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Diamond of Poetry

Exams
It was the pre-war night,
I slept feeling undaunted.
I dreamt scenes of imaginary fight.
Time passed and soon, it had started.

So I armed myself and headed into the battlefield,
With only a supply of knowledge and a strong will.
Holding a book as a shield,
And wielding my sword with skill.

They came in hordes, they came by the dozens.
But I stab and slash through every one of them.
I did not give up nor fumble my actions.
Through and through, I was almost done.

I saw the giant, its footsteps sounded its entrance before.
It was horrible, destructive and terrorising.
I dealt the finishing blow that would end this war.
Then the teacher announced, "Stop writing."
 
This poem is just...awesome. I love it a lot
The metaphor between an exam and an actual war works very well.
The rhythm and rhyming aren't perfect, but I still found them enjoyable. I can't really point out any details here, but still.
Great job!
 
Dance of the Dragons
There was a humming in the air, a rhythmic beat.
They started off, slowly in sync.
A silent bond, an unsaid connection.
Mirroring each other, neither had to think.

He was as golden as the blazing sun with majestic wings.
She was sleek blue with eyes that made the clouds not fair.
Together they looped and intertwined around each other,
As they soared and glided in the air.

Winds howled past them, seeming to cheer them on,
As they shot upwards to the ether of the sky.
In the stratosphere, their eyes locked in a gaze.
That said, "Forever together, you and I."

They return to the earth as fast as they left it.
As if on cue, both started to spin at the speed of sound.
Two dragon tornadoes, golden orange and turquoise blue.
In an endless cycle, an ancient ritual, going round and round.

Then the sky turned overcast and foreboding.
Clouds became shrouds and shades of ominous purples.
Tiny raindrops showered and poured down,
Causing the lake nearby to erupt in ripples.

The dragons took off and sought refuge in a cave.
He unfurled his wings to shelter her
From the drops of water that might splash in.
She leaned against his body in the moment's spur.

By the time the storm passed, they were fast asleep.
Their earlier dance, a ritual of faith and love, an act.
Tails coiled, wings draped and eyes closed.
In their minds, both dragons sealed a promise and a lifelong pact.

Some images which I found on Google and thought that they somewhat fit this poem. :)
Spoiler:


Poetry Notes:
Spoiler:
 
That's actually a pretty clever idea for poetry. I really enjoyed it.
Any criticisms? Well, I didn't appreciate how long each line is and how they were a little uneven. Making it's flow hard to follow.
I do like how you described the events. It makes it easy for us to visualize it in our minds.
Overall, you did a very good job on this one!
I give it a definite thumbs up!
 
Water

Invaluable,
Essence of earthly beings,
Precious source of life.

Through the rays of light,
Like a prism breaking up,
The rainbow's colours.

Creator of rain,
Lakes, seas, oceans and ponds,
It makes the sky blue.

Torrential waters,
Raging floods upon the earth,
Anger drowns the land.

This is my first time constructing a haiku. Much critique would be loved. :)
Human Canvas
Painfully-placed lines,
Carefully-drawn strokes.
Secluded from the world,
A piece of art is born.
Every line, stroke and drawing,
Holds deep dark memories.
A palette of turmoil and emotions.
Rare high-quality grade paint,
Colours the voids of lines and curves,
Trickling smoothly unlike any other brand.
Vibrant vermilion and mellow maroon,
Copious crimson and striking scarlet.
The colours dry, leaving behind fierce scars
To be forever left as a mark of suffering,
A symbol of depression.

If anyone can guess what the topic this free-verse poem is addressing, that I salute you. I used to be like the artist in the poem, but I got over it a few years back. :)
 ​
 
I pretty good Haiku for your first one. I love Haiku too.
Now I noticed a couple things though. One, the word "invaluable" has 4 syllables. Not 5. But I understand why you used it. It's a pretty tricky mistake.
And two, "Lakes, seas, oceans, and ponds" only adds to 6 syllables. Not 7.
But anyway, aside those two points, this is a very good haiku. And it's concept is very matching. Plus, it's your first one, so I'll go easy.


Hmmm.....I can't seem to recall the artist you're describing. But the idea of painting through your emotions does seem to ring a bell to me.
The poem itself is great! I love how the different methods of art, as well as the colors, are described. It awakens your senses of visual art. And this is all done by words. That is quite a feat.
Bottom line, you did great! Keep on goin'!
 
TJgamer said:
I pretty good Haiku for your first one. I love Haiku too.
Now I noticed a couple things though. One, the word "invaluable" has 4 syllables. Not 5. But I understand why you used it. It's a pretty tricky mistake.
And two, "Lakes, seas, oceans, and ponds" only adds to 6 syllables. Not 7.
But anyway, aside those two points, this is a very good haiku. And it's concept is very matching. Plus, it's your first one, so I'll go easy.


Hmmm.....I can't seem to recall the artist you're describing. But the idea of painting through your emotions does seem to ring a bell to me.
The poem itself is great! I love how the different methods of art, as well as the colors, are described. It awakens your senses of visual art. And this is all done by words. That is quite a feat.
Bottom line, you did great! Keep on goin'!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the critique on the haiku. Yeah, I just realized my mistakes, must have miscounted the syllables while writing. XD

Actually, the inspiration of that topic is the issue on self-cutting. The 'artist' is actually someone who carves into their own flesh. Which is why I made the colours of the so-called 'paint' (blood) all different shades of red. I saw a painting elaborated by an artist on this situation and it piqued me to write this. The painting depicted a girl with intricate drawings and lines all over her body like a realistic drawing but the difference, is that her emotions and the appearance of a knife and blood. :3
 
If This Was A Movie

If this was a movIe,
You'd have come to me.

If this was a movie,
EveryoNe would looK at us in envy.

If tHis was a movie,
We would be a bird and a bEe.

If this was a movie,
I'd do Anything to make you happy.

If this was a movie,
A peRfect couple, we will be.

I think know where you belong, it's with me.
Have you ever Thought just maybe, you belong with me?

(There are NO spelling errors. ;) )
 
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Now this idea is clever. What romance would be like if we were in a movie.
And yes, no spelling errors. Good job! But just like Ink Heart said, there should be an "I" between "think" and "know".

Oh, and nice job on that little secret message with the capitalization errors. Love it!
(To anyone else who is reading this post, find the secret yourself. It's easy.)
 
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