Lessons You've Learned From Pokemon.

[Melodyfree]

*If you swim around a beach shore long enough, you'll either encounter a glitchy abomination or an impossibly strong powerhouse.

*Humans only know how to walk, run, battle, sleep and use a computer. Pokemon take care of all the other stuff.

*Most 10-year-olds have the physical and mental capacity to run around an entire country collecting badges and money from other trainers, then challenging the strongest of all and becoming a worldwide phenomenon in under a week if they believe hard enough.

*Stealing pokemon from trainers is bad, but breaking and entering into somebody's house to steal everything that isn't nailed to a wall is a-ok!

*Nobody ever carries a weapon around, especially not the villains! They use poorly-trained pokemon instead, and rather than alerting their higher-ups they just run away and allow you to explore the place.

*Mythical gods can be controlled by a small child if they have enough flimsy pieces of colored metal.

*The world stands completely still until you do something, and if you lose you can just try again! It's not like anything important will happen while you're gone!

*Birds without wings can fly you across a country, and pokemon smaller than your hand can guide you across vast amounts of water comfortably.

*If the battery runs dry, time stops. Time gods be damned! Sucks for you, kid.

*If you don't have friends, you're either a villain or a failure.

*The only crime that exists is stealing other people's pokemon. Anything and everything else is excusable.

*Every animal, bug, fish and plant in the world is oviparous. Except mythical gods, they can't reproduce at all. So much for heirs, eh? I guess once they're dead the world is doomed.

*A live pink jell-o can reproduce with every living creature on the planet. Humans are probably included.

*Sometimes if you illegally obtain too many steroids for your pokemon, they'll morph into rotten eggs and you will die soon after.

 

[Andcetera]

I learned that after the 2nd season of any show, its no longer worth your time.

 

[giradialkia]

I've learned that evil organisations have no problem with referring to themselves that way.
I've learned that girl's were forbidden to leave the homeplace for 3 whole years (not being sexist, you probably know what i mean anyways..).
I've learned that Dialga and Palkia affect the game in no way whatsoever, and share the same visual-effects sequence (which sucks).
I've learned that Regigiga's is useless, and in fact, only one Pokemon.
Education is not compulsory for 10 year old children. Neither is nutrition, or personal hygene.
Lugia is not a water type (wtf?).
Small mice kill whales with relative ease.
Running did not exist for several years.
It's ok to soft reset, that dragon's not going anywhere..
Cresselia sucks.
It's entirely possible to have intercourse with anything of the opposite gender, be it plant, fish, machine, or creature.
A six foot tall turtle can shoot water from cannons on it's back.
Yeah, Pokemon teaches alot...

 

[Heiheipig]

I learned that:

The "Don't talk to strangers rule doesn't apply.
Wearing dorky outfits doesn't get you mocked.
You can still drink without a mouth.
People are great! You can stare at them for hours, and they won't do a thing.

 

[Norcinu]

That was horribly sexist.

Barely :9

But sexist jokes are thrown around from time to time but it was only for light hearted fun and based off the majority of how males would react to such a situation. Besides it wasn't that bad at all but if it hit some raw nerve in you then just forget about it. Nothing ill-meant.

 

[Britney's Circus]

That Playboy Bunnies are actually called Lopunny.

 

[fenyx4]

Awesome thread. Some of these posts that I've read are really funny/interesting! :laugh: Here are some of mine; I didn't think I'd have this many at first. Sorry if some of them are too obscure/don't make sense...: (Spoilered for length.)

Spoiler:

• In a floating log city, a old man can't see a darn island for crap. But bring in a certain animal in your party, and his blindness is magically cured. Until that animal leaves your party, of course.

• Bells are freaking hard to find on mountains. :t358:

• Trendy phrases help some fish change locations. :t349:

• Such fish can only grow if they are beautiful. If you're ugly, too bad! :t350:

• Viruses actually help you get stronger. o_O

• You haven't fully experienced ugliness until you see a rock-nose compass chunk and a ghost...thing that's sealed in a stone and is obsessed with the number 108.

• If you press "Down" once, you can have a staring contest with the screen forever.

• Even if a new town is a few steps away from you/is in your line of sight, you have to physically BE IN the town to fly to it.

• Animals can move out of the "Summary Screen" picture box with ease?!

• Fire can exist underwater. Even though certain fiery reptiles :t004: can die by getting their tail flame wet, they can still survive after being completely submerged in water.

• By simply AIMING FOR TEH HORN, you can do almost anything!! :t112:

• Though many people have KO'd wild animals for experience, you never see any unconscious/dead bodies lying around after the battle.

• If you illegally obtain Berries or Machines using certain devices, you can stare at the "Poke Ball" pocket in your bag forever. Also, whatever's in your TM/HM and Berries Pockets becomes unreadable.

• If you illegally encounter/create certain Pokemon, those Pokemon can become rotten eggs when transferred to other lands. Also, meeting Pokemon illegally can paralyze you forever while you're running around.

• Two jewels are the key to the Internet's existence.

• An animal that is presumed to have created all other animals can still get its butt kicked by the animals it created. WTF?

• Female mimes are constantly referred to as males.

• If you're a bee, a venomous moth, or a floating magnet (not counting Magnet Rise), you can still get hit by Earthquakes and other ground attacks despite the rules saying you're supposed to be immune when flying/levitating.

• Hedgehogs can turn into flying reindeer with wings for ears by holding flowers.

• Explosions always signify your impending doom in battle facilities, no matter who caused then in the first place.

• In another world (related to Pokemon) ;):

• Little jiggling puffs can beat up and knockout super-powerful psychic cat clones, flying space animals, race-car drivers with guns, swordsmen, gorillas, plumbers, turtles, dragons, hedgehogs, psychic kids, princesses, giant floating gloves, bounty hunters, and other creatures with ease, all by resting for a bit.

• Those stupid jiggling puffs can also get an instant growth spurt by grabbing rainbow-colored orbs. The growth is permanent if the orb is grabbed on certain stages.

• A psychic cat clone can be super-powerful in one world, yet (sadly) it can become rubbish in another.

• In another world, if you're a wolf moving at extreme speed, you can't hurt foes. But if you're an electric mouse, moving a little quickly to attack can. :t025:

• People who refuse to believe that certain little Gold and Silver-colored pieces of plastic and metal will exist one day can only hope to facepalm in the future.

• And by putting all your heart and soul into something (like making speculated plastic Gold and Silver cartridges real), you can actually influence game companies.

• Almost any word can be used as a synonym for "rice balls/onigiri".

• If you get involved with animals and masterminds of mirages:

• Your voice can change DRAMATICALLY.

• Digimon isn't supposed to exist. According to Professor Oak,"...you can't turn a soul into data!" :cer_cry: How could he say that? So I've been watching a lie since 1999? I think NOT! He just doesn't want any Pokemon competition, I guess...

Wait...if that's true, how is the Pokemon Storage System supposed to freaking exist?!
​

• [S-HIGHLIGHT]Professor Oak contradicts himself and forgets stuff frequently. [/S-HIGHLIGHT] Apparently:

1. Oak forgot that animals obviously can be turned into data.​

2. In Sinnoh, Oak forgot in that there is currently no "white rock" to be seen in Kanto.
​

3. Though Oak told Ash that he would've gotten a Pokemon if he arrived earlier, Oak still would've been 1 Pokemon short for the would-be late Trainer if Ash and 2 other Trainers arrived earlier instead. He'd have to give out Pikachu regardless of having to resort to giving out Pikachu. Oak didn't realize he would actually need 4 Pokemon stocked, not just 3 Pokemon and Pikachu... (search EP001 and look under trivia for better understanding.)
​

4. Oak created a temporal paradox in Pokemon 4Ever: Voice of The Forest that contradicts time, but cancels #3 above (again, see EP001 trivia for more info)
​

• Only people named Ash can save the world from birds.

• If you give out mementos, you can become unconscious. A bonus: you weaken your foe as well!

• Certain animals can use elemental stones as steroids.

• To avoid steroid controversies, just eat berries to make everything all right! Your steroidal levels decrease instantly!

• Berries can also give you defense against certain attacks. And if you eat a berry you hate, you can get confused.

• Developing amnesia can build up defense. Using your belly as a drum makes you super-strong! (but saps half your energy). Also, walking around with a swagger in your step makes your foes stronger and confuses 'em.

• Besides your genes, who you fight determines how strong you can be later in life.

• In caves, running around makes animals appear out of nowhere.

• Running around trying to catch/fight with 151+ funky animals can instantly start a fad.

• Though villainous crime syndicates are wrong to sell animals, game companies can host events to make you waste time/gas money for certain animals.

• People will actually take the time to collect a bunch of pixels and data from such events as well. On that note, n

• Leftovers aren't nasty, they're great! They give you energy!

• Don't say that someone died when they really were just roaming around and think no one will notice, because you'll regret it later on when someone starts telling chronicles about past events.

• If you're a firefly, your level determines your kid's species.

• Eternal stones can make your kid have the exact same personality as you 50% of the time. You can also do this if you're a psychic freak.

• If you toss Whack-A-Moles, giant whales & orcas, or space deity animals into space while battling in a revolutionary manner, hilarity ensues.

• While giant orcas and green dragons can stare at you intently, red dinosaurs would rather look away. (sorry about the obscurity of it; kudos to you if you get it!)

• Really muscular men can be so pouty when they lose, especially in Kanto.

• Computer soldiers can cost way more in one game version's gambling prize redemption area than they do in another.

• Pigs can fly, if given the chance. All they need is someone with expert hacking skills.

• If you're large, blissful, carry eggs around, boil them, and make illusory clones of yourself, you can piss off a lot of people.

• If you replace blue-haired girls who have jogging shorts, many people will cry and/or hate you.

• Even if you become a Champion, the Champion you beat will never leave the room, and you never get the title "Champion" to replace "Animal Trainer" in your name.

• If you become a Champion 2 times or more, people keep on getting dazzled by your abilities, even when you just fought them 10 minutes ago. Looking at you, Cynthia. This is also evident when you fight a strong Hawaiian girl in a tropical regions; she keeps on wondering how far your bond will take you even after you've beaten the Elite 4 and other batttle facilities multiple times

• Old dragon masters are idiots. They think that you need a virtuous heart to win battles, when all you really need is better moves and stronger animals than them. They also think that the Elite 4 is the best place for battles, when there are plenty of people/places with stronger animals than them.

• If a Dog Roars you away, your electronic encyclopedia cannot track the Dog's location again. Also, your electronic encyclopedia needs you to be outside battle facilities to track animal sightings.

• Overgrown lilypads love to dance.

• Game companies really hate pirates, especially when they use SeaGallop ferries. :pirate: Their hatred is just hidden to the naked eye. ;)

• Other trainers can't turn their heads for crap. You have to be directly in their line of sight for them to see and battle you. Also, if you're in a fight, you're magically paralyzed until your animals finish fighting.

• You have a 1 in 8192 chance of seeing funky-colored animals covered in glitter.

• Catching and fighting with animals can be rewarding/addicting. But if you get a diploma for it, you can't keep the diploma. :(

• Redheads and psychic freaks (with makeovers) can be HOT. Also, a certain redhead can make her gym very hot and steamy.

• The government is so incompetent. 10-year-old kids are always required to end crises. And leaders of gyms almost freakin' everyone else in the world are/ is so lazy! Many of them have animals that are much stronger than your animals during the crises, so they could easily handle the situation themeselves. But NO... They just stand in their gyms/houses as if nothing's happening to the world.

• If it's raining on a route right before a treehouse city, you just have to take one step into the city to make the rain disappear.

• Once a weather crisis is over, old men have nothing better to do than stand in front of a cave forever to let it "rest".

• An unconscious animal can't do crap in a fight, but it can do plenty of tasks outside a fight without any energy.

• In a world primarily centered on animals fighting each other, you can banished to a distorted world for violence.

• If you're a girl, and your name begins with "Azu" and ends in "Rill", you have a 1 in 3 chance of getting a sex change later in life just by growing up. FREAKY. O_O

• Though members of the league (as well as rivals) can use animals evolved at illegal levels or with illegal actions without penalty, if you do it, you get labeled as a n00b/cheater/hacker for life.

• Even though psychic foxes are supposedly way smarter than humans with high IQ, they still don't know what to do with man-made items. Also, even though they're really smart, they still only know how to do 4 things.

• Don't throw rocks at sparrows :t021: or taunt weak, red fish :t129:; you'll regret it later in life. :t022: :t130:

• Once you catch an animal, you need at least one with you at all times.

• Abnormal electric mice can fluctuate in level frequently, being very powerful in one region and weak as crap in the next. And this process repeats and continues... :t025:

• If you ride on water on the back of one animal, you can use another animal to dive, even if it can't swim.

• You can stand right next to your animals and get hit by hail, fire, water, rocks, sandstorms, earthquakes, and explosions without feeling a thing or getting hurt.

• For some animals to be strong, people must make them happy.

• 10-year-olds technically don't have curfews. While they have the ability to go home, they don't have to return. They can even go running around at 3:00 AM in the morning in other cities without the police doing a thing!

• Anyone who is a freak about games is awesome.

[AGELIMIT]13+ or 18+, I think.

The ESRB is a liar. E for Everyone my butt. T for Teen/M for Mature is more like it. Look at all this mature content:

• Cockfighting, gambling, and Nidoqueen. 'Nuff said.

• Enter a double battle, and have a baby skunk headbutt a space deity animal. X_X

• Go in any bed, and hold down the Up button for a few seconds.

• What really happens in animal daycares??? Eh?

• Huh? Giant whales and blind kittens can get freaky with each other?!

• Even if you don't like your partner in the day-care, you're required to have babies with him/her. And if you're a purple-pink amoeba, you can make babies with inanimate objects/animals of unknown genders.

• If a kangaroo has a baby, its baby already has a baby during birth. *sighs* So much for abstinence...

[/AGELIMIT]

The world of Pokemon is deep! :knockedou

 

[Her]

That it's taken too seriously.

 

[Norcinu]

XD What? I thought the PG13+ part was the most hilarious!

I learned that fish turn into octopi, and that huge dinosaur-like tree animals with bannana earings can fly even though with their shape, size and mass it would be impossible. Also you can make your Pokemon stay "young" forever if you just press B.

 

[Electricz]

i learnt getting hit with electricity doesnt kill you (ash) and that ash is dumb no to teaam rockety disguises

 

[lenzxyz]

You can still feel the earthquake even when you are floating ~Magnemite Family... hihi^^

 

[Azumi]

Do not wear a hat if you have a monkey as a pet.

 

[Alexithymia~]

That pokemon as big as cities can still fit into your fist if you trap them =D
That I can easily be sucked into games >D

 

[Electricz]

i learnt its ok to gamble as a 10yr old (on the games)

 

[The Hero Without a Name]

the world is communist You get free healthcare. Also, you can get from one city to another in a matter of seconds.

 

[bewbs]

I've learned some good words. =>

 

[Lynnx]

- That it's okay to carry around 1,000,000+ in currency at a time. (No, seriously. That bothers the heck out of me.)

- That people stand in the same place all day and somehow hear you say things even if your character can only talk in all-capital two-word phrases. Argh.

- That everyone from an evil organization claims to steal other people's Pokemon, but they still insist on using Zubat, Glameow, Stunky, Meowth, and the like. Over and over and over again.

- That Gym Leaders are people with the supreme patience enabling them to stand in one spot until the end of time doing nothing but looking impressive.

- That if you spin in one spot fast enough, you'll magically change into fancy clothes without lifting a finger.

- That creatures who can shoot fireballs and create earthquakes are unable to cut down one measly little two-foot-tall tree (which their Trainer could step over in two seconds) until they get a shiny little piece of metal which, apparently, has supernatural powers.

- Oh, and that policemen get all paranoid at night and will only fight you then.

 

[Ayselipera]

I have learned that most people only require a one room
house that usually only has a bookcase and table in it.

 

[Her]

Gambling for Pokemon dolls is fun!

 

[Skip Class]

That when you throw a pokeball or anything spherical in real life it won't comeback to you