Shattered Faith

Xhaiden

Cosplayer of Doom
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    ((Ok this is not a fan fic of an Rp this is a story I wrote for a scholership and I need opinions. Tell me what you think but be gentle...))







    Shattered Faith

    Word Count: 4997
    Pages: 17



































    A pair of cold brown oculars gazed emotionlessly towards the horizon, the taint of the sun?s rays shifting into darkness. A light breeze lifted long black tresses to play in the air, a delicate hand rising to push a few strands behind her ear. She sighed heavily, leaning back against the trunk of the tree she sat in. She was a young woman only seventeen from appearance, her skin pale and untouched by sunlight. ? She is here again? ? A soft voice chimed through the silence, a sound that could not be heard by humans. ? She is always here?? A child like voice replied. ? Is it true what they say about her, Yumi?? The first asked. ?I am not sure ? it is hard to tell?. There have been many rumors spreading recently?? The child answered sagely. ? I figured that since you are Cherubim that you would know? ? The first added. ? I am not saying it isn?t possible?. Just that it is highly unlikely?. There are very few Adept nowadays. I have also noticed that the rumors have been getting out of hand so I would be careful about what you believe? ? Yumi said calmly.

    The girl in the tree turned her gaze towards the source of the voices, two celestial figures coming into view. A tall angel stood lightly on a tree branch, her red hair flowing about gently. She bore a single off white wing that seemed to give off it?s own light. Her ice blue eyes stared in shock at the human girl, her white tunic rustling in the wind. Beside the angel stood a small child about six from her looks. She was of Japanese decent, her hair a rich black color, tied neatly up in two buns. Four tiny white wings rose from her back, her dark eyes watching the girl curiously. :?You?can see us can?t you?? The red head asked softly.


    ??? The human girl merely leapt down from her perch, landing on the ground below. ?HEY! Wait!? The red head yelled almost frantically, moving to follow. A tiny hand stopped her in her place, the child watching calmly. ?Amber, Leave her be? she does not wish for our company?? Yumi said softly. ??Well at least we know one rumor is true?? Amber replied sadly. Yumi nodded, raising her hands in front of herself. A small flash sparked about them and they were gone, leaving the earth to sleep.



    Morning filtered through the city, humans walking about to start their day. The girl walked calmly down the sidewalk, her eyes emotionless and dead. Her appearance was gothic, her whole being speaking of sorrow. People avoided her purposefully, as if afraid of being absorbed by the aura that surrounded her. She crossed the street, ignoring the irritated shouts and honking of passing drivers. She glanced at them dully, continuing forward. She felt random cold chills as she walked through the city, spotting several otherworldly beings among the humans. It was normal to see them, most of them having their own agendas.

    And almost all of them were either terrified of her or curious. She didn?t mind either way. They were all the same to her, Fiend, Angel, or even Human. They were all annoying. They felt that it was their utmost duty to follow her everywhere and bug her to death. She spotted a new Fiend making its way acrossed the rooftops, it?s glossy black coat of thick fur seeming to shine in the sunlight. He was wolfish, a large horn jutting from his cranium and curving back like a fin. The Fiend was about five feet tall, she estimated, sizing him up. He seemed oblivious to her, leaping to another building.


    It inhaled the wind deeply; the human girl feeling a sickening wave of nausea hit her. She clutched at her stomach lightly, attempting to shake off the feeling. She spotted the Fiend leap into an alley nearby, feeling as though her very soul was tearing in two. A sharp pain knifed through her, causing her to falter slightly. For some reason she began running, as though her very existence depended on reaching that alley.

    She skidded to a halt at the mouth of the break in the building, staring into the darkness. Her black clothing fluttered about her as she stepped inside, allowing her eyes to adjust. She cringed at the stench of blood that filled her lungs, covering her nose with her sleeve. The girl pressed further into the alley, spotting a growing pool of blood. The Wolf Fiend snarled viciously, clamping down on something with its huge jaws.

    She felt another sharp pain as she realized what it was that the creature was consuming. A large black wing. She felt herself step into its line of sight unwillingly, the Fiend instantly focusing on her. A low snarl emitted from him as he stepped forward, the girl holding her ground. It?s eyes widened, the fiend stepping back. She moved forward to regain the small space between them, hatred burning deep in her eyes. The fiend snarled and leapt atop the building, swallowing the remainder of the wing. ?Don?t think you can escape me Dark angel! The ?Adept? One can only protect you for so long!? He roared before leaping into the air.

    The girl lowered her gaze to a crumpled form before her, feeling a tug on her soul. She moved to its side, reaching out to touch it. ? Who?s there? Get away from me!? A male voice yelled, the figure rising to its knees. She gasped lightly at the form of a young


    man came into view. He was of a decent build, his pale skin coated in blood. Large gashes covered his body, his clothes torn into shreds. He stared at her with wide unusual eyes, their once black color shifting to a light violet. She extended her hand to him, beckoning for him to take it.

    The man reached out, the human girl closing the distance as he collapsed. ??So?. Your name? Your name is Faith? ? He stated softly in a voice that seemed to sing to her ears. She lifted his weight onto her shoulders, moving towards the light. ? Wait? ?He said, holding his hand before them. The angel chanted a small spell , a blue gleam enveloping them. She looked at him questionably, the angel smirking lightly. ? A small spell to keep the living from seeing us? ?He replied, allowing her to lead him into the sunlight.

    She staggered a bit, not used to the added weight. The angel wandered back and forth between consciousness and sleep, mumbling random things from time to time. Faith felt an unusual feeling pulse through her, an emotion she had never experienced making itself known. She ignored the feeling, narrowing her eyes to focus on the task at hand. People seemed oblivious to the two, one man even passing through them, much to Faiths? annoyance. Several fiends on the other hand stared in shock. ?Hey! Adept girl!? A cat fiend called, trotting over, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

    He stood a little taller then she, his body coated with a thin grayish fur. His face was similar to a humans?, his appearance well kept and tidy for a fiend. He was one on the few she tolerated, the cat seeming to understand that she hated celestial beings. ?Why are you helping this loser?? He asked in an amused voice. She merely ignored him as usual,


    adjusting her hold on the angel. The cat followed her for a ways, seeming dumbstruck by her actions. ?Here, at least let me help?? He sighed in defeat. His name was Elijah, known by all as a seeker of knowledge and a bit of a troublemaker.

    She glared daggers at the cat fiend as he took up the angels? other side, taking some of the burden off of her. ? What?? He asked, casting a bored look at her. ? He?s one of us now?. So I?m helping?? He added as she rolled her eyes. The two made their way slowly towards the outside of town, a tall apartment coming into view. ? Any idea about what this guys? name is?? Elijah asked, attempting to break the silence that had enveloped them. Faith shook her head idly, wondering that herself. They passed through the walls of the apartment and upstairs into a large bedroom. ? Where do you want bird boy?? He asked in his usual tone, appearing more bored then anything. She motioned towards a large shag rug in the center of the room, the two of them gently laying him down.

    ? I?m think I?m going to go check around for any info on this guy?I know an Archangel that owes me?You want me to send Kacy over?? He asked, looking back at her. Faith nodded silently, turning to fetch a first aid kit she had ?borrowed? from the school . ? Wish you would knock off the whole silent bit?? He growled, leaping out her open window. She sighed in exasperation, sitting to work on dressing the unconscious angel?s wounds. ? Interesting guy?? The angel said, startling her. She quickly replaced her mild shock with her usual stare. ?Sorry bout that?.? He murmured, slightly embarrassed. She shook her head, pulling out a clean rag. He watched with interest as she wiped the blood from the wound on his arm, wincing in pain when she wrapped it in a bandage.


    ?You know?I never knew that you humans experienced pain like this?it sucks?.? He stated, Faith nodding in mild sympathy. ? Figures?? He scoffed, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes played over the painting of the night sky, moving his head to look at the surrounding walls. They were completely black, many words that were unknown to him written in silver spray paint. ?Cozy?? He smirked, glancing back at her. ? I know, you didn?t make it for my approval?? he mocked at her annoyed look. She blinked in confusion, a question reflecting in her brown eyes. ? ?I have no clue how I can understand you?.? He replied. Faith pulled out a pocketknife from her back pocket, flicking it open. The angel obeyed her silent command, remaining perfectly still as she cut off the remains of his shirt. She noted that his wounds were slowly healing themselves, but without a little help he would be in trouble.

    She threw the knife acrossed the room, it?s blade embedding itself in something the angel hadn?t noticed. A loud shriek filled his ears, his eyes snapping over to a small creature stuck to the wall. It struggled to free itself of the sharp knife, squealing loudly when the girl neared it. ? A spy?? The angel asked, slightly confused. Faith grabbed the creature by its throat, pulling free her knife. It was about a foot long, it?s body seeming to be that of a reptiles?. ? You don?t scare me Adept one!? It spat, struggling in her hand. Her eyes darkened, a sadistic smirk tugging at her lips.
     
    The angel watched as the girls? aura shifted from placid and calm to almost delight, a small hint of darkness spiraling about her. Her lips curled back in a smirk, red power feeding into it from her hand. It cried out in pain, its? very mind seeming to be compressed. ?If I were you I would tell her why you are here?? The angel warned, sitting


    up. ? NEVER!? It hissed. Faith increased her efforts slightly, the creature crying out again. ? Some new fiend sent me! He said to follow you!? The lizard exclaimed. ? Why?? The angel pressed, walking over to stand beside Faith. ? I can?t tell you that!? It growled, trying in vain to escape. Faiths? eyes narrowed slightly, adding more pain to the lizards? agony.

    ? He wants your?w?wing!? It ground out, gasping when the pain left. ?Why? What does a fiend want with an angel wing?? The angel asked. ? You?re kidding right? How am I supposed to know? I didn?t ask the guy!? The spy hissed, glaring at him. ? Huh? Oh!? The angel blinked when he felt a tug on his mind, glancing at Faith. ? Names?She wants names.? He demanded, relaying her thoughts. ? Some dude?I don?t know his name?? The spy said. ? Who referred you to him?? The angel asked. ? Did I ever mention how lovely you look?? The lizard asked Faith, in an attempt to throw her. He yelped when the prick of her knife caught his attention. ? Al! The guy who owns the nightclub in the old warehouse! You should know him! I?ve seen you there a few times!? The spy exclaimed hurriedly.

    Faith released the lizard, tossing him out her window. ? Now what?? Seth asked. She looked up at him, her eyes emotionless again. ?Oh?? He laughed weakly, looking down at his bleeding chest. Faith grabbed his wrist, leading him back to her rug. He was surprised by how gentle her grasp was, amazed by her silk like skin. He obeyed reluctantly when she had him sit again, Faith continuing her cleaning.

    ? My name? It?s Seth?.? He replied to her silent question, closing his eyes. Faith couldn?t help but smile at his name, feeling him go slack. She laid him down on the


    rug, disposing of his blood soaked clothes. He murmured her name softly as she covered him with a warm blanket, her gaze lingering on his face. ? Hey There!? A familiar voice sounded from her window, Faith facing a woman about her age. ?Eli told me that you got a new pet?? She smirked, stepping inside the room. She was a bit shorter then Faith, her hair a rich, dark, caramel color with a streak of blonde running along her left cheek. A vampyre. Her skin was pale, dead, not even a single mark tarnishing her face. She wore a black satin outfit, lined with dark purple, a silver dragon broach dangling around her neck.

    Her gray eyes focused on the sleeping angel, a light smile appearing on her lips. ? Aw! How cute!? She beamed, walking soundlessly over to Faith. She and the vampyre went way back, their first encounter with each other starting with them trying to kill one another and ending with a sleepover. ? Hmm?? The vampyre pondered, watching her friend curiously. ?I don?t think I?ve EVER seen you help an angel?. Fallen or not?? She stated. Faith faced the other girl, her eyes narrowing, The Vampyre smirking evilly. ? You like him.? She faked a cough, her smile widening at the flustered look on the girls? face. ? Don?t worry I won?t tell?? She smiled warmly, patting Faith on the back. Faith sent the vampyre a death glare, contemplating whether or not she should hurt the woman.

    ?Hello everyone!? Elijah said happily, leaping gracefully through her window. ?Yo!? The vampyre waved. ? Kacy, Faith, still unconscious Angel guy who I think is really gay and if he is he?s mine.? Elijah greeted. The cat fiend missed the dangerous look Faith had given him, Kacy merely grinning broadly. Faith crossed her arms impatiently, tapping her foot to get his attention.


    ? Oh?well I found out some things about angel boy here?His name is Seth?He is a fallen angel.? Elijah began, plopping down on Faith?s bed.

    ? A fallen huh? No wonder you took him in?? Kacy remarked, casting a sidelong glance at Seth. ?Anyways, Adam told me that he used to be this really high ranking angel?A Seraphim?But he got kicked out through the heavenly gates for something big.? Elijah continued, toying with a nearby stuffed animal. ?Wow?seems there?s more to angel boy then we thought?? Kacy replied. ? And before you ask, no I don?t know why he was dropped. I guess he is being hunted by angels now?The Powers are creating a fuss up there and want to be let out to get at our friend here.? The cat said, his long tail flicking to and fro.

    Faith scribbled frantically on a piece of paper, handing it to Elijah. He skimmed over her handwriting, blinking thoughtfully. ? Oh really? A spy huh?? He asked, handing the paper to Kacy. ?What?d he want?? The vampyre asked curiously. ? He wanted to find me?? A voice sounded from the floor. All three of them looked down at Seth who now sat watching them with orange colored eyes. ? And sleeping beauty awakes!? Kacy smirked. Elijah had been taken off guard, flustered that he hadn?t sensed the angel sooner.

    ? No I?m not gay?? He said firmly, yawning. Faith smiled lightly at him, Seth stretching lazily. ? Huh? No I?m not an insomniac?? He answered her, blushing under her unwavering gaze. ? I?I?m just a light sleeper?? He said, standing. ? You can hear her?? Elijah marveled, Kacy in a similar state of shock. ? I guess?it?s kind of weird?I?m hungry?got any food?? Seth asked, rubbing the back of his head. Faith grumbled a response in her head, the angel laughing weakly. ??Come to think of it?I?m hungry


    too?? Elijah added, Kacy raising a hand in agreement. Faith sighed in exasperation, stalking acrossed the room. ? I?m up for tacos?? The cat fiend stated, following the annoyed human. ? What?s a taco?? Seth asked. ? Boy, you are so deprived?? Elijah said sadly, shaking his head. Kacy leapt from the window, effortlessly bounding to a nearby building. The cat followed, both turning back to wait for the other two.

    ?Here?I?ll carry you?? Seth said warmly, his twin black wings appearing again. Faith blushed lightly, fidgeting with the sleeve of her shirt. ? I insist?? He grinned without awaiting her approval scooped her off her feet, walking calmly acrossed the room as she proceeded to pound on his back. ? Ouch! Easy there killer!? He laughed, sending a warm feeling through her at it?s sound. He stepped out onto the windowsill, his wings of pure ebony seeming to steal the light that the stars gave off. Seth breathed in deeply, his wings spreading to their full size. They were torn here and there, several feathers missing. He leapt into the air, Faith holding onto him tightly. He adjusted his hold on her, moving her down to cradle her in his arms.

    She looked down at the earth rushing up at them, her face remaining emotionless. Seth flapped his wings hard, the air seeming to part from them. They soared upwards, practically floating down to where Kacy and Elijah waited. ??? Elijah passed a knowing look to his vampyre friend, grinning broadly. They turned on their heels in perfect unison, bounding off the building and into the concrete jungle of the city. Seth followed, his wings carrying them effortlessly. Kacy nodded towards Elijah, catching the cat?s attention. ? Plan A is now in effect.? She smirked, leaping high into the air. She half turned, holding both hands in front of herself. The Vampyre chanted strange words in an unknown


    language, sparks of energy snaking outward from her fingertips.

    ?Ready!? She yelled. Elijah waited atop a nearby building, watching playfully as the Dark angel passed him. ? Now me!? He grinned, leaping down. The cat landed atop Seth?s back, the added weight causing them to loose altitude. ? What are you trying to do?? Seth yelled, his wings flapping frantically to hold them up. ? This!? Elijah laughed, holding up his hands. The spell that Kacy had chanted surrounded the cat, pouring down into the confused angel and his passenger. ? Have a nice time kids! Don?t do anything I wouldn?t do!? Elijah yelled, Seth yelping in surprise as he and Faith vanished.

    ?Ah?that was fun?Now what?? The Cat fiend asked, landing atop a low building. ? We wait?? Kacy replied landing beside him. They looked up at the night sky, twin looks of triumph embedded of this faces. ? Can?t we eat first?? Elijah said finally, Kacy groaning in annoyance.

    The sound of waves crashing against the shore reached the ears of the unconscious Seth, his eyes opening slowly. ? Uh?what happened?? He groaned, attempting to sit up. He noticed that a warm, soft, weight was upon him, the scent of salt water reaching his nose. His silver gaze turned down, landing upon a sleeping Faith. She was curled up around him, the upper half of her body atop him. Seth blushed uncontrollably, gulping nervously. He tenitively reached down, touching her lightly. She opened her eyes, looking around without moving. She slowly sat up, much to the angel?s dismay. Her eyes widened as she looked up, noticing they were on an island about ten feet wide, surrounded by miles of ocean. ? Any idea about where we are?? He asked, the girl giving him a dull look. ?


    Yes I know you are not a road map?? He sighed in defeat. He looked up at the night sky, then out at sea. ? I could fly us back?but?if I tried my wings might fail and we will both die?? He said in half thought.

    Faith walked to the water?s edge, crouching down. She trailed a hand in the shifting water, her face remaining expressionless. ? Really? You?ve never seen the ocean?? Seth blinked, walking over. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while, neither of them moving. ?. Faith?? Seth began hesitantly. She looked up at him curiously, the angel sitting down beside her. ? Why?why don?t you speak?? He asked, looking into her brown eyes. He saw a spark of pain flash in those dark depths, his gaze softening. The girl pushed it away quickly, coming up with her own silent retort. ? Huh? How?d I fall?? He asked in mild surprise. He looked down at his hands in shame, his eyes fading into a dull gray.

    ? Alright?Sounds fair?I tell you and you tell me?? He answered finally. He looked up at the stars, his silver gaze reflecting their glow. ??I am not a true angel?? He began, allowing his mind to drift back. Faith looked at him in mild shock, one of the first emotions she had shone since they met. ? I am half Fiend as well. ? He added, touching her shoulder. The real world fell away from them, a multitude of color flashing about them wildly. Faith looked around as a city of pure white and gold came into view. Angelic figures roamed its streets freely in plain view, children playing joyously. She noticed that Seth had disappeared altogether, her eyes scanning for the angel. Her search landed upon an older looking angel, his wings tattered and gray. He held in his robed arms a small child, angels around him staying away. Faith moved closer, peering over the man?s shoulder. The child bore two black wings, his eyes red.


    A lifetime flashed before her, the child growing. He gained more wings, becoming greater then the other angels. She felt herself smile uncontrollably, watching him fly. A small angel child walked through her, laughing joyously. Seth?s eyes widened, a dark form snaking it?s way towards the child. The Dark angel rushed towards it, a golden staff held tightly in his grip. The form sneered at him, the blood of the angel child spilling all over Seth. Faith gasped in shock, watching as Seth fell, two of his wings stripped from him. She awoke with a start, looking over at the angel. He clutched his knees tightly, tears forcing their way out. ?. I?I would never kill an innocent?Never?T-they framed me!? He yelled angrily.

    Faith rested her head on his shoulder, shocking the angel. He looked down at her, his eyes wide. Images assaulted his mind; pain working it?s way through his soul. ? Ha Ha Ha!? A child laughed, Seth blinking in confusion. She was five it appeared, her body practically glowing with life. ? Faith?? He gapped, following the girl. She took the hand of a tall man, the resemblance between them startling. ? Your?Father?? Seth asked. An image of him appeared beside the girl, taking her other hand. ? Huh?? He blinked in confusion. ? I was? there?? He asked. The three of them walked inside a large building, Seth following after.

    It appeared to be an office, people moving about their work. Faith?s father led the child to a cubicle, setting her in his chair. ? Wait here my little Faith.? He said, leaving her. She kicked her feet out of boredom, spinning the chair around. Suddenly the power went off, Faith screaming. She clung to the arm of Seth, the angel trying to comfort he. Her


    father ran back to her, gunshots firing. ? Faith!? He yelled, scooping her up. He ran through the cubicles, shouts sounding everywhere. ?Stay here and don?t move. No matter what! Stay hidden!? He ordered the crying child, sliding her behind a filing cabinet. A man walked into view, holding the gun to her father?s head. The man shot her father, seven shots filling her ears. She cried out, running out into view. ? DADDY!!!? She screamed, the man pulling free a knife. He grabbed her roughly, moving to stab her. She squirmed backwards, the knife cutting a deep gash down below her left eye. She cried out in pain, Seth yelling in anger. He reached into the man?s chest, squeezing his heart.

    In shock the man dropped his weapon, running out of the room. He made it to the street before collapsing to the ground. Faith clutched her knees tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. The dark angel awoke from the dream like trance he had been in, looking over at the trembling Faith. He lightly touched the white scar that ran down the side of her face, the girl flinching lightly. ? I was there?I?remember now?? He said in shock. Faith looked up at him, her eyes quivering. She opened her mouth, a single word escaping her. ? Seth!?

    She hugged him, sobbing openly. He held her tightly; not believing that she had just spoke. ? It?s alright?don?t cry?? He whispered, rubbing her back gently. They sat there, each holding onto the other for support.

    Elijah and Kacy walked across the small beach, stumbling upon to sleeping figures. ? Aw.? Kacy cooed, hugging Elijah?s arm. ? So cuuute.? Elijah mocked. ? Wakey Wakey sleepy heads!? Kacy said happily, the sun?s rays making the vampire disappear to the eyes


    of the living. Faith stirred, looking up at them with an annoyed expression. Seth sat up, pulling her up with him. ? Why did you two do that?? He asked angrily. ? We bought you two some alone time while we found out information about our mystery fiend. ? Well?? Faith asked, standing. Elijah stared at her completely shocked, Kacy in a similar state. ? Yes I can talk now speak!? She growled.

    ? Anyways?He is called Youkai. He is gaining power by eating the wings of angels.? The cat began, his tail twitching. ? And I know where to find him!? Kacy exclaimed. ? Where?? Seth asked, his fingernails biting into his palms. ?Come! More action less talk!? She exclaimed, casting her transportation spell again. They appeared at an old warehouse, the smell of sulfur shrouding the entire building. ? Uh! Can?t he live somewhere decent?? Elijah exclaimed angrily, turning up his nose. Faith felt a familiar wave of nausea hit her, her eyes glowing dimly. She walked forward, Seth following after her. ? Shall we?? Kacy asked. ? Do we have too?? Elijah groaned, the Vampyre pushing him along.

    Faith crawled through a break in the chain fence that lined the grounds of the building, Seth leaping over. They made their way through the massive debris that covered the ground, eyes ever watching for danger. ? Dark Angel?. So you have come?? A fiendish voice growled. A large beast crawled out from a hole in the earth, two wings of pure black spreading as it emerged. ? My wings.? The angel said calmly. ? Correction?MY wings. ? The Fiend replied. ? You brought the Adept Girl?? It hissed angrily, glaring at Faith.

    Seth held a feather before himself, the black shape transforming into a staff of pure




    gold. The fiend wasted no time, lunging at the angel. It?s wolf like jaws opening to clamp down on him. Seth leapt into the air, spinning quickly. He delivered a powerful blow to the creature, sending it back. ? Your wings are MINE!!? It roared, shooting a blast of fire at Seth. ? Not today!? Elijah yelled, blocking the attack with a column of water. Faith reached out with her mind, attacking the fiend with all of her energy. It growled loudly, sending back a wave of power at her. ? Faith!? Seth yelped as the girl fell to the ground. ? Ah yes?I remember this one?She?s the little brat that I couldn?t kill.? The fiend snarled. ? ?You are the one who kill her father!? Seth exclaimed in shock.

    ? Maybe? I have killed many?? He growled in reply. The fiend leapt at him, dark power surging forth to strike down the angel. Seth was caught off guard by the attack, facing it in surprise. Suddenly a frail form leapt before him. ? Faith!!? He screamed, the blast hitting her at full force. Her limp body fell to the ground with a thud, Seth staring in shock. ? F-Faith?? He whispered, rushing over to her. He shook her, tears falling from him. ? DIEE!!!? He yelled, a huge wave of power rushing from his body, engulfing the Fiend.

    Ashes fell from the heavens, Seth holding Faith?s now cold body in his arms. A silver feather fell before him, his eyes moving to look at it. A light hand touched his shoulder, a warm smile forming on his lips. ? My?Shattered Faith.? He said softly, looking up.
     
    Sounds good so far. I've only skimmed over it a bit, and I'll finish it later, but there is one problem, especially if you are sending this into a contest of some sort.

    Quotations need to have their own paragraphs. Thoughts are in italics, and have their own paragraphs, just like quotations.

    Ex.:

    "I don't where to go next," said Jane nervously, twisting her curly black hair around her fingers.

    "Well, let's split up and go different ways," Ben suggested, digging his hands into his pockets. He didn't look too confident about the suggestion.

    "I really don't think we should..." Jane said nervously.

    Not only does this make stories and papers look better and more organized, but it also helps the reader stay focused. It's a lot less confusing. (It's also grammatically correct! ^^)

    Hope you found my suggestions helpful!
     
    It's not that kind of story contest. They want specific formats a junk....Blah....
     
    -poke-
    Oy, wench. It'sa good story. And I'm not just saying that cause you'll sit me if I dont.
    I mean it, you write better 'n me. So... shut up and take a compliment... xD
     
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