Elite Overlord LeSabre™
America's Best-Selling Full-Size Car, 1993-2005
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- Age 99
- Some Quality Inn somewhere, probably
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Now, I usually don't discuss political matters on this blog, but we here in the United States elect a new President next year. Lost between the bickering of the two primary parties, there is a dark horse candidate. He's tall, lanky, and loves to wear purple. He is the one and only WALUIGI! Here's why you need to seriously consider voting him into the White House next year.
1. He's numbah one. He says so himself.
2. We could cut down heavily on military spending. He'd just throw giant Bob-ombs at any adversaries.
3. Waluigi will not cheat unless he first notices others cheating. From that point on, it's fair game.
4. No presidential limo needed - Waluigi has his own fleet of go-karts to travel in.
5. He's not as rude and smelly as Wario.
6. He's a young guy - he doesn't look like he could fall over dead one day like some of the old guys running for President.
7. We need another President with a badass moustache.
8. With his voice and manner of speech, even the most mundane Presidential speeches suddenly become entertaining.
9. His hat could become as iconic as Abe Lincoln's top hat.
10. And let's face it, neither of the two existing parties have any damn clue what the hell they're doing.
1. He's numbah one. He says so himself.
2. We could cut down heavily on military spending. He'd just throw giant Bob-ombs at any adversaries.
3. Waluigi will not cheat unless he first notices others cheating. From that point on, it's fair game.
4. No presidential limo needed - Waluigi has his own fleet of go-karts to travel in.
5. He's not as rude and smelly as Wario.
6. He's a young guy - he doesn't look like he could fall over dead one day like some of the old guys running for President.
7. We need another President with a badass moustache.
8. With his voice and manner of speech, even the most mundane Presidential speeches suddenly become entertaining.
9. His hat could become as iconic as Abe Lincoln's top hat.
10. And let's face it, neither of the two existing parties have any damn clue what the hell they're doing.