The Year of Boglor

[SirBoglor]

I'm a bit late into the month, but oh well. My goals are fairly straightforward, and achievable as long as I don't lose motivation. And hopefully, a little push from you guys will help me greatly. Be sure to ask questions and antagonize me about these things!

College Stuff​

• Work Ethic

This is the main issue that needs addressed. I haven't truly cared about my schoolwork since early grade school. I pass every test that's handed to me without any issues, but the amount of homework that I do is next to nothing. I think that it is mostly from just being stubborn and lazy. High school was quite frankly a joke, but I'm in college now. Refusing to do things will not work.

• Music

I'm going to college for music, simply because I have a strong passion for it. Nothing else really interests me, and I truly love being a musician. However, there are some issues. I have been a choral student throughout my musical career, but once I got to college I realized just how lame it was compared to other instruments. So as of now, I'm starting piano. My lessons begin in a few days, and I feel a fire light in me when I think about learning it. But I'm completely new to it, so I have an immense amount of catching up to do. I need to learn as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Emotional Stuff​

• Mental Health

I should note that I am pretty well and healthy right now. However, I was in a severe depression about two years ago. I'm fully recovered from that awful state as of now. The struggle for me this year will be avoiding another bout, though. College has made me feel...alone, you know? The vast majority of my friends were made in high school, and they're gone now. Plus my lack of social skills is keeping me from really making any new friends. I'm going to need to make new friends and connections ASAP, to do away with any loneliness that I feel.

• Romance

Wanna hear an extremely embarrassing fact about myself? I'm 18, and I've never dated or kissed anyone before. Pretty sad, huh? The reasons for this are for me being a bit too romantic for my own good. I rarely become attracted to anyone, due to me looking for something in particular. What I'm looking for is that spark. That heart pound when you simply think about her. That's all that I really want in a girl. Unfortunately, I've only really felt that spark once, and things didn't work out. But I'm not about to give up. I'm going to find the one for me, no matter how long it takes. This all probably sounds a bit cheesy and lame, but I'm cheesy and lame so oh well.

Anyways, these are my plans for the year. If you have any advice or comments, be sure to let me know. I'll gladly listen. :)​

 

[Nina]

Wanna hear an extremely embarrassing fact about myself? I'm 18, and I've never dated or kissed anyone before. Pretty sad, huh?[/CENTER]

I didn't have a relationship till I was 24 and I still haven't kissed her yet, wasn't even looking for one. It's really not sad, and I was much happier when I stopped worring about being in one. You're not going to be happy with someone unless you're happy being with yourself. I can't say much about the "spark", since I've never wanted anyone else to "complete" me or any standard like that. You're young, focus on yourself first.

 

[SirBoglor]

I didn't have a relationship till I was 24 and I still haven't kissed her yet, wasn't even looking for one. It's really not sad, and I was much happier when I stopped worring about being in one. You're not going to be happy with someone unless you're happy being with yourself. I can't say much about the "spark", since I've never wanted anyone else to "complete" me or any standard like that. You're young, focus on yourself first.

Now about romance: never worry about your age or how many girls have you dated, let it all flow naturally. Don't seek for it too hard, otherwise it'll become forced and a forced relationship will most likely fail. Statistics say that your first relationships will fail, but maybe it won't. The point is that there's no point in overthinking it, or even thinking about it for that matter. There's no shame or pride when it comes to romance.

So sorry, you two! :( I don't think that I worded my romance section in a good way at all. I'll take this post as an opportunity to explain myself better.

I should probably clarify on what I meant by "I'm going to find the one for me, no matter how long it takes." That sentence didn't really mean that I've been doing what you're warning me about. I'm not really searching for her actively, or worrying about it. I just have this feeling that one day, I'm going to just find her. I'll be just some guy pursuing music, and the right person will show up at the right time. Finding someone that I want to date is less of a goal that I'm trying to reach, and more like an event that I hope happens this year. If it doesn't, oh well. I'm more than patient. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on my music and myself.

As for worrying about being single and not kissing anyone, it honestly doesn't bother me. I don't date someone just for the hell of it. And there's no way that I'm wasting away my first kiss. Unless there is a strong natural attraction, I'm really not interested. If people think that it's lame or weird of me, then they can simply get over it. I spent most of high school doing exactly what both of you are warning against. I was so worried about finding the right person, that it made my mind and emotions very unhealthy. Hell, it was part of why I was put into a depression in the first place two years ago. But that has been put behind me now, and I'm going to do things right this time around.

Thank you for being so supportive, by the way. It means a lot. :)

 

[Esper]

I can't speak about music, but I had a similar high school experience without much motivation. College was good for getting me more motivated to learn because I was in part able to choose what I wanted to learn about. But I think what really helps is always having something around you that you want to be doing or studying or learning. You'll probably have to take some courses that don't interest you, but if you can at least take one that does then I think that will help you keep interested enough that you can have a decent work ethic toward school in general.

 

[SirBoglor]

I can't speak about music, but I had a similar high school experience without much motivation. College was good for getting me more motivated to learn because I was in part able to choose what I wanted to learn about. But I think what really helps is always having something around you that you want to be doing or studying or learning. You'll probably have to take some courses that don't interest you, but if you can at least take one that does then I think that will help you keep interested enough that you can have a decent work ethic toward school in general.

Interestingly enough, my productivity has skyrocketed ever since I started piano a few days ago. I never really understood the reason, but this makes complete sense. When I'm willing to work hard at piano, it makes the less interesting stuff easier to work on too. I'll definitely keep this in mind. Thanks for pointing that out! :)

 

[SirBoglor]

So sorry, everyone. I haven't been sharing any updates. I'll start now.

So with work ethic, it has definitely seen some improvements. Unfortunately, it is still not close to what it needs to be. I feel like the next step is to organize a proper schedule, and stick with it. I plan on doing this when the weekend comes, and hopefully I can really get things done next week.

I've been learning the Piano for three weeks now as of today. My technical skills are about as awful as I expected them to be, but there has been steady improvement over time. Plus, my theory knowledge is making the reading aspect go by very smoothly. The only issue right now is that it's, well, not enough. I want to learn more, faster. My instructor is pacing me at the rate of my improvement, which is perfectly okay. I'm just not improving at the rate that I want, so I'm doubling down on my practices. I want to be better, and I'll be damned if I hold myself back in any way.

Socially, I have made absolutely 0 improvement. But here lately, this has actually been on purpose. I've been so focused on piano lately, I simply haven't cared about my social life. As I'm typing this, I still don't really. If I'm going to dedicate any mental resources, it's going to go towards music. A social life is not my first priority right now. But I do still feel quite lonely, so I should probably focus more on that in the near future or I'm in trouble emotionally.