Life loved free.

monkeyandhead

I didn't train to be a Pilot.
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    Just a little poem I wrote on the train, it's supposed to be one of those poems that you just sit back and enjoy (if you enjoy it), it really has no hidden deep meaning, the meaning is pretty clear. Comments appreciated : ).

    The old man sat there
    By the pond
    Near a tree,
    Autumn leaves had bloomed
    And the ducks roamed free

    He took his hand
    To a bag
    As he stared to the sky,
    Flew away the ducks
    he would of fed

    Days went by
    As clouds drifted through the sky,
    The leaves would move with the wind
    As smoothly as life could render them

    And as he looked
    Ducks swam through blue
    And into brown
    Where the fish were found

    And as he peer
    to the duck and salmon
    They would crash in water
    As if it were habit

    The old man sat there
    By the pond
    Near a tree
    Autumn leaves had bloomed
    And life loved free.
     
    On a train you say? That's very nice.

    The poem is great! It could use a bit of reworking on some of the lines, but that's just me.

    A poem that has a very clear meaning is a good change of pace. I love it when that happens.
     
    TJgamer said:
    On a train you say? That's very nice.

    The poem is great! It could use a bit of reworking on some of the lines, but that's just me.

    A poem that has a very clear meaning is a good change of pace. I love it when that happens.
    Click to expand...

    Yea I noticed that as well, some of the lines don't need to rhyme, while others would just make it run more smoothly. I might fix it up sooner or later, thanks for the idea.
     
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