Trainer Isle

[Sparx25]

This chapter's real short.Sorry about that.The next ones will be longer.

Trainer Isle

Here the best trainers from around the world come to train in the many areas. They gain access to the island through achieving certain things. The only other way to even get into the surrounding water is to be a spectator. Here, ten buildings stand to challenge all of the best trainers.The Battle Tower, the Battle Pike, the Battle Pyramid, the Battle Factory, the Battle Palace, the Battle Dome, other various places, and, finally, the Battle Coliseum.

Chapter One: "Let the Battle Begin!"


Suchii walked down the hall and entered the stadium. As the crowd cheered, the announcer called out another name. A boy stepped into the arena. His flame-red hair waved in the wind. He had on a red vest with three pockets on each side over a solid black shirt and blue jeans. He also had dark green eyes and had long legs and arms, and had a medium build. He looked over Suchii's dark brown hair and blue eyes. Suchii had on a blue shirt and blue jeans.Both trainers wore plain white tennis shoes.


From one of Suchii's pokeball came a yellow Electivire with a golden tint. From his opponent's came a blue Metagross.

"Let the Battle Begin!"

 

[Sparx25]

Chapter Two: The Protégé


High in the stands, Mark looked down upon his teacher's pokemon. He had black eyes and ear-length black hair. He wore blue trousers and a blue shirt with white shoes finishing the outfit. Electivire, no way he'll lose. Electivire knows Thunder Punch. One critical hit wins the match. Mark looked at Suchii, confused. Why isn't he issuing commands through the headset? Maybe…Nah…Well…I don't think…Nope, impossible.

Mark watched as Suchii's gold-tinted Electivire charged Metagross. It hit Metagross under its "chin", sending it into the air. Electivire jumped into the air, after its adversary. It was almost eye-level with Mark and several yards higher the Metagross. Electivire looked down upon Metagross and brought up a tail on each side of its body. A ball of yellow energy began to form between the tails. It fired at Metagross, who was sent plummeting to the ground, raising so much dirt nobody could see.


As the dirt cleared, a large crater was revealed where Metagross had landed." Metagross is unable to battle! Suchii and Electivire win!"

Both pokemon returned to their pokeballs. Next came a black Charizard from Suchii's ball and a regular blue Garchomp. Mark heard everyone gasp, as he had, when they saw the rare black Charizard. Garchomp charged Charizard, who side stepped the Headbutt attack, and counter-attacked with Sky Uppercut. Garchomp was launched into the air. Charizard flew into the air, grabbed Garchomp, and slammed it into the ground. Garchomp got up and shot a yellow beam from its mouth. The blast hit Charizard, who, after recovering from the blast, fired its own Dragon's Breath attack.


"Garchomp is unable to battle! Suchii and Charizard win!?" Mark watched as Charizard returned to its ball. Suchii left the arena and Mark got up to meet him outside.

 

[Scarlet Weather]

Yah... a Five paragraph chapter is so much longer....

Listen, you need this piece of advice: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER POST A CHAPTER UNLESS IT IS AT LEAST FOUR PAGES IN LENGTH ON A WORD PROCESSOR. IF POSSIBLE, AIM FOR MORE THEN THAT.

Describe both trainers' Pokemon in more detail, OK? Also, don't forget to describe Pokemon as well as people- you gave their color, but if I didn't know what an Electivire or Metagross or Garchomp was, I'd be confused. And remember, all attacks must be described. (Cough, Charizard's dragon breath, cough).

To make your story better, all you need to do is put a little more effort into developing the personality of your characters, describing your setting, and increasing the length. You do have some minor grammatical errors, but most are typoes, and could be easily fixed using a spellcheck. So yeah, focus on increasing the length of each chapter first. The rest of the story can be improved once you do that.