Ashes of War

OokamiShipper

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    Well, I was kinda bored, so I figured I'd post a poem here. x3
    It's kinda cliched and cheesy, but I had fun writing this, so yeah. xD
    Constructive criticism is more than welcomed. ^^

    Ashes of War:
    You aren't able to see much during war,
    You're blinded mostly by blood and gore.
    In war, peace is something always left to be desired,
    But maintaining hope and faith will keep us higher.
    The ashes of war will always sting,
    And death will always be an incessant ring.
    But never forget those who were lost,
    Never forget how much their lives cost.
    Even if the bitter words taste vile,
    Never forget how to smile.
    You know that shouts of anger are always heard,
    You know that yells for help are considered absurd.
    Why do we fight for evanescent peace?
    When only more hate will be released?
    This will always be natural to us,
    And it'll always be dominating our consensus.
    We can always smell death in the air,
    We can't see it, though we know it's there.
    But we want peace for those who come after,
    To let them at least hear some of our laughter.
     
    There are the occasional parts that don't make quite much sense.
    Yet, you made a excellent piece of poetry and made it easy to understand.
    If it was shown here about a week ago, I would have guessed it would be in honor of Memorial Day (I wrote one called "Our Soldiers' Honor").
    Oh well, even so, it still is fascinating.
     
    This piece of poetry is pretty nice but there are some spelling errors in it.

    Can t to can't
    It s to it's

    Other than that it is a great poem!
     
    It's a very captivating poem. I think you did really well. I'd like to read more of your poems. I'd criticise, but I can't find anything to criticise!!!!
     
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