Nothing for me...

Midori Chi

^.^
    • 5,521
    Posts
    20
    Years
    When you're looking up, I'm looking down.
    When I start to smile, you start to frown.
    When I feel so cold, you feel so warm.
    When I'm in my room, you're in the dorm.

    Quietly, waiting..waiting..for me?
    Sighing, thinking.. thinking..of me?
    But I don't get it..can't you see?
    Nothing, nothing, nothing for me...

    When I'm far away, you're very near.
    I think for a week, you think for a year.
    When I open my eyes, you're closing yours.
    When the sun is out, for you, it pours.

    Quietly, waiting..waiting..for me?
    Sighing, thinking.. thinking..of me?
    But I don't get it..can't you see?
    Nothing, nothing, nothing for me...

    Th next day I walk. The next day you run.
    For me, it pours. For you, it's the sun..

    Opposites...Opposites..Why is it that you think I'm your one?

    And you're..

    Quietly, waiting..waiting..for me?
    Sighing, thinking.. thinking..of me?
    But I don't get it..can't you see?
    Nothing, nothing, nothing for me...

    Nothing, nothing, nothing for me.
     
    OMG, That was really really good. I have heard only few other poems as good as that. Beleive me I know poems since I'm good at writing them. That was seriously good Midori Chi.
     
    Yo Kratos, I'm surprised you never read any of mine...at least I think you have...XD

    Midroi, very nice work here. You have some skill here.
     
    Excellent work, truly laudable. You show serious talent here, technically your skill seems natural. I think you could go far if this is typical of your work. rhythm and flow are natural, you didn't try and word a line in an akward manner to get a rhyme, et. etc. Nice work.

    Emotionally too, this is excellent. You convey yourself well. The only flaw I can find here is that the reader might be left somewhat confused as to what is truly going on, but that too is good in a way.

    Technique score: 9/10

    Emotive score: 8.5/ 10

    Overall score: 9/10

    -Shameless plug to follow-

    Please, please, PLEASE check out my poetry thread. :P
     
    Cybex Mewtwo said:
    Yo Kratos, I'm surprised you never read any of mine...at least I think you have...XD

    Midroi, very nice work here. You have some skill here.
    Click to expand...
    I've read your poetry but I just don't make reply's for your's yet....I'm too busy myself writing my poetry....

    They are all right Midori your poem truly is great.
     
    wow that was a great poem :D I have one posted its called my heart is yours to keep. Check it out sometime! :D
     
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