Introduction
This story is set in a brand new made-up Region. It is called the Malyra Region. The story takes place a few years after the events of pokemon Platinum. The Malyra region has lots of plantlife, and there are pokemon from all around the world here. There are three oceans surrounding Malyra, and there is a oute directly to the Sinnoh region The oceans are called the Kyogratic Ocean, The Manaphian sea, and The Palkian Straits. Our story is focused on a young Boy named Adam, living in the town of Cathyle, in the North-western area of Malyra. His friends are leaving for their pokemon journey soon, but Adams parents have said they want him to be a Diplomat, so he will finish his last week of battling and co-ordination school and then go to a university for regional peace. Our hero is currently in school, Spending his last few days there enjoying himself...
Chapter 1; Storm of Shock
The Arcanine rushed at The Kingdra, but It's trainer was ready for this. 'Kingdra, use Hydro Pump!' normally an Arcanine would easily be able to dodge this, but as it realised what was happening, It skidded to a halt all to late. The column of water Slammed into it, and it was sent flying against the wall. Soaked and tired, it gave out a final whine of defeat. Suddenly, the entire arena Fizzed and blacked out.
Mrs Adriata frowned and picked up the remote. She tapped the on button, but nothing happened. She appeared to be in deep thought, when all of the lights turned off. A short scream from a girl at the back of the class ended abruptly as she realised nothing was happening. she giggled sheepishly and looked in her backpack for a volbeat Torch. She turned it on, and the class realised the teacher wasn't there. Adam cautiously walked over to the door, barely daring to breathe. He opened it, and He called back to the class 'She's out here. She seems to have fainted. I'll try and wake her up.' Adam shook Mrs Adriata by the shoulder, and she groggily woke up.
'what happened? Adam, what happened? The TV went blank and...' She fainted again. The headmaster appeared in the hallway, with a Mismagius by his side. 'OK everyone. that's enough. Mrs Adriata will be awake shortly. Why don't you all go home and get ready for the festival tommorrow?' Adam slapped his head as other students peeked around the door. when they decided it as safe, they all walked to the doors. no-one dared misbehave in front of Mr Everest. They were scared of him. 'I heard he used his Mismagius to give Jeremy Anders a dreadful headache just for not being able to tell him all of the types of pokemon to him,' one gossip whispered to the nearest person who would listen.
Adam walked home while feeling stupid, He'd totally forgotten tommorrow was when all of the trainers got their starter pokemon. Professer Maple had starters from all over the world, and Adams friends were all getting one tommorow. But he wasn't. Professer Maple really liked Adam, and she was dissapointed that Adam wasn't going on a journey. She ha said to him 'you'd be an amazing trainer. It's not fair that the world of Pokemon is missing out on your talents.' She had spoken to his mother about it that night and came out of the room all giggly. When Adam asked why she just said 'You can't go. Yet.' Adam thought she meant to the university, so he went upstairs and got his Pyjamas on, and jumped into bed.
The next morning. He was at the ceremony, getting a pokeball, Professer Maple was laughing and told him this is what his mother had told her, his Mum and Dad were smiling. He opened the pokeball, a huge flash of white light, and a red beam of energy zapped onto the ground. His new Pokemon was... Suddenly, Adam snapped awake. A loud Crash had awakened him. He dashed outside before his parents could get their dressing gowns on. There, lying on the road, was a small, blue , yellow, and red Pokemon and huge teeth. A Totodile. Adam rushed over towards it, Praying it was alive. He picked it up and brought it inside. Adam started shouting. ' Mum! Dad! There's a Totodile on the road!' Adam's father, who had never really seen a real pokemon before Dashed down the stairs and gasped in awe. His mother stood at the top of the stairs, and gave a sigh. Adam couldn't tell what it was; a sigh of relief, annoyance, anything? But as he was wondering this, his mother promptly fainted.
For the rest of the night, Adam kept the Totodile in a bath of water, and it slowly seemed to be recovering. As it got used to it;s surroundings, it sterted to paddle around in the Tub, and soon, it was laughing and enjoying itself. Adam Didn't take his eye off it for one minute. He was so concerned, that he hadn't heard the door to the house opening. He hadn't heard some people creeping up the stairs. He din't notice Professer Maple and his parents pep around the door. 'Adam'. He looked up, and the Totodile looked up too.
The next day, Adam was asleep in bed, and the Totodile was laying on him. He yawned and woke up, and looked at the Sleeping Totodile. A huge and ecstatic smile spread across his face. Today he was leaving for his pokemon adventure with Totodile. His parents had saw that for him, a diplomat was no life. They had agreed to let him go, but only if Totodile was willing to go on the adventure. He waited anxiously for it to wake up.
what do you think of the first part of my story? Please comment, constructive criticism only, it can't be bad if it can't be improved, so if you do have criticism, please state how I can improve on it. Thanks guys!
This story is set in a brand new made-up Region. It is called the Malyra Region. The story takes place a few years after the events of pokemon Platinum. The Malyra region has lots of plantlife, and there are pokemon from all around the world here. There are three oceans surrounding Malyra, and there is a oute directly to the Sinnoh region The oceans are called the Kyogratic Ocean, The Manaphian sea, and The Palkian Straits. Our story is focused on a young Boy named Adam, living in the town of Cathyle, in the North-western area of Malyra. His friends are leaving for their pokemon journey soon, but Adams parents have said they want him to be a Diplomat, so he will finish his last week of battling and co-ordination school and then go to a university for regional peace. Our hero is currently in school, Spending his last few days there enjoying himself...
Chapter 1; Storm of Shock
The Arcanine rushed at The Kingdra, but It's trainer was ready for this. 'Kingdra, use Hydro Pump!' normally an Arcanine would easily be able to dodge this, but as it realised what was happening, It skidded to a halt all to late. The column of water Slammed into it, and it was sent flying against the wall. Soaked and tired, it gave out a final whine of defeat. Suddenly, the entire arena Fizzed and blacked out.
Mrs Adriata frowned and picked up the remote. She tapped the on button, but nothing happened. She appeared to be in deep thought, when all of the lights turned off. A short scream from a girl at the back of the class ended abruptly as she realised nothing was happening. she giggled sheepishly and looked in her backpack for a volbeat Torch. She turned it on, and the class realised the teacher wasn't there. Adam cautiously walked over to the door, barely daring to breathe. He opened it, and He called back to the class 'She's out here. She seems to have fainted. I'll try and wake her up.' Adam shook Mrs Adriata by the shoulder, and she groggily woke up.
'what happened? Adam, what happened? The TV went blank and...' She fainted again. The headmaster appeared in the hallway, with a Mismagius by his side. 'OK everyone. that's enough. Mrs Adriata will be awake shortly. Why don't you all go home and get ready for the festival tommorrow?' Adam slapped his head as other students peeked around the door. when they decided it as safe, they all walked to the doors. no-one dared misbehave in front of Mr Everest. They were scared of him. 'I heard he used his Mismagius to give Jeremy Anders a dreadful headache just for not being able to tell him all of the types of pokemon to him,' one gossip whispered to the nearest person who would listen.
Adam walked home while feeling stupid, He'd totally forgotten tommorrow was when all of the trainers got their starter pokemon. Professer Maple had starters from all over the world, and Adams friends were all getting one tommorow. But he wasn't. Professer Maple really liked Adam, and she was dissapointed that Adam wasn't going on a journey. She ha said to him 'you'd be an amazing trainer. It's not fair that the world of Pokemon is missing out on your talents.' She had spoken to his mother about it that night and came out of the room all giggly. When Adam asked why she just said 'You can't go. Yet.' Adam thought she meant to the university, so he went upstairs and got his Pyjamas on, and jumped into bed.
The next morning. He was at the ceremony, getting a pokeball, Professer Maple was laughing and told him this is what his mother had told her, his Mum and Dad were smiling. He opened the pokeball, a huge flash of white light, and a red beam of energy zapped onto the ground. His new Pokemon was... Suddenly, Adam snapped awake. A loud Crash had awakened him. He dashed outside before his parents could get their dressing gowns on. There, lying on the road, was a small, blue , yellow, and red Pokemon and huge teeth. A Totodile. Adam rushed over towards it, Praying it was alive. He picked it up and brought it inside. Adam started shouting. ' Mum! Dad! There's a Totodile on the road!' Adam's father, who had never really seen a real pokemon before Dashed down the stairs and gasped in awe. His mother stood at the top of the stairs, and gave a sigh. Adam couldn't tell what it was; a sigh of relief, annoyance, anything? But as he was wondering this, his mother promptly fainted.
For the rest of the night, Adam kept the Totodile in a bath of water, and it slowly seemed to be recovering. As it got used to it;s surroundings, it sterted to paddle around in the Tub, and soon, it was laughing and enjoying itself. Adam Didn't take his eye off it for one minute. He was so concerned, that he hadn't heard the door to the house opening. He hadn't heard some people creeping up the stairs. He din't notice Professer Maple and his parents pep around the door. 'Adam'. He looked up, and the Totodile looked up too.
The next day, Adam was asleep in bed, and the Totodile was laying on him. He yawned and woke up, and looked at the Sleeping Totodile. A huge and ecstatic smile spread across his face. Today he was leaving for his pokemon adventure with Totodile. His parents had saw that for him, a diplomat was no life. They had agreed to let him go, but only if Totodile was willing to go on the adventure. He waited anxiously for it to wake up.
what do you think of the first part of my story? Please comment, constructive criticism only, it can't be bad if it can't be improved, so if you do have criticism, please state how I can improve on it. Thanks guys!
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