Have I described my cat here yet? Now that I think about it, I don't think I have. Wow. You guys have been missing out.
My cat attempts wholeheartedly to kill me. He does this at every opportunity imaginable: I can't begin to count how many times I've simply walked by and he lashes out. Then, when I try to shoo him away, he meows pathetically like I'm the one causing him duress. The only time he isn't cruel is when he's hungry: then, he follows me absolutely everywhere, getting underfoot and persistently jumping on my lap as I try to type/eat/what-have-you. Once I feed him, he reverts back to his dark nature.
Also, he's afraid of ceiling fans, stares intently at nothing, and is prone to running around the house with bushy tail only to stop abruptly with a violent shredding of claws through carpet, back convulsing creepily, to stare at nothing once again. He is also deathly afraid of my dog, and yet will sometimes rub up against him in a most loving manner.
That's my cat. I swear he is going to be represented in spirit by a pokemon in one of my fics someday.