The "Mutants"

Mew13

Aqua Trainer
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    Years
    This is my fan fic about mutant pokemon who band together for the dangers of being exposed. Eventually, well, you'll see!! Read on fair reader, hope you like it!



    Chapter 1

    The sun slowly rose on that fateful early morning. It's gold and red rays extending like fingers reaching for the stars. The beautiful evergreen forest shimmered with the morning dew. On that fateful dawn, a pup was born. A Flareon pup. Abnormal enough to birth an evolved pokemon, the mother was shocked to find that the Flareon was a dusty, rosey pink! No matter how strange Flame thought her daughter was, she wouldn't know the extent of her powers untill about a week later.

    Flame named her daughter Rose, for her abnormal color. She wished her mate could be here to see the newborn child, but she knew that was physically impossible. Singe had been caught and killed for his fur by Team Rocket, Flame, newly pregnant, had only just escaped.

    Flame licked the newborn pup and it slowly nuzeled her. She allowed it to eat its first meal as she watched the blood-red sun rise higher and higher into the sky.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    A week later, the Flareon pup, Rose, had fully opened her eyes and was beginning to worry her mother. Flame had recently found her suck at the top of another treetop, the 3rd since birth. She couldn't figure out for the life of her how it happened! She could only rescue her baby, that is, untill one day when she saw what was going on.

    Flame had just been out hunting and returned to the den to discover Rose floating around the top of the dark cave, giggling like mad. Flame gasped, and Rose's concentration was broken. She came tumbling back to earth and let out a small yelp of surprise.

    Flame rushed over, crooning and comforting her pup. Her mind was racing, How could this happen? Flareon can't fly!! My daughter is a freak of nature! she thought, worried beyond belief.

    Rose looked up at her mother with saphire blue eyes. "Don't worry my child, we'll get through this, nothing is going to happen to you." she said slowly.

    Rose snuggled up to her mother, and fell asleep. The setting sun and freshly forming dew was a perfect resemblence of the dawn just 2 weeks ago.
     
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    Woah, sounds good so far! Can't wait for the next bit!
     
    Interesting.

    I like it! Keep up the good work!
     
    Chapter 2

    It had been a year since that fateful morning. Much had happened since then. As soon as Rose was old enough to understand, Flame told her that she had to protect her secret. Rose was to be extremely cautious, and never get too close to any human for many reasons. One: Her fur was an extremely rare color. No other Flareon had dusty rose colored fur like hers, and Team Rocket would do anything to get their greedy hands on it. Two: Team Rocket also prized any Pokemon who had a special talent or ability. They would do anything to capture Rose and put her on display.

    Rose knew and understood the rules well. She obeyed them all the time, but hated it. She was a teenager, with a teenage mind and heart. She longed to get out in the open and to meet Pokemon her own age. The only Pokemon she?d ever really met was her mother. Somewhere out there, was her special mate, and she had to find him.

    Flame knew the day would come when Rose would stop listening to her. But she was so paranoid because of what happened to her mate, Blaze. She had to keep Rose safe for as long as possible. She had to, just had to?.

    Well, one day, Rose was out roaming the forest. She had always loved the smell of the pine trees. It was quite calming to her. The clear blue sky above seemed so inviting to her, yet she kept all four feet planted firmly on the ground. She disobeyed her mother by venturing out alone, but she wasn?t foolhardy enough to test the limits of luck by flying about. She had been thinking a lot lately, and decided it was about time to free herself from her mother?s ties. She wanted to get out there and live, really live life to its fullest. But how can I tell mom? she wondered. She?ll never understand, she can?t. She has no idea what it?s like to be me, to be?? a freak?? She shuddered at the word. Freak was such a strong word. She wasn?t a freak, she was merely gifted.

    As she wandered about, she lost herself in thought, and quit concentrating so hard on keeping all of her feet on firm ground. Soon enough, she was floating about a foot above the forest floor. Not only did Rose not notice this, but she also didn?t notice the two emerald green eyes watching her from atop an evergreen tree.

    The eyes belonged to a Mightyena, a pure white Mighyena with black feet and ears. He watched her with great interest. When the timing was right, he made his move.

    "Hey," he said. "Whatcha doin up there?" he said, jumping to the damp forest floor.

    Rose fell to the earth with a thud. She quickly regained her composure and leapt up into a defensive position. "Who are you and what do you want?"

    "My name is Blaze, and I mean you no harm. I came to you because you are like me. Mutants, that is what Pokemon like us are called. We have special powers, and usually colors that make us hide."

    "How do you know all this!? Why should I believe you?"

    Because, said a voice in her head. The voice sounded exactly like Blaze?s. I can help you. I know what you?re going through and have gone through. If you?ll let me, I can take you to a place where you don?t have to hide.

    "Are you in my head?" Rose asked in amazement. "Are you telepathic?"

    "Yes," Blaze said simply. "I can take you to the Academy. The Academy is a school for Pokemon like us. The adults there help us to further enhance out powers, learn to focus and control them. It?s an amazing place."

    "Is it really true? Is there really such a place that I wouldn?t be considered a freak, and outcast, a?.. mutant?"

    Yes, Blaze said telepathically. You must come with me. You won?t regret it.

    " I have to tell my mom first, she?ll worry if I?m gone."

    "Then I?ll come with you."

    Rose ran home, nearly flying, even without the ability. She was so happy to find a place where she belonged.

    "Rose!" Flame cried. "Where have you been, and who is that?"

    "Mom, please don?t freak out. This is Blaze, he knows a place where I can go, where I don?t have to hide my ability anymore!"

    "Rose! You don?t even know him!!"

    Flame, listen to your daughter! She is old enough to know what?s best for herself. I can take her away and Team Rocket will never be able to hurt her like they did my family and so many others. Blaze said to Flame.

    Flame jumped back. "You! You have a? a?. power too!?"

    "Yes, Flame. Now please, your daughter just wanted to let you know where she was going."

    "Rose, my little Rosebud?. Are you sure this is what you want?"

    "Yes, Mom. I need to get out there and learn, grow, prosper. That?s what I would have done long ago had I been normal. But I?m not, and this is my chance. I?m taking it mom."

    The mother and daughter gave each other a swift, final nuzzle. Then, Rose and Blaze padded silently into the trees.
     
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    Another good chapter ^^. Blaze is Rose's father, no? You should read the book Firebringer...if u enjoy writing this genre, u'd love that book
     
    He He the italics vB code is [I*]message[/I*] only without the asterixes. Anyways, to review:
    I really like this story so far. It's nice to see a different Pokemon for a change that the traditional starters, Dratini/Larvitar/Bagon/Beldum, and it's nice how it's an evolved Eeveelution instead of just Eevee. You captured emotions in that fic very well, character development is coming along well, and the plot is progressing nicely.
    The only thing that's majorly letting you down is the description. The description of the emotions are perfect, but its the description of the surrounding area that worries me. I couldn't picture anything except the Pokemon.
    Apart from that though, this fic is very good and could go far.

    ~ MCD
     
    Thanks for the advice, I guess I got a bit carried away with the emotions of the story and left out a lot of setting detail. *Goes to edit*

    Oh, and Blaze is not Rose's father, he's about the same age as Rose, but mature beyond his years. Sadly, Rose's father is dead because of the incident with Team Rocket.
     
    Chapter 3

    Rose and Blaze sped through the trees like two streaks of color; one pink and one white. They had no intention of stopping for quite some time.

    Eventually, Rose began to tire. Running for such a long time was a lot of work, but it didn't seem to bother Blaze. Blaze was slowly pulling ahead of the panting Rose.

    Fly, you'll use less energy. Your power is much stronger than you think

    Rose tool the advice willingly, although she was a bit nervous about flying in the open. She floated about two feet off the groung and took off with such speed, she quickly left Blaze in her dust. She realized this and sped back to a smiling Blaze.

    Flying was so wonderful. Rose felt so free and calm in the air. She always wanted to be able to fly like this, and now she could! She did loop-de-loops and zig-zaged through the trees. Suddenly, they exited the forest and were racing through a grassy field.

    Soon enough, the sun sank and the pair stopped to sleep. Blaze stayed awake and watched Rose sleep. She looked so cute while she slept, her chest slowly rising and falling in a steady rythem. She shivered from the cold and he went over to snuggle up against her to keep her warm. She quickly snuggled up to him and let out a small sigh. Blaze felt suddenly drawn to her.

    The next morning, Rose awoke to find Blaze lying next to her. She watched him sleep for awhile, and then snuck away to find some breakfast. She roamed the plain for a few minutes, flying to get a better view. She quickly found a Stanler and took it down with an arial attack. She brought it back and awoke Blaze. They feasted and then headed out tword the academy.

    Within the day, the arrived. They walked up to the huge grey building and up the majestic stairs. Inside, Rose saw so many Pokemon, with so many unusual powers. She felt so happy. Blaze smiled at the look of amazement on her face. He found her to be attractive, but couldn't tell her... not now at least....
     
    This fic is really coming along nicely, you have some talent. So I'm guessin' there's gonna b a few more mutant Pokemon in it sometime soon? Can't wait for the next chapter!
     
    That chapter was much better. You've worked out the description now. It could have ben a bit longer, but you would have probably given too much away. There were a few spelling mistakes, but everyone gets those. Keep up the good work :D

    ~ MCD
     
    I know it was a short chapter, but I had to make it short. The next chapter will be a nice long one, I'm working on it as I speak!! I'll have it done by the end of the week, I hope!!
     
    Sorry it took so long for the next chapter guys, but here it is, finally finished. (I blame finals!!)

    Chapter 3

    Rose looked around her, amazed at all the Pokemon, and all the powers, walking around her. She could hardly believe that all these Pokemon had the same problems she did, went through the same things she did. She never thought she?d find anyone like herself, and now, there were at least 150!

    Blaze looked at her and let out a small giggle. Quit gawking now, or they?ll all think your crazy. he said to her, breaking her trance.

    Rose turned to him, tears filling her sapphire blue eyes. She said slowly ?Thank you. Thank you so much, Blaze. You will never know how much this means to me, how much I?ve always wanted to fit in?. You?ve given me everything I?ve ever dreamed of.?

    Blaze smiled, then said aloud ?Hey, Shimmer! Come over here and meet Rose!?

    A green and blue Skitty waltzed over. She smiled at Blaze and looked at Rose. ?Hi!? she said brightly. ?My name?s Shimmer. You must be Rose! Blaze has told me quite a bit about you!?

    ?How can that be?? Rose asked, slightly confused. ?I only met him yesterday?.?

    ?Oh!? said Shimmer, slightly embarrassed. ?Well, he is telepathic, you know. And I asked him to keep me updated on the flying Flareon we saw last week, so he?s been sending me telepathic messages since he left.?

    ?So,? Rose said, not phased at all. ?You know my power, what?s yours??

    Shimmer looked at Blaze nervously. He nodded and she disappeared in a shimmer of light. Reappearing behind Blaze, Shimmer giggled. ?I did it! I did it!!? she cried, bouncing up and down. ?I did it Blaze! Can you believe it??

    ?What?s she going on about?? Rose asked quietly, looking at Blaze with wide eyes.

    She?s a teleporter. She has the ability to move herself and things she?s touching to different locations. Shimmer loves her power, but was never able to quite control it. I took her under my wing, and taught her how to control her power. She?s been practicing and practicing, and this was the first time she has ever been able to pinpoint her location. Blaze said in a matter-of-a-fact way.

    Shimmer had calmed down by then, and waltzed over to Rose again. ?I?m a teleporter,? she said, not realizing Rose already knew. ?My name, Shimmer, came to me because my mom could teleport and she knew I would be able to, too! She would have taught me everything I needed to know, but she was captured by Team Rocket. I escaped due to my raw talent.?

    Rose saw tears beginning to form in the young Skitty?s eyes. She quickly told her own sad story, to let the young one know she wasn?t alone. ?My dad was killed by Team Rocket,? she said quietly. ?I never even knew him. They killed him for his coat, it was beautiful. Or, so my mom told me?? she paused as the Skitty began to realize she wasn?t alone. ?They missed my mother, because my father was so brave. It was a good thing too, because my mom was pregnant with me at the time.?

    Blaze couldn?t help but smile a bit, even though the story was so sad. He understood how Rose felt. He too had suffered much loss as a young pup. He smiled because Rose was so motherly. She knew exactly how to calm the little Skitty when it was on the verge of tears. He waited to see her next move.

    Rose didn?t want Shimmer to feel sad anymore, so she quickly changed the subject. ?Hey, I?m new around here, so why don?t you give me the Grand Tour of this place??

    Shimmer brightened up immediately. ?Okay!? she said brightly. She turned to Blaze and said, ?Come on, Blaze! You?ve gotta come too!?

    Blaze smiled at the Skitty saying, ?Okay, let?s go!?

    ?Yeah!!? cried Shimmer.

    * * * * * * *

    Shimmer and Blaze took Rose all over the school. They showed her the classrooms in which she would learn to control her powers and enhance them as well. They showed her the dorms, which is where she?d be sleeping and spending some of her free time. They took her to the Dining Hall and to the Courtyards, too. Rose was left breathless at the awesome sites. This place was more like a castle or a mansion than a school.

    Rose was then introduced to all of the teachers. She met Missy (A Delcatty that taught history), Clarence (An Arbok that taught Managing Your Powers), Cecile (A Dragnite that taught Expanding Your Powers), and Samuel (A Haunter that taught Herbal Medicines). All of the teachers were very courteous and glad to meet Rose. She felt as though she finally fit in.

    After being introduced to the teachers, Shimmer ran off to play with some of the younger members of the Academy who weren?t quite ready for the responsibilities of classes. Rose was then introduced to all of Blaze?s friends? and a few of his enemies.

    She first met Chance. Chance was a Ponyta with a strange black question mark shaped line on his forehead. He had the power of flight, just as Rose did. He was very shy.

    Don?t worry about him. He?ll warm up to you eventually. You just have to give him time. Meeting new people was always hard for him, even when we were kids.[

    ?Hi there, Chance,? Rose started. ?My name is Rose, I?m new here.?

    ?Hi,? Chance said so quietly, it was almost inaudible. He turned to Blaze and blinked, then made a quick swishing motion with his tail. Blaze seemed to understand, because he quickly flattened his ears to his head and smiled.

    After leaving Chance behind, Rose began questioning Blaze. ?What was that all about?? she asked, wondering how on earth the two could understand each other.

    It?s very simple. Blaze said. Chance and I have known each other for many, many years. We have set up our own system of communication considering her can?t project thoughts telepathically. And? he was never very fond of me being inside of his head, so I was all for getting this code set up.

    ?What did he say to you? What did you say to him?? Rose asked, her head spinning.

    He asked me who you were, and if we were friends. I simply told him yes.

    ?Oh,? Rose said, turning her attention to the Marill coming up to her. She noticed that the Marill was flaming red instead of icy blue. Before she could question why, the Marill answered her question.

    ?Hi there, Ash!? he called to the Marill. ?How are you today??

    Ash, the bright red Marill, coughed and a bit of smoke flew out of its mouth. ?Oh, I think I?m finally getting over this cold. My fire power is back under control.?

    ?Fire Power?? Rose questioned.

    It was then that Ash noticed she was there. ?Oh!? he cried. ?You must be the new student! Well, hi! My name is Ash. My power is not exactly uncommon, for fire Elements that is! I don?t know any water attacks, all fire!?

    Rose smiled, this guy was very friendly, and humorous too. ?Hi, my name is Rose. I have the power of Flight.? Rose said, almost automatically.

    ?Well then, I guess I?ll be seeing you around! I?ve gotta go see Professor Cindy. I want some more of those cold pills?. They really give my fire power a boost!?

    Rose continued with the introductions for quite some time. She met a ton of Pokemon, and was highly looking forward to becoming aquatinted with more of them. That is, untill she met Glow.

    Glow was an Absol, and was very pretty. But, her looks couldn?t cover up for her attitude. Glow was a horrid person. She was mean to everyone except for her sidekicks, Spark and Shock?. and Blaze?.

    The second she saw Glow, she noticed Glow was glaring at her. The golden furred Absol came over and said, "So this must be the new student, Rose. What's so special about her?"

    "Lay off, Glow. She's new and doen't need that!" Blaze growled.

    Glow was slightly taken aback, but recovered quickly. She smiled icily and said "Sorry, Blaze, I just don't see what's so special about her. Her coat isn't even very pretty."

    Rose found herself becoming enraged and daringly said, "Oh yeah? Well I bet my power is way better than yours!"

    "Oh really?" Glow challenged, showing off her power by zipping into the sky.

    "Small world," Rose said as she flew up to Glow's level.

    Glow immediatly flew back down, whispered something in Blaze's ear, and took off, Spark and Shock at her heels.

    Recovering from her ordeal with Glow, Rose floated back down to earth. "What did she say to you?" Rose asked Blaze slowly.

    Nothing... Blaze said, blushing slightly. He quickly changed the subject. Why don't I take you to your dorm room and you can get settled in...

    "Okay," Rose said, following Blaze into the building and up the stairs.
     
    What a nice fanfic, Mew 13! I have to say, I'd like to know a little more about the school, like what it looks like...you know, the tangible stuff! You do very well describing emotions, and your dialogue is very good! Keep up the good work!
     
    My various thoughts are as follows.

    1-You're excellent at emotional impact, as has been said. You do an excellent job of getting the reader inside the characters head.

    2-Again, as has been said, physical descriptions need work. Although you set up a rough idea of the scene, it leaves a lot to the imagination. In some cases that can be a good thing, but not so earlt in a story. Later on, you don't have to describe as much, as the scene has been set.

    3-It's a cool idea, and manages to lead the reader back to the idea source without seeming a pastiche.

    4-An excellent job of setting backstory, although occasionally, there seems to be too much of a focus on Rose and not enoigh on the other characters.
     
    Woah! Leave for a few days & you miss everything!

    Great new chapter. I love the character interactions with each other (as well as their personalities), & just basically the whole idea. You have great writing talent. But, you do need to work on descriptions. My suggestion would be to try & describe the surroundings more thoroughly, to give us an idea about the environment in which Rose is now in. Keep up the good work!
     
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