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Helooooo everybody! This is my fic Whirl Island Quest, a comedy journey fic. Not intended to be grandiose so if you're an 00ber serious reader, you prolly won't like it! Chapters a bit long, but are divided into parts! Enjoy your read!
A/N=This is the first chapter, but things will be A LOT better later on. There is a lot of explaining here so please bear with it because it is neccesary
Chapter One: A Typical Beginning
A fresh sea breeze drifted throughout the many streets of Cianwood, bringing a beautiful day with it after many days of fierce gale and constant downpours. The sun had absorbed most of the remnants of the storm, leaving the path clear for the aspiring travelers in the seaside city. In the top right corner of one of the many identical white houses, a teenage adolescent boy slept uneasily, having the typical original trainer "pokemon master" dream.
Deep within the chambers of his sub-conscious, he found himself at least four hundred miles away in Meltokio, the home to the Whirl Island Pokemon League Tournament. Nearly a thousand adolescents from all corners of the mountainous Johto Region came to the Whirl Islands for a taste of pokemon training and only the greatest ones made it to the final tournament, one of them being Brian Arganaut...
"Congratulations Brian Arganaut! You have overcome all the pokemon trainers of your age group with only seven pokemon at your hands and conquered the Whirl Island Pokemon League!" praised a beautiful middle aged woman with shockingly dark brown eyes.
The immense crowd of over twenty thousand people leaped to their feet and applauded madly, stamping and cheering for the winner of the legendary tournament. The champion named Brian accepted his trophy with glee and thrusted it high above his head, making the seemingly unsurpassable din explode in sound.
He had the clear appearance of a teen in his rising puberty. His deeply tanned face was rife with pink pustules and pimples that blended easily with his shoulder length shaggy red hair, and he towered nearly five feet ten inches high with the build of a runner. With one eye, he noticed how the Champion of Johto, Patricia Gonzales, looked down adoringly at him. Brian couldn't help but crack a small grin as everything he worked finally drew to close with this moment…
"Oh puh-lease. This is the biggest load of bullcrap I have ever seen since the moon landing!"
Brian turned his head back and forth swiftly, looking for the source of the rather rude comment. The eighty year old tournament coordinator had dozed off several minutes before, and Patricia remained on the spot with an unnaturally gleeful grin still glued on her dull, emotionless face.
"Up here ya freaking moron! Yeesh, if you can't even find the source of a voice how on Earth did you manage to beat eight drug addicted gym leaders and another eight dumbass tournament trainers to get this far?"
To Brian's horror, a large gaping hole had appeared in the center of his golden trophy and was the one spouting out all the horrid phrases. "Yes! Took you long enough moron!"
"What the heck is going on? Oh God, did Greg stuff coke in my hotel room's Oust?" Brian mumbled, glaring down at the yapping trophy that he had dropped. The trophy, though only possessing a large mouth, emitted a powerful aura of freshness as it continued to bully Brian.
"Coke? Puh-lease! Greg still snorts pepsi thinking that he is getting high off of the painful burning, sugary sensation in his nose. I can go years about that moron, but instead, let's focus on you! So, do tell, how does a complete idiotic, retarded, dumbass like yourself become the Champion of the Whirl Island Pokemon League? I suppose all of the MTV, hip hop music, and school vending machines are to blame…"
The crowd was still cheering blindly flailing their arms in the air and turning bright purple, serenely unaware of the mentally unstable winner conversing with his trophy. Brian's bushy eyebrows had shot off into his crimson hair and his mouth hung low, trying to comprehend the insane situation. "What the heck is going on! Trophies don't talk, I haven't even gone to the Whirl Islands yet… Wait, this a dream isn't this?"
"Obviously. Only a dream would be so farfetched as to let you of all people be the winner of any pokemon related thing. I am your sub conscious, and I am here to end this rib cracking dream of yours. You've been thinking non stop about your little retarded trip to the Whirl Islands all last week, so of course, I ended up manifesting this little scene without even knowing it. However, as soon as I found out what was going on, I had to put an end to it! I suppose you might make it to the fifth gym, but you'll NEVER get farther! So why give you--"
"You know? I really hope that you and my self esteem never get together. The results would be really disastrous.."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK? NEVER EVER INTERRUPT ME!"
Brian immediately stopped his response and glared down at the malicious trophy below. He never thought how horrible the factions of his brain could be. "Figures, only you would submit to the orders of a partially animate object… Anyway, since this is such a typical start of a pokemon journey, I suppose you're going to get advice from a million people, but let me be the first. Only twenty percent of all pokemon trainers make it to a tournament, the other eighty percent crash and BURN. They burn like little babies after being doused in gasoline and thrown into a furnace! They burn like...a big fire! And you are going to be among the eighty percent because, unlike the other twenty, you do not have your own TV show or fan fiction! And that's because you're a complete moron! I do hope you have a rather enjoyi.."
Brian had stopped listening to the mindless droning of his sub conscious and instead focused on a strange shape in the sky. The skies were turning gray and thunder clapped violently as a large bright yellow object hurtled through the air and stopped at the massive silver rim of the stadium. With a bright flash of lightning, the great yellow object revealed itself as a giant floating banana.
"Oh no! The giant floating banana… that means that this whole thing is really just a dream…"
"NO! DON'T WAKE UP! I HAVE YET TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH!"
The dream world was slowly slipping away from Brian's sight and blurred away as the face of his sheepish mother came to view. Soon, out of the corner of his eye all he could see was a massive black void with only the bright yellow banana in view, glowing strangely bright as it began to form into something else… It was definitely not a banana…
"WAKE UP!!!"
At last, the boy named Brian snapped back into the painful reality that was his life. He only bore a small resemblance to his dream version; he was barely five foot five while his hair was cropped neatly and acne had yet to sprout on his face. He tried to recall the strange dream he had just had, but it slipped away as quickly as he came. Brian was back in his dull white-walled room while his sheepish mother prodded him with her finger repeatedly, struggling to remain awake herself.
Jolene Arganaut was the mirror image of her son with straight pink hair that fell to her shoulders and a very similar sheepish attitude that she passed down to her son. She belonged to the family of pokemon nurses known as the "Nurse Joys", that were all unnaturally cheerful and serenely aware of the fact that they all looked exactly alike. However, she was one of the rare occurrences in the bloodline with her own individual personality.
While all of her cousins, sisters, and brother-in-law's-best-friends-second-cousins-twice-removed-great-aunt's always managed to keep a cheery positive attitude even if they were in the middle of a desert with a Growlithe chewing away at their leg and someone brutally stabbing them in the chest, Jolene was a pessimistic strong woman who did not take too kindly to idiots and complete morons.
"Ehh, give me another ten minutes Mom. I was up till three on X Box live…" Brian groaned as he sank back under his sheets.
"Do you realize that your little ferry is going to leave in ten minutes?"
"WHAT?" Brian immediately bolted up and turned to face his alarm clock which read '8:13 AM.' "Uhhh, I have another four hours! Today is the day I get out of this house and can go off with Jules and Greg to the Whirl Islands though, right?"
"Yes, so you better get this chapter going before the readers get bored with all the stale unoriginality!" Jolene exclaimed with her impatience growing.
"Chapter?"
"Chapter of your life! Come on Brian how dumb are you! You're the one who reads Tolstoy for fun!"
"But what about the whole reader thing?"
She ignored him and pointed to the bedroom door, with a furious demanding look on her face. Brian sighed and got out of his bed, grabbing the clothes left stashed on top of his drawer and headed to his bathroom at last. As soon as he slammed the door behind him, Jolene immediately slumped to the floor and fell asleep.
Before long, Brian found himself in the shower, musing over his future adventures as he began to return from his sleepy state. Nearly twelve years ago, a bill that was passing through the Grand Council of the Kanto-Johto land for many years finally came into action. The rules of underage pokemon training were completely rewritten, and the age of the handing out of pokemon licenses was raised from ten to eighteen! The basis of this great change was the fact of many injuries and pokemon negligence occurred from giving children that haven't even reached maturity the responsibilities that came with training pokemon.
Of course, there was great backlash and great support to this change. Famous and retired pokemon trainers were enraged over the government would change a tradition that lasted for thousands of years while soccer mothers were jubilant to know that their children would no longer receive bites from Rattata, bruises from Nidoran, and bloody decapitations from Scyther. After five years of intense debating and protesting, the leader of the Elite Four, Lance Sun, and the Grand Pokemon Champion, Patricia Gonzales, had managed to create an adolescent pokemon league in the Sevii Islands for thirteen year olds from Kanto and in the Whirl Islands for thirteen year olds from Johto.
This league would have eight gyms like the other pokemon leagues, two on each main island. However, they were not nearly as difficult as the main land gyms and were supposed to have their own individual twists. Once one gained eight badges, he or she would be able to progress to a final tournament which determined who trained their pokemon the best that year. Then they'd return home and keep the pokemon, or send it to the nearest professor until they turned eighteen.
In addition to the mini pokemon league, the true pokemon tournament of the Whirl Islands would be taking place this year. It was known as the "Whirl Cup", a water pokemon tournament held every three years in the main island, Red Rock Isle. Powerful water pokemon trainers from all corners of the globe would be coming to battle for the great title of "Water Pokemon Alpha Omega."
After he stopped thinking his long typical boring thoughts, he finally went downstairs after neatly tucking in his shirt and combing his thin red hair to one side. At the foot of the stairs, he was greeted with the sweet aroma of the saturated fat of bubbling bacon and the warm smile of his pokemon, Sunkern.
Back when Brian was but a wee little girly man, he found himself spending his spare time playing in the little patch of woods far back in Cianwood City. When he was eight, he came across a small, green striped yellow seed pokemon no bigger than soccer ball being attacked brutally by a small bird pokemon, Pidgey. Being the little indifferent child he was, Brian simply walked on, but after hearing the pitiful cries of the defenseless pokemon that was nearing death and looking straight into her shockingly adorable black eyes, all innocence fell, and the Pidgey soon paid with a flurry of stones.
It was typical clich?d start to a new friendship, Sunkern and Brian soon became inseparable after Brian brought the severely wounded plant pokemon to his mother's PokeCenter to be healed. Six years later, the two's friendship remained strong as ever and Sunkern defied the taunts of all RMTers by becoming an above average battler. Her hard shell proved to be a bit of a pain in her powerful tackle, and her special ability of absorbing enemies health was improved greatly after years of practice again Rattata.
"Hey Sunkern! Get a good nights sleep? Tis time for action buddy!" Brian muttered in a condescending voice, as if the pokemon was still a baby. Sunkern smiled sweetly as usual and leaped on to her trainer's right shoulder as they walked into the dining room to grab a bite of breakfast.
Inside the dining room was not only Brian's mother, Jolene, who was slowly eating a bowl of Total cereal, cringing every time she swallowed, but also his two greatest non-pokemon friends since Kindergarten, Greg and Julie. They were polar opposite fraternal twins who shared the same dirty blonde hair and large seafoam eyes.
"BRIAN! Ready go to the Whirl Islands?" Brian's female friend screeched as she leaped from her eggs and wrapped her arms tightly around the flustered boy, who weakly returned the hug.
Julie was a practical and sagacious teenage girl, who boasted being the only thirteen year old in Cianwood being under five feet after her brother, Greg's, growth spurt. Though she was an optimistic and cheerful girl the majority of the time, she was prone to violence, and despite her small stature, could easily knock out several Donphans in of her notorious tantrums.
"Ok! One-two-three LET HER GO BRIAN!" Greg roared angrily.
Julie must have inherited all the family shrewdness because Greg was one of the greatest loveable morons to ever walk the streets of Cianwood city. He wasn't too intelligent or strategic, but he was built pretty nicely since he spent most of his free time working out to look good for the ladies. Shortly after receiving his first stirrings, Greg soon became nefarious throughout all of town for being an extremely terrible flirt. Any pretty girl he sees, he would immediately jump in and begin complimenting her and then suggesting things leading to a nice kick where it hurts.
As soon as Brian released his hold of Julie (it was truly the other way around), Greg began to gorge on his plate of bacon once more with his right hand while he fixed his spiked blonde hair with the reflection on his spoon with his other hand. The two friends shrugged at each other at Greg's typical strange behavior and sat back in the table.
"Hi Brian, Greg and Julie got here a few minutes before, have some eggs and bac…err toast," Jolene said cheerfully, staring at Greg with a bit of anxiety as he took the last of the nearly twenty pieces of bacon for himself.
"Where's Slowpoke and Machop?" Brian asked the twins, who immediately responded by pointing to the room across from them. There in the kitchen were the two pokemon that belonged to his best friends: Machop and Slowpoke, eating their own meals.
Slowpoke was a hefty bright pink water bear pokemon with a two foot tail ending with a white band. Though he sounded like a pretty fierce and formidable opponent, he was actually one of the dumbest and worst pokemon to own. He had very little will to move his chunky legs and spent his spare time staring blankly into air for long periods, with his large mouth gaping wide open.
Many people wondered how Greg got stuck with such an incredibly incompetent pokemon that mirrored him so well. It all started when the poor idiotic boy was only seven years old and went with his family to the Whirl Islands to see the legendary Whirl Cup tournament. There he saw a beautiful water pokemon trainer by the name of "Misty" and immediately fell in love with her and wanted to be a water pokemon trainer just like her when he grew up. Julie claims that Greg's love for Misty is still alive and flaring. Ever since that Whirl Cup, Greg had become the world's biggest and worst flirt at the mere age of seven!
Unfortunately for him, his Great Aunt Matilda, who knew very little about pokemon, heard about little Gregory's dream of being a water pokemon trainer and bought him the second cheapest water pokemon she could find for his eight birthday, a newly born Slowpoke that was abandoned by its parents. From that day onwards, the two morons were stuck together, both sharing a strong dislike for each other. Mrs. and Mr. Carson refused to buy another pokemon and said that if Greg can't raise one of the hardest pokemon to raise properly, then he could never be a true pokemon trainer. Clearly, he wasn't a true pokemon tranier.
Machop was a much more competent pokemon that Slowpoke. Machop was a pokemon that sort of resembled a five year old kid—on steroids. He was completely grayish with a small tail and three fin like features on top of his head. He looked small and scrawny, but he could lift Greg in one hand and Julie on the other! The origins of Machop were similarly interesting, for he was actually originally intended for Brian.
Brian was born into the Arganauts, the biggest family of Fighting Pokemon trainers in all of Johto. His father, Marcus Arganaut, was a traveling fighting trainer and often gave lessons at dojos and schools about fighting pokemon. His younger brother Chuck had become the gym leader of the Cianwood City gym while his older brother Bruno received the highest honors and gained the second highest position in the Elite Four.
Being born into a family of fighting pokemon trainers, Brian was also expected to carry out the legacy, but instead shocked his entire family with the revelation that he would keep his Sunkern as his main pokemon, rather than the specially bred Machop his father had bought for him. Under Johto Pokemon Law 17-A, a child under the legal age of pokemon trainer could only possess one pokemon, though the family could still own a pokemon that would be intended for the child later on. However, Jolene refused to take in another pokemon in her house; it was already tough enough taking care of the three pokemon that already resided in her home, and Marcus couldn't take the Machop himself because then the pokemon would have no contact with Brian, defeating the purpose of Brian having his own fighting pokemon, so they ended up giving it to Brian's good friend Julie, who was the only one without a pokemon at the time.
"Brian? Brian? BRIAN STOP LOOKING AT THE POKEMON AND EAT ALREADY!" Jolene hollered, snapping her son back into reality.
"Huh? Oh sorry," Brian shrugged and started eating some eggs and toast himself while his Sunkern went to eat his good old sunlight with his pokemon friends. Everyone ate in silence for a few minute before Brian finally started a conversation . "I had the craziest dream this night. Where I--"
"Oh Brian honey, have you been having those dreams about the crazy clown chasing you on a giant Butterfree with a pair of sewing scissors again?" Jolene asked with a look of dear concern on her face as her son's face turned bright purple and the twin's faces looked up rather eagerly.
"Mom…please don't talk about that! No it was actually about--"
"Oh! I know! It was the Skitty gouging you eyes out! You should have heard him scream; I could have sworn I had a daughter!"
Greg and Julie grew steadily more and more purple as they struggled to hold in their laughter, even Sunkern was screwing her eyes tight and looked as if she was hiccupping. Brian decided to abandon the subject and went back to eating his toast, praying with all his might that his mother would not continue the subject of dreams. Jolene saw the look of deep embarrassment on her son's face and was determined to mend her mistake.
"Oh but it's not like Brian only has nightmares all night long! He has all sorts of dreams. You should have heard him in the nights after we went to Goldenrod City and saw the gym leader Whitney!" Jolene cried with glee, looking intently at the twins. Brian dropped his egg filled spoon immediately and began to twitch madly. The two twins looked up eagerly, knowing they struck gold at their best friend's expense.
"Oh really Mrs. Thomas? What exactly did my good buddy Brian say about that red head gym leader?" Greg asked the clueless mother, while secretly giving the magenta-faced Brian a "you go girl!" eye.
"Hmm, I'm not exactly sure what all he was saying, but I remember him going 'I love you Whitney!' and then 'Your so hawt!!!' and then for some reason, he started mooing…"
By the time Mrs. Arganaut started imitating Brian's alleged mooing, Greg and Julie could no longer hold in their amusement and let out a huge myrrh of laughter that brought tears to their eyes and shook the kitchen table rather violently as they struck it fiercely with their fists. Jolene gave her son a big thumbs up, still under the disillusion she redeemed herself, while he slowly banged his head against the kitchen table, in hopes that his brain would come loose, freeing him from the hell that was his mother's love.
After finishing the ruckus that was breakfast, the trio gathered their pokemon and was ready to leave the house and go and visit the gym leader Chuck, who supposedly had a surprise for their journey. Unfortunately, the two greatest idiots in the group ran across some problems trying to leave the house.
"COME ON YOU STUPID LUMMOX GET YOUR FAT BEHIND OFF THE FLOOR AND GET A MOVE ON IT!" Greg screeched as he repeatedly kicked the bear pokemon in its side, trying to get the dimwitted pokemon out of his usual nine o clock daydream. "AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN EAT YOUR REMORAID AND BITS! GAAH YOU STUPID POKEMON!" Greg grabbed a handful of the food in Slowpoke's bowl and shoved it inside the water pokemon's wide gaping mouth before storming out in a fit of rage.
When Greg was out of sight, and Brian, Julie, and their pokemon looked at each other awkwardly, Slowpoke finally began slowly munching his food and started to drag his legs slowly toward the door. There was positively no way to understand what went on in that eccentric pokemon's large head. At last, the three had finally escaped the house (after much hugs and kisses to Brian from his mother) and were on their way to Brian's uncle, Chuck's, gym.
As soon as the trio was about three blocks away from Brian's home, Greg immediately stopped Brian by his shoulder and pulled his neatly tucked shirt out of his pants and messed up his neatly combed hair to give him a somewhat rugged look. "BRIAN! STOP LOOKING LIKE SUCH A FREAKING NERD! How are you going to get them hos looking like some mini lawyer?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HO?" Julie screeched, grasping Greg tightly by the throat and pinning him up against the nearest house, her seafoam eyes vibrating madly. Brian stared at the two uncomfortably while gently trying to fix his hair. The same argument had happened between the three for a while on where Brian should fit in the social spectrum.
Greg fit with the "stupid pretty boy" group, Julie fit with the "feminist intelligent female" group, but Brian didn't really fit anywhere! He was definitely a smart one and a black belt in karate (though he didn't want to raise fighting pokemon, that didn't mean he wasn't a formidable opponent). From his very origins in middle school, Brian had never really gone to any groups and just stuck with having Greg and Julie and best friends and several other friends from all different parts of the social spectrum. Basically, he managed to retain his Elementary mindset of open friendship, setting him apart from thousands of other teenagers all over Johto.
"Brian, you're perfectly fine the way you are. If you ever be like Greg, I promise that I will kill you. Slowly and painfully," Julie smiled cheerfully, after throwing Greg down on the pavement. Brian stuttered, at loss for words when Greg struggled to stand and began speaking.
"Oh puh-lease, are you trying to make Brian a girly man whose going to grow up to be a 'stapistics analist' who never got a woman and has to end up getting a mail-order wife from Bolivia! Hmm, then again, some Bolivian women are pretty hot…"
"SHUT UP GREG! Brian, take it from a woman, plenty of girls are a lot more interested than you than my dearest brother! In fact, I remember some girls even said they had a bit of a crush on you!" Julie declared with a rather excessive broad grin. At her last statement, Greg's mouth fell down, and Brian's eyes grew rather large.
"Really? Who liked me?" Brian asked curiously, attempting with all his might to hide his glee. At this question, Julie's eyes began to widen, and she began to flush a rather light shade of pink as she slowly twisted the ends of her long blonde hair trying to think of a quick response.
"Errm, it was that one Ma..no she…well…actually…that Hoenn…you know what? We really need to go to the Cianwood Gym! It's already 9:30 and who knows how long Chuck wants us? Let's go off to our adventures!" Julie gave her legendary bright smile and skipped on ahead while the guys just shrugged at each other.
"Sunkern Sunkern (Has it occurred to you that humans can be very strange)?" the seed pokemon asked Julie's Machop in utter confusion at the events that just followed.
"Machop Chop Chop (That's because they're brainses aren't nearly as developed as us pokemon'ses brainses)!"the fighting pokemon said in response.
"Slowpoke poke poke (I like tater tots)…"
The rest of the fifteen minute walk to the gym was done in silence, the situation that was started by Greg left them all feeling awkward and Greg wondering what it would be like to have a Bolivian wife…
Finally, they arrived at the most famous building of Cianwood City, the Cianwood Fighting Gym. On the outside, it was a great clash of Japanese architecture and beautifully positioned arches forming a great one story building that released the powerful aura of mysticism. Several beautiful wood chimes hung from the door archway and swayed softly in the breeze, and situated above it was a wooden carving of a giant flaming fist.
When they entered inside, the mystic feel had not gone away quite yet. The wooden ceiling arched high above, looking so fragile yet intricate as if a single ember would make the whole thing burst into flames and cause the whole gym to collapse. The floor was smooth and shiny, except for the rocky battlefield in the very center. The light ninja battle tune that came from the hidden speakers was easily heard as the gym was nearly empty, except for the motherly figure that was trekking from across the field to meet the children.
Her name was Sarah Arganaut, the wife of the gym leader Chuck Arganaut, and she was the world's most caring woman, always baking the children her famous cookies and always assisting the community and volunteering since she didn't have a job. She was a very beautiful woman with a cascade of straight black hair and sparkling blue eyes, and her beauty was only intensified in the kimonos she fashioned.
"Hello children…or should I say teenagers. Ho ho…that was funny, I called you guys teenagers since you guys are now going to…errm, anyway, Chuck is waiting in his office for you! If you look closely, you'll see that Atkins diet I ordered for him is finally working!" Sarah told the kids, pointing to a room crammed all the way back in the corner.
"Do you have any cookies Mrs. Arga--AH AH AH! NEVER MIND!" Greg started before Julie started to twist his ear painfully dragging him off to Chuck's office. Sarah didn't know what to say and just went off to kitchen while the children finally went to see Chuck.
Unlike most offices which consisted of a chairs, a big desk, and a few plants and paintings, Chuck's office was full of different weight lifting stations from bench presses to squats to treadmills, even though there were two other weight lifting rooms in the gym. Machop looked nervously at the punching bag, getting the strong urge to practice his punching skills. In the very corner, there was a small work desk with a computer and phone attached. Chuck was at the desk, wearing his unusually thick glasses and filling out complicated looking forms rather quickly. He looked up at the adolescents who immediately jumped back at the bespectacled Chuck.
"Hello Mr. Arganaut! Can Machop use the punching bag please? He didn't get his normal five days of training at your gym this week," Julie asked, pointing at her jittery pokemon.
"Oh hey kids! Call me Chuck Julie! And of course Machop can use my weights. Errm, you three have a seat…I'm going to get something!" Chuck mumbled quickly as he tore off his glasses and stormed out of the room. Machop immediately went off to the punching bag and began assaulting it. The trio looked around for something they could use as a seat since there was no room for chairs. They ended up sharing one of the bench press benches before Chuck returned carrying a small box with him.
Chuck was like a second father to Brian since his own father was constantly away on work and always taught him important lessons and even was his sensei when he was training in Karate. He was a very powerful but clumsy man with a prominent split moustache. Though his arms and legs were built powerfully and he had the built of a wrestler, Chuck was quite the chubby one, though his diet was having some effect.
He placed the box down and began to rummage through the box before pulling out a tiny electronic device only the size of a cellular phone. It was bright red and had a clear screen in the center with several buttons below it and a tiny stylus to go with it. Chuck pressed a tiny, barely visible button on the back of the strange device, and a voice suddenly boomed out of it.
"HELLO USER. I AM THE I-POKEDEX MINI! I SERVE AS AN ELECTRONIC POKEMON ENCYLOPEDIA THAT WILL GIVE YOU ALL SORTS OF INFORMATION ABOUT A POKEMON! PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND GENDER!"
The trio raised their eyebrows at the abilities of this tiny device and didn't know what to say. Suddenly, Chuck ran toward them and shoved the "I-Poke" in front of Greg's mouth. Greg did not know what to do and leaned back, as if the machine was a slimy Weedle. "Psst…state your name and gender!" Chuck hissed from behind the I-Poke Mini.
"Umm Greg Carson, Female…NO MALE MALE MALE!"
"HELLO MRS. UMMGREG CARSON! PLEASE GO TO MY SETTINGS SCREEN TO CHANGE MY SETTINGS."
"This is the newest innovation in the Pokedex line! Last year we had the I-Poke which could fit in your smallest pockets and had nearly five hundred skins and could hold information on 400 pokemon! But this year, we have the I-Poke Mini which can fit neatly in the lining of your underwear and has a thousand skins and can hold information on 5000 pokemon!" Chuck announced in a strangely monotone and rehearsed voice.
"Umm Uncle Chuck, who would want to keep their Poke in their undergarments?" Brian asked with a look of deep confusion at the I-Poke Mini.
"And last time I checked, Chuck, there was only three hundred eighty pokemon, not five thousand?" Julie muttered, holding back her annoyance at the idiocy of this so called technology innovation.
"That thing is so easy to lose! I'd end up putting it in my laundry!" Greg cried.
"QUITE! THIS IS A TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATION!" Chuck screamed, taking everyone by surprise. His crimson face soon returned to normal, looking rather embarrassed for his previous outburst. "Err, so anyway the I-Poke Mini was presented at the Spring Gym Leader conference, and I said I knew two very responsible adolescents who were about to go to the Pokemon League on the Whirl Islands and a third adolescent who could receive a prototype to see if the more slower children could easily operate the device. So, instead of that obsolete I-Poke, you three shall receive the I-Poke Mini as prototype testers! Let me demonstrate on your Machop, Julie!"
Chuck pointed Urrgreg's I-Poke at Machop and pressed a red button, causing the tiny bulb at the tip of the device to glow brightly and pause for a few seconds.
"MACHOP-THE FIGHTING POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PREVOLVED POKEMON AND IS CAPABLE OF LIFTING ONE HUNDRED TIMES THEIR OWN WEIGHT. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 15 AND KNOWS LOW KICK, KARATE CHOP, FOCUS ENERGY, AND LEER!"
"Great! One down….four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine more pokemon to go!" Greg exclaimed sarcastically, causing Chuck to scowl and point the I-Poke at Slowpoke as well.
"SLOWPOKE- THE WATER/PSYCHIC POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS ONE OF THE MOST DIMWITTED POKEMON AND EXTREMELY INRESPONSIVE. IT TAKES A VERY SKILLED TRAINER TO BRING OUT ITS HIDDEN POWER. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 5 AND KNOWS WATER GUN, CURSE, AND TACKLE!"
Brian and Julie immediately guffawed at Greg's humiliation before Chuck pointed the I-Poke at Sunkern.
"SUNKERN- THE GRASS POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS VERY FRAGILE AND EASILY DEFEATED. ITS PRIMARY WAY OF ATTACKING ITS OPPONENT IS BY ABSORBING ITS ENERGY. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 16 AND KNOWS ABSORB, MEGA DRAIN, AND GROWTH!"
"Pssh, very fragile and easily developed? Not my Sunkern! We'll prove that stupid I-Poke wrong, right Sunkern?" Brian asked his grass pokemon, giving her a hard slap in the back. Sunkern was immediately shot into the air from the bench, struck Chuck's hard desk rather fiercely, and slid down to lay face down in the dirty carpeted floor.
"Sunkern kern kern (Why didn't you just get a shiny Larvitar like everybody else)…"
"I've got cookies! And Miltank jerky for my Atkins man!" Sarah exclaimed as she walked right in the room carrying a plate of food, before they people in the room could commence to laugh at Sunkern and Brian. The trio was more than happy to take the cookies while Chuck politely refused the Miltank jerkey, not being able to take another bite of meat. "I see Chuck has given you the I-Pokes! Are they, as you kids say, totally
rad!"
The three immediately stopped half way through their cookies and looked up at the horrifying site of a middle age woman saying an extinct teenage phrase. After several seconds of silence, Greg was the one who finally broke the silence. "Dude, that like totally died out around the Middle Ages, fo'shizzle!"
"Tell me Mrs. Sarah, can you name five thousand pokemon?" Brian asked the totally rad woman. Julie nodded vigorously in agreement while Chuck let out a groan of exasperation.
"Umm, I can do this! I got an A- in Pokemon Studies! Umm Caterpie, Sunkern, uuhhh Poliwrath, ummm Wobbuffet, Jynx…." Sarah began to recite, with her eyes screwed tight in concentration as she attempted to recall the names of all five thousand pokemon. Brian and Julie looked at each other nervously; they didn't think she'd actually try.
She continued on naming random pokemon names for another five minutes before Chuck whispered to them quietly that it was best they went off and wished them good luck on their pokemon journey, giving them all individual hugs and handing them their I-pokes, while Sarah still managed to recite random pokemon names, completely indifferent to what happened around her.
As soon as they got out of the office, they broke out in a sprint to get away from the two very strange adults and there magical technology.
"That was weird… But hey, I suppose it's not bad to get these I-Poke Minis for free. Normally, you have to pay a hundred dollars for one!" Julie commented as she looked at her new I-Poke Mini and showed it to her Machop as well.
"Hmmph, I'll show that stupid voice! I am an extremely skilled trainer, and my Slowpoke will be the most powerful thing in the history of the world! Even more powerful than that Misty's Corsola…oh Misty how much I'd love for you too…errm give me advice on water pokemon training!" Greg rambled on, before being rudely snapped back to reality by the greedy looks on his best friend and sister's face at the hint that he truly still did love Misty.
"Hey Julie, Greg and I definitely know what we're going to do. Greg is going to compete in the Whirl Cup, if he even manages to catch another water pokemon, and I'm going to get those badges and compete in the end of the year tournament. You decided yet?" Brian asked.
Julie did not answer immediately, instead she paused for a moment and was deep in thought as reflected by the strange glimmer in her seafoam eyes as she tied her long hair in a ponytail. "Well, I do love an occasional battle but don't want to spend my entire year just training my pokemon for battle! Maybe I'll go and see what pokemon occupation I want to do when I grow up…and perhaps train my pokemon to beat that awful Sally!"
She made a rather ugly face at the word Sally, for Sally was one of the Pecunia Triplets. The Pecunians were a very rich family with a giant mansion in the far end of Cianwood as well as a sea cabin. They had a set of triplets containing three snobby daughters: Sally, Grace, and Jean. They always wore fancy dresses and bragged about their surplus of material things in school. Sally and Julie were horrible enemies ever since Kindergarten, but that story is for another time…
Brian and Greg chuckled at her last statement and the three decided to head back to their own homes, get their stuff, and meet back up in the Cianwood Port to wait for the Ferry to come at last. After a few blocks, they parted ways. Brian looked around him and for the first time in a while he appreciated the beauty of his city that he would be separated from for an entire year.
Over to the far right was a giant beach that stretched all through out the shore with many ferries, fisherman, swimmers, and just people having fun at the beach. At the other side was a large city with beautiful white houses and a pokemon center. The entire city consisted of fifty streets and over one thousand houses. The sun always shined brightly overhead the city and the air was always salty with the taste of the Johto Sea; it truly was a spectacular place, but Brian anticipated even more the beautiful conditions and streets of the Whirl Islands that he waited nearly thirteen years for.
Upon reaching his home, he saw his mother waiting patiently on the porch with Brian's packed travel pack hanging limply at her side. Besides her was a large praying mantis pokemon with large scythes for arms, a Scyther known as "Slissy". Jolene's normally peachy and bright face was wet with the stains of tears. Because Marcus Arganaut was always gone in work, her son was all she had and now he would be gone too. They looked at each other silently for a few minutes before Jolene finally cracked and leaped to wrap her arms around her son and planting fierce kisses on his cheeks.
"Oh Son! I'm going to miss you so much! Even though it is only a year, I'm still going to miss you so badly! I have your bag packed with all necessary things you need, including ten sticks of Old Spice deodorant!"
"You got me Old Spice deodorant mother? Wow Mom, you really do care about me!" Brian interrupted.
"Yes, Old Spice deodorant is made with a powerful substance that has the force to eliminate and prevent powerful odors of the sweat gland; even a Muk will smell good with a nice application of Old Spice!"
"So, if a mother truly cares about her Son, she will buy him Old Spice deodorant?"
"Yes, because those cheap mothers who buy the one dollar store brand crap are also the tramps with seven crack addicted babies you see living in trailers in Alabama! So, unless you want to be a trashy woman living in a trailer with seven crack addicted babies, hurry up to your nearest drug store and pick up as many Old Spice deodorants as you can for the low price of 3.99!" Jolene exclaimed, pulling a stick of Old Spice deodorant from her pocket turning around and giving a strangely wide grin to the air in front of her.
"Scyther Scyther Scythe (What the heck was that! Humans…)" Slissy commented as she watched the two humans acting very strangely from her hedge cutting.
"Anyways, if you need anything, be sure to call me! Remember PokeCenters offer free meals, so don't be a Pecunia and save your money! Oh, Sunkern you be a good plant and protect Brian," Mrs. Thomas mumbled with tears pouring down her cheeks.
"Mom…"
"OH SON!"
She gave Brian a rib cracking hug and splattered his face with kisses again as he put on his pack. Sunkern was screwing her eyes tightly, attempting for the one too manieth time to control her laughter.
"I'll miss you too Mom, but can you please loosen your grip," Brian struggled to say. Slissy, who was about as close to Brian as Sunkern, turned away and crossed her scythes with a few tears growing in her eyes. "Oh Slissy! You know I'll miss you the most!"
The bug pokemon turned back smiling and raised her scythes in preparation for an enormous hug. "AHHHHHH!" Brian screamed as he ran as fast as he could away from the sharp scythes and toward the port nearly toppling Sunkern off of his shoulder.
When he finally reached the port, he found Greg and Julie already waiting there along with about fifty other adolescents and their pokemon waiting impatiently for the ferry to come anytime soon, even though they still had about another hour and a half. As he walked toward his best friends, many people gave him funny looks since he had lipstick plastered all over his cheeks and was panting rather heavily. The trio sat down on the rocks and played several games of Gin Rummy with a few other friends before the ferry finally approached the port.
As the ship finally drew closer, the crowd murmured and gasped in great interest at the ferry. It was nothing like a ferry; it was more like a cruise ship! Within an hour, the ship anchored at the dock and the door opened as a small man with glasses holding a piece of paper came out along with several sailors. They explained the rules and regulations of the expected ship behavior (which even Julie didn't listen to). More people were focused on the majesty that was the S.S. Mantine! It was nowhere the size of a regular ship but was still rather large and shared the same volume as two houses. The white and black paint shined brightly in the sun and many bulbs decorated the intricate railing that traveled around the perimeter of the boat. They saw a few windows scattered sporadically around the side of the boat and couldn't wait to see what lay inside the majestic boat.
The small man with the piece of paper began to speak himself. "Alright, get settled down. This boat ride is expected to last four hours on route to Olivine City and then another four hours to the Whirl Islands from there. I will name the names of those who registered to go on this journey in alphabetical order, and when your name is called out, I need you to come to me, show me your ID, and then you may come aboard the S.S. Mantine! Alright….Reddy Alibaster, Brian Arganaut, Lewis Badeyes, Adam Britannia, Greg Carson, Julie Carson, Billy Coors…"
Brian and the twins pulled out their Pokemon IDs, gave each other big grins, and walked toward the ship to a new land, to a new adventure, to a new period in their lives that they would never forget as long as they lived.
...This chapter was brought to you by Old Spice Deodorant and Apple Computers. Remember, if you don't want to be outstyled crack addicted Alabama trailer trash, then use our products!
End Notes: If you want to be a permanent reviewer/reader and want to be contacted when there is a new chapter, please tell me in your review or PM me
A/N=This is the first chapter, but things will be A LOT better later on. There is a lot of explaining here so please bear with it because it is neccesary
Chapter One: A Typical Beginning
A fresh sea breeze drifted throughout the many streets of Cianwood, bringing a beautiful day with it after many days of fierce gale and constant downpours. The sun had absorbed most of the remnants of the storm, leaving the path clear for the aspiring travelers in the seaside city. In the top right corner of one of the many identical white houses, a teenage adolescent boy slept uneasily, having the typical original trainer "pokemon master" dream.
Deep within the chambers of his sub-conscious, he found himself at least four hundred miles away in Meltokio, the home to the Whirl Island Pokemon League Tournament. Nearly a thousand adolescents from all corners of the mountainous Johto Region came to the Whirl Islands for a taste of pokemon training and only the greatest ones made it to the final tournament, one of them being Brian Arganaut...
"Congratulations Brian Arganaut! You have overcome all the pokemon trainers of your age group with only seven pokemon at your hands and conquered the Whirl Island Pokemon League!" praised a beautiful middle aged woman with shockingly dark brown eyes.
The immense crowd of over twenty thousand people leaped to their feet and applauded madly, stamping and cheering for the winner of the legendary tournament. The champion named Brian accepted his trophy with glee and thrusted it high above his head, making the seemingly unsurpassable din explode in sound.
He had the clear appearance of a teen in his rising puberty. His deeply tanned face was rife with pink pustules and pimples that blended easily with his shoulder length shaggy red hair, and he towered nearly five feet ten inches high with the build of a runner. With one eye, he noticed how the Champion of Johto, Patricia Gonzales, looked down adoringly at him. Brian couldn't help but crack a small grin as everything he worked finally drew to close with this moment…
"Oh puh-lease. This is the biggest load of bullcrap I have ever seen since the moon landing!"
Brian turned his head back and forth swiftly, looking for the source of the rather rude comment. The eighty year old tournament coordinator had dozed off several minutes before, and Patricia remained on the spot with an unnaturally gleeful grin still glued on her dull, emotionless face.
"Up here ya freaking moron! Yeesh, if you can't even find the source of a voice how on Earth did you manage to beat eight drug addicted gym leaders and another eight dumbass tournament trainers to get this far?"
To Brian's horror, a large gaping hole had appeared in the center of his golden trophy and was the one spouting out all the horrid phrases. "Yes! Took you long enough moron!"
"What the heck is going on? Oh God, did Greg stuff coke in my hotel room's Oust?" Brian mumbled, glaring down at the yapping trophy that he had dropped. The trophy, though only possessing a large mouth, emitted a powerful aura of freshness as it continued to bully Brian.
"Coke? Puh-lease! Greg still snorts pepsi thinking that he is getting high off of the painful burning, sugary sensation in his nose. I can go years about that moron, but instead, let's focus on you! So, do tell, how does a complete idiotic, retarded, dumbass like yourself become the Champion of the Whirl Island Pokemon League? I suppose all of the MTV, hip hop music, and school vending machines are to blame…"
The crowd was still cheering blindly flailing their arms in the air and turning bright purple, serenely unaware of the mentally unstable winner conversing with his trophy. Brian's bushy eyebrows had shot off into his crimson hair and his mouth hung low, trying to comprehend the insane situation. "What the heck is going on! Trophies don't talk, I haven't even gone to the Whirl Islands yet… Wait, this a dream isn't this?"
"Obviously. Only a dream would be so farfetched as to let you of all people be the winner of any pokemon related thing. I am your sub conscious, and I am here to end this rib cracking dream of yours. You've been thinking non stop about your little retarded trip to the Whirl Islands all last week, so of course, I ended up manifesting this little scene without even knowing it. However, as soon as I found out what was going on, I had to put an end to it! I suppose you might make it to the fifth gym, but you'll NEVER get farther! So why give you--"
"You know? I really hope that you and my self esteem never get together. The results would be really disastrous.."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK? NEVER EVER INTERRUPT ME!"
Brian immediately stopped his response and glared down at the malicious trophy below. He never thought how horrible the factions of his brain could be. "Figures, only you would submit to the orders of a partially animate object… Anyway, since this is such a typical start of a pokemon journey, I suppose you're going to get advice from a million people, but let me be the first. Only twenty percent of all pokemon trainers make it to a tournament, the other eighty percent crash and BURN. They burn like little babies after being doused in gasoline and thrown into a furnace! They burn like...a big fire! And you are going to be among the eighty percent because, unlike the other twenty, you do not have your own TV show or fan fiction! And that's because you're a complete moron! I do hope you have a rather enjoyi.."
Brian had stopped listening to the mindless droning of his sub conscious and instead focused on a strange shape in the sky. The skies were turning gray and thunder clapped violently as a large bright yellow object hurtled through the air and stopped at the massive silver rim of the stadium. With a bright flash of lightning, the great yellow object revealed itself as a giant floating banana.
"Oh no! The giant floating banana… that means that this whole thing is really just a dream…"
"NO! DON'T WAKE UP! I HAVE YET TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH!"
The dream world was slowly slipping away from Brian's sight and blurred away as the face of his sheepish mother came to view. Soon, out of the corner of his eye all he could see was a massive black void with only the bright yellow banana in view, glowing strangely bright as it began to form into something else… It was definitely not a banana…
"WAKE UP!!!"
At last, the boy named Brian snapped back into the painful reality that was his life. He only bore a small resemblance to his dream version; he was barely five foot five while his hair was cropped neatly and acne had yet to sprout on his face. He tried to recall the strange dream he had just had, but it slipped away as quickly as he came. Brian was back in his dull white-walled room while his sheepish mother prodded him with her finger repeatedly, struggling to remain awake herself.
Jolene Arganaut was the mirror image of her son with straight pink hair that fell to her shoulders and a very similar sheepish attitude that she passed down to her son. She belonged to the family of pokemon nurses known as the "Nurse Joys", that were all unnaturally cheerful and serenely aware of the fact that they all looked exactly alike. However, she was one of the rare occurrences in the bloodline with her own individual personality.
While all of her cousins, sisters, and brother-in-law's-best-friends-second-cousins-twice-removed-great-aunt's always managed to keep a cheery positive attitude even if they were in the middle of a desert with a Growlithe chewing away at their leg and someone brutally stabbing them in the chest, Jolene was a pessimistic strong woman who did not take too kindly to idiots and complete morons.
"Ehh, give me another ten minutes Mom. I was up till three on X Box live…" Brian groaned as he sank back under his sheets.
"Do you realize that your little ferry is going to leave in ten minutes?"
"WHAT?" Brian immediately bolted up and turned to face his alarm clock which read '8:13 AM.' "Uhhh, I have another four hours! Today is the day I get out of this house and can go off with Jules and Greg to the Whirl Islands though, right?"
"Yes, so you better get this chapter going before the readers get bored with all the stale unoriginality!" Jolene exclaimed with her impatience growing.
"Chapter?"
"Chapter of your life! Come on Brian how dumb are you! You're the one who reads Tolstoy for fun!"
"But what about the whole reader thing?"
She ignored him and pointed to the bedroom door, with a furious demanding look on her face. Brian sighed and got out of his bed, grabbing the clothes left stashed on top of his drawer and headed to his bathroom at last. As soon as he slammed the door behind him, Jolene immediately slumped to the floor and fell asleep.
Before long, Brian found himself in the shower, musing over his future adventures as he began to return from his sleepy state. Nearly twelve years ago, a bill that was passing through the Grand Council of the Kanto-Johto land for many years finally came into action. The rules of underage pokemon training were completely rewritten, and the age of the handing out of pokemon licenses was raised from ten to eighteen! The basis of this great change was the fact of many injuries and pokemon negligence occurred from giving children that haven't even reached maturity the responsibilities that came with training pokemon.
Of course, there was great backlash and great support to this change. Famous and retired pokemon trainers were enraged over the government would change a tradition that lasted for thousands of years while soccer mothers were jubilant to know that their children would no longer receive bites from Rattata, bruises from Nidoran, and bloody decapitations from Scyther. After five years of intense debating and protesting, the leader of the Elite Four, Lance Sun, and the Grand Pokemon Champion, Patricia Gonzales, had managed to create an adolescent pokemon league in the Sevii Islands for thirteen year olds from Kanto and in the Whirl Islands for thirteen year olds from Johto.
This league would have eight gyms like the other pokemon leagues, two on each main island. However, they were not nearly as difficult as the main land gyms and were supposed to have their own individual twists. Once one gained eight badges, he or she would be able to progress to a final tournament which determined who trained their pokemon the best that year. Then they'd return home and keep the pokemon, or send it to the nearest professor until they turned eighteen.
In addition to the mini pokemon league, the true pokemon tournament of the Whirl Islands would be taking place this year. It was known as the "Whirl Cup", a water pokemon tournament held every three years in the main island, Red Rock Isle. Powerful water pokemon trainers from all corners of the globe would be coming to battle for the great title of "Water Pokemon Alpha Omega."
After he stopped thinking his long typical boring thoughts, he finally went downstairs after neatly tucking in his shirt and combing his thin red hair to one side. At the foot of the stairs, he was greeted with the sweet aroma of the saturated fat of bubbling bacon and the warm smile of his pokemon, Sunkern.
Back when Brian was but a wee little girly man, he found himself spending his spare time playing in the little patch of woods far back in Cianwood City. When he was eight, he came across a small, green striped yellow seed pokemon no bigger than soccer ball being attacked brutally by a small bird pokemon, Pidgey. Being the little indifferent child he was, Brian simply walked on, but after hearing the pitiful cries of the defenseless pokemon that was nearing death and looking straight into her shockingly adorable black eyes, all innocence fell, and the Pidgey soon paid with a flurry of stones.
It was typical clich?d start to a new friendship, Sunkern and Brian soon became inseparable after Brian brought the severely wounded plant pokemon to his mother's PokeCenter to be healed. Six years later, the two's friendship remained strong as ever and Sunkern defied the taunts of all RMTers by becoming an above average battler. Her hard shell proved to be a bit of a pain in her powerful tackle, and her special ability of absorbing enemies health was improved greatly after years of practice again Rattata.
"Hey Sunkern! Get a good nights sleep? Tis time for action buddy!" Brian muttered in a condescending voice, as if the pokemon was still a baby. Sunkern smiled sweetly as usual and leaped on to her trainer's right shoulder as they walked into the dining room to grab a bite of breakfast.
Inside the dining room was not only Brian's mother, Jolene, who was slowly eating a bowl of Total cereal, cringing every time she swallowed, but also his two greatest non-pokemon friends since Kindergarten, Greg and Julie. They were polar opposite fraternal twins who shared the same dirty blonde hair and large seafoam eyes.
"BRIAN! Ready go to the Whirl Islands?" Brian's female friend screeched as she leaped from her eggs and wrapped her arms tightly around the flustered boy, who weakly returned the hug.
Julie was a practical and sagacious teenage girl, who boasted being the only thirteen year old in Cianwood being under five feet after her brother, Greg's, growth spurt. Though she was an optimistic and cheerful girl the majority of the time, she was prone to violence, and despite her small stature, could easily knock out several Donphans in of her notorious tantrums.
"Ok! One-two-three LET HER GO BRIAN!" Greg roared angrily.
Julie must have inherited all the family shrewdness because Greg was one of the greatest loveable morons to ever walk the streets of Cianwood city. He wasn't too intelligent or strategic, but he was built pretty nicely since he spent most of his free time working out to look good for the ladies. Shortly after receiving his first stirrings, Greg soon became nefarious throughout all of town for being an extremely terrible flirt. Any pretty girl he sees, he would immediately jump in and begin complimenting her and then suggesting things leading to a nice kick where it hurts.
As soon as Brian released his hold of Julie (it was truly the other way around), Greg began to gorge on his plate of bacon once more with his right hand while he fixed his spiked blonde hair with the reflection on his spoon with his other hand. The two friends shrugged at each other at Greg's typical strange behavior and sat back in the table.
"Hi Brian, Greg and Julie got here a few minutes before, have some eggs and bac…err toast," Jolene said cheerfully, staring at Greg with a bit of anxiety as he took the last of the nearly twenty pieces of bacon for himself.
"Where's Slowpoke and Machop?" Brian asked the twins, who immediately responded by pointing to the room across from them. There in the kitchen were the two pokemon that belonged to his best friends: Machop and Slowpoke, eating their own meals.
Slowpoke was a hefty bright pink water bear pokemon with a two foot tail ending with a white band. Though he sounded like a pretty fierce and formidable opponent, he was actually one of the dumbest and worst pokemon to own. He had very little will to move his chunky legs and spent his spare time staring blankly into air for long periods, with his large mouth gaping wide open.
Many people wondered how Greg got stuck with such an incredibly incompetent pokemon that mirrored him so well. It all started when the poor idiotic boy was only seven years old and went with his family to the Whirl Islands to see the legendary Whirl Cup tournament. There he saw a beautiful water pokemon trainer by the name of "Misty" and immediately fell in love with her and wanted to be a water pokemon trainer just like her when he grew up. Julie claims that Greg's love for Misty is still alive and flaring. Ever since that Whirl Cup, Greg had become the world's biggest and worst flirt at the mere age of seven!
Unfortunately for him, his Great Aunt Matilda, who knew very little about pokemon, heard about little Gregory's dream of being a water pokemon trainer and bought him the second cheapest water pokemon she could find for his eight birthday, a newly born Slowpoke that was abandoned by its parents. From that day onwards, the two morons were stuck together, both sharing a strong dislike for each other. Mrs. and Mr. Carson refused to buy another pokemon and said that if Greg can't raise one of the hardest pokemon to raise properly, then he could never be a true pokemon trainer. Clearly, he wasn't a true pokemon tranier.
Machop was a much more competent pokemon that Slowpoke. Machop was a pokemon that sort of resembled a five year old kid—on steroids. He was completely grayish with a small tail and three fin like features on top of his head. He looked small and scrawny, but he could lift Greg in one hand and Julie on the other! The origins of Machop were similarly interesting, for he was actually originally intended for Brian.
Brian was born into the Arganauts, the biggest family of Fighting Pokemon trainers in all of Johto. His father, Marcus Arganaut, was a traveling fighting trainer and often gave lessons at dojos and schools about fighting pokemon. His younger brother Chuck had become the gym leader of the Cianwood City gym while his older brother Bruno received the highest honors and gained the second highest position in the Elite Four.
Being born into a family of fighting pokemon trainers, Brian was also expected to carry out the legacy, but instead shocked his entire family with the revelation that he would keep his Sunkern as his main pokemon, rather than the specially bred Machop his father had bought for him. Under Johto Pokemon Law 17-A, a child under the legal age of pokemon trainer could only possess one pokemon, though the family could still own a pokemon that would be intended for the child later on. However, Jolene refused to take in another pokemon in her house; it was already tough enough taking care of the three pokemon that already resided in her home, and Marcus couldn't take the Machop himself because then the pokemon would have no contact with Brian, defeating the purpose of Brian having his own fighting pokemon, so they ended up giving it to Brian's good friend Julie, who was the only one without a pokemon at the time.
"Brian? Brian? BRIAN STOP LOOKING AT THE POKEMON AND EAT ALREADY!" Jolene hollered, snapping her son back into reality.
"Huh? Oh sorry," Brian shrugged and started eating some eggs and toast himself while his Sunkern went to eat his good old sunlight with his pokemon friends. Everyone ate in silence for a few minute before Brian finally started a conversation . "I had the craziest dream this night. Where I--"
"Oh Brian honey, have you been having those dreams about the crazy clown chasing you on a giant Butterfree with a pair of sewing scissors again?" Jolene asked with a look of dear concern on her face as her son's face turned bright purple and the twin's faces looked up rather eagerly.
"Mom…please don't talk about that! No it was actually about--"
"Oh! I know! It was the Skitty gouging you eyes out! You should have heard him scream; I could have sworn I had a daughter!"
Greg and Julie grew steadily more and more purple as they struggled to hold in their laughter, even Sunkern was screwing her eyes tight and looked as if she was hiccupping. Brian decided to abandon the subject and went back to eating his toast, praying with all his might that his mother would not continue the subject of dreams. Jolene saw the look of deep embarrassment on her son's face and was determined to mend her mistake.
"Oh but it's not like Brian only has nightmares all night long! He has all sorts of dreams. You should have heard him in the nights after we went to Goldenrod City and saw the gym leader Whitney!" Jolene cried with glee, looking intently at the twins. Brian dropped his egg filled spoon immediately and began to twitch madly. The two twins looked up eagerly, knowing they struck gold at their best friend's expense.
"Oh really Mrs. Thomas? What exactly did my good buddy Brian say about that red head gym leader?" Greg asked the clueless mother, while secretly giving the magenta-faced Brian a "you go girl!" eye.
"Hmm, I'm not exactly sure what all he was saying, but I remember him going 'I love you Whitney!' and then 'Your so hawt!!!' and then for some reason, he started mooing…"
By the time Mrs. Arganaut started imitating Brian's alleged mooing, Greg and Julie could no longer hold in their amusement and let out a huge myrrh of laughter that brought tears to their eyes and shook the kitchen table rather violently as they struck it fiercely with their fists. Jolene gave her son a big thumbs up, still under the disillusion she redeemed herself, while he slowly banged his head against the kitchen table, in hopes that his brain would come loose, freeing him from the hell that was his mother's love.
After finishing the ruckus that was breakfast, the trio gathered their pokemon and was ready to leave the house and go and visit the gym leader Chuck, who supposedly had a surprise for their journey. Unfortunately, the two greatest idiots in the group ran across some problems trying to leave the house.
"COME ON YOU STUPID LUMMOX GET YOUR FAT BEHIND OFF THE FLOOR AND GET A MOVE ON IT!" Greg screeched as he repeatedly kicked the bear pokemon in its side, trying to get the dimwitted pokemon out of his usual nine o clock daydream. "AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN EAT YOUR REMORAID AND BITS! GAAH YOU STUPID POKEMON!" Greg grabbed a handful of the food in Slowpoke's bowl and shoved it inside the water pokemon's wide gaping mouth before storming out in a fit of rage.
When Greg was out of sight, and Brian, Julie, and their pokemon looked at each other awkwardly, Slowpoke finally began slowly munching his food and started to drag his legs slowly toward the door. There was positively no way to understand what went on in that eccentric pokemon's large head. At last, the three had finally escaped the house (after much hugs and kisses to Brian from his mother) and were on their way to Brian's uncle, Chuck's, gym.
PART TWO
As soon as the trio was about three blocks away from Brian's home, Greg immediately stopped Brian by his shoulder and pulled his neatly tucked shirt out of his pants and messed up his neatly combed hair to give him a somewhat rugged look. "BRIAN! STOP LOOKING LIKE SUCH A FREAKING NERD! How are you going to get them hos looking like some mini lawyer?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HO?" Julie screeched, grasping Greg tightly by the throat and pinning him up against the nearest house, her seafoam eyes vibrating madly. Brian stared at the two uncomfortably while gently trying to fix his hair. The same argument had happened between the three for a while on where Brian should fit in the social spectrum.
Greg fit with the "stupid pretty boy" group, Julie fit with the "feminist intelligent female" group, but Brian didn't really fit anywhere! He was definitely a smart one and a black belt in karate (though he didn't want to raise fighting pokemon, that didn't mean he wasn't a formidable opponent). From his very origins in middle school, Brian had never really gone to any groups and just stuck with having Greg and Julie and best friends and several other friends from all different parts of the social spectrum. Basically, he managed to retain his Elementary mindset of open friendship, setting him apart from thousands of other teenagers all over Johto.
"Brian, you're perfectly fine the way you are. If you ever be like Greg, I promise that I will kill you. Slowly and painfully," Julie smiled cheerfully, after throwing Greg down on the pavement. Brian stuttered, at loss for words when Greg struggled to stand and began speaking.
"Oh puh-lease, are you trying to make Brian a girly man whose going to grow up to be a 'stapistics analist' who never got a woman and has to end up getting a mail-order wife from Bolivia! Hmm, then again, some Bolivian women are pretty hot…"
"SHUT UP GREG! Brian, take it from a woman, plenty of girls are a lot more interested than you than my dearest brother! In fact, I remember some girls even said they had a bit of a crush on you!" Julie declared with a rather excessive broad grin. At her last statement, Greg's mouth fell down, and Brian's eyes grew rather large.
"Really? Who liked me?" Brian asked curiously, attempting with all his might to hide his glee. At this question, Julie's eyes began to widen, and she began to flush a rather light shade of pink as she slowly twisted the ends of her long blonde hair trying to think of a quick response.
"Errm, it was that one Ma..no she…well…actually…that Hoenn…you know what? We really need to go to the Cianwood Gym! It's already 9:30 and who knows how long Chuck wants us? Let's go off to our adventures!" Julie gave her legendary bright smile and skipped on ahead while the guys just shrugged at each other.
"Sunkern Sunkern (Has it occurred to you that humans can be very strange)?" the seed pokemon asked Julie's Machop in utter confusion at the events that just followed.
"Machop Chop Chop (That's because they're brainses aren't nearly as developed as us pokemon'ses brainses)!"the fighting pokemon said in response.
"Slowpoke poke poke (I like tater tots)…"
The rest of the fifteen minute walk to the gym was done in silence, the situation that was started by Greg left them all feeling awkward and Greg wondering what it would be like to have a Bolivian wife…
Finally, they arrived at the most famous building of Cianwood City, the Cianwood Fighting Gym. On the outside, it was a great clash of Japanese architecture and beautifully positioned arches forming a great one story building that released the powerful aura of mysticism. Several beautiful wood chimes hung from the door archway and swayed softly in the breeze, and situated above it was a wooden carving of a giant flaming fist.
When they entered inside, the mystic feel had not gone away quite yet. The wooden ceiling arched high above, looking so fragile yet intricate as if a single ember would make the whole thing burst into flames and cause the whole gym to collapse. The floor was smooth and shiny, except for the rocky battlefield in the very center. The light ninja battle tune that came from the hidden speakers was easily heard as the gym was nearly empty, except for the motherly figure that was trekking from across the field to meet the children.
Her name was Sarah Arganaut, the wife of the gym leader Chuck Arganaut, and she was the world's most caring woman, always baking the children her famous cookies and always assisting the community and volunteering since she didn't have a job. She was a very beautiful woman with a cascade of straight black hair and sparkling blue eyes, and her beauty was only intensified in the kimonos she fashioned.
"Hello children…or should I say teenagers. Ho ho…that was funny, I called you guys teenagers since you guys are now going to…errm, anyway, Chuck is waiting in his office for you! If you look closely, you'll see that Atkins diet I ordered for him is finally working!" Sarah told the kids, pointing to a room crammed all the way back in the corner.
"Do you have any cookies Mrs. Arga--AH AH AH! NEVER MIND!" Greg started before Julie started to twist his ear painfully dragging him off to Chuck's office. Sarah didn't know what to say and just went off to kitchen while the children finally went to see Chuck.
Unlike most offices which consisted of a chairs, a big desk, and a few plants and paintings, Chuck's office was full of different weight lifting stations from bench presses to squats to treadmills, even though there were two other weight lifting rooms in the gym. Machop looked nervously at the punching bag, getting the strong urge to practice his punching skills. In the very corner, there was a small work desk with a computer and phone attached. Chuck was at the desk, wearing his unusually thick glasses and filling out complicated looking forms rather quickly. He looked up at the adolescents who immediately jumped back at the bespectacled Chuck.
"Hello Mr. Arganaut! Can Machop use the punching bag please? He didn't get his normal five days of training at your gym this week," Julie asked, pointing at her jittery pokemon.
"Oh hey kids! Call me Chuck Julie! And of course Machop can use my weights. Errm, you three have a seat…I'm going to get something!" Chuck mumbled quickly as he tore off his glasses and stormed out of the room. Machop immediately went off to the punching bag and began assaulting it. The trio looked around for something they could use as a seat since there was no room for chairs. They ended up sharing one of the bench press benches before Chuck returned carrying a small box with him.
Chuck was like a second father to Brian since his own father was constantly away on work and always taught him important lessons and even was his sensei when he was training in Karate. He was a very powerful but clumsy man with a prominent split moustache. Though his arms and legs were built powerfully and he had the built of a wrestler, Chuck was quite the chubby one, though his diet was having some effect.
He placed the box down and began to rummage through the box before pulling out a tiny electronic device only the size of a cellular phone. It was bright red and had a clear screen in the center with several buttons below it and a tiny stylus to go with it. Chuck pressed a tiny, barely visible button on the back of the strange device, and a voice suddenly boomed out of it.
"HELLO USER. I AM THE I-POKEDEX MINI! I SERVE AS AN ELECTRONIC POKEMON ENCYLOPEDIA THAT WILL GIVE YOU ALL SORTS OF INFORMATION ABOUT A POKEMON! PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME AND GENDER!"
The trio raised their eyebrows at the abilities of this tiny device and didn't know what to say. Suddenly, Chuck ran toward them and shoved the "I-Poke" in front of Greg's mouth. Greg did not know what to do and leaned back, as if the machine was a slimy Weedle. "Psst…state your name and gender!" Chuck hissed from behind the I-Poke Mini.
"Umm Greg Carson, Female…NO MALE MALE MALE!"
"HELLO MRS. UMMGREG CARSON! PLEASE GO TO MY SETTINGS SCREEN TO CHANGE MY SETTINGS."
"This is the newest innovation in the Pokedex line! Last year we had the I-Poke which could fit in your smallest pockets and had nearly five hundred skins and could hold information on 400 pokemon! But this year, we have the I-Poke Mini which can fit neatly in the lining of your underwear and has a thousand skins and can hold information on 5000 pokemon!" Chuck announced in a strangely monotone and rehearsed voice.
"Umm Uncle Chuck, who would want to keep their Poke in their undergarments?" Brian asked with a look of deep confusion at the I-Poke Mini.
"And last time I checked, Chuck, there was only three hundred eighty pokemon, not five thousand?" Julie muttered, holding back her annoyance at the idiocy of this so called technology innovation.
"That thing is so easy to lose! I'd end up putting it in my laundry!" Greg cried.
"QUITE! THIS IS A TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATION!" Chuck screamed, taking everyone by surprise. His crimson face soon returned to normal, looking rather embarrassed for his previous outburst. "Err, so anyway the I-Poke Mini was presented at the Spring Gym Leader conference, and I said I knew two very responsible adolescents who were about to go to the Pokemon League on the Whirl Islands and a third adolescent who could receive a prototype to see if the more slower children could easily operate the device. So, instead of that obsolete I-Poke, you three shall receive the I-Poke Mini as prototype testers! Let me demonstrate on your Machop, Julie!"
Chuck pointed Urrgreg's I-Poke at Machop and pressed a red button, causing the tiny bulb at the tip of the device to glow brightly and pause for a few seconds.
"MACHOP-THE FIGHTING POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PREVOLVED POKEMON AND IS CAPABLE OF LIFTING ONE HUNDRED TIMES THEIR OWN WEIGHT. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 15 AND KNOWS LOW KICK, KARATE CHOP, FOCUS ENERGY, AND LEER!"
"Great! One down….four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine more pokemon to go!" Greg exclaimed sarcastically, causing Chuck to scowl and point the I-Poke at Slowpoke as well.
"SLOWPOKE- THE WATER/PSYCHIC POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS ONE OF THE MOST DIMWITTED POKEMON AND EXTREMELY INRESPONSIVE. IT TAKES A VERY SKILLED TRAINER TO BRING OUT ITS HIDDEN POWER. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 5 AND KNOWS WATER GUN, CURSE, AND TACKLE!"
Brian and Julie immediately guffawed at Greg's humiliation before Chuck pointed the I-Poke at Sunkern.
"SUNKERN- THE GRASS POKEMON. THIS POKEMON IS VERY FRAGILE AND EASILY DEFEATED. ITS PRIMARY WAY OF ATTACKING ITS OPPONENT IS BY ABSORBING ITS ENERGY. THIS ONE IS CURRENTLY AT LEVEL 16 AND KNOWS ABSORB, MEGA DRAIN, AND GROWTH!"
"Pssh, very fragile and easily developed? Not my Sunkern! We'll prove that stupid I-Poke wrong, right Sunkern?" Brian asked his grass pokemon, giving her a hard slap in the back. Sunkern was immediately shot into the air from the bench, struck Chuck's hard desk rather fiercely, and slid down to lay face down in the dirty carpeted floor.
"Sunkern kern kern (Why didn't you just get a shiny Larvitar like everybody else)…"
"I've got cookies! And Miltank jerky for my Atkins man!" Sarah exclaimed as she walked right in the room carrying a plate of food, before they people in the room could commence to laugh at Sunkern and Brian. The trio was more than happy to take the cookies while Chuck politely refused the Miltank jerkey, not being able to take another bite of meat. "I see Chuck has given you the I-Pokes! Are they, as you kids say, totally
rad!"
The three immediately stopped half way through their cookies and looked up at the horrifying site of a middle age woman saying an extinct teenage phrase. After several seconds of silence, Greg was the one who finally broke the silence. "Dude, that like totally died out around the Middle Ages, fo'shizzle!"
"Tell me Mrs. Sarah, can you name five thousand pokemon?" Brian asked the totally rad woman. Julie nodded vigorously in agreement while Chuck let out a groan of exasperation.
"Umm, I can do this! I got an A- in Pokemon Studies! Umm Caterpie, Sunkern, uuhhh Poliwrath, ummm Wobbuffet, Jynx…." Sarah began to recite, with her eyes screwed tight in concentration as she attempted to recall the names of all five thousand pokemon. Brian and Julie looked at each other nervously; they didn't think she'd actually try.
She continued on naming random pokemon names for another five minutes before Chuck whispered to them quietly that it was best they went off and wished them good luck on their pokemon journey, giving them all individual hugs and handing them their I-pokes, while Sarah still managed to recite random pokemon names, completely indifferent to what happened around her.
As soon as they got out of the office, they broke out in a sprint to get away from the two very strange adults and there magical technology.
"That was weird… But hey, I suppose it's not bad to get these I-Poke Minis for free. Normally, you have to pay a hundred dollars for one!" Julie commented as she looked at her new I-Poke Mini and showed it to her Machop as well.
"Hmmph, I'll show that stupid voice! I am an extremely skilled trainer, and my Slowpoke will be the most powerful thing in the history of the world! Even more powerful than that Misty's Corsola…oh Misty how much I'd love for you too…errm give me advice on water pokemon training!" Greg rambled on, before being rudely snapped back to reality by the greedy looks on his best friend and sister's face at the hint that he truly still did love Misty.
"Hey Julie, Greg and I definitely know what we're going to do. Greg is going to compete in the Whirl Cup, if he even manages to catch another water pokemon, and I'm going to get those badges and compete in the end of the year tournament. You decided yet?" Brian asked.
Julie did not answer immediately, instead she paused for a moment and was deep in thought as reflected by the strange glimmer in her seafoam eyes as she tied her long hair in a ponytail. "Well, I do love an occasional battle but don't want to spend my entire year just training my pokemon for battle! Maybe I'll go and see what pokemon occupation I want to do when I grow up…and perhaps train my pokemon to beat that awful Sally!"
She made a rather ugly face at the word Sally, for Sally was one of the Pecunia Triplets. The Pecunians were a very rich family with a giant mansion in the far end of Cianwood as well as a sea cabin. They had a set of triplets containing three snobby daughters: Sally, Grace, and Jean. They always wore fancy dresses and bragged about their surplus of material things in school. Sally and Julie were horrible enemies ever since Kindergarten, but that story is for another time…
Brian and Greg chuckled at her last statement and the three decided to head back to their own homes, get their stuff, and meet back up in the Cianwood Port to wait for the Ferry to come at last. After a few blocks, they parted ways. Brian looked around him and for the first time in a while he appreciated the beauty of his city that he would be separated from for an entire year.
Over to the far right was a giant beach that stretched all through out the shore with many ferries, fisherman, swimmers, and just people having fun at the beach. At the other side was a large city with beautiful white houses and a pokemon center. The entire city consisted of fifty streets and over one thousand houses. The sun always shined brightly overhead the city and the air was always salty with the taste of the Johto Sea; it truly was a spectacular place, but Brian anticipated even more the beautiful conditions and streets of the Whirl Islands that he waited nearly thirteen years for.
Upon reaching his home, he saw his mother waiting patiently on the porch with Brian's packed travel pack hanging limply at her side. Besides her was a large praying mantis pokemon with large scythes for arms, a Scyther known as "Slissy". Jolene's normally peachy and bright face was wet with the stains of tears. Because Marcus Arganaut was always gone in work, her son was all she had and now he would be gone too. They looked at each other silently for a few minutes before Jolene finally cracked and leaped to wrap her arms around her son and planting fierce kisses on his cheeks.
"Oh Son! I'm going to miss you so much! Even though it is only a year, I'm still going to miss you so badly! I have your bag packed with all necessary things you need, including ten sticks of Old Spice deodorant!"
"You got me Old Spice deodorant mother? Wow Mom, you really do care about me!" Brian interrupted.
"Yes, Old Spice deodorant is made with a powerful substance that has the force to eliminate and prevent powerful odors of the sweat gland; even a Muk will smell good with a nice application of Old Spice!"
"So, if a mother truly cares about her Son, she will buy him Old Spice deodorant?"
"Yes, because those cheap mothers who buy the one dollar store brand crap are also the tramps with seven crack addicted babies you see living in trailers in Alabama! So, unless you want to be a trashy woman living in a trailer with seven crack addicted babies, hurry up to your nearest drug store and pick up as many Old Spice deodorants as you can for the low price of 3.99!" Jolene exclaimed, pulling a stick of Old Spice deodorant from her pocket turning around and giving a strangely wide grin to the air in front of her.
"Scyther Scyther Scythe (What the heck was that! Humans…)" Slissy commented as she watched the two humans acting very strangely from her hedge cutting.
"Anyways, if you need anything, be sure to call me! Remember PokeCenters offer free meals, so don't be a Pecunia and save your money! Oh, Sunkern you be a good plant and protect Brian," Mrs. Thomas mumbled with tears pouring down her cheeks.
"Mom…"
"OH SON!"
She gave Brian a rib cracking hug and splattered his face with kisses again as he put on his pack. Sunkern was screwing her eyes tightly, attempting for the one too manieth time to control her laughter.
"I'll miss you too Mom, but can you please loosen your grip," Brian struggled to say. Slissy, who was about as close to Brian as Sunkern, turned away and crossed her scythes with a few tears growing in her eyes. "Oh Slissy! You know I'll miss you the most!"
The bug pokemon turned back smiling and raised her scythes in preparation for an enormous hug. "AHHHHHH!" Brian screamed as he ran as fast as he could away from the sharp scythes and toward the port nearly toppling Sunkern off of his shoulder.
When he finally reached the port, he found Greg and Julie already waiting there along with about fifty other adolescents and their pokemon waiting impatiently for the ferry to come anytime soon, even though they still had about another hour and a half. As he walked toward his best friends, many people gave him funny looks since he had lipstick plastered all over his cheeks and was panting rather heavily. The trio sat down on the rocks and played several games of Gin Rummy with a few other friends before the ferry finally approached the port.
As the ship finally drew closer, the crowd murmured and gasped in great interest at the ferry. It was nothing like a ferry; it was more like a cruise ship! Within an hour, the ship anchored at the dock and the door opened as a small man with glasses holding a piece of paper came out along with several sailors. They explained the rules and regulations of the expected ship behavior (which even Julie didn't listen to). More people were focused on the majesty that was the S.S. Mantine! It was nowhere the size of a regular ship but was still rather large and shared the same volume as two houses. The white and black paint shined brightly in the sun and many bulbs decorated the intricate railing that traveled around the perimeter of the boat. They saw a few windows scattered sporadically around the side of the boat and couldn't wait to see what lay inside the majestic boat.
The small man with the piece of paper began to speak himself. "Alright, get settled down. This boat ride is expected to last four hours on route to Olivine City and then another four hours to the Whirl Islands from there. I will name the names of those who registered to go on this journey in alphabetical order, and when your name is called out, I need you to come to me, show me your ID, and then you may come aboard the S.S. Mantine! Alright….Reddy Alibaster, Brian Arganaut, Lewis Badeyes, Adam Britannia, Greg Carson, Julie Carson, Billy Coors…"
Brian and the twins pulled out their Pokemon IDs, gave each other big grins, and walked toward the ship to a new land, to a new adventure, to a new period in their lives that they would never forget as long as they lived.
...This chapter was brought to you by Old Spice Deodorant and Apple Computers. Remember, if you don't want to be outstyled crack addicted Alabama trailer trash, then use our products!
End Notes: If you want to be a permanent reviewer/reader and want to be contacted when there is a new chapter, please tell me in your review or PM me
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