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Love remains true.

Usul

Cease my heart beat's weave.
  • 84
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Seen Sep 1, 2013
    She wears a short skirt with a gorgeous bum,
    I slap her ass and turn her around eye to eye,
    Insulting me on a unbelieveable gorgeous way,
    With lovely please of caresses within my body,
    She graps my neck with my head teasingly,
    And pull it against her chest defiantly,
    While she push her legs naughtily around me,

    Almost on the line of out-clotching,
    My parents came along within the door,
    We pull ourselves ready and jump on the floor;
    On the ground we are standing demonstrably.

    They came inside asking what we're doing,
    I lay against the wall she sit on my bed,
    The question drives through our heads,
    But no, didn't said a word or making a move,
    My mother wasn't stupid enough to believe;
    Knowing that something was done before,
    She knew how I would feel in this situations,
    Or the emotions that I ressist to brust out,
    The words of their wisedom has spoken,

    She pull herself from the bed and walk down,
    To my sight laying her hands on my arms,
    And push a knee on my left-waist,
    Graping her knee up high,
    While her other knees came on my other side,
    Pulling her legs around my waist again yet again,
    Spouting her lips and looking insecure emotionable,
    Eye to eye contact as her eyes look questionable,
    And so beautiful like the moon on cloudless days,

    I lay my head up high and look Innocent in her;
    Beautiful eyes I was this time so shy to say a word,
    Her lips came closer as our eyes fall condensed,
    She left a mark of love on my lips so worthful,
    The way she make me feel so heavily alive,
    Our hearts bonds as one love connection,
    You make me feel so alive is like a Illusion,
    But you are real a thrill where I can dream,
    A feeling that will never get lost in time,
    My love remains true and as if this moment;
    I'm happily to say that I love you.
     
    Last edited:
    Yeah. Only she doesn't see me standing at all.
     
    You really ought to write something for this girl you like.
    Your talent never ceases to amaze!
     
    It's error finding time! >O
    She grap my neck with my head teasely,
    She grabs my neck with my head..... I don't think "teasely" is a word.. =( Could it have been teasingly?

    While she push her legs naughtly around me,
    Naughtily is how it should have been spelt.

    While she push her legs naughtly around me,
    While she pushes her legs naughtily around me,

    Uggh.. x_x There are too many such errors.. I checked the first paragraph completely, but listen, you should take care about your spellings and grammar. =(

    But anyway, I like the vivid descriptions and your true thoughts in this poem. Your usage of a wide variety of emotions is truly remarkable. The words used are pretty apt as well. I'd say, you definitely have the caliber to excel in poetry! ^_^
     
    Oh. And why?
    Please only comment about my English -> grammar and spelling if you actually know the story behind it.
    And as for the errors, I'll fix them.
    And thanks.
     
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