[Poetry] Flying High

[Alpha Centauri]

This is one of my first attempts at poetry, so I'm sorry if it's not very good. But hopefully it's not totally crap!

Flying High

Above the fields of Hyrule
flies Zelda on her lavender unicorn
With her golden hair flowing in the breeze
and her unicorn's tail gently flowing behind.

Her crystal blue eyes, perpetually alert and loving,
survey her vast land below
as she gazes fondly on the kingdom
her father entrusted to her care.

Zelda's heart swells with pride
as she continues her journey
and sees her people happy and working hard
upon the landscape lush with new spring grass.

As long as she lives, Zelda vows,
she will do all she can to protect her lovely land.
And with her faithful unicorn perpetually by her side,
she will be able to do just that.

 

[ShivaDF]

I don't know much about Legend of Zelda, but I can try and edit this poem. There's no need to capitalize the first letter of every line. For instance, it could be:

And with her faithful unicorn perpetually by her side,
she will be able to do just that.

Other than that, I find the word "navigating" to be awkward. Since it's freeform, and you're describing a landscape, maybe you could use "flowing?"
Sorry that I couldn't think of too much to say.

 

[Alpha Centauri]

Yes, "flowing" definitely fits better! Thank you! Sometimes I just can't think of the right word to say exactly what I'm thinking. And I do agree with you about the capital letters. It looks better when not every lime starts with a capital letter. Thank you very much for your feedback! I really appreciate it.