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Gamemaster

Dizzy

My Father is a Baron!
  • 6,377
    Posts
    21
    Years
    Gamemaster


    Gamemaster is the story of the journey of a girl named Veronica. It takes place during the Ruby and Sapphire Arc (It has nothing to do with the Manga, even though it may borrow some events and stories from the Manga.) She is from the city of Violet, in Johto, but wars and conflict force her and her family to move to the East, a Country called Kanto. Along the way, her father goes missing as well as her Pok?mon, She is forced to start over. Once she gets to Kanto, she lives with her mother in the town of Pallet, hometown of the world?s greatest champions (Red, Green, and Blue.) The world isn?t the way it once was, people are greedy and corruptive, and add along to the world?s biggest problem, Team Rocket. Read on, and you?ll see what happens in her story.


    Prologue:​

    April 26th 2003

    Hello! My name is Veronica Da Eau (hehe, It translates to Veronica of the Water, if you didn?t know.) I?m from Violet City. I am going to turn 12 next weekend! I?m really excited, but bad things have been happening in Johto lately. The War of the Elements has begun, and the impact it had on Johto was awful! The other day, I overheard my Mother and Father talking about moving over to Kanto, my best friend Brendan, and his mother are moving to Hoenn. Him and I had to be withdrawn from school, because of this. I don?t know if I?ll be home for my birthday, but whatever happens, my Pok?mon will always be with me. My Pok?mon team consists of, Vulpix, Butterfree, and Horsea. I got Vulpix for my 8th birthday, it?s been my best friend forever, Butterfree was just a Caterpie when we caught it at the entrance of the city. Horsea, I caught one day along with my father at the Whirl Islands, he was looking for some mysterious creature, I don?t know the name of it, but it looks like a Dragon. My Pok?mon mean the world to me, If I ever lost one, I would cry my eyes out and sink into a depression. But I won?t think about that, I have far worse things to think about. Like moving to a whole new area?

    Veronica




    Chapter I: The Escape​

    It was late at night, the sky was painted dark blue, and stars made their way through the sky. In the center sat the moon, shining brightly, bathing the world with it?s gentle light. All you could hear was the quiet night.

    ?Wake up, Veronica? A woman said quietly, making sure not to be heard anywhere outside this room.

    ?Mother, you know that it?s 3AM!? The girl replied to her mother, sitting up. Veronica sat up, and looked at the clock. ?Oh Veronica, don?t be so bitter? Her mother replied. The girl went furious. ?What?s not to be bitter about, you just woke me up in the middle of the night, but?for what? The girl mumbled.
    ?Well, I know that day you over-heard your father and I, well, tonight, we?re leaving for Kanto. Johto isn?t safe anymore honey, we have to get out of here before any of us get hurt. I already talked to Brendan?s mother, and they are leaving also. The only thing we can do right now, is get everything we need, and leave home.? Her mother explained to her.

    ?You forgot, and pray for the rest of the people who are brave enough to stay here, Mother.? Veronica sharply replied, correcting her mother. ?And pray, Veronica you didn?t need to correct me! Well, I think you should pack all your clothes and get your Pok?mon and anything else you may need, we won?t be coming back, unfortunately? She said to her daughter, sighing, and leaving the girl alone in her room.

    ?This totally sucks, and at what time, again? Whatever, I might as well just do what she says.? Veronica said to herself, gathering everything she needed.

    ?You have everything, honey?? A man said, walking into Veronica?s room. Veronica paused. ?Yeah, Dad, I?m just getting my Pok?mon now!? Veronica replied to her father.

    ?Well, that?s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about, I caught you a new Pok?mon!? Her father said to her handing her a Pok?ball. This Pok?ball was different though, it appeared to be made out of a stronger metal then the regular Pok?balls were made from, it was Silver on the top, and dark blue on the bottom. ?That there is a Night Ball! It catches all the nocturnal Pok?mon at ease.? Her father explained.
    She took the ball from him. ?Wow! Thank you, Dad, you?re the greatest!? The girl told her father.

    ?Well, aren?t you going to open it?? Her father asked. The girl had a blank look on her face. ?Yes, I am. I wonder what kind of Pok?mon it is.? The girl replied to her father in an excited way. ?Alright, then, I?ll leave you to do so. I hope you like it, this took a lot out of me!? Her father said, exiting the room.

    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    ?Well? I wonder what?s in it?? Veronica said

    ?Pok?ball, Go!? She yelled out throwing the sphere.

    Before taking its shape, the pok?ball let out a out a green and yellow light, brightening the whole room. The energy beam finally took its shape, as a Nidoran ♀. Not just any Nidoran ♀, a Shiny one! ?Oh my goodness, your just the cutest thing! You look so pretty in purple! Said Veronica.

    The Pok?mon held an item, it was a note for Veronica.
    The Pok?mon smiled, and jumped into Veronica?s arms, grinning about making a new friend, and looking at the note Veronica had just taken from her. ?Dear Veronica, I hope you like your new Nidoran, it?s not your average Nidoran! I just wanted to say take care on your journey with this new Pok?mon! Love, Dad.? Veronica read out

    ?Your going to be a great friend, Nidoran, I know it! I?m going to nickname you, would you like that?? Veronica replied. The Pok?mon smiled and nodded. ?Alright! I?ll call you Latona! Latona was the goddess of the twins, she bore Phoebus and Diana! You seem like a perfect ?Latona? to me!? Veronica said in excitement. The Pok?mon jumped for joy, being very friendly to her owner.

    ?Well, I think we should go downstairs, Latona! Latona! Return? Veronica commanded. Veronica opened the door, and walked down a hall, reaching the stairs. Before she went down the stairs, she paused and stared at a family Photo, which showed Her father, her mother, herself and the family?s pet Growlithe, which had to be put to sleep two years previously. ?Oh Growlithe.? Veronica said, sadly.

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    ?Take a good look at this house, we won?t be back?? Veronica?s father said, to the family

    ?So many times we had in Johto, it?s a shame we have to leave? Her mother said. Her mother looking sad, and ready to breakdown turned away from the house. ?Well, what do we do from here?? Veronica asked her parents. ?We have to take a boat to Kanto from here. The boat leaves New Bark Town tomorrow evening, so we must hurry.? Her mother replied. ?I never really been to Kanto, except for that time?? Veronica?s mother said. ?Please, Mom, I thought we wouldn?t mention that!? Veronica said, yelling.
    ?Well, It would have never happened if that awful Pok?mon didn?t bite it? Her mother yelled back.

    ?You mean that Gyarados?? Veronica said. Two years before, in the pond north of Violet City, a Gyarados lurked. Her mother and the Arcanine she owned battled the Gyarados, but in a poisonous bite, Arcanine was badly poisoned by this mysterious Gyarados.
    ?Aww, Veronica?? Her mother said, while hugging her daughter. ?You guys, are we going to get going? Time is very crucial if we want to leave.? Her father demanded. ?Yes, let?s get going!? Veronica said.

    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Well does anyone like it? Now open for comments.

    Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone
    Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time
    Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home
    And experience of this place to visit and play with reality
    You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster
    Lost Tribe - Gamemaster
     
    Last edited:
    Hmm, pretty good. I like, and I think the advice that everyone was giving paid off. It's less confusing as the others. The only things I didn't like was more than one character having dialogue in one paragraph, that always annoys me. Besides that, like I said, I like this, good job.
     
    Chapter II

    Upon leaving Violet City, our heroine, Veronica is now venturing closer and closer to Kanto.

    Chapter II: Once in a Blue Moon​




    It was cold out, the sun had just risen, but something didn?t feel right. The wind blew in the opposite direction, it was a cold wind, it wasn?t natural. The sun hung over the world, exerting its wonderful, warm light evenly.

    ?How much longer to Cherrygrove City, Mom?? Veronica asked. She was a girl of blue eyes and light brown hair. She was kind of tall, and always wore jeans. People called her the fashion queen, but that was a long time ago.

    ?It shouldn?t be much longer.? Her mother replied. ?I mean, it?s not far from Violet City, and we haven?t been walking all this time for nothing.? She kept going.

    ?Well? I know a shortcut! Me and Brendan took it one time to get to Cherrygrove City because of that errand the headmaster had us do.? Veronica exclaimed, pointing to an unstable ledge.

    ??Oh dear, I don?t want to take any of your shortcuts, Veronica?? Her mother said with an attitude. ?Let?s ask your?? She went on, turning around looking for Veronica?s father. ??Father?? she let out. ?Veronica?did you see where your father went?? Her mother asked.

    ??No?Where is he?? Veronica replied, looking around.

    ?I don?t know, that?s why I was asking you!? Her mother yelled back. ?We have to look for him, we don?t have much time till the boat leaves New Bark...? Her mother exclaimed. ?Call out Butterfree and have her look around for him!? Her mother screamed in panic.

    ?Alright!? Veronica answered back, rummaging through her backpack looking for her Pok?balls. ?Oh No!? They aren?t here! Where are my Pok?mon!? She screamed out.

    ?This is so odd! You?re father missing, your Pok?mon gone too, what gives!? Veronica?s mother said angrily. ?We can?t let this bother us, we have to keep going Veronica?? Her mother ordered.

    ?Wait! I have one Pok?ball, the one Dad gave me last night.? Veronica exclaimed. ?Come on out! Latona!? She called out? She threw the Pok?ball and a small little purple creature emerged from it. It jumped into Veronica?s arms, happy to see it?s owner.

    ?Well isn?t that a cute Pok?mon!? Her mother said. ?But I thought Nidoran Females were blue?not purple!? Her mother pointed out.

    ?Daddy said It was a Shiny Pok?mon, you can tell because it shines when it comes out of it?s Pok?ball!? She explained.

    ?Well, isn?t that something!? Her mother answered. ?But I really think we should get going, Cherrygrove isn?t that far from here?we should really start heading there.? Her mother exclaimed.

    ?I hope he?s safe, if anything happened I don?t know what I?d do? Veronica said. Her and Her mother walked off towards the City?
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    Meanwhile?

    ?I hope I didn?t leave them so suddenly.? A man said, looking at Veronica and her mother. ?I really shouldn?t have taken all her Pok?mon but it?s the only way she?d understand? Now I have to change into my uniform.? The man went on, holding 3 Pok?balls, putting them into a bag, and changing into a Uniform.
    The Uniform was all black, the man wore boots and gloves of white though. He had a black cap, and a face covering like as used from burglars, He had a large red ?R? on his chest.

    ?My family, they?d never approve of this, but all I can say is ?Welcome to ****?? The man said, and then he mysteriously disappeared.

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    Back to Veronica?


    ?Well it looks like we reached Cherrygrove City!? Veronica?s mother said. ?We can finally rest.? She went on, looking for a Pok?mon Center. ?If we go there now, we can continue to New Bark by Ground-Carriage!? Her mother explained.

    ?Ground Carriage? what?s that?? Veronica asked.

    ?Well, its like a pulled carriage, but instead of being pulled by a land Pok?mon, a ground-type that knows dig pulls it from underground! Isn?t that convenient!? Her mother explained to her, pointed over at the station.

    ?Sounds interesting, let?s do it!? Veronica commanded.

    ?Sure! Let?s go now so we?re not late for the boat. This war is having such an affect on us?? Her mother said. They walked over to the Sky Carriage, and got in.

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    Review

    Description

    Very good!!!! Needs no improvment!

    Story Line

    Nice idea! Very original!

    Grammatical

    "It shouldn't be much longer." Her mother replied. "I mean, it's not far from Violet City, and we haven't been walking all this time for nothing." She kept going.
    When a sentence has a period like that, you make it a comma.
    There is is no need to capatalize that.

    "This is so odd! You're father missing, your Pok?mon gone too, what gives!" Veronica's mother said angrily. "We can't let this bother us, we have to keep going Veronica…"
    Make that a comma.

    Spelling

    None that I've really been nit picky about.

    Abskull's Nit Picks

    None! Congradulations!

    Overall

    I give you an A! It has a little mistakes which doesn't give it an A+ but it barely has any mistake which doesn't give it an A-!





     
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