I follow the rules, laws and regulations,
    but still I'm called "Diffrent" with the way I live.

    As long as I'm happy,
    is the only thing that matters.
    So if living my life makes me "Diffrent",
    then you should just call me, a "Rebel".
    Click to expand...

    Awwws, that one was really good Lance! I think it perfectly symbolizes how people are just trying to live out their life as best they can. Just doing what comes natural to them. But there are still people who seem to have a problem with it, they think of it as some sort of defect in that person's system.

    It's kind of like this Lifetime movie I saw. This young girl found out she was gay, but her mother wouldn't accept it. Her mother rejected her own daughter just because she was different from most. *punches the mom* XD

    Well, I only found one word you didn't spell correctly:
    diffrent = different

    Awsome job Lance, keep it up! *glomps*

    ~Kelsey
     
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