Sapphire Tears*~ Hoenn's Mysteries

Dizzy

My Father is a Baron!
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    This is a fan-fiction by Dizzy.

    The Story Takes place in the Ruby and Sapphire Arc, but it has nothing to do with the Manga. It's about a girl named Veronica, who's from the Kingdom of Hoenn. She's just your average teenage girl, thinking about her life, her journey and her job. She works Part-time as a Professor Birch's Aide, but when the Devon Corporation offer her this new job to travel the world, her status shifts from Cooped-up Lab Rat, to Full Time Explorer. Lot's of things happen to Veronica though. Influences from Team Aqua and Magma, trying to offer her jobs also. Let's see what the story has to say for us .




    Sapphire Tears​


    Chapter I - Sunny Days, Rainy Memories.

    "Yahh! That was just pop-sensation, Flannery, with her new hit, Passionate Flames" commented a new's reporter on PokemonTV

    "I want to be just like Flannery, come on know who doesn't? She's perfect! She's a Gym Leader, Model, Singer... She's my Idol" Veronica said, glaring at her TV's Shiny Screen.

    "One Day, I'm going to get out of this town and go to different places... I just dont know when." She said, and let out a big Sigh, while staring at her Flannery Poster.

    -The Phone Rings- "Oh Veronica, we need you down here, at the Lab! My Father has a surprise for you, I'd tell you but.. you know ^_^.. Come on Girl Stop being lazy and get over here!" a girl said, It was Veronica's Friend, May, The Girl from Down the Street. She was Professor Birch's Daughter, She wanted to be a pokemon trainer.

    "Yay, they probably want me to walk their Poochy again... I don't like Dogs..." She said, thinking of a time when a Mightyena bit her..

    -Veronica walks down to the Lab, grabbing her bag, and lab coat-

    -She walks through crowded streets with little houses. She walks down the stairs and walks half way down the street, before she finally arrives at the lab.-

    "I'm here, Professor Bi..." She said, but was cut off by a Tall Man, with Silver Hair.

    "Hello, My name is Steven Stone, and I'm from the Devon Corporation, you know us right? Anyway, I wanted to offer you a job under our Exploration Department. We could use someone like you, the Professor Told me that your Organized, and know lots of techniques for the Road, so you could easily survive on the Exploration Routes" Mr. Stone Said, Handing Veronica a Document that asked her all her Information

    -Here's what she filled out-

    Name: Veronica d'Ariane
    Date of Birth - August 29th 1988
    Age: 15
    Occupation: Assistant for Birch Labs.
    Skills: Organization, Completed School.

    The rest wasnt Important

    "Great!" Professor Birch said, but he wasnt in it for the Money his Lab would be getting.

    "Okay, when do I start." Veronica Said, Running her Fingers through her Long, Brown hair.

    "Tonight, of course, we'll need you in Oldale tonight, and by Tommorow night, Rustboro, if possible." Steven Said, Taking the Paper, and putting it in his briefcase.

    "Uhh, Tonight? That's Awful fast, isnt it? But I'm up for it!" Veronica said, shocked by the time.

    "That's fine, Now, go home, and pack for your trip, Report back here at, Maybe.. Six o'clock. Professor Birch will give you a few things you might need on your journey." Steven Said, Grabbing his Coat,

    "Now If you please, Take care, and I shall be seeing you" He Rushed out the Doorway, not noticing that he dropped something, a silver Sphere.

    "Wait! You..." Professor Birch screamed, while running after Mr. Stone.

    "I wonder what it is" May quietly mumbled.

    -Professor Birch Opened the Gadget-

    -In a Small Blast, a small pokemon came out-

    "Vulll!" The Small Pokemon, Vulpix, cried.

    "Oh My! It's So Cute!! Can we keep her Daddy!" May yelled out in Joy

    "It's not our's honey. Hey, Vee(Veronica's Nickname) since your going to see Steve later, Maybe you could bring this back to him" Professor Birch Said, Grabbing the Pokeball

    "Return, Vulpix" The Professor called out, And in a Red Light, the Small Fox Returned to it's Orb.

    -The Pokeball looked very expensive, It was Silver, with a Fire Gem implanted right above the Button. Underneath the Button was a small Stone, which was Green. The Button and Around the Ball, was a Smooth, Golden Lining.-

    "Here, Veronica" The Professor turned to Veronica, handing her the Ball.

    "Okay, Thank's! I'll be back Professor. See you after May!" Veronica Exclaimed to the Professor and his Daughter.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Home: 4:30pm

    "What do I need on my journey? I'm definately bringing my CD player with the Flannery CD in it, I hope I get to meet Flannery...She Interests me so much." Veronica Thought to her self while Grabbing her Pink Backpack.

    -The Backpack was Pink, with a Simple Design.-

    " I'm going to need clothes" Veronica said, opening her closet.

    "Hmm... What do we have here, Some American Eagle Stuff, and Hollister Clothes" She said, while Grabbing the Clothes and Putting it in her bag.

    "I'm going to need my Pokemon Trainer's Handbook, and some Potions!" She said, while going over to her Nightstand and taking out a book, and a Small Clear Bottle.

    "Yahh That's All" She said, walking out her door, heading down the stairs into what seemed to be a huge Kitchen.

    "See you soon Mom!" Vee said to her Mother.

    "Oh Veronica! I'm going to be seeing you, I hope. I am Heading up to the Mountains this weekend, so if your ever in the area, stop by your Aunts house. Here take this" She said to her Daughter, Handing her 100.00 Dollars.
    "You never know when you might need it" She said, Smiling.

    "See you later, hon." Her Mother said, Kissing her on the Cheek.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    *Veronica was half way out the door. She was walking down to the lab, to get her things from Professor Birch*


    "Okay, Professor Birch, I'm here" Veronica said while looked around for the professor.

    "Good to see you again, Vee, here I packed your things in this New Bag May bought you!" The Professor Said, Giving her the New, Sleek Black Backpack with a Pink Lining.

    "Woah!!! That's just like the Backpack Flannery owns! Oh My God! Veronica Screamed in Excitement.

    "I knew you'd love it, that's why I bought it, I got one just like it!" May said, while giving the bag over to Vee.

    "Thanks May! What can I get you in return?" Veronica said, while hugging her best friend.

    "Oh Nothing, just remember that my birthday is right around the corner! Send me something cool from when you go around the world!" May Replied back, in response to her friend's query and Hugging her friend back.

    "Sure!" Veronica said, Smiling.

    "May, your going to go with Veronica on her journey, to do me a favor." Professor Birch said to May

    "I am? Woah This is so cool, Vee, I get to go with you!" May said smiling at her best friend

    "Woah! This is going to be one exciting journey!" Veronica exclaimed.

    "Okay, Sorry for Delaying, Vee, I have your stuff" Professor Birch said, Opening the Bag

    "This is the AdventurePack, It's a very good bag. It has 6 Pockets. The First one is the Medicine Pouch, you can store Potions and stuff in this one. The Next Is called the PokeNav Holder, It's a slot that holds your PokeNav in place, with an Extension to play CD's and Access the Radio too. The Next Two are your Berry and TM Pockets, you know how to use them if you read the manual. Here we have the KeyItems pocket, You store the key Items in this one. Finally we have the Pokeballs Pocket, without this Pocket, you wouldnt be able to store your pokeballs. It is very Important you pay attention to your Pokeball Supply too. I already put 5 Pokeballs in here." The Professor Explained to the Young Explorer.

    "Dad, you talk to much, has any ever told you that? Just Kidding" May Said to her father.

    "Enough of that May! You already have your stuff May, And I already gave Vee her stuff. Now you guys, don't want to be late, do you?" The Professor Said.

    "Okay" Both May and Veronica said.

    "Let's get going, Vee" Said May

    "Yah, Time is... Pokemon!" Veronica said to May

    "See you Dad/Professor Birch" May and Veronica said.

    ------------------------------------------------------------

    To be Continued.
    __________________
     
    Chapter Duas (2)

    Sapphire Tears​

    Chapter II - Shining Stars, Shining Beauties

    The Story Last left off where Veronica and May, left Littleroot Town, to go on an exploration journey. Professor Birch, has given them many items, and the latest technological Pokedex. They we're on their ways, now lets read.

    "Where are we off too?" May Said, looking confused, but happy.

    Veronica takes out her PokeNav, from her AdventerePack.

    "The Closest Town now, is Oldale Town, which shouldnt take more then 15 minutes to get to, if we take Route 101, which leads north" Veronica Said, With a Smart Look on her face.

    "Gee Vee, you think your smart now don't you? Just kidding, Anyways, Remember Brendan's Dad? He's the leader of Petalburg City's Gym." May said while trying to start conversation, but, not paying attention, a Wurmple came and touched her leg.

    "Oh MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT!" May said, running to the other side.

    May Takes out her PokeDex

    "Wurmple, the Worm Pokemon. Using the spikes on it's rear end, Wurmple peels the bark off trees and feeds the sap that oozes out. The Pokemon's feet are tipped with suction pads that allow it to cling to glass without slipping." The Machine said, in a monotonous voice.

    "Oh, gee isnt that a cute pokemon" Veronica said.

    "Ahhh, I can't find my pokemon!, Veronica, Battle it for me!" May said panicking, and rummaging through her bag.

    "I thought you'd never ask" Veronica said Smiling, And holding the Silver Pokeball in her hand

    "Go Vulpix!" Veronica said

    Veronica, throwing the Silver sphere to the ground, a bright red light emerged, splitting the orb in half, when the light took form, a small fox-type Pokemon appeared

    "Vvvvvvvvvvvulpix!" The Small Fox Cried.

    "Okay Vulpix, Use Tail Whip!" Veronica commanded.

    "Vul!" Vulpix obeyed swinging its body around wagging its long, split tail.

    "Wurrr" The Wild Wurmple screamed out, while charging at Vulpix with a full-charged Tackle

    "Vaaaaah!!" The Vulpix Cried, in pain as the worm hit it's side

    "Okay Now Vulpix, Use Ember!" Veronica said, while May, Looking through her bag, had found her Pokeball!

    "Okay! I found my Pokemon! Ready? Here it goes, Pokeball, Don't let me down!" May Said, Thrusting a Bright Blue Pokeball, that looked somewhat like a dive ball.

    May throwing the ball, it touched the floor, and opening, dramatically, Blue Spheres that looked like bubbles, circled around the small body. As it took shape, it revealed to be a.......Mudkip

    "Alright! It's Mudkip!" May said in a high-pitched voice

    "Awww it's so cute, May, Now you can take over!" Veronica said, hugging May, and grabbing her Pokeball"

    "Vulpix, Return!" Veronica Shouted and in a light, Vulpix disappeared.

    "Okay, Mudkip, lets battle! Give it a Tackle Attack!" May commanded her small Pokemon to attack

    "Mudddkip!" Mudkip cried while running towards it's target"

    "WUUUUURRRRRR" The Small Worm shouted, in pain, and looking very week.

    "Okay.. Now it's time! Pokeball! Go!" May Shouted, grabbing an Empty Pokeball and throwing it towards the small pokemon.

    In this moment, a pokeball flies towards the Wurmple. In a red light, Wurmple enters the Ball. The ball closes and rocks on the ground. Within three Rocks, the Light Stabilizes. The Pokemon is Caught.

    "Alright! I caught Wurmple.....with your help Vee" May said, thankful, her friend helped battle the pokemon.

    "No Problem May, Anytime, now let's get going!" Veronica said facing her friend.

    "Right, Yay! Let's get to a Pokemon Center, it's getting sort of Dark."

    The Heroes walked through the long grass, seeing many pokemon, and when nightfall came, They Reached Oldale Town.

    "Finally, we made it to Oldale Town" Veronica said.

    "But I thought we had to be in Rustboro City by tonight, I say we stop at the Pokemon Center, and call My Dad and Steven." May exclaimed, looking a bit Worried.

    "Yah, I guess your right, Let's get going" Veronica looking at May, said.

    The Heroes wind up at the Empty Pokemon Center

    "Nurse Joy!" May Screamed.

    "May! I haven't seen you in a while, what's going on?" Nurse Joy Replied to May.

    "Oh Nothing, this is my friend Veronica, we just came from Littleroot Town, Veronica is on an Exploration Job, and I'm accompanying her, but Really I'm running an Errand for my Dad, who's back at the Lab." May said to The Nurse.

    "Hi! I'm Veronica" Veronica said, very shyly.

    "Hi, Do your Pokemon need Medical Help?"

    "Yes, they are Exhausted from Battle" May said, taking out her Pokeballs, Veronica doing the Same"

    "Okay, I'll see them right away, you guys can just chill here in the Main Room for a while until they are done" Nurse Joy, said warmly to the trainers.

    "Okay, we'll be here" May and Veronica said, almost in Unison.

    "So... Want to go Shopping later? We can buy stuff for our Pokemon, then go Clothes shopping. It'll be fun! How much Money do you have?" May said, excited about it.

    "Sure that sounds awesome, I think I have 100.00 with me, Hey I still have to call Steven and you have to call your dad, lets do that now!" Veronica said, checking her wallet.

    "Yeah, I have 100.00 dollars too. Okay, lets call"

    Note: I made the Money system easier, instead of 10000 Pokemondollars and stuff, It's 100.00 Dollars. Instead of a Pokeball being 200 PDollars, its 2.00 Dollars.

    "Insert 1.00 please" The Telephone Machine said.

    "You don't have to pay, just put in the PC Code and your all set" May said, Typing in a Code for Veronica.

    "Okay, Thanks May, Thank God you came here with me." Veronica said to her best friend, while putting in Steven's Phone Number"

    "Hello?" A Familiar Voice said.

    "Hello? Steven? This is Veronica" Veronica Said to the Video-Phone Image of Steven.

    "Oh, Hello Veronica! Did you make it to Rustboro yet?" Steven said to Veronica's Image on the Screen"

    "No, Not Yet, Sorry, we got Sidetracked. We're in Oldale Town. We're going to take a bus to Petalburg City so we can get there by Tommorow Morning"

    "Okay, Glad to see your safe, Thats fine, take as much time as you need to get here. See you soon Veronica, Bye Bye" Steven said, but by the time Veronica could reply, his image disappeared.

    "Okay, now lets call Daddy!" May Said sitting at the phone, dialing the number

    "Hello?" Professor Birch said, knowing it was May.

    "Hey! Daddy, we're in Oldale Town! Veronica just helped me catch a Wurmple. " May said, going on and on.

    "Woah, thats wonderful, I want to see a good PokeDex from both of you when I next see you!" Professor Birch Exclaimed.

    "Hey Professor, I'm here!" Veronica said.

    "Why Hello, Veronica, If you need anything, don't you girls hesistate to call, Oh yes and May, I left 50.00 Dollars for you in the Bank, you might want to get it out of your PC. See you soon" Professor Birch said, hanging up.

    "Alright 50.00 Dollars." May shouted

    "Your Rolling in the Dough, Maysie!" Veronica exclaimed to May.

    Nurse Joy came back with the Girls' Pokemon.

    "Okay I have your pokemon, and their in Fine Condition!" Nurse Joy said, giving the Pokemon back to both of the girls.

    "Nurse Joy, Do you know about the Hoenn Lines Bus Station? We we're thinking we could get a ride to Petalburg City." Veronica said, holding the flyer with the Name Hoenn Line...

    "Yes, It's on Kappa-Oak Street, just 5 Minutes from here" Nurse Joy Answered.

    "Okay, Thank you Nurse Joy, See you soon" Veronica Said.

    "See you soon Nurse Joy!" May said, happily.

    The Girls left and Walked over to the Bus Station, Hoenn Line Bus Station--Oldale

    "Excuse me, Can you please tell us when the next bus leaves?" May said, looking at the Sign that showed the Different kinds of Buses.

    "Yes, The Mightyena Bus leaves in one hour, while the Linoone bus leaves in fifteen minutes." The Person at the Desk said, smiling.

    "Okay Thank you, we'd like to buy Tickets for the Mightyena Bus." May Said to the Woman.

    "Okay, that will be 15.00 Dollars each." The Woman said, taking the money, exchanging it for Two Tickets with Mightyena Prints on it.

    "Thank you!" Both of the Girls said, taking the Tickets, and walking out the door.

    "Want to Go Shopping now?" May Asked.

    "Sure, I wonder what cool things the PokeMart as well as the Regular Store Sells." Veronica Answered, Pulling out her wallet.

    The Girls Walked down the street into a Shopping Center, which had two huge Buildings.

    "Hey! They have the new Flannery CD, My Hometown! I want to buy it! We need some Pokeballs too, so lets go out and spend some."Veronica Screamed.

    'How May I help you?" The Cashier said, facing Veronica.

    "Yes, Thank you, I'll take One Flannery CD, Three Pokeballs, Two Potions, and One Paralyze Heal." Veronica Answered.

    "That will be 31.00 please." The Cashier Said, Packing the Stuff into a bag.

    "Here you go, thank you." Veronica said giving the monet over to the cashier."

    "May I help you, miss?" The Clerk said, facing May.

    "Yes, I would like, Two Pokeballs, Four Potions, Three Antidotes, and a Ticket for the Rustboro Passage." May said, taking out her Money.

    "Okay, that will be 39.00 Please." The Cashier said, having the bag all ready.

    "Here you go, here's 40.00, Keep the Change, Thank you" May said, generously handing the 40.00 Over.

    "Okay, I guess we're all set then." Veronica said, taking her CD player our and putting the New Flannery CD in it.

    Just as the girls we're on their ways out, Brenden, another Pokemon Trainer, was also leaving.

    "Oh May, Veronica!" Brendan shouted out to the Girls.

    "Oh Hey, Brendan, what's up?" May said to the tall boy.

    "Nothing, just going over to Petalburg City, to Challenge My Dad, What about you?" Brendan exclaimed.

    "We're doing the Same, we we're just about to go over to the Bus Station." Veronica Said, taking out her Ticket.

    "Oh me, too, Wanna go together?" Brendan Asked.

    "Sure! Let's get going, it's almost 9:00 PM!" Veronica yelled happily!

    "Okay then let's go" May said.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    To Be continued.
     
    I'm now Open for comments before I Post up the next chapter. Oh yes, and for Game Freaks who love my fanfic, please, tune in, Because I want to make a game about this :)
     
    Chapter III Spoiler :)

    Sapphire Tears




    Chapter III ? Master of Disaster, Veronica?s Foil!



    The Story last ended where Veronica and May met up with Brendan, a Pokemon Trainer from Littleroot Town going to Petalburg City. They all decided to become a team and work together. Veronica is an Explorer, May is a researcher and Brendan is a Strategist. How will the team Succeed in this chapter? Read on won?t you?


    ?Come on you guys the bus might leave!? May said while running over to the Huge, Black bus with A Mightyena print on it.

    ?Wait for us!? Veronica screamed after her.

    ?Petalburg City! Here we come!? Brendan Shouted, getting on the bus.

    Our Heroes are now on the Mightyena Bus. They are headed for Petalburg City, but only Fate knows what?s in store for them.

    Veronica is Listening to her New Flannery CD, May is doing some Research, and Brendan is calling random people.

    ?Oh Dear, Flannery is my freekin? Idol!? Veronica said

    ?We know Vee, you stress her too much, if you want a good Idol, Brawly Is really worth it?

    _--------------------------------------------
     
    Thank you! i'm still writing the next chapter ^_^
     
    Good sotry Dizzy, I didn't know you were a writer. I like how you have an original concept, and not Ash and Misty. There some minor grammer and punctuation errors, but it didn't really matter, because I understand what you typed. Can't wait to read the nest chapter.

    BTW, I want May and Brendan to hook up!
     
    Thanks Nick! LOL You like my story? I didnt know I was a writer either. Next Chapter








    Sapphire Tears​




    Chapter III ? Master of Disaster, Veronica?s Foil!



    The Story last ended where Veronica and May met up with Brendan, a Pokemon Trainer from Littleroot Town going to Petalburg City. They all decided to become a team and work together. Veronica is an Explorer, May is a researcher and Brendan is a Strategist. How will the team succeed in this chapter? Read on won?t you?


    ?Come on you guys the bus might leave!? May said while running over to the Huge, Black bus with A Mightyena print on it.

    ?Wait for us!? Veronica screamed after her.

    ?Petalburg City! Here we come!? Brendan Shouted, getting on the bus.

    Our Heroes are now on the Mightyena Bus. They are headed for Petalburg City, but only Fate knows what?s in store for them.

    Veronica is Listening to her New Flannery CD, May is doing some Research, and Brendan is calling random people.

    ?Oh Dear, Flannery is my freekin? Idol!? Veronica said

    ?We know Vee, you stress her too much, if you want a good Idol, Brawly Is really worth it?

    ?Oh Come on May!? Veronica Replied

    ?My Love is like a Volcano, Hot and Ready for You? Veronica Sang.

    The Bus Stops in the middle of Route 104

    ?Hey! The Bus just Stopped! What?s the deal?? Brendan said.

    May Looks out a window to see Six or Seven people dressed in Blue Uniforms, almost looking like Pirates.

    ?Please Do not be alarmed, Remain Seated and we shall begin moving again shortly, Thank you? The Bus Driver Said through the Intercom?

    ?No Way, I want to see this up Close!? Brendan Said in Reply.

    ?Me too! Let?s Go!? May said after Brendan, almost blushing

    ?Okay Let?s go then! I wonder who they are? Veronica replied.

    Just as May, Brendan, and Veronica are about to leave the bus, they are stopped by the Driver.

    ?I don?t think it?s such a good Idea to leave, you might get hurt,? The Driver said

    ?We?ll be fine, now let us go through, sir?
    ?Okay, But please, be careful? The Bus Driver Said, Grabbing a Pokeball with a black top.

    ?People please do not be alarmed, I?ll be right back!? The Bus Driver said, Running out into the Night

    ?Wait!? The Heroes said

    Outside of the Bus, the crew and the bus driver are staring at The Mob, who is identified as Team Aqua.

    ?You can?t do this, we have people to transport!? The Bus Driver said to the gang.

    ?Put a Sock in it. And Give us your Pokemon!? A Female Member said.

    ?Never! Don?t you have any respect?? The Bus Driver said.

    ?Heh, Silence Old Geezer? Pokeball Go!!!? The Leader of the Gang said.

    The Pokeball came to the ground and opened into a sphere of light, out of the light came a pokemon so vicious it scared May and she jumped into Brendan?s arms.

    ?Vanha!!!!!!? The Vile Pokemon Cried

    Veronica got out her pokedex.

    ?Carvanha, the Savage Pokemon. Carvanha?s strongly developed Jaws and its sharply pointed fangs pack the destructive power to rip out boat hulls? The Dex Replied.

    ?Woah? we have to be extremely careful with this pokemon? Veronica said

    ?I?ll handle it? Brendan said.

    ?Gooo?. Treecko!? Brendan said while throwing a green and blue sphere to the ground.

    ?Treee? The Pokemon Cried.

    ?Treecko your at advantage! Give it a Vine Whip Attack!?

    ?Koooo? The Pokemon Replied while Lashing it?s tail at the brutal fish

    ?Carvanha, if you know whats good for you you?ll use Ice Beam!?

    ?Vanha!!!!!!!? The Pokemon cried in pain as the vine whip came?

    ?Dude your Carvanha?s whipped. I think you should call it back and let me handle this?

    ?Carvanha! Return!? The leader said

    ?Go?.Poochy!?

    ?Brendan, Can I battle this kid?? May said to Brendan.

    ?Yahh! Treecko, come on back!?

    ?Okay! Let?s go! Wurmple!?

    In this moment, two pokeballs are thrown to the ground, emerging with creatures.

    ?Wurmple!? The creature cried

    ?EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENA!? The Indimidating Creature Screamed out.

    ?Hahaha! Look that little girl sent out a Wurmple! You think that It?s going to beat my Poochy?? The Grunt Yelled

    ?Hey! Shut up, my Wurmple might not look tough but we?ll see when it kicks your poochyena?s Butt!? May Replied

    ?Haa! Poochy, Give it a tackle!?

    ?Pooch!!!!? The Pokemon screamed hurling it?s self towards the small worm.

    ?Wurmple! String Shot!? May screamed

    ?Wurmple!!!!!!!? The Pokemon cried while a white beam came from it?s tail.

    ?Pooooochyena!!? The Pokemon Screamed while being covered in this wrap.

    ?Good Job Wurmple! Now Poison Sting!? May ordered

    ?Wurrrm? The Pokemon replied while shooting little quils at the enemy!?

    ?POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCHYENEA!!!!? The Pokemon Growled, on it?s own?

    ?Wurrmple!? The Pokemon Growled back, mocking the pooch.

    As Pooochyena got up.. it fell back down, it was wiped out from the battling.

    ?Return Poochy!? AHHH Your Wurmple is Crazy!!Let?s get out of here!? The Grunt Yelled, Grabbing the Poor creature and running.

    ?Wurrm?? The Pokemon cried happily.

    Wurmple, doing a good job? turned white.. It was evolving.

    ?Wurrmmmple!? It said while turning white?

    ?May! Your Wurmple? Veronica said

    ?Oh My! Wurmple!? May screamed in joy

    The Pokemon Let out a yell

    ?Silllllll? The Pokemon cried

    Veronica got out her Pokedex

    ?Silcoon, the Cocoon Pokemon, Silcoon tethers itself to a tree branch sing silk to keep it from falling. There, this pokemon hangs quietly while it awaits evolution.? The Machine replied

    ?Congratulations May!? Brendan said

    ?Woah!! I have a Silcoon!? May said

    The Bus Driver came up to the crew thanking them

    ?Thank you so much, without you three, I don?t know what would have happened! I?m seriously in your debt. Listen, I want you to have this? The Bus Driver said Happily handing them over a small Machine.

    ?It?s called the Berry-Tag, It categorizes and describes your berries? He went on

    ?Thank you so Much, how far is Petalburg City from here?? May Asked.

    ?A Half-Hour on the bus, but if you three are going to walk, maybe an hour and a half.? The Bus driver said.

    ?I think we?ll walk? Veronica said

    ?Yes, We?ll walk? Brendan said After her

    ?Okay, Then Take care? The Bus driver said.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    That was a good chapter. Has some good excitment and seem you following the pokemon they get in the show(well the chracter that are in the show that is).

    Ok i know this is not about the story but i looked at Nick's sig and wound what does he mean by riping off Dizzyand all the red letters?
     
    I looked the chapter also. The first taste of evil...OoOoO

    Well, the sig thing, if you look at Dizzy's sig, you will see it says somehting about kayleigh, so I copied off that idea.
     
    LOL Gee thanks I dont think my story is good enough for PC, other people wont reply... -_-.. If it sucks just tell me you other people...
     
    ^_^ Thanks for all the feedback.. Now for the next installment.
     
    Okay Here's the Pokemon Caught and Progress of their Journey


    Veronica - Vulpix (Female)

    May - Mudkip

    Brendan - Treecko

    Who Knows what pokemon they'll catch next.
     
    Flannery will now start her Tour Around Hoenn... Maybe the Heroes will meet this lovely girl. Next Chapter-- Gotcha!
     
    Hmm, this is the second fic I've reviewd today with script elements in it. Must be popular round these neck of the woods. Anyways, for the review:
    Since it's part script-fic, I can't really review the main bits associated in fics like description and length, since they are stereotypically non-existant in these type of fics. This one was a nice change as you did actually give description for some of the things. More would have been nicer, but it's a script fic... and you can't change that. It was also a decent length, compared to may script fics that are just about a couple of lines. The only real problem was past present mix-up. When somebody was talking, you were speaking in the past tense. When you reverted to script form, you started talking in the present. Here's an example.The bold bits are past, and the underlined bits are present:

    Dizzy said:
    "Yay, they probably want me to walk their Poochy again... I don't like Dogs..." She said, thinking of a time when a Mightyena bit her..

    -Veronica walks down to the Lab, grabbing her bag, and lab coat
    Click to expand...

    The script form could have been: -Veronica walked down to the Lab, and grabbed her bag and lab coat.

    Well, apart from a few punctuation mistakes that people have already mentioned, this seems fine. It's basically just the past-present mix up you need to worry about, and more description... but that's just me personally. :D
     
    Thank you for reviewing it, Do you really like my story?
     
    I suppose the plot's OK (I knew I forgot something). I like how Flannery is this super-mega-star thing, and I also like how Veronica got a Vulpix instead of one of the starters, Dratini/Larvitar/Bagon/Beldum or Eevee - it was a nice change. Yeah, the storyline seems to be coming along nicely

    ~ MCD
     
    Thank you very much! I wanted to make a classical story (without making a new region which might confuse the reader, but making it easy so they know what I'm doing, and also corresponds to the Games) with new Characters as well as Old Characters, New personalities (Flannery is a Pop-Star and May is a Researcher, Steven is the Head of Devon Corp now) But it takes place in the Same time period as Ruby and Sapphire. You'll see lots of surprises too ^_^.
     
    Does anyone else have any Comments?

    Jesus it's like no even reads my **** ever, i read other people's and post in their threads butt hey dont return the favor, What's this world coming to?
     
    I reading it.
    It look pretty good, I am waiting for more.
     
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