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The Daily Chit-Chat

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インフェルノの津波

Seriously?
    • 3,901
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    OH YEAH, TAKE THIS:

    Spoiler:
     
    Luck

    Luck

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    • 6,779
    Posts
    16
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    • Seen May 20, 2023
    Your jokes aren't tasteless enough Ryo. This is the kind of joke you should be making.

    A catholic priest and a rabbi were walking down the street. They saw a little kid.
    The Catholic priest said "I wanna screw that kid." The rabbi replied "Screw him out of what?"
     

    Stronkadonk

    :^)
    • 2,005
    Posts
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    The Rabbi thought the kid was getting screwed out of a penny or two. See, I know how to be an ass. The strict moderation here prevents me from totally "whipping it out", if you know what I mean.
     
    Netto Azure

    Netto Azure

    Kiel
    • 9,468
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Luck said:
    Your jokes aren't tasteless enough Ryo. This is the kind of joke you should be making.

    A catholic priest and a rabbi were walking down the street. They saw a little kid.
    The Catholic priest said "I wanna screw that kid." The rabbi replied "Screw him out of what?"
    Click to expand...

    I don't like to say it. But that made me laugh. :B
     

    Jack O'Neill

    Banned
    • 8,343
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    18
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    • Age 34
    • Seen Jul 15, 2015
    Religious humour tends to be rather hit-or-miss in my view, but sure, why not?

    [jq]A priest, a rabbi, and a Baptist minister are all out on a lake fishing. A few hours roll by and when it starts to get hot out they remember that they left the cooler in the car back on shore.

    The priest gets up and says, "Boys, it's getting pretty hot out and I'm thirsty. Think I'll go get something to drink." With that he stands up, steps overboard and walks across the water to shore, gets a drink, and walks across the water back to the boat.

    The Baptist minister is praying and thanking the Lord for the miracle he witnessed when the rabbi stands up and says, "Well, it really is getting warm out, time to get something to drink!" Again, without so much as a pause, the rabbi steps over the side and walks across the water, gets a drink, and walks back across the water.

    The Baptist minister, full of faith at seeing two miracles in one day, stands up and loudly declares, "In the name of God and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I too shall walk the waters and get a drink, amen!" He steps off the rail and promptly plunges up to his neck in the lake.

    As the Baptist minister sputters and swims, the rabbi nudges the priest and says, "Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?"[/jq]
    [jq]Rabbi Altmann and his secretary, Frau Epstein, are sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin prior to the start of World War II. "Herr Altmann," says Frau Epstein, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why! A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"

    "On the contrary, Frau Epstein!" Rabbi Altmann replies. "When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: That the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we're on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know, it makes me feel a whole lot better!"[/jq]
    [jq]A Catholic priest says to a rabbi, "It seems to me that, since the Creator made pork, He must have made it for some purpose. Therefore, it must be a sin not to use it, don't you think? So, will you finally eat some pork?"

    The rabbi replies, "I WILL try some...at YOUR wedding, Father!"[/jq]
    [jq]A minister tells his rabbi friend about a dream he had. "Last night, I dreamed of the Jewish Heaven. It was a slum, and it was overflowing with people, running, playing, talking, sitting, doing all sorts of things. But the dream, and the noise, was so terrific that I woke up."

    The rabbi says, "Really? Last night, I dreamed of the Protestant Heaven. It was a nice, proper suburb, with neatly trimmed lawns, and houses all neatly lined up."

    "And how did the people behave?" the minister asks.

    "What people?"[/jq]
    [jq]An old Jewish man is finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he is searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official finds a golden bust of Lenin.

    Customs: What is that?
    Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That's Lenin! The great visionary who created this workers' paradise!

    The official laughs and lets the old man through. Later, the old man arrives at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official finds the bust of Lenin.

    Customs: What is that?
    Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That's Lenin! The rat bastard! I'll put him on display on my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from coming home!

    The official laughs and let hims through. When the old man finally arrives at his family's house in Jerusalem, his grandson sees him unpack the bust.

    Grandson: Who is that?
    Old man: Who is that? Who is that?! Don't say "Who is that?" say "What is that?" That, my child, is eight pounds of gold![/jq]
     

    インフェルノの津波

    Seriously?
    • 3,901
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Also, I didn't make those Chuck Norris jokes, so that makes it an automatic awesome(or good). Some of those were really funny and some made no sense.

    Tom Cruise.....UGH, I hate almost all celebrities except for Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, and Chris Tucker.
     
    Luck

    Luck

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    • 6,779
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    Years
    • Seen May 20, 2023
    It's been a while since I saw a movie, actually D:
    I can't remember the last one I watched, but I'm pretty sure I remember District 9 being one of the latest, which was very awesome tyvm.
     

    インフェルノの津波

    Seriously?
    • 3,901
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Oh yeah, District 9 is very good.

    But, I must say, I am Legend always wins to me....

    Chuck Norris had sex with the girl in your sex dreams. OH RLY? WELL THEN, WHAT IF IT WAS A GUY? Oh wait, Chuck Norris's gender is Chuck Norris.
     
    Luck

    Luck

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    • 6,779
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen May 20, 2023
    I am Legend.
    Is that the one where Will Smith is one of the only people alive?

    Best idea ever. Will Smith vs. Johnny Depp in acting.
     

    NarutoActor

    The rocks cry out to me
    • 1,974
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    I don't mind religious jokes as long as if they are not demeaning. Hey we all need to make fun of our selfs once in a while, no need to be so cold.
     
    Luck

    Luck

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    • 6,779
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    • Seen May 20, 2023
    NarutoActor said:
    I don't mind religious jokes as long as if they are not demeaning. Hey we all need to make fun of our selfs once in a while, no need to be so cold.
    Click to expand...
    Those are actually wise words. :O
    THAT WONDERFUL PIXY GUY! said:
    Wow, I came here at the perfect time.

    This is why I don't come here often.

    Does anyone else get that feeling?
    Click to expand...

    Well, we aren't Canadian, so we talk about more things than snow and hockey, so excuse me :(
     
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