[Pokémon] I Love My Momma [A Cubone POV]

[RainbowMunchies]

Cubone

Where have you gone Momma?

You are there, but not there.

Move!

I push you but you don't push back. Nothing to it.

Is this how it all will be? Things ending before they begin?

I love you Momma, but you do not know me. I do not know you.

But I want to know you. I want to know why you have left me.

I grow and I thrive on this mountainside Momma, and I watch you slowly disappear.

You do not make sounds Momma. I watch you day and night, but you make no sounds.

I want to know why the ball of gold above us shines so hard on your face.

Under the clouds, you take grotesque shapes. You move only slightly, and it is always down.

I want to know why the ball of white above us shines so soft on your face.

You are so beautiful at night Momma. Among the rocks and stars, your face is so pretty.

Why won't you speak to me? Open your eyes and share with me what I must know about this world.

Is it scary? Is it fun?

How do I make friends?

Who can I trust Momma? Will they all leave me like you did?

But now your eyes are gone Momma, and the food you left behind for me is gone Momma, and my patience is gone Momma.

I must leave you. I know this Momma, and it makes me so sad. So sad I cry all night, staring at your white bones in the light of the big white circle.

You must have loved me very much Momma, to have brought me into this world knowing it would take you away.

And now I have to leave you, just like you left me.

Even though I love you with all my heart, just like you loved me.

But you will always be with me Momma.

I will take you everywhere I go, because I just can't bear to leave you Momma. No matter what I say Momma, I can't stand to leave you.

Because I love you too much.

Too much to leave you lying here in the cold light of the big white circle.

And it isn't until I have pulled your skull over my own that I realize it.

You have never really left me.

Because you love me much too much Momma.

Too much to ever truly leave me alone.

 

[ChrisTom]

Wow. That was beautiful. It should've gone in the poetry section, but I don't care. That was so deep, and so sad. I love this imagery you've set up and the way the Cubone describes things. I love how you answered questions we don't normally get answers to. The reason Cubone wears his dead mother's skull is because he feels like he is taking a part of her with him so that she'll never have really gone. It's incredible how you did this, and it paints a wonderfully dramatic and said story with hardly any words at all. The golden ball and white circle seemed to show the passage of time, how this Cubone wanted to know his mother so badly, he stayed with her corpse night and day. My favorite lines were:

I will take you everywhere I go, because I just can't bear to leave you Momma. No matter what I say Momma, I can't stand to leave you.
Because I love you too much.
Too much to leave you lying here in the cold light of the big white circle.
And it isn't until I have pulled your skull over my own that I realize it.
You have never really left me.
Because you love me much too much Momma.
Too much to ever truly leave me alone.

(EDIT) and this part when I re-read it:

You are so beautiful at night Momma. Among the rocks and stars, your face is so pretty.

Really, that was beautiful. I just about cried. I can't wait to see more from an artist like you.

With all regards,

-ChrisTom

 

[CliveKoopa]

This poem is quite good. Is this the same Cubone whose mother was killed by Team Rocket in Red/Blue?

 

[RainbowMunchies]

@ChrisTom: Thank you very much, that really means a lot to me. Receiving both praising and detailed critique is more than I could have ever asked for on FFdotNet, and so it really makes me feel hopeful as far as posting stories on here goes. C: As for it's placement, I didn't realize that there were sections. ^^;; I just figured this part was "general" I suppose; sorry about that.

@CliveCoopa: No. I read somewhere that all cubone's mothers die at birth (which sort of contradicts Team Rockets killing of that one Cubone's mother now that I think of it...). This cubone is just one of many I could imagine, opening their eyes on the moutaintops to take in the world for the first time, and finding their mother lying dead not far away. ;n;

 

[ChrisTom]

I wish to make some illustrations based off of this wonderful piece of work and make an internet storybook out of them. Is that ok with you? I don't want you to be upset if I do this...

Here was my plan:

Spoiler:

Cover: Small Mountain at night with Cubone Sillohuette

First 4 lines: Cubone at 45 degree angle above, looking at the skeleton of a Marowak.

Next 2 lines: Close up of skull.

Next 3 lines: Large view of sandy mountain, and the cacti and trees that live in it, with Cubone looking back and forth, trying to make sense of it all.

Next 2 lines: Worms viewpoint of Cubone with the Sun overhead. A few sweatdrops can be seen.

Next 2 lines: Side view of Cubone looking slightly upwards. This view will show lots of stars and a smidge of moon.

Next 4 lines: Cubone is poking his head from behind a tree, as if he is scared of the viewer, yet curious.

Next 2 lines: Cubone is hugging the skeleton of his mother at nighttime from an overhead view.

Next 2 lines: Cubone looking down sadly and is starting to cry. Shows no bones.

Next 2 lines: Close up of Cubone hugging his mother and crying.

Next 2 lines: Birds Eye view of Cubone walking away with a bon in his hand (first time we see the bone) and you can see the Skeleton of his mom is missing one of it's femurs.

Next 3 lines: 45 degree angle from the left side of Cubone's face, showing moon in the background.

Last 2 lines: Shows Cubone about 10 yards away from the corpse, looking back.

I do want to change some lines (I hope we can do a wonderful partnership with this!) because If I don't, then the Cubone won't have his mask on, which is hard for me to do! I just wanted to somehow change the lines so that he's been wearing the mask for as long as he could remember. Maybe while his Mom is dying after giving birth she puts it on him? No, that wouldn't be right. Ooh! I got it! Change the third to the last line to this:

I realize why you told me to wear your skull before you went away Momma.

How is that? I just wanted to see if you would like for me to try this with you, and maybe if the revised edition looks good enough, we could repost it as a picture book on the Pokecommunity website! Does that sound cool with you? I hope You will like my drawings and ideas, and I hope to be in business with you soon!


With all regards,

-ChrisTom

 

[RainbowMunchies]

Omigosh ChrisTom, I'm so flattered! Of course I would love to collaborate on this with you. >w<

A few things:

It might be tricky reworking this into a story where his mother is already a skeleton in the beginning. He is watching her dissipating over time, so at first she would be whole, not a skeleton. This would mean he wouldn't be able to have the skull, at least until towards the end, when he tells how her eyes are gone. The donning of the skull is he realization that just as he would never leave his mother behind completely because of his love for her, she in turn would never truly leave him.

Maybe we should PM about this from now on though. I don't want to constantly update this thread with talk about something not pertaining to the story. XD

So yes, I would love to work together, but I think we need to work on some things dealing with this. Look forward to working with you!

 

[RainbowMunchies]

I don't follow...

But thank you. I am always willing to accept a compliment, however cryptic it may be. :P