Recent content by feebakarp

Chapter 1: Petalburg Reunion The Petalburg City gym was buzzing with excitement. Seventeen year old May Maple was returning home today, after successfully winning the Hoenn Grand Festival. Her father had called up all her old friends and invited them to throw May a massive surprise party. For...

Sorry for the delay. Been busy with university and working on other fan fics. Chapter 3: In or Out? 8 years ago on Route 120... “Hang on, we're almost there.” “I can’t make it, I’m done. It’s up to you.” “No, I can’t do this alone.” “You must.” Present Day Three weeks passed...

Chapter 1 A solitary figure emerged from tunnel leading towards the arena. Her long blonde hair covered just enough of her face to block her left eye. The enormous crowd gathered at the Lily of the Valley stadium cheered as the champion slowly made her way to the battle field. Dressed in all...

Chapter 2: Trial by Fire 8 years ago Fortree City Pokémon Centre... “Burn it all to the ground!” “Sir, what about the boy?” “Forget about him, he is not important.” Present Day “Sean!” Gwen barked at her new partner as she waved her hand across his face. The newest addition to Team...

Thanks :-)

Young rockets Chapter 1: Fresh blood 8 years ago on the outskirts of Fortree City... “Combusken, use double kick!” a young green haired boy shouted. The young fowl Pokémon leapt towards a Mightyena and unleashed two devastating kicks sending the dark Pokémon flying into a tree. The...

Prologue My name is Kai, Kai Alexander-Oak to be exact. The fact is; I prefer to introduce myself as Kai Alexander. I realised early on that the added pressure of being part of the Oak legacy while trying to master being a Pokémon trainer would be too much. Many people tell me I look exactly...

I see what you mean bu using main alot but main mast,boom and sail are parts of a ship. Changing "main deck" to floor is a good idea.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and reviews. Just hope this chapter is better. Chapter 4 The Captain stood at the railing staring out at the ocean. Behind him dozen’s of Team Aqua cadets all fought with each other over who was to give the Captain the bad news. The smallest, a young girl...

Chapter 3 Panic and trepidation grabbed hold of every aboard the ship. A sense of impending catastrophe was evident on Red’s facial expressions. Holding Erica in his arms, he pulled her closer so that her head would rest on his shoulder. “There’s only one way out of this for us.” He...

Thanks for tha advice. That link that you mentioned would be really helpful.

Chapter 2 A cold breeze gently blew against Red as he stood at the new Rustboro harbour. The light blue shirt he wore didn’t offer much protection against the bitter cold, the tiny hairs on his arms lifted as he pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his black jeans. Red was oblivious to...

I just began working on my first pokemon fan fiction and I'm having problem giving a good description of my characters and a good description overall.When giving a description of my characters I don't know how much is enough, am I suppose to describe them head to toe or just give a few details...

Thanks for the advice buoysel & citrinin , it's really helpful. I'm not sure what to do, do I edit the 1st post or do I post an edited version in the same thread.

Chapter 1 The sound of chatter filled the house as people began to celebrate. The bright decorations around the outside house let the whole of Rustboro know that today was someone’s birthday. Inside the house a fifteen year old boy was unwrapping gifts in his room away from the guests. He was...