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Pokemon X

Theosage

    • 32
    Posts
    18
    Years
    The title isn't serious; don't take it that way. Hahaha. I'm titleless to be frank; anyway the point isn't that, it's this:

    I was bored one day so I decided to open up RMXP and see what's new in the world of Game Developmen. I saw and I conquered (enjoyed so to speak).

    So I've formed a plot.

    "My name is but a name among names. I hail from VERITY CITY, a city once renowned for its technological prowess and its advances in the Pokémon technology division. Led by the audacious PROFESSOR VIXEN, VERITY has been marked as one of the greatest cities of ______. Her significance in the field of 'aqueous dynamics' and how the 'fluidity of water can be used to determine patterns in pokémon activity' has placed her on the top.

    But that wasn't always so. By time Little miss VIXEN was consumed in her research that she was going in circles about one particular concept; through wear-and-tear, her prestige has dwindled and so our city did as well. People have been focused on her being a celebrity to think about the other great things in our city, like... well when I think of one I'll tell you.

    Because of the apparent downfall of the great VIXEN, her cool laboratory was replaced with the simple ones, I guess it's for her to wallow in her own corner; I guess that suits her.

    Me? I'm her nephew; burdened in her shadow and because of that I'm pressured. My parents are... I actually don't know who my parents are; I've been under Aunt VIXEN'S wing since forever.

    One day my aunt called me because of something urgent; I ran like hell to her laboratory and it turned out she assigned me to go and get something from MORTIS RUINS. Apparently it will help further her research - or complete it so she says. I took that as a window of opportunity to escape this world that I live in and explore the world around. Sure I've been everywhere since Aunt VIXEN has brought me along, but alone is different.

    I personally have no hopes because they would be crushed down by certain prestiges; however I'd like to tackle the gyms someday; that would have my childhood dream fulfilled.

    Oh yeah. I had this dream..."​

    Spoiler:

    I've decided to introduce it in the main character's words; regarding lack of names, that's okay I haven't thought yet. But I've got the general idea down; any criticisms are welcomed.

    : )
     
    Last edited:
    Theosage said:
    The title isn't serious; don't take it that way. Hahaha. I'm titleless to be frank; anyway the point isn't that, it's this:

    I was bored one day so I decided to open up RMXP and see what's new in the world of Game Developmen. I saw and I conquered (enjoyed so to speak). Umm, have you actually designed anything for this game yet, or did you just write this?

    So I've formed a plot.
    "My name is but a name among names. I come from VERITY CITY. C'mon, you can come up with a more original name than that...I myself am all idead out for today, though, so look elsewhere. I am a mere person. I guess I have hopes and dreams; I am still a mere person. Fix that word repetition! Use pronouns and alternatives! VERITY has been waning thanks to a sad turn of events; Like what? I'm sure it was the draught That would be drought. What caused it? How have pokemon changed because of it? or perhaps PROFESSOR VIXEN'S failed prestige. I doubt one person could screw up a whole town. Sure, they say she's our only hope, but if she were our only hope why did she bring about our despair? Once again with the redundancy. How did she mess everything up, though?

    My, my. So I stumbled across her office one time and she went on about how she was a failure - she needed my help. Umm.. So this just happened? People just don't walk into others' offices for no reason besides engaging in pointless conversation. So it turns out that I was sent by Her Majesty to some place, I believe it's called the ______ RUINS? Oh well. Why'd you accept if she is "Her Majesty" to your character? This is all so *gasp* vague.

    She advised me to raise pokémon to be able to make the journey safely; Advised? I think maybe a bit more than just that. I guess I could also tackle the gyms in the process. Might be fun. For somebody so lazy and without aspirations, this character sure seems to suddenly have high goals...

    Oh yeah. I had this dream; it went like this..." NO! NEVER! BAD THEOSAGE!
    ​
    I've decided to introduce it in the main character's words; regarding lack of names, that's okay I haven't thought yet. But I've got the general idea down; any criticisms are welcomed.

    : )
    Click to expand...
    Just to use AZ's posting style because I'm too lazy to write all my comments out specifically...

    Heheh... Prof. Vixen reminds me of Video Vixen. Great movie, if you've ever seen it.
     
    Hmm so dramatic monologues won't work much?

    Anyway, I'll take your points into consideration; I realized it was vague hahaha.

    Well I particularly like the name; admittedly there exists one in diamond/pearl/platinum but I like the meaning it brings.

    Of course VIXEN didn't destroy the whole city, her prestige did.

    Well my focus in the game is more on character development and the humanization of the people involved; I've decided to divert from the original concept where pokemon is the focus of the story; yes the game is entitled Pokemon I'm quite aware but I'd like the people to have some involvement.

    The ambitious character is a bit anticlimactic I've noticed and I guess I'll see to it that I tweak it a bit; however my defense is that he is that sort of person who complains about everything but in reality he can't be overcome. I guess I need to make that more evident. Hahah.

    And yes I've mapped a few things but I just posted the plot because I didn't feel the need to post any screenshots.

    Anyway, I agree on the vague part once again; I was working towards a mysterious edge, not revealing the true story behind it all. I guess I have to rewrite things and establish a more definite piece, don't you think?

    Anyway, thanks a lot for reading. Hehe.

    PS: The Dream sequence is sort of the introduction I have partly implemented; I've decided to stray away from the conventional 'professor-talks-to-you-about-stuff' and branch out into other ways of how to introduce the concept. Weeee.
     
    Are you... me? You apply the exact same concepts to your story as the ones I've attempted to teach others.
    But I'm not so sure about the fate of this story. Unless you're applying to a fanbase of people 18 and above (and me, even though I'm much younger), this game won't be very popular. And yes, monologues can be very boring to a lot of people.
    I would suggest splitting up the character's thoughts into journal entries or something of the like.
    No matter how much I, and anyone who appreciates a good story, may love this game, my confidence in it is low. I'd love to help, though.
     
    Hahaha.

    Well, my purpose in making this game is not to appeal to the masses, as I've distinctively said, I even thought of this project because I was bored. Perhaps the whole process of updating and showing what I've got in store to people would work towards a simple inspirational boost and sharing of ideas; my aim is not popularity and I'm not even going to expect much of this. But at least I'd be able to do something in my downtime.

    Anyway, taking your words into utmost consideration, I've reworded my introduction; I kept it as a monologue however I will highlight certain factors to emphasize and stuff. I guess if I were to formally introduce this, a non-monologue version would appeal to be as the "plot" as this would appeal to be some sort of poetic way of enhancing the plot.

    I'm going to edit my first post too.

    "My name is but a name among names. I hail from VERITY CITY, a city once renowned for its technological prowess and its advances in the Pokémon technology division. Led by the audacious PROFESSOR VIXEN, VERITY has been marked as one of the greatest cities of ______. Her significance in the field of 'aqueous dynamics' and how the 'fluidity of water can be used to determine patterns in pokémon activity' has placed her on the top.

    But that wasn't always so. By time Little miss VIXEN was consumed in her research that she was going in circles about one particular concept; through wear-and-tear, her prestige has dwindled and so our city did as well. People have been focused on her being a celebrity to think about the other great things in our city, like... well when I think of one I'll tell you.

    Because of the apparent downfall of the great VIXEN, her cool laboratory was replaced with the simple ones, I guess it's for her to wallow in her own corner; I guess that suits her.

    Me? I'm her nephew; burdened in her shadow and because of that I'm pressured. My parents are... I actually don't know who my parents are; I've been under Aunt VIXEN'S wing since forever.

    One day my aunt called me because of something urgent; I ran like hell to her laboratory and it turned out she assigned me to go and get something from MORTIS RUINS. Apparently it will help further her research - or complete it so she says. I took that as a window of opportunity to escape this world that I live in and explore the world around. Sure I've been everywhere since Aunt VIXEN has brought me along, but alone is different.

    I personally have no hopes because they would be crushed down by certain prestiges; however I'd like to tackle the gyms someday; that would have my childhood dream fulfilled.

    Oh yeah. I had this dream..."

    FYI, main character would have Riley as the sprite. :)
     
    I think the story is great. The edited version is a lot better. It reminds me of a lot of the great unknown titles that came out for PC in the late '90s. Good stories, no players. Kind of a shame, almost like this.
    I love the personality of your character. Hopefully the one thing that should appeal to players is his lack of ambition and aspirations... hopefully.
     
    h POKE said:
    Just to use AZ's posting style because I'm too lazy to write all my comments out specifically...
    Click to expand...
    ...callin' me lazy? xD
    My turn~
    Theosage said:
    The title isn't serious; don't take it that way Good, otherwise I'd have torn the thing apart.... Hahaha. I'm titleless to be frank; anyway the point isn't that, it's this:

    I was bored one day so I decided to open up RMXP and see what's new in the world of Game Developmen Not much.... I saw and I conquered (enjoyed so to speak).

    So I've formed a plot [/yougotmyattention].
    "My name is but a name among names. I hail from VERITY CITY Ahh, excellent, all in caps...but the rhyme is a bit icky., a city once ...so somehting changed. renowned for its technological prowess and its advances in the Pokémon technology division. Led by the audacious PROFESSOR VIXEN, VERITY has been marked as one of the greatest cities of ______ Middle Earth? Neverland? Cefiro? Just some ideas.... Her significance in the field of 'aqueous dynamics' ...yuck, sounds like physics (I'm a chemistry guy, so I'm innately against this stuff) and nothing directly connected to pkmn. and how the 'fluidity of water can be used to determine patterns in pokémon activity' What's fluidity? A complete pseudoscience? has placed her on the top.

    But that wasn't always so. By time Little miss VIXEN was consumed in her research that she was going in circles about one particular concept That being?; through wear-and-tear, her prestige has dwindled and so our city did as well ...so we still haven't met the narrator. Hmph.. People have been focused on her being a celebrity to think about the other great things in our city, like... well when I think of one I'll tell you. Then why don't you leave?[/I'mtalkingtothecharacter'causes/he'stalkingtome]

    Because of the apparent downfall of the great VIXEN, her cool laboratory was replaced with the simple ones, I guess it's for her to wallow in her own corner; I guess that suits her.

    Me? I'm her nephew Ahh, okay...; burdened in her shadow and because of that I'm pressured. My parents are... I actually don't know who my parents are *looks around blankly*; I've been under Aunt VIXEN'S wing since forever. So wouldn't that make him adopted and, thus, her son? If his parents died tragically, he'd probably have been transferred into auntie's custody 'forever' ago...

    One day my aunt called me because of something urgent; I ran like hell to her laboratory and it turned out she assigned me to go and get something from MORTIS RUINS Mort? Is it a graveyard? Tunnel in the catacombs? Ancient burial grounds?. Apparently it will help further her research An artifact? Then how can she be certain A)it exists and B)it's safe to send her nephew after it? Or is she just THAT involved with this one thing about fluidity that she disregards the well-being of her family? - or complete it so she says. I took that as a window of opportunity to escape this world that I live in and explore the world around Establish whatever oppression living under Prof. Vixen exists first.... Sure I've been everywhere since Aunt VIXEN has brought me along, but alone is different.

    I personally have no hopes because they would be crushed down by certain prestiges; however I'd like to tackle the gyms someday; that would have my childhood dream fulfilled.

    Oh yeah. I had this dream...Keep going. You can't start the game here...unless you're playing through what the dream actually is (like, a fraction of the game is a daydream) and then, at the end, return to the present when you're going to the ruins and go on with your bland life (and live a similar yet slightly different variant of the dream)...hey, interesting idea, AZ."
    ​
    I've decided to introduce it in the main character's words Now that's my preferred method. It's very elegant, and I'm very pleased to see it.; regarding lack of names, that's okay I haven't thought yet. But I've got the general idea down; any criticisms are welcomed ...I just wanna see more. I don't know the first thing about this research junk yet and Vixen's pseudoscience....

    : )
    Click to expand...
     
    InMooseWeTrust, no one in their right mind here (and I should hope many of us are intelligent enough to realize this) creates a game here with the full intention of finishing it. The cynical truth is, only the professionals can finish the games. The unfortunate part of this is, the games the professionals make are aimed to little kids, or perhaps as light games to people like us.

    We don't create games to finish them. We create them to prove we are just as good, if not better than the professionals. And because we inherently compete in such a manner, it is only natural that no one person has had the capability to unite the members of this place, rather than having a vicious rat race with a shotgun at the end... More unfortunately is that no one has the ambition to unite the masses, or to create a game with staff of such a scale.
     
    You're both wrong.
    InMooseWeTrust said:
    To my knowledge, no Pokémon fangame in these forums has ever been finished You do realise that with a team of paid professionals, a game takes around a year if it's decent. How long would it take people doing it for a hobby?. Can you assure anyone that you will be dedicated enough to finish yours He doesn't have to. If there's someone interested and sharing the same vision, they'll hop on board.?
    Click to expand...
    h POKE said:
    InMooseWeTrust, no one in their right mind here (and I should hope many of us are intelligent enough to realize this) creates a game here with the full intention of finishing it ...that's so wrong. We start games because we have a vision...granted, there are the breed of people who write up a cliched plot and think with poccil's kit they can make a game; the beauty of it is that they can meet that goal. However, for more serious developers, that goal is further down the road and takes eons worth of planning and dedication. Thinking it can be done in a day is ignorance.
    Yes, some people lose sight of the 'finishing' aspect...some projects get so wrapped up in 'vamping designs constantly that no progress is never made because of all of the burden put on the artists. But that doesn't mean that they aren't finishing; it's just delaying it (which you're not really recognising).... The cynical truth is, only the professionals can finish the games I have really nice examples of why you're wrong if you insist...not pkmn, but good, appreciable examples.. The unfortunate part of this is, the games the professionals make are aimed to little kids No--they're aimed at a large audience. Play some games you played as a kid (not Pooh, but yanno) again now and see what differences you pull from it. My favourite PC game in 3rd grade is much more meaningful now after having taken European History because of the plethora of references it contains...it is still fun now but for potentially different reasons., or perhaps as light games to people like us.

    We don't create games to finish them Anything we start is with the intent to finish it. However, the journey is just as important as the destination...some people, by developing, realise just what goes into some games.. We create them to prove we are just as good As Gamefreak?, if not better than the professionals. And because we inherently compete in such a manner, it is only natural that no one person has had the capability to unite the members of this place Everyone uniting would be ridiculous. I'd never work with ***** ******** or *********** even if you paid me (usernames censored to protect the innocent)..., rather than having a vicious rat race with a shotgun at the end... More unfortunately is that no one has the ambition to unite the masses, or to create a game with staff of such a scale.
    Click to expand...

    Ahem, now, so I can call this a contribution to the topic...

    Assuming I understand correctly that what I critted is a WIP of the opening game script, the first paragraph should be either lost or moved down--the focus in the beginning is on Prof. Vixen, so why are you introducing yourself? It's not very attention-grabbing...and, if it's a journal entry, blog, or any sort of script, he wouldn't introduce himself unless this came first. I kinda doubt it would be first...it just seems like it shifts intensely after that first paragraph to a little more personal style. But I don't know to what end you're aiming for, sooooo...
     
    Weeeeeee. Thanks for your comments; The whole research concepts thing was made up along the way to suffice for a point of her actions, like a post-holder of sorts. I'm going to develop the concept later when I have the inspiration. Haha. (Blame Physics for influencing me; last year i would've placed chemistry concepts... hehe.)

    The whole relationship with his aunt is a very complex one; the main character loves his aunt very much but he feels like his aunt takes care of her research more than she does her own adopted son, so in a way that makes him bitter; I'll clarify that in a bit.

    And regarding the ruins, he doesn't really care what it is.

    The dream is the first sequence in the game; hence I didn't bother elaborating.

    Mind you that this is separate from the actual plot I'd present in the formal thread itself; my vision is this: this monologue would explain who the character is and his association with the story, and then to the right would serve to have the game story with its mechanics and its unbiased view of the whole event.

    As of now I've yet to place this piece in the game.

    And I've come up with a tentative name, how does Pokemon: Truth Within sound? Too overdramatic?

    To my knowledge, no Pokémon fangame in these forums has ever been finished. Can you assure anyone that you will be dedicated enough to finish yours?
    Click to expand...
    Nope and I don't promise anything. The whole reason of creating this game is based off boredom; the dedication I can get is probably during my downtime.
     
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