Iqid Loopz
This sentence is a lie.
- 359
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 33
- Pride Rock
- Seen Jun 15, 2022
Ello! Back from the dead again. And here to post up a fic that I have been working on during school (Yes, during classes) I have no idea where this story will go. Plot wise I have something. But anywhere in between is well not yet created, sort of. Either way its somewhere over the rainbow and in my head.
Summary:A classic story of a trainer named Errol and his friends becoming Pokemon trainers, kicking butts, taking names, getting badges and stopping evil doings on their adventures.
Genre: Adventure, Comedy...all the above of other genres when it gets there.
Warnings: The rating to me is 16+ through M to R. There is going to be violence, gore (maybe), immature humor and coarse language, though they are going to get worse in future chapters
Enjoy!
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Prologue - I Had A Dream.
I was standing in the middle of nowhere. Well, sort of. I was standing on a green wooden floor that felt cold beneath my bare feet, but everywhere else I looked was just a flat white. Decked out in slightly less than fashionable pink and yellow pyjamas, with a head of messy hair and my throat dry, the last thing I remembered was being asleep. Clearly I'd just woken up, but where exactly?
Standing awkwardly, I glanced around, hoping for some kind of clue, anything to tell me where I was and what was going on. Beginning to panic slightly at the sheer amount of nothingness, I let out a loud yell and listened carefully. No echo. That's just great. Panicking properly now, I shivered and looked around again, absently noticing that I was cold and really needed to pee. Thanks brain, that's really helpful-
"Hello there!" A loud voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts, "Welcome to the World of Pokémon!"
"Holy Jeebiz Lorenzo!" I ducked and covered my head in sudden fright, edging a few feet away from the voice before peeking out to see who it was.
An old man stood there, dressed in a maroon polo shirt with brown dress pants and shoes, a white lab coat thrown over the top. His hair was grey and a small patch of it spiked out from the left side of his almost square-shaped head. He had a grumpy (almost scarily so) expression across his face as he began to read from a book resting on his right palm, his left hand folded behind his back.
"My name is Oak," He coughed, clearing his voice, "People call me the Pokémon Professor."
I stared blankly at him for a moment, before a thought surfaced; this was familiar. "I've seen this before," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at the old man until a Nidorino magically appeared right beside Oak, roaring in a way that oddly resembled a little girl. A really angry little girl at that, as the creature was licking its lips and scraping the ground with its claws as it stared at me. Nidorino don't eat humans right? Specifically nineteen year old males? Right?
Gulping and holding my breath, I turned my attention back to Oak as he began to speak again, still keeping a close eye on the little monster that I'm near positive wants to charge and eat me.
"This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon!" Oak explained, reading from the book as though it were a script. "For some people, Pokémon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself, I study Pokémon as a profession."
Alright, interesting. This was beginning to sound like the very beginning of Pokemon Red Version. Of course right then I was a little more concerned with the fact that I was right as the Nidorino charged me. Thankfully it disappeared before it reached me, giving me a chance to breathe and recover. Well, until I started to panic less than two seconds later.
I was trapped in a game. A game with only one school in the whole region that only covered Pokémon status conditions! A game with no shops or hospitals for humans, only Pokémon! A game where Meowths could talk, but Pokémon with IQ's of over 9000 couldn't! I felt like crying, wishing I could do something, anything, to get out and back to my world where things made sense. Didn't seem like that was an option though, and if all the movies I've seen about people getting teleported into game worlds are anything to go by, I'm probably going to have to beat the game's story first. F*ck my life.
Trying very hard not to think about all the soul-crushing defeats and black-outs I was pretty sure I was going to have to face, I sighed and looked back to the professor. Only to shriek and close my eyes in fear as he literally warped right in front of me and stared, inches away from my face. I could actually feel the air move, he moved that fast.
As I muttered something about 'soul-eating professors', he began to speak again, causing me to look up cautiously. Up this close, he was butt-ugly. Like seriously. His skin was crusty, dry and pale, and covered in wrinkles. I mentally began to compare him to a zombie, his odd smell of vodka and what I'm going to go ahead and claim is rotten flesh, not really helping his case.
"First, what is your name?" Oak asked in a deep, flat tone.
"Uhhh, Errol," I replied meekly, "Errol Kai Nicdao?"
After yet another sudden warp, thankfully a few feet away from me this time, he shouted cheerfully, "Right! So your name is Errol!"
As he settled back into his original position, left hand behind his back and the book settled upon his right palm, a boy slowly came into existence beside him. The boy had orange hair and fair skin and was wearing the most ridiculous outfit ever; red running shoes, combined with tight purple jeans, a blue shirt and purple cardigan, with a yellow and pink beanie to top it all off. Suddenly my pyjamas didn't seem so bad.
Of course that was the least of my worries at that point. With all this random appearing and disappearing acts, I was beginning to get just a little paranoid and started wondering if this wasn't a game like I originally thought. What if I was dead? I could've had a heart attack or a stroke, or maybe just suffocated on my pillow. Or maybe ninjas or assassins that specifically target random nineteen-year-olds. Or bacon!
Oblivious to my internal debate and the fact that I do not regret the bacon even if it was the cause of my demise, Oak points at the other kid. "This is my grandson. My other grandson."
Wait, what?
"My oldest grandson, Gary, is off somewhere in the world, I don't really care where," Oak explained furiously, turning bright red in the face. So much so that I would've laughed if my overly-emotional state had allowed me. "He failed the professors exam and brought great disgrace to the Oak family name! So I disowned him."
One deep breath later and Oak was once again reading from the book, completely calm. "I apologize. My youngest grandson has been your rival since you were a baby." He glanced over at his grandson and then back at the book, flipping through pages as though searching for something. "Erm, what was his name again?"
Holy sh*t. Locking eyes with the grandson, I grinned evilly, savoring the moment. "You don't know his name either?" I asked Oak innocently.
"What?!" The boy exclaimed, grabbing his grandfather's shoulders and shaking him, "We practiced this billions of times! How do you not remember your own grandson's name?!"
When Oak completely failed to respond (maybe I was on to something with the zombie thing after all, he seems pretty brainless), I tossed out, "His name's Butt Bandit!" Haha, take that to the nut sack.
Oak's head shot up immediately, as though a light bulb had just gone off in it. "I remember now! His name is Butt Bandit!" He repeated back, pointing to said boy, who was a little shell-shocked if his dropped jaw and odd twitching was anything to go by.
I however, was ecstatic; I did my job well. "I f*cking hate you right now," Butt Bandit growled, clenching his fists as he disappeared back to wherever he'd come from.
"Errol!" Oak began in a rather grandiose fashion, "Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokémon awaits! Let's go!"
Despite his words, he didn't move. In fact, he froze, eyes wide as he shivered. Concerned, I wandered over to him, waving my hand in front of his face; nothing. Squeezing his nose ended in nothing as well. As did the nipple twister.
"Professor? Are you having a stroke or something?" I asked, slapping him in the face and taking a sudden step back when his eyes widened further. He wasn't going to explode or anything was he?
His eyes flashed yellow and I froze in place. Wait, why did I freeze in place? Oh no, this is it, I'm going to die. I'm going to die a virgin, probably for the second time. I squealed out loud and braced myself as lasers came blasting from Oak's eyes, blinding and consuming me.
Next thing I knew I was sitting on something soft, breathing heavily and sweating buckets, with what felt like sunlight on my face continuing to blind me. What the f*ck happened to me!?
"Morning sunshine!"
A soothing, almost angelic, female voice sounded out. Maybe that's what was blinding me, an angel. That or I'm tripping major gonads. I crawled forward, reaching out in front of me in an effort to swat the angel and end the horrible blinding light.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Trying to slap you and turn off the light!" I replied, still waving around desperately, "Where are you?"
"That's not me, dumbass," The voice growled, followed by the sound of metal squealing against metal, and then the blinding light suddenly disappearing.
I rubbed at my eyes, trying to relieve the burning sensation and regain my vision. I slowly looked up and my breath hitched as I spotted my friend Lizzy standing at the end of my bed, her hand just letting go of the cord that controlled my window curtains. She looked especially cute and pretty, all decked out in a dark pink skirt and a navy blue crew neck sweater with a picture of two arrows crossing through each other in the center. The small rays of light still leaking in through my curtains reflected off her long, straight, jet black hair, making her look like a goddess. Don't even get me started on her face.
I adored the woman and would tap that any day. Me plus her, plus the bed, subtract the clothes, and divide the legs. There's some math for ya, courtesy of my always helpful hormones.
Realizing we were alone in my room, I stared at Lizzy, wondering why she was wearing that type of clothing in public. She rarely did so, not that I was complaining; I liked where this was going. Ruffling my short black hair, I tilted my head and smirked over at her. "Sup?"
She simply shook her head and wandered over to my drawers, whipping a shirt out and tossing it at my face.
A deep voice then came from downstairs; "Errol!" Only one person I know would holler at me like that.
"Rufio!" I yelled in response, stretching out the words.
Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs and a shiny, bald head appeared. "Question! Since your Mom doesn't have her own room, where does she sleep?"
"Dude, I don't even know," I replied, blinking, "She's always either sitting at the dining table and staring at the wall, waiting for me to come down so she can greet me. Although, sometimes she sleep walks around the kitchen and gives me useless advice about phones and running."
"That's so f*cked up," Rufio replied, obviously extremely intrigued, "All the mothers in Pallet Town do that!"
By then I was focused on Lizzy again, watching her go through my drawers and stuff clothes into a bag. She made off facial expressions as she pulled out boxers and underwear. "Cool story bro."
Rufio performed a perfect double take at me and Lizzy, before clearly trying hard not to burst out laughing. "Well...this is awkward."
"What?" Lizzy glared in response, clenching a fist.
"Did you two use a condom?"
"Do we look naked to you?!" Lizzy roared, stomping over to Rufio to deliver a few punches to his large, muscular arms.
"Well Errol is half naked," He retorted, pointing and laughing. That does it.
"You!" I pointed towards him and then the stairs, "Get your fat ass out of my cave!"
Rufio shrugged but headed down the stairs as demanded, laughing and calling back "You call this a man cave? It looks like my man cave's doorway!"
"Shut up!"
Rolling out of bed, I fell down onto my hands, my chest pointing at the floor. I took a deep breath and began my morning warm ups, starting with push ups. After my tenth rep I stopped, realizing Lizzy hadn't left the room yet.
"Hi."
"Hi," She replied back, leaning against the wall and watching me.
I huffed; "What're you doing?"
"Waiting for you to finish so you can help me pack your sh*t," She explained, "We're in a rush, Oak's on a tight schedule."
Nodding, I glanced over my fit and muscular body and then her, before returning to my warm ups. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I smirked as she turned slightly red.
"Just a little bit."
"It's my God-like body, I know."
"You call that a body?" She huffed, causing me to stop and stare at her as she laughed, "Rufio has a way more smexy body than you."
What. Did she just call Rufio 'smexy'? "Rufio's like fifty percent body fat and fifty percent who knows what else!"
"He seems like a better person than you to cuddle with."
My jaw dropped and I mentally began plotting Rufio's demise, wondering if I could break some world records in the process. "Take that back! Or get the hell out of my cave!" I growled out.
"Alright, I'm leaving," She shrugged and started off down the stairs as I huffed and began sit-ups. "But don't forget, I've seen you in your underwear, you're never going to see mine! And you were talking in your sleep, what was that about dying a virgin twice?"
"Hah! Errol's a virgin!" Rufio laughed.
"Shut up! You are too!" I retorted, hearing only footsteps and the slamming of my front door in response.
I yawned and got up to sit back down on my bed, stretching my face and eyes as I began to laugh as well.
This was going to be awesome.
Summary:A classic story of a trainer named Errol and his friends becoming Pokemon trainers, kicking butts, taking names, getting badges and stopping evil doings on their adventures.
Genre: Adventure, Comedy...all the above of other genres when it gets there.
Warnings: The rating to me is 16+ through M to R. There is going to be violence, gore (maybe), immature humor and coarse language, though they are going to get worse in future chapters
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Prologue - I Had A Dream.
I was standing in the middle of nowhere. Well, sort of. I was standing on a green wooden floor that felt cold beneath my bare feet, but everywhere else I looked was just a flat white. Decked out in slightly less than fashionable pink and yellow pyjamas, with a head of messy hair and my throat dry, the last thing I remembered was being asleep. Clearly I'd just woken up, but where exactly?
Standing awkwardly, I glanced around, hoping for some kind of clue, anything to tell me where I was and what was going on. Beginning to panic slightly at the sheer amount of nothingness, I let out a loud yell and listened carefully. No echo. That's just great. Panicking properly now, I shivered and looked around again, absently noticing that I was cold and really needed to pee. Thanks brain, that's really helpful-
"Hello there!" A loud voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts, "Welcome to the World of Pokémon!"
"Holy Jeebiz Lorenzo!" I ducked and covered my head in sudden fright, edging a few feet away from the voice before peeking out to see who it was.
An old man stood there, dressed in a maroon polo shirt with brown dress pants and shoes, a white lab coat thrown over the top. His hair was grey and a small patch of it spiked out from the left side of his almost square-shaped head. He had a grumpy (almost scarily so) expression across his face as he began to read from a book resting on his right palm, his left hand folded behind his back.
"My name is Oak," He coughed, clearing his voice, "People call me the Pokémon Professor."
I stared blankly at him for a moment, before a thought surfaced; this was familiar. "I've seen this before," I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at the old man until a Nidorino magically appeared right beside Oak, roaring in a way that oddly resembled a little girl. A really angry little girl at that, as the creature was licking its lips and scraping the ground with its claws as it stared at me. Nidorino don't eat humans right? Specifically nineteen year old males? Right?
Gulping and holding my breath, I turned my attention back to Oak as he began to speak again, still keeping a close eye on the little monster that I'm near positive wants to charge and eat me.
"This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon!" Oak explained, reading from the book as though it were a script. "For some people, Pokémon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself, I study Pokémon as a profession."
Alright, interesting. This was beginning to sound like the very beginning of Pokemon Red Version. Of course right then I was a little more concerned with the fact that I was right as the Nidorino charged me. Thankfully it disappeared before it reached me, giving me a chance to breathe and recover. Well, until I started to panic less than two seconds later.
I was trapped in a game. A game with only one school in the whole region that only covered Pokémon status conditions! A game with no shops or hospitals for humans, only Pokémon! A game where Meowths could talk, but Pokémon with IQ's of over 9000 couldn't! I felt like crying, wishing I could do something, anything, to get out and back to my world where things made sense. Didn't seem like that was an option though, and if all the movies I've seen about people getting teleported into game worlds are anything to go by, I'm probably going to have to beat the game's story first. F*ck my life.
Trying very hard not to think about all the soul-crushing defeats and black-outs I was pretty sure I was going to have to face, I sighed and looked back to the professor. Only to shriek and close my eyes in fear as he literally warped right in front of me and stared, inches away from my face. I could actually feel the air move, he moved that fast.
As I muttered something about 'soul-eating professors', he began to speak again, causing me to look up cautiously. Up this close, he was butt-ugly. Like seriously. His skin was crusty, dry and pale, and covered in wrinkles. I mentally began to compare him to a zombie, his odd smell of vodka and what I'm going to go ahead and claim is rotten flesh, not really helping his case.
"First, what is your name?" Oak asked in a deep, flat tone.
"Uhhh, Errol," I replied meekly, "Errol Kai Nicdao?"
After yet another sudden warp, thankfully a few feet away from me this time, he shouted cheerfully, "Right! So your name is Errol!"
As he settled back into his original position, left hand behind his back and the book settled upon his right palm, a boy slowly came into existence beside him. The boy had orange hair and fair skin and was wearing the most ridiculous outfit ever; red running shoes, combined with tight purple jeans, a blue shirt and purple cardigan, with a yellow and pink beanie to top it all off. Suddenly my pyjamas didn't seem so bad.
Of course that was the least of my worries at that point. With all this random appearing and disappearing acts, I was beginning to get just a little paranoid and started wondering if this wasn't a game like I originally thought. What if I was dead? I could've had a heart attack or a stroke, or maybe just suffocated on my pillow. Or maybe ninjas or assassins that specifically target random nineteen-year-olds. Or bacon!
Oblivious to my internal debate and the fact that I do not regret the bacon even if it was the cause of my demise, Oak points at the other kid. "This is my grandson. My other grandson."
Wait, what?
"My oldest grandson, Gary, is off somewhere in the world, I don't really care where," Oak explained furiously, turning bright red in the face. So much so that I would've laughed if my overly-emotional state had allowed me. "He failed the professors exam and brought great disgrace to the Oak family name! So I disowned him."
One deep breath later and Oak was once again reading from the book, completely calm. "I apologize. My youngest grandson has been your rival since you were a baby." He glanced over at his grandson and then back at the book, flipping through pages as though searching for something. "Erm, what was his name again?"
Holy sh*t. Locking eyes with the grandson, I grinned evilly, savoring the moment. "You don't know his name either?" I asked Oak innocently.
"What?!" The boy exclaimed, grabbing his grandfather's shoulders and shaking him, "We practiced this billions of times! How do you not remember your own grandson's name?!"
When Oak completely failed to respond (maybe I was on to something with the zombie thing after all, he seems pretty brainless), I tossed out, "His name's Butt Bandit!" Haha, take that to the nut sack.
Oak's head shot up immediately, as though a light bulb had just gone off in it. "I remember now! His name is Butt Bandit!" He repeated back, pointing to said boy, who was a little shell-shocked if his dropped jaw and odd twitching was anything to go by.
I however, was ecstatic; I did my job well. "I f*cking hate you right now," Butt Bandit growled, clenching his fists as he disappeared back to wherever he'd come from.
"Errol!" Oak began in a rather grandiose fashion, "Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokémon awaits! Let's go!"
Despite his words, he didn't move. In fact, he froze, eyes wide as he shivered. Concerned, I wandered over to him, waving my hand in front of his face; nothing. Squeezing his nose ended in nothing as well. As did the nipple twister.
"Professor? Are you having a stroke or something?" I asked, slapping him in the face and taking a sudden step back when his eyes widened further. He wasn't going to explode or anything was he?
His eyes flashed yellow and I froze in place. Wait, why did I freeze in place? Oh no, this is it, I'm going to die. I'm going to die a virgin, probably for the second time. I squealed out loud and braced myself as lasers came blasting from Oak's eyes, blinding and consuming me.
Next thing I knew I was sitting on something soft, breathing heavily and sweating buckets, with what felt like sunlight on my face continuing to blind me. What the f*ck happened to me!?
"Morning sunshine!"
A soothing, almost angelic, female voice sounded out. Maybe that's what was blinding me, an angel. That or I'm tripping major gonads. I crawled forward, reaching out in front of me in an effort to swat the angel and end the horrible blinding light.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Trying to slap you and turn off the light!" I replied, still waving around desperately, "Where are you?"
"That's not me, dumbass," The voice growled, followed by the sound of metal squealing against metal, and then the blinding light suddenly disappearing.
I rubbed at my eyes, trying to relieve the burning sensation and regain my vision. I slowly looked up and my breath hitched as I spotted my friend Lizzy standing at the end of my bed, her hand just letting go of the cord that controlled my window curtains. She looked especially cute and pretty, all decked out in a dark pink skirt and a navy blue crew neck sweater with a picture of two arrows crossing through each other in the center. The small rays of light still leaking in through my curtains reflected off her long, straight, jet black hair, making her look like a goddess. Don't even get me started on her face.
I adored the woman and would tap that any day. Me plus her, plus the bed, subtract the clothes, and divide the legs. There's some math for ya, courtesy of my always helpful hormones.
Realizing we were alone in my room, I stared at Lizzy, wondering why she was wearing that type of clothing in public. She rarely did so, not that I was complaining; I liked where this was going. Ruffling my short black hair, I tilted my head and smirked over at her. "Sup?"
She simply shook her head and wandered over to my drawers, whipping a shirt out and tossing it at my face.
A deep voice then came from downstairs; "Errol!" Only one person I know would holler at me like that.
"Rufio!" I yelled in response, stretching out the words.
Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs and a shiny, bald head appeared. "Question! Since your Mom doesn't have her own room, where does she sleep?"
"Dude, I don't even know," I replied, blinking, "She's always either sitting at the dining table and staring at the wall, waiting for me to come down so she can greet me. Although, sometimes she sleep walks around the kitchen and gives me useless advice about phones and running."
"That's so f*cked up," Rufio replied, obviously extremely intrigued, "All the mothers in Pallet Town do that!"
By then I was focused on Lizzy again, watching her go through my drawers and stuff clothes into a bag. She made off facial expressions as she pulled out boxers and underwear. "Cool story bro."
Rufio performed a perfect double take at me and Lizzy, before clearly trying hard not to burst out laughing. "Well...this is awkward."
"What?" Lizzy glared in response, clenching a fist.
"Did you two use a condom?"
"Do we look naked to you?!" Lizzy roared, stomping over to Rufio to deliver a few punches to his large, muscular arms.
"Well Errol is half naked," He retorted, pointing and laughing. That does it.
"You!" I pointed towards him and then the stairs, "Get your fat ass out of my cave!"
Rufio shrugged but headed down the stairs as demanded, laughing and calling back "You call this a man cave? It looks like my man cave's doorway!"
"Shut up!"
Rolling out of bed, I fell down onto my hands, my chest pointing at the floor. I took a deep breath and began my morning warm ups, starting with push ups. After my tenth rep I stopped, realizing Lizzy hadn't left the room yet.
"Hi."
"Hi," She replied back, leaning against the wall and watching me.
I huffed; "What're you doing?"
"Waiting for you to finish so you can help me pack your sh*t," She explained, "We're in a rush, Oak's on a tight schedule."
Nodding, I glanced over my fit and muscular body and then her, before returning to my warm ups. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I smirked as she turned slightly red.
"Just a little bit."
"It's my God-like body, I know."
"You call that a body?" She huffed, causing me to stop and stare at her as she laughed, "Rufio has a way more smexy body than you."
What. Did she just call Rufio 'smexy'? "Rufio's like fifty percent body fat and fifty percent who knows what else!"
"He seems like a better person than you to cuddle with."
My jaw dropped and I mentally began plotting Rufio's demise, wondering if I could break some world records in the process. "Take that back! Or get the hell out of my cave!" I growled out.
"Alright, I'm leaving," She shrugged and started off down the stairs as I huffed and began sit-ups. "But don't forget, I've seen you in your underwear, you're never going to see mine! And you were talking in your sleep, what was that about dying a virgin twice?"
"Hah! Errol's a virgin!" Rufio laughed.
"Shut up! You are too!" I retorted, hearing only footsteps and the slamming of my front door in response.
I yawned and got up to sit back down on my bed, stretching my face and eyes as I began to laugh as well.
This was going to be awesome.