Comic I made

[Midnightviper1]

Heres my first comic I made on my own time, Ive notice how all the other pokemon sprite comics go according to the games, or the shows, well im trying to make my different : D
so enjoy.




Please leave feedback,
-Scripting maybe?
-Possible jokes for future comics.
-maybe some sprites i could possibly use.

Please Note -
-The story is basically, The hero stealing his fathers pokemon,A Charmeleon, which was left behind. while this comic only shows this battle, I need help on more of the story.

 

[Superjub]

Heres my first comic I made on my own time, Ive notice how all the other pokemon sprite comics go according to the games, or the shows, well im trying to make my different : D
so enjoy.




Please leave feedback,
-Scripting maybe?
-Possible jokes for future comics.
-maybe some sprites i could possibly use.

Please Note -
-The story is basically, The hero stealing his fathers pokemon,A Charmeleon, which was left behind. while this comic only shows this battle, I need help on more of the story.

The first problem I noticed was that you're using D/P overworlds and R/S overworlds. They don't go together. So, I searched for a Brendan D/P sprite for you and:

However, if you use this, give credit to the original author (DaS.) Also, the plot is simple... at the moment. It could have been more eventful, and we could have at least been introduced to these characters. Also, there is a typo on the fifth slide (it says unstopple instead of unstoppable.) On the other hand, we rarely see comic's anymore, so it is nice to see a new one. :)

 

[Chizzy]

It's very nice to see a new comic, hopefully you can improve and make something out of it!

I like that this comic isn't the generic 'OMG I haz pokemon GYM GYM GYM' advernture storyline and has something as more of a backbone to it, however there are some things that i'd just mention in order to give you some ideas for improvement in the future!

First of all, there is the Overworld situation, but that's been already pointed out!
Next there is the use of battle sprites in the overworld; i'd say search for a big sprite sheet that I used to have somewhere with nearly all the Pokemon's overworld sprites on it, they just go better in the overworld and look better.
Then i'd say the speech bubbles are a bit weak, I don't really like them and again would probably look at the same sort of speech bubbles that have been used in past comics, (i'll try and hunt these down for you), and I'd also probably make sure your font is Verdana, size 7 or 8; it's a neat font and saves space.
I'd say you should continue to build your story from here, but make sure you don't leave the background to the story hidden for too long.

Good luck to you!