Queen of Oblivion

[Cloud Lines]

I had to write this poem for my Engilsh class. I think it's very good and so did my teacher because I got a bunch of extra credit. But I want to know what you think.
Read and review.
-Star-

Oueen of Oblivion

Black is the color of her eyes,
This signals her iminent demise.
Black is the color on her nails,
As her beautiful face begins to pale.

Black is the Darkness of that night,
The one of demise in their sight.
Black is the color of her sighs,
As her tortured soul, dies.

 

[TJgamer]

There's a very wonderful sense of mystery and drama in this poem.
I say the same as your teacher and give the extra credit.
A job very well done!

 

[mervyn797]

Short, but nice and vivid descriptions. I know that you might have had limited time then, but I would like to see this extended a little more. I'm sure that you'll be able to do it all fine, looking at the first two stanzas.

Black is the Darkness of that night,

I'm pretty sure that it is an error, but don't capitalize that word in the middle.

 

[Cloud Lines]

There's a very wonderful sense of mystery and drama in this poem.
I say the same as your teacher and give the extra credit.
A job very well done!

thanks so much!! love the extra credit! lol!

Short, but nice and vivid descriptions. I know that you might have had limited time then, but I would like to see this extended a little more. I'm sure that you'll be able to do it all fine, looking at the first two stanzas.


I'm pretty sure that it is an error, but don't capitalize that word in the middle.

actually it's not an error. I just captialized it. yeah i think i'd like it longet too. i'll try to do that, when i have some spare time.
thanks!