[Pokémon] The Ice Thief

[The Jewel of Life]

This is my longest fanfic, and I'm far too excited to put it up that I won't wait to finish off my other two. XD Oh god I love this little story I've conjured up~! And for this one I named the chapters. ^3^ Oh yeah, this is rated... me still being bad at ratings... Pg 13? Okay, and it was inspired in part by the 12th pokemon movie so if you hated that film I highly suggest that you don't read this. >:3 But it's your choice.

|Prologue|​

Arceus is revered as the pokemon who created this world and others. With the power of the elemental plates and the multitype ability, he can change his type in order to protect himself from any attack. Each plate is a part of Arceus, and he loathes to go any length of time without any one, thus he rarely does. For now, Arceus has no worries.​

But what would happen if some lowlife were to steal a plate? After the events that took place concerning the Jewel of Life, Arceus has been careful, but would he become just as enraged a second time if a plate was taken?​

|Chapter One: You Just Went Too Far|​

A beautiful pokemorph girl was sitting on one of the strong, lower branches of a tree, looking at her small village. Blessed with the gifts of a cherrim, the girl had large pink petals sprouting in a fan from her back, pale and almost yellow looking skin, and small lumps of flesh on her head that to some extent resembled barettes. Grasping ahold of a leaf she had pulled off earlier, the cherrim morph played a song with grasswhistle, calming or even putting to sleep the pokemon around her.​

"Hey Xavia, trying to hide from me eh?" The girl, Xavia Y. Zettis, glanced down at the human below her and sneered. It was her rival, Keaton, with an angry look messing up his otherwise flawless face. Keaton was a trainer, not a morph like Xavia. He had brown hair, plain and dull, which was made up for by his hefty build and look of strength. Right then though, the twisted look on his face was priceless.​

"Oh look at what the glameow dragged in! It's Keaton. You seem mad, whats up o' friend of mine?" Xavia smirked, drawing her lips into a tight smile to show her amusement at the subject of Keaton's enraged state. Her eyes glinted at the thought of a glameow actually dragging her rival somewhere.​

"Yeah, very funny! Now give back what you stole from me, thievery isn't a joking matter!" Xavia leaned back against the brances as a sign that she wasn't going to return the pokedex she had taken from him. Keaton was seeming to turn red as he lost his temper more and more. "Give. Me. Back. My. Pokedex! Or, maybe you want to talk to my little friend." Holding out a pokeball, Keaton summoned his infernape, a perfect choice for fighting a cherrim. As if on cue, a cloud passed over the brilliant sun and converted Xavia to her closed form. Now she was angry.​

Come on... give me something to work with here... Xavia scanned the surrounding area until she spotted what she was looking for, a pelipper leading a flock of wingull over the village. Bingo, lets see Keaton fend off this! The opposing trainer slapped his forehead in idiotic vain when he saw his friend and rival spot the flock. Infernape was in for it now.​

Xavia's body began to glow faintly as she changed form. For a few seconds, she had reverted back to her pink-haired, pudgy, smooth-skinned self, but then she began to change again. Her back blobed out to form huge pelipper wings and her lips surged forward into the shape of a huge beak. Xavia's hair turned white and blue while some of the areas on her arms sprouted feathers. Then, the metamorphasis was complete. Xavia shot Keaton a mischievious and proud look. It wasn't that Xavia was taking these measures because she was a thief and wanted to keep her treasure- oh no! Xavia had every intention of returning the stolen pokedex, just like every other thing she stole as a joke or prank. All she wanted to do was annoy the pants off of Keaton. And Xavia knew she would.​

"Where's your bravado now hotshot? Still gonna try to beat Xavia, the amazing pokemorph of wonder and power beyond the imagination of any mortal being? Well, you will never succeed never, NEVER! Mwa ha ha ha ha!" At that lengthy introduction, Keaton rolled his eyes and returned infernape- he knew that he couldn't win, but he still had a bone to pick with Xavia.​

"Last time I checked, ditto wasn't and 'amazing pokemon of wonder and power beyond the imagination of blah blah blah!' Although I must admit, infernape was pretty much doomed." Happy with her results, Xavia gently tossed Keaton his pokedex. "Thanks, Xavia, I appreciate your courtesy. But seriously, no one finds stealing to be funny but you."​

"Oh come on Keaton! It's fun plus I always return what I stole- no matter what. It's not like I'm some big-time criminal or anything." Comfortable now, Xavia became the pudgy and blobby skinned girl that she was born as. She leaned back against the branch and looked up at the sky. Keaton pulled his way up the tree too and rested on a branch on the opposite side of the trunk as his friend. This was one of their happy and friendly moments.​

But then, a crash was heard from the mountains and a tiny glowing spark was flung from the distant hills over the heads of the curious children and into the ground about one hundred yards away. Not bothering to transform, Xavia jumped down and ran to the crash sight, Keaton fast on her heels.​

Part of the ground was burned out, and a miniscule fissure had opened up where th object had landed. Said object was an oddly shaped piece of stone that was a pale blue- nearly white -and flat like some kind of tablet. Xavia warily reached out and pulled the decent-sized chunk of stone from the ground, recoiling in shock when her skin came in contact with its freezing surface. "Ooooh, it's cold... but very cool- no pun intended. I think I'd better hold onto this."​

"Xavia! What did I just tell you about stealing? You can't just take this mystery stone, we have to find out who it belongs to." When Keaton said that, Xavia's eyes went wild with anger and remorse. She pulled the icy tablet closer to her body and kept her arms protectively around it.​

"No way! I will never give this away! It's... amazing! This stone is pulsing with unimaginable power... only for ice-types though, I can tell. That's why it's cold." Xavia looked insane as she petted her new discovery and defensively kept it away from Keaton. After a few minutes, her rival was furious with her again.​

"Oh yeah? Well would if that thing is rare or special and needs to be put in a museam or returned immediately to whomever rightfully owns it? Where did your sense of justice go? That cursed rock is making you go completely nuts!" Keaton tried to grab it from her but Xavia was still completely enthralled and refused to give it up. She wanted desperately to protect it and learn more about it.​

Then, and idea began forming. This stone felt alive to her, so why shouldn't Xavia be able to use it to transform? Eagerly, the ditto morph began the process. Immediately after starting, the plate seemed to mystically flow into her body and gave the pokemorph vast amounts of energy. Then her body began to change. Xavia lost fat as her skin blobbed into a new from. A white tail sprung from her rear and Xavia's hair faded from pink to white with a dark grey undercoat. Her ears moved up on top of her head and became somewhat like a cat's- tall and pointed. A tattoo of a dark green circle formed beneath Xavia's eye, and the eye itself was surrounded with a similar half circle marking and changed from the usual dark amber to a threatening red. A golden charm-like item came into shape on Xavia's forehead and an intricate gold ornament formed around her now thin belly. With that, Xavia's transform-light faded and she could move freely again, with her beloved tablet safe within her.​

Keaton gawked with amazement, recognizing the pokemon Xavia had changed into even before she did. "Ditto may not be an 'amazing pokemon of wonder and power,' but Arceus is! That stone must be the ice plate, it allows Arceus to take on the type ice." Xavia wanted to try that herself, so happily she tried to change types, and it worked! The markings and stone ornament that now were some of Xavia's features changed color and she felt her body cool off. Sweet! I'm an Arceus pokemorph la la la la la la la!​

"Ummm, Xavia? Once your done being weird you really need to find Arceus now. He probably really really needs your fancy stone." Xavia's eyes glowed red hot with rage as she stared at Keaton with such ferocity that the mere human nearly wet his pants.​

"I'm an Arceus morph now, and I have as much right to this plate as he does! I will never give it back!"​

...To be continued.​

 

[Alter Ego]

|Prologue|​

Arceus is revered as the pokemon who created this world and others. With the power of the elemental plates and the multitype ability, he can change his type in order to protect himself from any attack. Each plate is a part of Arceus, and he loathes to go any length of time without any one, thus he rarely does. For now, Arceus has no worries.​

But what would happen if some lowlife were to steal a plate? After the events that took place concerning the Jewel of Life, Arceus has been careful, but would he become just as enraged a second time if a plate was taken?​

You know, prologues are meant to be short teasers and all, but...this really sounds more like a tagline of the kind you tack onto your fic on Fanfiction.net. Not so much setting up any particular mood or expectations for the story as just summarizing the basic premise. Doesn't seem necessary here, really.

It wasn't that Xavia was taking these measures because she was a thief and wanted to keep her treasure- oh no! Xavia had every intention of returning the stolen pokedex, just like every other thing she stole as a joke or prank. All she wanted to do was annoy the pants off of Keaton. And Xavia knew she would.

Questioning the necessity of this paragraph. Xavia already explains her position on these matters two paragraphs down, so it's not like you need this narratorial excuse for her behavior here. I dunno', it just feels like it's spoiling the nice reversal that her explanation would have made later down the line and makes said explanation look redundant, since Keaton should - on account of being her rival - already be well aware what kind of person he's dealing with.

Keaton pulled his way up the tree too and rested on a branch on the opposite side of the trunk as his friend. This was one of their happy and friendly moments.

Given how Xavia is refered to as 'his friend' in the preceding sentence, I think it's kind of a given that this is a friendly moment. Though how you have one of those shortly after threatening to scorch someone with an Infernape is a question I'd like answered.
​

But then, a crash was heard from the mountains and a tiny glowing spark was flung from the distant hills over the heads of the curious children and into the ground about one hundred yards away. Not bothering to transform, Xavia jumped down and ran to the crash sight, Keaton fast on her heels.

This should be 'crash site' I believe.
​

Part of the ground was burned out, and a miniscule fissure had opened up where th object had landed.

Missing an 'e' here.

​

All in all? I'm...kind of torn on how I feel about this story thus far. The basic premise is interesting and it's certainly an innovative way to bring Arceus into a story, but...there are issues with the execution.

First off, pokémorph. The way you narrate this, Xavia's status as a pokémorph is stated as a simple matter of fact. No explanation given. Heck, I can't seem to find any explanation at all on what kind of setting this takes place in. Are pokémorphs an everyday thing here? Where do they come from? Why is Keaton her 'rival' when she is a thief and he clearly isn't while he is a trainer and she clearly isn't? What are they even rivalling over? Also, I suppose I'm meant to believe that changing after the plate had some kind of impact on Xavia personality-wise, but to be honest?

...from what I've seen thus far, it doesn't seem like she can hold down any one personality for more than five minutes to begin with. If that was what you were aiming for then great, but to me as a reader this is just plain confusing. There's just no normal state of affairs to use as a reference here, which diminishes the dramatic impact of a plate falling from the sky significantly, and that is a pity.

Like I said, it's an interesting premise, but this you could really have done with a more thorough buildup. As it is, I have no normal for this world - not where it is or what it looks like, let alone how it works, and that just makes what would otherwise have been a dramatic development into just another sidenote of the general chaos.

So...yeah, a bit more clarification before the main plotline kicks in would be appreciated.