Lying to your parents

[Flame Claw]

I don't lie, I tell the truth. THAT's what worries them.

 

[Neutral]

We've all done it and there's no shame in admitting it. The real question is why we do it and for what reasons? Are we to be blamed for lying to our parents? Are there certain situations where we should lie to them? If we get caught, should we be upset even though we lied?

Just recently I had a friend speak about her sister and the fact that she lies to her mom. She created a facebook page and kept it a secret just so her mom wouldn't know about it. The irony of it all is that her mom even asked her if she wanted to make a facebook account (note: the mom has one herself) and the daughter told her no, even though she already had one.

Well, eventually someone found out and told her mom about it. My friend's sister ended up getting in trouble for lying and keeping it secret, while in the end she was angry at her mom. I mean, why? She lied about it, her mom even offered, and she said no. Does she have a right to be angry? To me, I wouldn't say so, especially since her mom offered. This is just one of her lies amongst many while growing up though.

I think the main reason is privacy. The daughter doesn't want the Mum keeping updates or having the ability to get into her facebook.
I would never add my family or parents if I had one for the same reason. Thankfully mine repels technology.

I have lied to my parents before, not guilty about it either and I'd say the motive and nature of the lie imo matters more than the lying in itself.
I rarely was a trouble girl but when I wanted to some freedom. I had to lie to get it because my parents are just too strict. I will always try to balance between what is expected of me and what I want to do.

 

[Taemin]

If I were to get punched in the face every time that I told a white lie, I'd be dead by now.

Now, actual, hardcore "I didn't sleep with your girlfriend last night, I swear!" lies, that's.. something I don't often do. xD;

I think the worst way that I've ever lied to my mom, would be the typical:
"Do you have a lot of homework to do tonight, honey?"
"Nooo, mommm. ; ; "

& I am secretive to my family with a lot of things, but that's a trust issue, and not really 'lying'. :/

 

[Lopnis]

I tell lies to my parents well it's more like not telling them stuf I don't know I don't tell them if I'm doing bad emotionally I don't like to trouble them I don't tell them someting that I thought would make them hate me like diffrences in belief and a big thing I won't tell them until I'm out of the house or on my death bed or if they catch me in it that's the one I dread and I don't tell them when I do something that could be illegal but everything else I tell them but I don't know if that balances it out though...

 

[ManhattanTheStarr]

Back in Elementary, I ALWAYS lied about EVERYTHING. Every time I came home from school, my mom would ask me, "were you good in school?", and I would always say yes, regardless of the fact that I'd get in trouble pretty much everyday. I remember even lying to get a game I really wanted (in specific, it was Kirby Tilt n' Tumble for the Game Boy Color x3). I told my mom I did good in school so she would take me out to get it. Ugh, I was just a bad kid. :x

 

[vudw]

For me... lying was a bit more than just trying to shield myself from possible consequences. Everything has a consequence that you can't always see, and I learned that early on, so that's not the reason I lied so much when I was younger. To me, lying became like a game of bluffs and tells (or whatever term works better here), a social challenge that actually played to my interests.

Even now I still lie, but more to probe for other's mind and behavior than anything. For protecting myself... I just tend to keep things to myself in the first place, or just give the necessary details. It's probably this behavior of mine that helped me learn how to imagine about what other people were thinking about, to a degree, and why I have an interest in psychology now.

[Also, enjoying reading what you all have down here for yourselves. :3]

 

[Demigod]

I actually rarely ever lied to my parents, in fact I can't remember the last time I did! But yeah I did lie at least once.

 

[Morgnarok]

We have all lied yes that is true but some of us have reason's and some don't thou.Some times you may lie to cover up something you did wrong or some times you may lie to protect someone from finding something out.

I have lied mainly to cover up things i did wrong in the past thou XD

 

[RYOUKI]

I used to not lie to my parents, then I reached puberty. When I lie to my parents, it usually something that involves me doing rebel stuff like telling them where am I, did I clean the room, am I using the computer, or stuff like that.

They're... harmless lie so I don't think that it matters but..

 

[Morgnarok]

I used to not lie to my parents, then I reached puberty. When I lie to my parents, it usually something that involves me doing rebel stuff like telling them where am I, did I clean the room, am I using the computer, or stuff like that.

They're... harmless lie so I don't think that it matters but..

Same here but then i just reached about age 16 and didn't care what my grandmother thought and did whatever i wanted basiclly.

 

[G-Man]

I used to lie to my parents a lot, mainly because, being Mexican, I'll get a physical punishment rather than a time out or whatever privileges revoked. Later on in my teens I stopped lying as much, and my parents pretty much let me learn from my mistakes. Last time I lied to them was when I said I was not joining the military. They though I went to college.

 

[Amore]

I lie about the odd thing, like homework (I never say I have it, I just do it when I feel like it or in school), and also slightly manipulate the truth so it sounds like I've got more friends than I have - but that's just to keep them from worrying. I think as long as the motive is acceptable, lying's not a problem.

 

[Ineffable~]

I lie to avoid getting in trouble from my parents... but another reason is because I get embarrassed pretty easily from my personal tastes. It's so bad it's almost like a complex.

This.

Spoiler:

It depends on the reasons behind the lying. The act itself isn't negative (imo), it all depends on the motive.

Hiiro's example is an odd one, but I think I can understand the girl's point of view. She probably didn't want her mum controlling her Facebook account, which is why she declined the offer and then proceeded to make one herself. It's a statement of independence, everyone likes to feel like they have some sort of control in their life, especially in the young teen years where you're just passing from being an entirely dependent child into a much more independent young adult. Some people just like to hasten that process.

I don't know how old your friends sister is, but I'd guess she's about 10-14? Correct me if I'm wrong. She probably notices everyone older than her having a Facebook and sees it as something that would make her an adult, and she wouldn't want her mum involved in that.

Or of course, she could just be doing things she shouldn't be doing on there.

Lying is something that's natural, and I think the majority of the time there is a good reason for it. In order to avoid a negative situation, being judged by other people, being punished, losing out on a good oppurtunity, etc. the world is too harsh for people to be honest all the time, and that's just as true for kids as it is for adults. I personally think it's only a minority that lie for malicious reasons.

When it comes to parents, they're the main authority figure in a child's life. Nobody likes having someone in control that tells them what to do and what they shouldn't be doing, and almost every child is going to lie to their parents about certain subjects. They know what's expected of them, they know what they shouldn't be doing and they'd rather tell a quick and simple lie than face the consequences. I think a lot of people would.

And for some families as well, parents don't feel like a 'parent', they don't feel like someone you're close with and able to trust and tell anything. In some cases they are literally only an authority figure, a more accurate description would be the family police officer. At least, that's what it feels like with my parents. I'm sure some would say the same.

I'm someone who will only be honest with someone I'm personally close with emotionally. With some subjects, I'm not going to trust anyone. That's just how I am. Whether my parents ask about certain things, or if it's a stranger on the street, my response will be the same. Just because they're my parents doesn't mean they get a free pass to know about my thoughts, feelings and actions. As a result, I will lie about some things. I don't think that's wrong, I think it's natural. Nobody's really to blame I think. I don't blame my parents for not having a strong emotional bond with me, and I think that is what is really required if there's to be honesty. It's just the way things are.

I truly could not agree more with this post. :D

I lie to my parents for a whole lot of reasons . . . most of which Vendak mentioned, and also because my parents really don't share my principles and thus wouldn't understand at all. Mostly I sneak things past my mother because of things she doesn't want me doing that I feel I have every right doing under my own consent.
Welp, I can't help it, I have a bad relationship with my family that I probably couldn't fix if I needed to. :/

Oh, also, homework. :( That's the only thing I feel bad about lying about.

 

[Roxichu]

I lie to my parents when I know the truth will upset them, and they don't want to hear it anyway. Everything is happier that way. ~_O

 

[saint paxton]

If I lie to my parents, it's about school. I don't necessarily tell them everything, but not telling =/= lying.
I don't really have a lot to lie about anymore, since they let me do what I do, and I let them do what they do. It's a nice little system. I lied to them a LOT as a kid, and probably up until I was about fifteen or sixteen.

I don't like to lie because I have a really hard time owning up to it.

 

[thorn96]

I lie to avoid getting in trouble from my parents... but another reason is because I get embarrassed pretty easily from my personal tastes. It's so bad it's almost like a complex.

This. I'm just like this O_O

 

[KitKat13]

To be particular, almost everyone lies, so I do admit that I lie. The reason that I lie sometimes is that I don't want any fight, trouble, or anything else that might harm and hurt my parents and love ones. I think that is the power of lying, to protect someone you love from negative emotions. But still, consequences....

 

[Kurtroll]

I lie to avoid conversation only. Which usually means I did something bad.

Don't talk to me, and I won't lie.

 

[geox123]

This topic makes me want to write an essay on why this is ever justified, haha. But for the sake of brevity, I will say this: I lie to them because I know them. I know, or can at least make a very well educated and statistically felt guess at, how they will/would react if they knew the truth. It's sort of a double-edged sword really. I know that if they would ever object to anything, its for my own good. But then I find myself doing things because I want the experience. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger :D

 

[skyguard]

Cracked did an article on evil baby behaviors, and number six on the list was lying. The article explains that babies will cry in order to get attention and even briefly pause to see if anyone is listening. My view on lying to parents, is that, if some problem is actually serious enough for you to consider lying, (unlike those fake baby tears.) then do it. But only if you have to.