Pokemon-The Grand Journey

[Sulituan]

Hey everyone, I've decided to post a fanfiction here. This is my very first one. Please tell me what you think about it. ;)

Table of Contents:
Chapter One-Friends Starting Their Journey
Chapter Two-Route 202

Chapter One-Friends Starting Their Journey​

"And the winner of the Pokemon League is.......Joey Marco! Come on up to except your award!" Joey was so excited. This was the most important day of his life. He had battled for hours and became the best of all of them, and now he was walking to the stage to except his trophy. This trophy would go right on it's own trophy rack, being so amazing. Joey proceeded to the stands to except his award. The audience was yelling and cheering, having seen great battling this day.

"Thanks....Mr. Announcer man," Joey replied, wanting to jump up and scream. "This is such an honor, and I would like to just thank all of my friends and family!" he exclaimed. Joey stretched out his arm and was about to grab the trophy when........

Beep beep beep beep!

"Woah!" Joey yelled as he fell out of his bed. He turned his head and glanced at the clock. "Oh no! I'm going to be late!" He quickly rose from the floor, and proceeded to get dressed for this important day. He slipped on his favorite outfit, a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt, and a brown sweater. He had to hurry. He just turned 15 years old today, and now he could finally recieve his first Pokemon from Professor Rowan himself, a man of legend.

Joey bolted downstairs to the kitchen, and devoured the meal that was laid out before him.

"Slow down honey, I don't want you to choke on your most important day!" Joey's mom remarked. She always worried about Joey's protection, but she knew she had to release the chains today.

"Don't worry mom, I'll be fine," Joey replied, annoyed. He continued to put on his shoes, and grabbed his backpack. He knew mom had packed him all of his needed items while he was asleep. He felt kindof bad he didn't do it though. He opened his front door, yelling, "Bye mom! I'll be sure to visit!"

Joey ran down to the lab in Sandgem town, and stopped in front of the building itself. He stood there, admiring the building, knowing this would be where he officially would start his journey. After a minute, he stepped inside, noticing three people already there. He immediatly knew who they were. They were his next-door neighbors. He didn't think they were starting their journey today as well.

"Hey Joey, what's up man, ready to start your journey of amazingness?" This was the voice of Zach, a friendly and very social 15 and a half year old boy. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind, but sometimes it wasn't for the best.

"Ya Joey, where were ya? We were starting to get worried that you wouldn't show. We would've had to leave without you," Josh remarked. Josh was a nice boy at the 14 and three quarters, who was very outgoing and energetic. He was a bit shorter of the rest, but that didn't stop him from doing what he wanted.

"I'm sorry guys, but I didn't know you guys were going to be here, and what's the occasion?" Joey replied. He was a little confused.

"We want you to join us in a group journey if you want to!" Zach answered with eagerness to get his Pokemon.

"Really? That sounds great! Us as a group would be awesome," Joey said. He then turned and looked at the third figure, Maria. She was a beautiful girl at the age of 15 with her long brown hair and blue eyes. She was shyer than the rest, but she's becoming more social with others. Joey walked up to her as Zach and Josh were talking about Pokemon choice. "Uhh, hi Maria. Are you coming too?"

"Hi Joey. Ya, I am. This is going to be so much fun!" Maria exclaimed. She always had a secret crush on Joey, ever since they met at Destiny Academy. They became best friends here. "How about we go choose our Pokemon now?" She asked the gang.

"Finally! It's about time we get moving here!" Josh bellowed. They all ran up to the front desk, noticing four Pokeballs resting on it. Rowan emerged from his lab room and greeted the group cheerfully.

"Well now, are you all ready to begin your journey?" He asked them. All four of them nodded their head in agreement. "Alright then. As you can see there are four Pokeballs here, each containing a Pokemon." The four Pokeballs had a flame mark, a water mark, a grass mark, and an electric mark. Joey immediatly had his eyes set on the electric one. "You all can now choose your Pokemon, and I'll give you something afterwards. Have fun."

"Well then, what Pokemon should I get?" Zach asked the others. He was not sure what to choose.

"How about the Chimchar Zach, you two would match perfectly with your firery personalies," Maria said. "I"ll take this Piplup, they look so cute!" She added in cheerfully. She grabbed the water Pokeball and placed it on her Pokebelt.

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Zach replied. He reached out for the Chimchar and took hold of the Pokeball, admiring it's 'epicness'.

"I choose the Turtwig!" Josh exclaimed. He grabbed the Turtwig's Pokeball and put it on his Pokebelt as well. "I love grass types, and Turtwig is perfect!"

"What's the electric one?" Joey asked Rowan.

"Well, that's a new one I just recieved. It's a Pikachu. Be careful with it, it's quite electrifying!" Rowan said with a chuckle. Joey took the Pokeball, and it opened up on its own! Out came a Pikachu, amazing in every aspect. He greeted his new trainer with glee.

"Pi-Pikachu!" Pikachu exclaimed.

"This is perfect!" Joey bellowed. "Thank you so much Professor Rowan." Joey added. He seemed to not stop smiling, for this Pikachu was an outstanding Pokemon. He knew at once they were to be friends.

"You are most certainly welcome," Rowan replied. "Now there's something else I want you kiddos to have, it's a Pokedex. This device records all data on all Pokemon you run into, it will help you greatly for your journey. Now go out there and begin your new life!"

"Thank you!" All four shouted at once. They ran out of the building and into the fields, high-fiving each other and releasing their Pokemon to admire them. This was the start of a beautiful friendship..........

Chapter 2 Coming Soon! Please leave any questions you wish to ask.

 

[Sulituan]

Chapter Two-Route 202​

"Aww man, I am so hungry right now," Josh remarked. Everyone else noticed when his stomach started to growl.

"Are you kidding, we have only been gone for about fifteen minutes!" Zach exclaimed. Both Josh and Zach were falling behind a little, but Joey and Maria were ahead, side by side. It was beautiful day. The sun was bright, a few clouds, and almost no wind. What day could be better than this.

"Arg, I'll just have to ignore it then," Josh said. They all continued walking down the dirt path laid before them. Pokemon were everywhere, in the trees, the grass, and the water nearby.

"Beautiful day, isn't it Pikachu?" Joey asked his partner. Pikachu had something different, it prefered to sit on Joey's shoulder than in its Pokeball.

"Pi-Pikachu!" Pikachu replied. He had agreed with Joey, and was feeling like running around everywhere. In the distance, two Shinx were fighting with each other for dominance. A Bidoof was swimming in the water, floating on the top like an inflatable. Suddenly, a Starly had flown into Josh's head, taking him completely by surprise.

"Woa! Hey guys look, a Starly!" Josh bellowed. He was beggining to pull out his Pokeball from his belt, when two trainers emerged from nearby bushes.

"Oh no! I'm sorry. Return Ace!" One trainer said. He brought out his Pokeball, which let out a beam of red light, returning the Starly.

"Oh wow! That was your Starly? I almost battled it!" Josh replied with a chuckle.

"Yep, we had just found it recently, quite an energetic fellow," The other trainer said. "Oh yea, allow us to introduce ourselves. I'm Bill, and my friend here is Craig," Bill remarked.

"Hey, nice to meet you guys," Maria said. It was nice to meet new people.

"Hey, this might seem a bit random, but would two of you like to battle us? We are training for the first Gym battle," Craig asked. This question was a bit random, and the group took some time to think about it. Finally, they came to a decision.

"Sure, Zach and I will," Joey replied. Excitement was rushing through his body. This was going to be his first battle, he needed to focus though.

"Ok, I'll be the judge," Maria said. This was exciting for her too. She wasn't in the mood for battling though, she was planning on entering contests.

"Alright then," Bill started. "Let's go, Ace!" He threw his Pokeball high in the air, and from the blue energy came forth a Starly, flying around in circles.

"And I choose you, Shynx!" Craig bellowed. He also threw a Pokeball, which then produced a Shynx, eager to battle.

"Sweet! Go Chimchar!" Zach announced. His Pokeball bounced on the ground, then the Chimchar emerged from the blue energy. The Chimchar's flame lit up, and it let out a cry of excitement.

"Go Pikachu!" Joey said. Pikachu looked at him, nodded, then jumped onto the battlefield. Other Pokemon began to gather, as if they wanted to watch the battle themselves. "Pikachu, use Thundershock on the Starly!" He commanded. Pikachu's electric pouches began to charge. The battle was officially beginning.

"Quick, Shinx, stop it with Spark!" Craig said. The Shinx also began to cover itself with electricity, then charged toward the Pikachu.

"Use Aerial Ace Ace on that Pikachu!" Bill shouted. The Starly aimed itself at Pikachu, then began to fly at it with incredible speed."

"Not so fast! Use Scratch Chimchar!" Zach commanded. Everything seemed to have happened at once. Pikachu's Thundershock had been blocked by the Shinx's Spark, and Shinx ran at Pikachu. Right before it made contact, Chimchar had ended the attack with a Scratch. The Shinx was knocked down, stunned by the counter-attack. Just then, the Starly had flown in, and made contact with the Chimchar standing in its way, also knocking it down. Both Pokemon got back up, but were hurt from the attacks.

"Quickly Chimchar, use Ember before they get moving again!" Zach exclaimed. The Chimchar turned around, then began it's attack on the Starly."

"Quick, dodge it!" Bill nervously shouted.

"Shinx, use Spark on Chimchar!" Craig said. The team combo had perfect timing. The Starly had dodged the attack, leaving Chimchar stunned. The Shinx then charged up to it, knocking it out with a powerful Spark attack. The Chimchar could no longer battle!

"No! Chimchar!" Zach was stunned, then grabbed his Pokeball for the Chimchar's return. The red beam had saved Chimchar from further harm.

"Oh no!" Joey looked over at Zach, knowing how hard these guys were. But now was not the time to worry, he had to focus. "Pikachu, use a precise Thundershock!" Josh stood there, admiring the awesome battle before him. This was like watching the T.V. battles, and he was experiencing them in real life.

Maria was scared. Zach's Pokemon had just fainted, and Joey was up against two Pokemon. She had a feeling though he could do it. She always would have faith in Joey. "C'mon Joey!" Maria shouted, somewhat not hearing herself. "You can do it!" She had blushed a little, but that didn't matter now.

Joey had heard Maria in the background, and began to have more hope. He watched as Pikachu unleashed its electricity from its pouches, hitting the Starly dead on, also knocking it out.

"The Starly is unable to battle!" Maria shouted.

Bill was shocked that his Starly had fainted, but he kept a serious face. Who knows what could happen next.

"Aww man," Craig said to himself. He then looked at Shinx. "Shinx, use Tackle!" The Shinx turned toward Pikachu, then began running at it.

"Pikachu, use Tackle as well!" Pikachu also began to run at its foe. Both trainers watched in excitement as the two Pokemon collided, falling to the ground. Pikachu was able to stand once more. The Shinx was also standing again, but then its legged quivered, then gave in.

"Shinx is unable to battle! Zach and Joey are the winners!" Maria exclaimed, extrememlly joyful. She ran over to the duo, where Josh was already jumping around.

"Great battle guys," Josh said. "You really had me scared for a minute."

Craig and Bill had walked over to the gang. They both had huge smiles across their faces, knowing they just had a great battle. Bill stepped forward. "Hey, nice battle guys. You two have showed us that we are going to need more practice!" he bellowed, with a chuckle. The rest of them had spent a few minutes talking about the recent event, laughing and cheering.

Too shortly, night had fallen, consuming the light around it. The group had begun to unpack their sleeping bags, preparing to sleep for the night.

"Good night guys, this has been such a great day," Joey said to the others.

"Yea, except for the fact I still haven't eaten," Josh remarked, stomach still growling.

"Hehe, there's always tomorrow," Zach added, then he drifted off to sleep.

Maria looked at the group for a few seconds, then turned around. "Good night," she said, then fell asleep.

What a beginning to this journey! The gang had met new people, and Joey and Zach had just won their first battle! What will happen next, stay tuned!

 

[Feign]

Chapter One-Friends Starting Their Journey​

"And the winner of the Pokemon League is... Joey Marco! Come on up to accept your award!" Joey was so excited. This was the most important day of his life. He had battled for hours and became the best of all of them, and now he was walking to the stage to accept his trophy. This trophy would go right on it's own trophy rack, being so amazing. (was it Joey or the narrator that thought this?) Joey proceeded to the stands to accept his award. The audience was yelling and cheering, having seen great battling this day.

"Thanks.... Mr. Announcer man," Joey replied, wanting to jump up and scream. "This is such an honor, and I would like to just thank all of my friends and family!" he exclaimed. Joey stretched out his arm and was about to grab the trophy when...

Beep beep beep beep!

"Woah!" Joey yelled as he fell out of his bed. He turned his head and glanced at the clock. "Oh no! I'm going to be late!" He quickly rose from the floor, and proceeded to get dressed for this important day. He slipped on his favorite outfit, a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt, and a brown sweater. He had to hurry. He just turned 15 years old today, and now he could finally receive his first Pokemon from Professor Rowan himself, a man of legend.

Joey bolted downstairs to the kitchen, and devoured the meal that was laid out before him.

"Slow down honey, I don't want you to choke on your most important day!" Joey's mom remarked. She always worried about Joey's protection, but she knew she had to release the chains today.

"Don't worry mom, I'll be fine," Joey replied, annoyed. He continued to put on his shoes, and grabbed his backpack. He knew mom had packed him all of his needed items while he was asleep. He felt kind of bad he didn't do it though. He opened his front door, yelling, "Bye mom! I'll be sure to visit!"

Joey ran down to the lab in Sandgem town, and stopped in front of the building itself. He stood there, admiring the building, knowing this would be where he officially would start his journey. After a minute, he stepped inside, noticing three people already there. He immediately knew who they were. They were his next-door neighbors. He didn't think they were starting their journey today as well.

"Hey Joey, what's up man, ready to start your journey of amazingness?" This was the voice of Zach, a friendly and very social 15 and a half year old boy. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind, but sometimes it wasn't for the best.

"Ya Joey, where were ya? We were starting to get worried that you wouldn't show. We would've had to leave without you," Josh remarked. Josh was a nice boy at the 14 and three quarters, who was very outgoing and energetic. He was a bit shorter of the rest, but that didn't stop him from doing what he wanted.

"I'm sorry guys, but I didn't know you guys were going to be here, and what's the occasion?" Joey replied. He was a little confused.

"We want you to join us in a group journey if you want to!" Zach answered with eagerness to get his Pokemon.

"Really? That sounds great! Us as a group would be awesome," Joey said. He then turned and looked at the third figure, Maria. She was a beautiful girl at the age of 15 with her long brown hair and blue eyes. She was shyer than the rest, but she's becoming more social with others. Joey walked up to her as Zach and Josh were talking about Pokemon choices. "Uhh, hi Maria. Are you coming too?"

"Hi Joey. Ya, I am. This is going to be so much fun!" Maria exclaimed. She always had a secret crush on Joey, ever since they met at Destiny Academy. They became best friends there. "How about we go choose our Pokemon now?" She asked the gang.

"Finally! It's about time we get moving here!" Josh bellowed. They all ran up to the front desk, noticing four Pokeballs resting on it. Rowan emerged from his lab room and greeted the group cheerfully.

"Well now, are you all ready to begin your journey?" He asked them. All four of them nodded their head in agreement. "Alright then. As you can see there are four Pokeballs here, each containing a Pokemon." The four Pokeballs had a flame mark, a water mark, a grass mark, and an electric mark. Joey immediatly had his eyes set on the electric one. "You all can now choose your Pokemon, and I'll give you something afterwards. Have fun."

"Well then, what Pokemon should I get?" Zach asked the others. He was not sure what to choose.

"How about the Chimchar Zach, you two would match perfectly with your fiery personalities," Maria said. "I"ll take this Piplup, they look so cute!" She added in cheerfully. She grabbed the water Pokeball and placed it on her Pokebelt.

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Zach replied. He reached out for the Chimchar and took hold of the Pokeball, admiring it's 'epicness'.

"I choose the Turtwig!" Josh exclaimed. He grabbed the Turtwig's Pokeball and put it on his Pokebelt as well. "I love grass types, and Turtwig is perfect!"

"What's the electric one?" Joey asked Rowan.

"Well, that's a new one I just received. It's a Pikachu. Be careful with it, it's quite electrifying!" Rowan said with a chuckle. Joey took the Pokeball, and it opened up on its own! Out came a Pikachu, amazing in every aspect. He greeted his new trainer with glee.

"Pi-Pikachu!" Pikachu exclaimed.

"This is perfect!" Joey bellowed. "Thank you so much Professor Rowan." Joey added. He seemed to not stop smiling, for this Pikachu was an outstanding Pokemon. He knew at once they were to be friends.

"You are most certainly welcome," Rowan replied. "Now there's something else I want you kiddos to have, it's a Pokedex. This device records all data on all Pokemon you run into, it will help you greatly on your journey. Now go out there and begin your new life!"

"Thank you!" All four shouted at once. They ran out of the building and into the fields, high-fiving each other and releasing their Pokemon to admire them. This was the start of a beautiful friendship... (were they not friends before? Or did they just live next to each other and never really talked. Also there are too many ellipses in some spots 3 is best)

Chapter 2 Coming Soon! Please leave any questions you wish to ask.

Chapter Two-Route 202​

"Aww man, I am so hungry right now," Josh remarked. Everyone else noticed when his stomach started to growl.

"Are you kidding, we have only been gone for about fifteen minutes!" Zach exclaimed. Both Josh and Zach were falling behind a little, but Joey and Maria were ahead, side by side. It was a beautiful day. The sun was bright, there were a few clouds, and almost no wind. What day could be better than this.

"Arg, I'll just have to ignore it then," Josh said. They all continued walking down the dirt path laid before them. Pokemon were everywhere, in the trees, the grass, and the water nearby. (Had they been noticed? Perhaps a little more detail is required)

"Beautiful day, isn't it Pikachu?" Joey asked his partner. Pikachu had something different in mind, it preferred to sit on Joey's shoulder than stay in its Pokeball.

"Pi-Pikachu!" Pikachu replied. He had agreed with Joey, and was feeling like running around everywhere. In the distance, two Shinx were fighting with each other for dominance. A Bidoof was swimming in the water, floating on the top like an inflatable tube (or equivalent). Suddenly, a Starly had flown into Josh's head, taking him completely by surprise.

"Woa! Hey guys look, a Starly!" Josh bellowed. He was beginning to pull out his Pokeball from his belt, when two trainers emerged from nearby bushes.

"Oh no! I'm sorry. Return Ace!" One trainer said. He brought out his Pokeball, which let out a beam of red light, returning the Starly.

"Oh wow! That was your Starly? I almost battled it!" Josh replied with a chuckle.

"Yep, we had just found it recently, quite an energetic fellow," The other trainer said. "Oh yea, allow us to introduce ourselves. I'm Bill, and my friend here is Craig," Bill remarked.

"Hey, nice to meet you guys," Maria said. It was nice to meet new people.

"Hey, this might seem a bit random, but would two of you like to battle us? We are training for the first Gym battle," Craig asked. This question was a bit random, and the group took some time to think about it. Finally, they came to a decision. (it's not really random if you live in the Pokemon world :P)

"Sure, Zach and I will," Joey replied. Excitement was rushing through his body. This was going to be his first battle, he needed to focus though.

"Okay, I'll be the judge," Maria said. This was exciting for her too. She wasn't in the mood for battling though, she was planning on entering contests.

"Alright then," Bill started. "Let's go, Ace!" He threw his Pokeball high in the air, and from the blue energy came forth a Starly, flying around in circles.

"And I choose you, Shynx!" Craig bellowed. He also threw a Pokeball, which then produced a Shynx, eager to battle.

"Sweet! Go Chimchar!" Zach announced. His Pokeball bounced on the ground, then the Chimchar emerged from the blue energy. The Chimchar's flame lit up, and it let out a cry of excitement.

"Go Pikachu!" Joey said. Pikachu looked at him, nodded, then jumped onto the battlefield. Other Pokemon began to gather, as if they wanted to watch the battle themselves. (more trainers than the main characters and the two batlers? You mentioned it was nice to meet other people, which made it sound like they had not seen anyone else yet) "Pikachu, use Thundershock on the Starly!" He commanded. Pikachu's electric pouches began to charge. The battle was officially beginning.

"Quick, Shinx, stop it with Spark!" Craig said. The Shinx also began to cover itself with electricity, then charged toward the Pikachu.

"Use Aerial Ace Ace on that Pikachu!" Bill shouted. The Starly aimed itself at Pikachu, then began to fly at it with incredible speed."

"Not so fast! Use Scratch Chimchar!" Zach commanded. Everything seemed to have happened at once. Pikachu's Thundershock had been blocked by the Shinx's Spark, and Shinx ran at Pikachu. Right before it made contact, Chimchar had ended the attack with a Scratch. The Shinx was knocked down, stunned by the counter-attack. Just then, the Starly had flown in, and made contact with the Chimchar standing in its way, also knocking it down. Both Pokemon got back up, but were hurt from the attacks.

"Quickly Chimchar, use Ember before they get moving again!" Zach exclaimed. The Chimchar turned around, then began its attack on the Starly."

"Quick, dodge it!" Bill nervously shouted.

"Shinx, use Spark on Chimchar!" Craig said. The team combo had perfect timing. The Starly had dodged the attack, leaving Chimchar stunned. The Shinx then charged up to it, knocking it out with a powerful Spark attack. The Chimchar could no longer battle!

"No! Chimchar!" Zach was stunned, then grabbed his Pokeball for the Chimchar's return. The red beam had saved Chimchar from further harm.

"Oh no!" Joey looked over at Zach, knowing how hard these guys were. But now was not the time to worry, he had to focus. "Pikachu, use a precise Thundershock!" Josh stood there, admiring the awesome battle before him. This was like watching the T.V. battles, and he was experiencing them in real life.

Maria was scared. Zach's Pokemon had just fainted, and Joey was up against two Pokemon. She had a feeling though he could do it. She always would have faith in Joey. "C'mon Joey!" Maria shouted, somewhat not hearing herself. "You can do it!" She had blushed a little, but that didn't matter now.

Joey had heard Maria in the background, and began to have more hope. He watched as Pikachu unleashed its electricity from its pouches, hitting the Starly dead on, also knocking it out.

"The Starly is unable to battle!" Maria shouted.

Bill was shocked that his Starly had fainted, but he kept a serious face. Who knows what could happen next.

"Aww man," Craig said to himself. He then looked at Shinx. "Shinx, use Tackle!" The Shinx turned toward Pikachu, then began running at it.

"Pikachu, use Tackle as well!" Pikachu also began to run at its foe. Both trainers watched in excitement as the two Pokemon collided, falling to the ground. Pikachu was able to stand once more. The Shinx was also standing again, but then its legs quivered, then gave in.

"Shinx is unable to battle! Zach and Joey are the winners!" Maria exclaimed, extremely joyful. She ran over to the duo, where Josh was already jumping around.

"Great battle guys," Josh said. "You really had me scared for a minute."

Craig and Bill had walked over to the gang. They both had huge smiles across their faces, knowing they just had a great battle. Bill stepped forward. "Hey, nice battle guys. You two have showed us that we are going to need more practice!" he bellowed, with a chuckle. The rest of them had spent a few minutes talking about the recent event, laughing and cheering.

Too shortly, night had fallen, consuming the light around it. The group had begun to unpack their sleeping bags, preparing to sleep for the night.

"Good night guys, this has been such a great day," Joey said to the others.

"Yeah, except for the fact I still haven't eaten," Josh remarked, his stomach still growling.

"Hehe, there's always tomorrow," Zach added, then he drifted off to sleep.

Maria looked at the group for a few seconds, then turned around. "Good night," she said, then fell asleep.

What a beginning to this journey! The gang had met new people, and Joey and Zach had just won their first battle! What will happen next, stay tuned!

Mistakes are in red ;)

Also just as a note if you can't take the heat, of the following notes, well :P

Anyway, the way it is written, is not bad. The thing is, it is an OT (Original Trainer) fic, and those have been overdone. Now there can still be right ways and wrong ways to writing them. They also tend to get a bit boring after a while. While it is interesting that a group of friends start off the bat, even with a double battle, nothing I found was really "stand-outish". Also your battle scene will need some work, I had a hard time to follow it, and it seemed too "turn-based", but don't worry about that just yet, because battles are tough, for everyone. Also did you plan on having a main conflict? I ask, only because there are similarities to the anime and games. Also in terms of Pokeverse realism, aside from what I had marked, would it be logical for the new Pokemon to not only be obediant, but win a battle (especially with a well-placed thundershock)? I know it can be difficult at times to have one's main characters be ridden in conflict, but if it can be realistic, it might also keep the interest of the reader.

All in all, aside from a few mistakes, it was essentially written okay, but there is still room for improvement (after all, you did say it was your first fic). I recommend taking a read of the various guides, as well as other people's fics, to get a better idea what it's all about.

Hope this helps :)

 

[Sulituan]

Hey thanks for the advice, and yes I can take the heat. ;)

I feel really stupid when you pointed out that I used the wrong form of accept three times in a row. Also, when you made the note about there being more trainers than main characters, I assuming you thought they were the Pokemon of other trainers. They were actually just wild Pokemon watching the battle.

Also, I have to agree with you with the realistic part. It could be a little better, and I'll be sure to make the battles look less turn-based.

Thanks again for the comments.