[Pokémon] Making Destiny - A New Beginning

Prince_McCovey_Pika

Prince of Panada
  • 23
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    14
    Years
    • Age 33
    • Seen Mar 7, 2012
    (If this looks familiar, it's because I posted this under my old account Mayfan24) I lost the password to it and am too lazy to send the password to my email, so i just made a new account)

    Prologue
    Makers of Destiny

    "Eevee use Shadow Ball!"

    The silence of Twilight Ridge, broken with this simple command, and the Pokémon's owner, Geno, wouldn't hesitate to command again. Geno Mecha, a Pokemon Trainer from Rosewood Town, has ventured to the highest point of the Chikyuu Region to scout out a syndicate of evil Pokemon Trainers called Makers of Destiny, a band of Pokemon criminals that have their sights set on the rarest Pokemon of the Pokemon World, the legendary Pokemon. Geno, and his partner, Eon, a finely groomed Eevee, have ventured this far into the ridge to try and stop them from acquiring Darkrai, the Pokemon that is known as the Pitch-Dark Pokemon and controller of dreams. Geno has heard rumors that Darkrai is their most recent target.

    "Eon use Shadow Ball again!" Geno shouts. The Pokemon's attack removes a giant boulder blocking the way. The boulder is cleared and Geno returns to his search.

    Meanwhile, on the other side of the ridge, a couple of men in strange uniforms are removing rocks from a cliff of the ridge by machine, clearing a path to get deeper inside the ridge. They knew that Darkrai was waiting inside, and they would do anything in their power to get to it and capture it.

    "Move faster!" came a voice from above. It was the leader of Makers of Destiny, Lord Vrigar. "Darkrai will soon be mine!"

    "I don't think so!" Geno says from the other side of the ridge. "I'm taking this operation down personally!"

    "And who might you be?" Vrigar asks with a smirk on his face.

    "Someone you shouldn't trifle with!" Geno replies with a smug look on his face. He jumps from the cliff he is standing on and lands right in front of two of Vrigar's henchmen.

    "Take care of him!" Vrigar automatically yells, and the henchmen try to grab Geno. Geno knocks out both of the henchmen, only to be attacked by more henchmen.

    "Eevee use Shadow Ball!" Geno yells, and the attack knocks out a few of the henchmen, but the remaining henchman calls out his Pokémon, Charmeleon.
    "Really, I have to face you?" Geno asks smirking.

    "You'd better believe it!" the henchmen replies, "Charmeleon use Flamethrower!" Charmeleon obeys and unleashes a stream of fire at Geno's Eevee, which hits and sends Eevee flying backwards. Eon quickly gets up from the attack and shakes off the embers from its body. Eon looks up at Geno with an almost puppy dog look.

    "Listen Eevee," Geno says in reply to the Pokémon. "I know you don't like battling too much, but I need you to do this for me, please!"
    Suddenly, Eevee starts glowing a very bright white, signaling the sign of evolution, the small Pokémon starts to become bigger, its ears become pointier, and when the white light goes away the Pokémon has a completely different look to it, and from what Geno could tell, a completely different demeanor. The Pokemon automatically unleashes a Shadow Ball attack at the Charmeleon. The attack hits with such force that the Charmeleon is knocked out instantly.

    Umbreon Geno thinks silently to himself. Geno looks his Pokémon over carefully. The black cat-like Pokémon stands their menacingly staring down the knocked out Charmeleon with an intense look, the blue rings all over its body glowing brightly, and it's ears perked up intently, almost in a stalking position. Geno can feel the intensity emanating from his Umbreon; he can tell that Umbreon means business, and in return Umbreon knows that Geno means business.

    "Give it up!" Geno yells to Vrigar, "You're done!"

    "I don't think so!" Vrigar replies, "Go! Charizard!" And Charizard appears from the Pokeball and flies around the ridge with great speed. Umbreon stares it down without moving, keeping its eyes locked on to the Charizard, the Charizard flies in for a Slash attack, but Umbreon jumps out of the way and uses Shadow Ball, hitting Charizard just barely in the back. The Charizard flies back around and Vrigar commands it to use Flamethrower. Geno commands Umbreon to use Sand-Attack, but Umbreon doesn't hear him, being as focused as it is, and uses Double Team, and a bunch of copies of Umbreon take the battlefield, confusing Charizard for a moment. Umbreon then goes in for an Iron Tail attack, hitting Charizard in the back, knocking the Charizard to the ground. Umbreon then decides to finish the battle with a super powered Shadow Ball. Vrigar calls his Pokemon back to its Pokeball with an impressed look on his face.

    "You have raised your Pokemon well I see," Vrigar comments, but it cannot match my Pokemon, at least, not all three! Go, Metagross!" The giant, blue metallic Pokemon rumbles the ridge, causing some Pidgey nearby to flee from their nest. Umbreon also takes the time to stare Metagross down, but hesitates to attack. Vrigar commands Metagross to use Hammer Arm, but with its great speed Umbreon is able to dodge the attack.

    "Very impressive," Vrigar comments again. "That may be a Pokemon worth owning."

    "You're not getting your filthy hands on my Umbreon!" Geno roars in protest.

    "Like I'd want that piece of trash anyway," Vrigar replies, "It's worthless compared to my Pokemon."

    "You mean the one's that keep losing?" Geno asks, smirking.

    "Metagross use Hyper Beam!" Vrigar yells in anger, and the charged beam of light hits Umbreon, knocking it back quite a ways. Umbreon slams against a rock and falls to the floor, only to get up and keep going, aiming a Shadow Ball attack straight for Metagross, who is almost unfazed by the attack.

    "You're Pokemon might have a little Power," Geno comments, "but they're still no match for Breon!"

    "How cute," Vrigar comments sarcastically, "you nicknamed your Pokemon."

    "Nicknaming has nothing to do with how much power a Pokemon has," Geno explains. "Breon, use Shadow Ball!"

    Breon again aims the attack right at Metagross's face, but Metagross dodges the attack by levitating into the air. Metagross then attacks back by using its psychic powers to levitate some of the nearby rocks, sending them back at Breon, sending Breon flying backwards. Breon returns to his feet and charges at Metagross using Quick Attack, but is unsuccessful when Metagross uses Gyro Ball, again knocking Breon backwards. Breon slowly returns to its feet.

    "Give it up kid!" Vrigar yells, "My men are already in the cave scoping out Darkrai. You're finished!"

    "You wish!" Geno yells, despite the face this is the biggest hole he's ever been put in. He then remembers what he learned in the Pokemon Training Academy. Geno decides to put his knowledge to good use.

    "Breon, aim for Metagross's legs with Shadow Ball!" Geno shouts. Breon does as commanded and attacks Metagross's right front leg. Metagross's leg glows a bright red and Metagross starts losing altitude. Metagross grimaces in pain as Breon launches another attack at its other front leg. Metagross again loses altitude and Breon launches two more Shadow Ball attacks at the two remaining legs, bringing Metagross back down to the ground.

    "Breon use Iron Tail!" Geno screams, and Breon aims right for the middle of Metagross's head, knocking Metagross out almost instantly. Lord Vrigar stood there, dumbfounded, that Geno was able to figure out where Metagross's brains were.

    "Hm…I guess they do teach you stuff at that dump you call a school!" Vrigar comments, returning Metagross to its Pokeball.

    "That school's not a dump!" Geno growls, showing respect for his school like he promised, Breon also let's out a low snarl. All of the sudden, there is a bang that is heard from inside the cave of Twilight Ridge, and Darkrai floats out right in front of Vrigar. Vrigar grabs a Pokeball from his belt, but unlike the red and white of an ordinary Pokeball, this one is all black.

    "Go! Giratina!" Vrigar commands and a large Pokemon emerges from the mysterious Pokeball. The dragon-like Pokemon appears from the dark Pokeball, the wings on it's back flapping strongly. Darkrai doesn't hesitate to attack, releasing a powerful Dark Pulse attack at Giratina. Giratina attacks back with Aura Sphere, completely ignoring the command to attack Breon. Darkrai dodges the attack and hits Giratina with another Dark Pulse attack. Geno stands back and watches as the two legendary Pokemon do battle, both unleashing powerful attacks with such force that the entire ridge shakes. Geno feels the force of the blow and knows he needs to do something to stop them from destroying the ridge all together, but he has no clue how.

    "Dark Ball, do my bidding!" Vrigar yells throwing the small black round device at Darkrai. Geno springs into action, "Breon, grab that Pokeball!"

    Breon jumps in between the two Pokemon and grabs the small device between its teeth, crushing it into tiny pieces. Suddenly, both Darkrai and Giratina unleash powerful Hyper Beam attacks at each other, the attacks collide in midair, causing a powerful explosion. The explosion causes Breon to fly backwards, slamming into Geno and sending them flying over a nearby cliff. Vrigar barely notices and throws another Dark Ball at Darkrai, resulting in a successful capture.

    "Let's go!" Vrigar commands to the grunt.

    "What about the kid?" The grunt asks, concerned.

    "Leave him here," Vrigar replies, "there's no way he could have survived a fall like that, and besides, it's none of my concern who gets hurt in our mission." And with that, M.O.D. clears out of the ridge.


    "Well that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be," Geno says, picking himself up from the rubble, "are you ok Breon?" The Moonlight Pokemon looks up and smiles at its trainer, which makes Geno chuckle. "Alright, well now that that's taken care of why don't we head back to Champion's Hall, shall we?"
    Breon agrees with a nod. Geno pulls Breon's Pokeball from his belt and recalls the Pokemon. After putting Breon's Pokeball back on his belt, he grabs another odd looking Pokeball from his bag. Geno stares at the Pokeball for a few moments. "Good thing Draco lent you too me," he says. He tosses the Pokeball in the air revealing a giant dragon-looking Pokemon called Dragonite. The speed of this giant dragon helps Geno return to the Champions Hall in no time flat. There is a man waiting for him at the entrance.

    "Welcome back, Geno," the man says as the Dragonite disappears back to it's Pokeball, "you were gone longer than expected, what happened?"

    "Just got held up a little bit is all," Geno replies, "Not a problem is it?"

    "No, not at all," the man retorts quickly, "just got worried that something might actually have happened to you."

    "You worry too much Draco," Geno retorts, "You're starting to sound like my little brother."

    "Yeah, well…" Draco replies, not able to finish. He automatically goes into another sentence, "anyway here is your new identification card. Remember, from now on you are known as Eon, not Geno. You may keep Eon…" Draco is cut off by a quick comment from Geno.

    "Actually it's not Eon anymore," he explains, "it evolved while I was up on Twilight Ridge, now he's Breon!"

    "All the better," Draco comments, "you need to go get some rest, I will send a 'search party' to look for you in the morning, then in a week or so, I will make a press conference noting your death, and introduce you as Eon."

    "Alright Draco," Geno, now Eon, replies. "I trust you know what you are doing. M.O.D. will be taken down."


    Meanwhile, Lord Vrigar makes his return to his base and is greeted by two higher ups in the organization.

    "How did the mission go my Lord?" a female trainer asks as he walks into the base.

    "There was a slight hold up, but I got what I wanted," Vrigar replies with a smirk on his face holding up the Dark Ball with Darkrai in it, both trainers smirk in response.

    "Very well my Lord," a male trainer replies.

    "The plan for that Johto trainer you two cooked up? How is that coming along?" Vrigar asks the two trainers.

    "Very well actually, we plan to put things in affect tomorrow," the male trainer replies.

    "Good, keep up the good work you two," Vrigar comments, leaving the two trainers alone.

    "I think it's time for us to pay our old friend Caitlyn a visit," the man says, and the two trainers leave without another word.


    Meanwhile, a man travels through Blackthorn City, a town in the Johto Region. He is wearing a dark red cape and seems to be looking for something. He stops at a small house, in the middle of the City, pulls out a small piece of paper from his pocket, and then walks up to the front door and knocks on it. A young girl opens the door and invites him in. Noises can be heard from upstairs, but both the man and the young girl ignore them and go into another room downstairs.

    "I'm glad you were able to meet me here Changer," says the young girl.

    "No problem miss," the tall man by the name of changer replies, "Before I go through with this though, what made you decide to leave M.O.D.?"

    "I met someone special Changer, I don't want them to find out about my past with M.O.D. I want to leave all of this behind and live with just him and my son. Please Changer, don't question my methods, just do this for me," says the girl, a small tear coming to her eye.

    "And you know the consequences for this right?" Changer replies.

    "I don't care, I just want to be free from this organization," she replies.

    "Okay then," Changer says, grabbing one of two Pokeballs from his belt. "Manaphy do your thing." And he releases the light blue Pokemon from its Pokeball, the Pokemon splits its antennae, and looks at the young girl.

    "Manaphy, Heart Swap!" Changer commands, and Manaphy does as commanded and touches the girl, transferring her evil aura out of her body. The young girl, falls to the floor, and Manaphy stops, as a shadow flies out the window. Manaphy falls asleep and Changer calls it back to its Pokeball, and leaves the room, placing a Pokemon egg on the desk as he leaves. Not long after, a young man comes from upstairs and notices the young girl asleep on the floor. The young man doesn't seem fazed at all by the girl falling asleep on the floor, but instead chuckles, and picks her up and carries her to the bedroom, laying her in the bed and tucking her in. He gently kisses the young girls forehead and walks over to the desk on the other side of the room and starts messing with the computer, unknowing of the events that had just taken place.

    And thus, the story begins.
     
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    Chapter 1
    An Old Route to Chikyuu

    Our story begins in a small house within the confines of Blackthorn City with a young trainer sitting behind a computer. The young trainer by the name of Matthew Kinsin has been sitting behind the computer all night trying to find some information on new Pokemon rumored to have nested in a new region. Matthew's fiancée, Caitlyn May Wesley, is sound asleep in bed, unknowing to the fact that Matthew has been up all night, her son Calin is asleep in the crib at the foot of her bed. The trainers Pokeballs sit on top of a shelf sitting next to the computer desk. Caitlyn's Pokeball contains a Pokemon by the name of Eevee, which she had nicknamed Vee, while Matthew's Pokeball contains a Pikachu by the name of Pika. All is quiet as the sun rises outside the window, until Matthew slams his fists against the computer keyboard.

    None of this is making sense! Matthew thinks to himself frustrated All I've read about the supposed new Pokemon is that they've been spotted in the Chikyuu Region, nothing about sightings in the Johto Region, but I could have sworn I saw a different kind of Pokemon not too long ago! What else is there to do!? Matthew slams his fists against the computer desk once again, this time waking up Caitlyn.

    "Everything alright honey?" Caitlyn asks, rubbing her eyes and looking towards Matthew.

    "Yeah sweetie," Matthew replies, agitation in his voice, "everything's fine."

    "It doesn't sound like everything is fine, have you been up all night?" Caitlyn asks again. Matthew grumbles a minute, "you have haven't you?" she asks concerned.

    "It's just nothing is adding up babe, I have found nothing on that Pokemon I saw a while back," Matthew explains, "there's nothing explaining a Pokemon looking like that here in Johto, just a place called Chikyuu."

    "Isn't that the place where Draco went?" Caitlyn asks, putting her arms around Matthew's neck in a hug.

    "Yeah, I think that's where Draco went. I actually heard from him the other day, didn't take him long to become the champion," Matthew explains

    "He was good with his Pokemon," Caitlyn replies, "now about this Pokemon you saw, you said it looked like it turned into a Vaporeon right? Maybe it was just a Ditto still in a transformation."

    "No, it couldn't have been," Matthew replies, returning to his search on the computer. "Oh my god, this doesn't make any sense!" Matthew slams his fists against the computer desk again.

    "You know what? Come here!" Caitlyn replies, first grabbing the Pokeballs on the bookshelf then grabbing Matthews arm, "you need to lighten up a little bit."

    "Where are we going?" Matthew asks, still being dragged along by Caitlyn.

    "You'll see," she says, "Jamie! Callie! Can I see you two for a minute?"

    "Sure thing," Jamie calls from the other room, "be right there!"

    Caitlyn continues to drag Matthew along until they are outside. They stop in the backyard of the house, where there is a battle arena set up. Matthew knows instantly what Caitlyn is up too.

    "Ah, I see what you did there honey," Matthew says smiling. Caitlyn tosses him his Pokeball as Jamie, Caitlyn's sister, and their friend Callie walk out to meet them.

    "You called us for what I thought you called us for," Jamie says, "Matthew upset again?"

    "Just a little," Caitlyn replies, smiling, "you two up for a tag battle, me and Matthew against you Callie?"

    "Sure thing sis," Jamie replies, grabbing her Pokeball from her belt. "Quilava and I are always up for a challenge!"

    "As are me and Misdreavus!" Callie comments. "Let's do this!"

    Both pairs of trainers take their positions at each end of the battle arena. All four trainers look at the others with focused looks on their faces. Matthew is the first to make a move.

    "Pika! I choose you!" He yells as he throws the Pokeball in the air, and his trusted pal Pika, a normal looking Pikachu appears from the Pokeball. Pika gets on all four legs and readies itself for battle, sparks emanating from its yellow fur.

    "Vee! Let's Go!" Caitlyn yells, releasing her Pokemon from its Pokeball. Her Pokemon is a finely groomed Eevee named Vee. Vee takes its battle stance and readies itself next to Matthew's Pika. Both Caitlyn and Matthew wait for the Pokemon that they know Jamie and Callie are going to use.

    "Quilava! I choose you!" Jamie yells, throwing her Pokeball up in the air and releasing the Volcano Pokemon known as Quilava. Matthew remembers the last time he fought Jamie's Quilava. Quilava was able to use attacks like Rollout and Flame Wheel with such speed and accuracy that it almost scared him. He knew that him and Caitlyn had to watch for Quilava's amazing speed, but he had no plan of attack against it.

    "Come on out Misdreavus!" Callie yells, throwing her Pokeball in the air as well, releasing her Pokemon, Misdreavus, which is known as the Screech Pokemon. Misdreavus starts to float around the battle arena. Caitlyn stares at the Misdreavus with a smile on her face. She has already planned an attack against it, her and Vee have been training since the last time they faced off against Callie, and Caitlyn taught Vee a very useful attack for this situation.

    "Vee use Shadow Ball on Misdreavus!" Caitlyn yells out quickly, knowing that Misdreavus wasn't very capable of taking hit's, especially super effective hits, she decided to teach Vee a Ghost type move, in this case Shadow Ball.

    "Destiny Bond!" Callie yells out, and both Vee and Misdreavus both start to glow a bright white, the Shadow Ball lands its mark and hits Misdreavus. Likely, Vee receives a jolt of pain and falls to the ground as well, both Pokemon are considered unable to battle.

    "Wait a minute, what did you do?" Caitlyn asks.

    "It's called Destiny Bond," Callie explains, "When the Pokemon using Destiny Bond is knocked out by an opponent's attack, the Pokemon that landed the attack is also knocked out, so pretty much if Misdreavus goes, Vee goes as well."

    Jamie looks over at Callie confused, "you had that planned all along?"

    "Yeah," Callie replies, giggling, "I've noticed that Caitlyn's been out training with Vee to combat my Misdreavus, so I figured I'd put Misdreavus' Destiny Bond attack to good use."

    "Wow, impressive Callie," Matthew comments, he then turns to Jamie and says, "Well it looks like it's just you and me now. You ready?"

    "Always," Jamie replies back, "Quilava, use Flame Wheel!" Quilava rolls itself into a ball of fire and rolls itself towards Pika. Pika jumps out of the way being commanded to use Brick Break, flies towards Quilava tail first, hitting it square in the forehead. Quilava falls to the ground, but gets back up quickly ready to keep going. Caitlyn and Callie recall their fainted Pokemon and walk over to the sidelines and sit down to watch the rest of the battle.

    "Impressive Matthew, but not good enough. Quilava use Rollout!" Quilava rolls itself up into a ball again, and once again rolls towards Pika. Pika jumps up in the air again and dodges the attack, this time aiming a Quick Attack at Quilava, once again hitting Quilava in the forehead. Quilava shakes off the attack and fires back with a Flamethrower attack. Pika responds to the Flamethrower with a Thunderbolt. Both attacks collide with such force that they explode in midair causing a cloud of smoke. Both Pokemon are still standing when the smoke clears, but they are both showing signs of weakness.

    "Quilava isn't looking too good there Jamie," Matthew says, his competitive spirit starting to show. From the sidelines Callie and Caitlyn watch the intense battle closely, Caitlyn admiring Matthew's competitive spirit lovingly.

    "You're still not going to win Matthew!" Jamie fires back. "Quilava use Hidden Power!" Quilava releases many small green balls of energy which fly straight toward Pika and land a critical hit. Pika falls to the ground and gets up from the attack slowly, and fires back with another Thunderbolt attack that hits its mark. The battle seems to be about to draw to a close as Caitlyn and Callie continue to watch on, when suddenly, Caitlyn rises to her feet quickly, noticing what appears to be two people standing in the bedroom where her and Matthew sleep.

    "What's wrong Caitlyn?" Callie asks, looking up at the seemingly startled trainer.

    Caitlyn looks back at Callie, trying to keep herself calm, "I just realized, I think I left Calin upstairs by himself," and she quickly runs off towards the house. She opens the door and runs up the stairs worried about Calin, then stops at the bedroom door and suddenly has a vision. She can see a huge organization, what seems like its an underground organization, and she is standing next to three members of the organization, one man, and two women, one of them being a young girl just like her. She is standing a lot closer to the younger girl though as they look towards another man, who seems to be the leader of the organization. It all seems familiar to her, but she can't remember where she's seen it before. She shakes it off, not thinking any more of it, and opens the door to the bedroom, she can hear the battle raging on in the backyard through an open window. Strange, I thought I shut the windows she thinks to herself as she continues to open the door. When she walks into the room she sees a couple of dark figures sitting on the bed. She is unable to make out who the two figures are because of the bright morning sunlight. The two figures sit on the bed quietly, not moving an inch. Calin starts to fuss in his crib and Caitlyn walks over to it and picks him up. When she turns back to the bed, she can finally tell who the figures are. They are her friends John and Jessica. John is a young man about a couple years older than Caitlyn, with brown hair and brown eyes to match Jessica, a young woman about the same age as John, but with blonde hair and brown eyes. Both trainers are wearing weird outfits that seem familiar to Caitlyn, but again she cannot remember where she had seen them before. Bouncing Calin up and down in her arms, she walks towards the two trainers.

    "How have you been Caitlyn?" Jessica says, standing up and getting off the bed, "Long time, no see!"

    "Likewise here," Caitlyn says, extending an arm to shake Jessica's hand. "What have you guys been up too?"

    "Same old stuff, just a different day," John replies. "How about you? We heard you found someone special, is it true? Does Caitlyn actually have a boyfriend now?"

    "Fiancée actually," Caitlyn replies, turning to John now, "he proposed last week."

    "Awe, how sweet!" Jessica says happily, "Caitlyn's going to have herself a new husband, and Calin's going to have a daddy!" as she says this leans in and tickles Calin.

    "Yeah, it's going to be nice having someone around here to help out with Calin," Caitlyn replies.

    "So? Is he just a daddy to Calin, or do you really like him?" John asks, curiously.

    "Of course I love him!" Caitlyn retorts quickly, "what would make you ask a stupid question like that?"

    "Well it's just that some of your past decisions haven't been good ones honey," Jessica responds.

    "My past decisions?" Caitlyn asks confused.

    "Don't you remember any of it?" Jessica asks.

    "No, not really," Caitlyn says, "besides Matthew, most of my past is all just a big blur. I honestly don't remember much of it."

    "Well that's a shame now isn't it," John replies, "I guess we'll leave you to figure it out by yourself then. In fact, it'll be better if we just dropped the subject completely."

    "Why don't you guys just tell me a little about my past?" Caitlyn asks curiously, still holding Calin. John and Jessica look back at her with disappointed looks.

    "If you did remember anything about your past, you would know why we couldn't tell you anything about it," John replies, "you would also know why we were here."

    Caitlyn puts Calin down and looks at John and Jessica concerned, "why are you guys here?"

    "All in due time Caitlyn," Jessica responds, and footsteps could be heard coming from down the hall, "I believe it is time for us to go John," she says looking over towards John. John responds with a nod and both trainers fly out of the window. Caitlyn stands there for a moment confused before Matthew, Callie and Jamie walk in through the bedroom door. They are all talking about the battle that they had outside.

    "You know I would have won that match if Pika wasn't so fast," Jamie laughs, being the first through the doorway, "how did it get so fast in the first place?"

    "Caitlyn isn't the only one that has been training," Matthew laughs, "Pika and I…" he stops mid-sentence and notices Caitlyn standing in the middle of the room holding Calin, she has a concerned look on her face, "…honey, are you alright?"

    Caitlyn stands there for a moment before replying, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

    Matthew goes to say something when his computer pings at him, he turns and looks at it for a moment before sitting down and saying, "Hey, it's an e-mail!"

    Caitlyn sets Calin down and walks to the computer, "who's it from?"

    "It's from Draco," he clicks on the link that Draco sent him, "wait it's a video chat, hang on. I'm going to bring it up now." Matthew clicks a few things, sets up a video camera he has sitting next to the computer, then returns to the screen and a video feed of Draco Dragen, the champion of the Chikyuu Region, appears on the computer screen.

    "What's up Draco?" Caitlyn asks from behind Matthew, her face visible to Draco from his own video feed.

    "Not much, Caitlyn," Draco replies, "I do have a request for both you and Matthew though." Draco turns to face Matthew, "I also have something I would like to give you. A guy named Vincent gave it to Lyum, and Lyum said Vincent wanted me to give it to you? He said it was pretty important."

    Caitlyn cringes at the sound of Vincent's name, but no one notices. "Sure, what is it?" Matthew asks Draco.

    "A Pokeball, I can't show it to you because I've already got it set up on the transporter should you choose to receive it. It's no ordinary Pokeball though, and I don't really know what is so special about the Pokemon inside," Draco explains.

    "Well, send it over and I'll have a look at it," Matthew replies "Callie, you think you and Jamie could run down there and set up the transporter for pick up?"
    Callie and Jamie nod and run downstairs, Caitlyn stays behind and both Caitlyn and Matthew return to the computer screen, "so what is it that you needed to talk to us about Draco?" Caitlyn asks.

    "Well, it's about the Chikyuu league," Draco replies, "I know it didn't take me that long to become champion of this region, but the league organizers want me to take on all challengers. Now I have a bunch of people from the Chikyuu Region participating in the tournament already, but I still need two more people to compete, and what better two people than the two of you."

    Matthew and Caitlyn look at Draco for a moment before turning to each other, "I'm up for it if you are," Caitlyn says.

    "I'm in too," Matthew replies, then turns towards Draco, "how will we get out there?"

    "Don't worry about that either," Draco replies, "I've got that taken care of as well. My first elite…erm, Jackie…will pick you guys up at the Olivine City harbor in two days. Be warned though, Jackie is an odd fellow."

    "We'll make a mental note," Caitlyn replies. Suddenly, a new video screen pops up on Matthew's monitor, Matthew looks at it and notices it's Callie and Jamie.

    "We're all ready for pick up Draco!" they say, knowing that Draco can hear them through the video feed. Draco nods and walks away from the computer for a moment, and a flash of light from the side of the screen can be seen while they listen to a bunch of static noises both from Jamie and Callie's video feed and from Draco's. The light and static sounds lasts for about a minute, before it disappears from both video feeds. Jamie goes and grabs the Pokeball, and Callie looks into the camera and says, "I think you're going to like this Matthew."

    "Yeah, I agree with Callie on that one," Draco says, returning to his computer and sitting down. "Hopefully that Pokemon will be able to aid you a lot in the Chikyuu Region. You guys do realize that Chikyuu's one of the toughest leagues in the world right? Only the top trainers can compete in it."

    "Yeah, I realize that," Matthew replies as Callie's video feed disappears. "How is everyone else doing?"

    "Everyone's doing fine over here," Draco replies, "most of them have become gym leaders for me. It sucks you two couldn't get going as fast as everyone else has."

    "Yeah, I think it also didn't help we didn't have a dragon type Pokemon like you did," Caitlyn responds.

    "I don't…" Draco starts before getting cut off by the re-arrival of Callie and Jamie.

    "Here you go Matthew," Jamie says, handing Matthew what appears to be a glistening silver Pokeball. Matthew stares at the shining Pokeball for a moment, examining it from all sides.

    "Well, why don't we take a look at what's inside?" Draco says, leaning closer to the computer screen.

    "Okay," Matthew replies, almost silent. Caitlyn picks Calin up off the floor and Matthew tosses the silver Pokeball in the air. The Pokeballs flash is brighter than a normal Pokeballs, as Caitlyn, Callie, Jamie, Draco and Matthew have to cover their eyes to keep from blinding themselves. When the Pokeball's flash dims, the five trainers uncover their eyes to the revealing of a familiar looking Pokemon.

    "An Eevee?" Callie asks, looking at the Pokemon confused.

    "That's no ordinary Eevee though is it Draco?" Caitlyn responds, turning back to the computer screen, "and I'm not just talking about the silver coat it has either."

    "I don't think so Caitlyn," Draco replies, looking at the Eevee curiously, "I've never seen an Eevee that looked like that though. It's very intriguing."

    "Well you can be assured that we'll definitely keep our eye on it for anything out of the ordinary," Matthew says, as the Eevee jumps up on his shoulder. Matthew giggles and looks at the Eevee, "you know what, I think I'm going to call you Eve. Sound good?"

    "Eevee!" says the Eevee smiling. Mark pets it and smiles more, then turns back to Draco, "so what do we have to do to prepare for the league?" he asks.

    "Well like I said before, this is one of the toughest leagues in the world," Draco replies, "even the first gym leader is tough. So just make sure that your Pokemon are prepared."

    "Will do Draco, catch you later," Matthew says shutting down the computer, turning to Caitlyn and the others.

    "Are you two ready for this?" Jamie asks.

    "I'm not sure sis," Caitlyn replies, "all I know is that we have two days to prepare."
     
    Last edited:
    This... Is eye hurting. D:

    I think you'll be hard pressed to find many reviewers until you format this properly. That is, some spaces in between your paragraphs; by pressing the enter button twice. Because currently there's just a huge wall of text, that makes your fic very hard to read.
     
    This... Is eye hurting. D:

    I think you'll be hard pressed to find many reviewers until you format this properly. That is, some spaces in between your paragraphs; by pressing the enter button twice. Because currently there's just a huge wall of text, that makes your fic very hard to read.

    okay, i'll go in and fix that now

    EDIT: all fixed
     
    Last edited:
    I see you've formatted your story, so I'll give your prologue a review.~

    ---

    The silence of Twilight Ridge, broken with this simple command, and the Pokémon's owner, Geno, wouldn't hesitate to command again.

    The structure of this sentence is odd. I had to read it more than once. The way you've separated "broken with this simple command" seems unecessary. It might be better structured as: "The silence of Twlight Ridge was broken with this simple command and the pokémon's owner, Geno, wouldn't hesitate to break it again."

    Geno Mecha, a Pokemon Trainer from Rosewood Town, has ventured to the highest point of the Chikyuu Region to scout out a syndicate of evil Pokemon Trainers called Makers of Destiny, a band of Pokemon criminals that have their sights set on the rarest Pokemon of the Pokemon World, the legendary Pokemon.

    This sentence seems like a bit of run-on, maybe a full stop after Destiny would make it easier to read?

    The black cat-like Pokémon stands their menacingly staring down the knocked out Charmeleon

    This should be there.

    You're Pokemon might have a little Power,

    You are pokemon? Should be your.

    All of the sudden, there is a bang

    All of a sudden.

    and Darkrai floats out right in front of Vrigar

    Just having it float out... Seems a bit strange. I think this point needs edited/elboarted upon. Darkrai is a legendary pokemon so shouldn't it be doing something a bit more... spectacular?

    "Good thing Draco lent you too me,"

    To

    M.O.D. will be taken down."


    Meanwhile, Lord Vrigar makes his

    This type of scene break generally requires some kind of identification (usually in the form of " *** ").


    So, an overall weak point of your writing seems to be a lack of description. For example, I have no idea what Twlight Ridge looks like, other than it's a ridge, and there's a cliff that Geno and his Umbreon nearly fall off of. I would also say that you need to be proofreading your work more carefully, as there are quite a few minor mistakes that you would probably have picked up on, had you been doing that.

    What I do rather like is your use of present tense, which I personally find quite hard to pull off and which you seem to do reasonably well. The plot is also pretty interesting too, how this all relates to the rest of the story is the kind of thign that keeps the reader coming back.
     
    I see you've formatted your story, so I'll give your prologue a review.~

    ---



    The structure of this sentence is odd. I had to read it more than once. The way you've separated "broken with this simple command" seems unecessary. It might be better structured as: "The silence of Twlight Ridge was broken with this simple command and the pokémon's owner, Geno, wouldn't hesitate to break it again."



    This sentence seems like a bit of run-on, maybe a full stop after Destiny would make it easier to read?



    This should be there.



    You are pokemon? Should be your.



    All of a sudden.



    Just having it float out... Seems a bit strange. I think this point needs edited/elboarted upon. Darkrai is a legendary pokemon so shouldn't it be doing something a bit more... spectacular?



    To



    This type of scene break generally requires some kind of identification (usually in the form of " *** ").


    So, an overall weak point of your writing seems to be a lack of description. For example, I have no idea what Twlight Ridge looks like, other than it's a ridge, and there's a cliff that Geno and his Umbreon nearly fall off of. I would also say that you need to be proofreading your work more carefully, as there are quite a few minor mistakes that you would probably have picked up on, had you been doing that.

    What I do rather like is your use of present tense, which I personally find quite hard to pull off and which you seem to do reasonably well. The plot is also pretty interesting too, how this all relates to the rest of the story is the kind of thign that keeps the reader coming back.

    Actually, my scene breaks do have a form of identification, in microsoft word, i'm splitting them with Pokemon Sprites, and yeah i do agree I'm horrible at description. Trying to work on that actually. As soon as I get that I'll fix up some of the rough spots.

    As for the present tense writing, that's actually the way I always write. I feel like I write better in present tense then other tenses.

    This was actually a better review than I thought it would be. Thank you. I will start working on the whole being more descriptive thing as soon as i can.
     
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