play with me

[Fanfic Master]

play with me:

i just need someone to play with me. for without me.
they wouldnt have a dear friend less. auremour.
he crawls like a spider and eats the snakes.
mmhh. big tasty snakes. take this army.
and join me in battle. as we ride for valhalla.
in your dreams. hahahaha. i roll with jesus.
cus jesus is really the best. he has so much heart.
and love for all of us. yet we dont praise him enough.
jesus truely lives; in us. do not deny him. let him into you.
be christians so that we together can build a new and effective world.
but avoid evil people. let the evil in them silence to death. but not them.

 

[mervyn797]

1. Use proper grammar.

jesus truely lives; in us. do not deny him. let him into you.
be christians so that we together can build a new and effective world.

The first line was okay, but the second one is not. Are you encouraging conversion or something?

let the evil in them silence to death. but not them.

Even though, the 'poem' as a whole isn't really nice, but this particular line is great. XD