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If either of them felt it was a rip off they wouldnt have traded now would they?
Seriously, A shiny for a Lv 100 EV trained pokemon isnt an unfair trade when you factor in how rare shinies like chimchar are. They cant just be hunted for in the wild. yeah, they can be breed but that takes longer than walking in the wild to get a shiny. Same odds but it takes longer to hatch 1 egg than it does to go and encounter 1 wild pokemon.
Get over it. She beat you to it and he doesnt think what you offer is any better than her offer.