Should the legal age for marriage be raised?

[Yusshin]

Hmm... I still dunno. Though then again, you can't really define who looks what age. D: Though if you two look around the same age, then yeah that's better.

Hrmmmm... I had a pic' of a guy who looked like him xD but I lost it.

In any case, we look similar in age. My parents thought he was 20 until I told them his real age :s shouldn't have done that; they started to harass us.

In any case, maturity is what we're looking for here when it comes to marriage. Age really doesn't mean anything; the time for marriage is completely different and unique pending the individuals and the couple together.

 

[Ho-Oh]

Age can mean something though in how society works now. Probably those at 18 with many life experiences are better prepared for marriage than those with very little.

 

[Yusshin]

Age can mean something though in how society works now. Probably those at 18 with many life experiences are better prepared for marriage than those with very little.

Indeed. It really depends on the individuals and their personalities, experiences, etc.

I've had more bad experiences than good :s How I remain optimistic, I really don't know lol I'm glad I have someone to support me, though :] since my family doesn't know how to do anything but bring you down .-.

 

[Ho-Oh]

This'd probably spark having a sort of "test" for those who are younger, to make sure marriage really is what they want... I think those older can better judge who's prepared though, as they've been though those ages and can look back or something.

But yeah, maybe a marriage test. XD;

 

[Yusshin]

The only place where a "test" would be kinda off would be when religious individuals want their 17-year-old child to marry their infant's 18-year-old father, as to "amend" for the sin of having done something with that person.

I'm not sure how a test would work around the Freedom of Religion and angry parent combination.

For the non-extreme version of that, though, the two year thing still appeals to me. I'm not sure how it would be done, but it would really help pass a lot of issues that one would usually confront in marriage and see how it works out / reactions / discover things the couple may not have known about each other before, whether positive or negative.

 

[SalemGreen]

There's nothing wrong with getting defensive when someone tries to claim that another person's a child molestor without any basis. I'd be a bit concerned if a woman didn't defend her man if he was being attacked with hateful names.

As said, in Canadian Law, there's nothing wrong with it once you hit 16. At 18, you're free to do as you pleased. If someone is interested in 8-year-olds when they're 15, I'd be concerned, but in this case, my fiance wasn't interested in girls at all until his early 20s and that was with an older woman of whom he didn't stay with longer than a week because she was a bit crazy.

By the way, what does that make me? At fifteen, I refused to even consider secondary school-aged boys, and I still do. The majority are immature and only interested in a specific thing. At fourteen, twenty was a minimum for me. Where do I stand in this? Surely that's just as twisted as a man at 25 wanting to be with someone who's 18. That's a seven years difference in age; at fourteen, I was aiming for six years older. Where am I?

My current fiance is my first relationship, and it's a great one. I'm glad I didn't get some idiot as a first-guy. With compatible personalities and interests, I don't see what's the big issue overall. A lot of people are scornful of 24 and 17, but once it's 25 and 18, it becomes "normal" - wtf? Twisted.

Oh, and, as Reginal said, some people have 15 years difference. What do you have to say about a 22-year-old being attracted to a 7-year-old? Surely the fact that they're 45 and 30 now simply doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the intent that you're claiming they had at 22 and 7! 0-0 We should march over to their house and arrest them for being happily married for 10 years, regardless her having been 18 and her husband 33 at the age of marriage!

Right?

Exactly. Your logic is faulty. When I was eight, I didn't even know my fiance, and him at fifteen didn't even know me. Because he's going on twenty-five and interested in a girl going on eighteen doesn't mean at 15, he would have had sex with an 8-year-old. That is the most corrupt "logic" I've ever seen.

No one is calling him any name other than what the law states. This includes Canadian law. In the United States (I'm not familiar if Canada also has this system) he is most likely on a Child Molestation watch. It doesn't mean he goes around molesting children, NO one said that. It's simply a watch, similar to crime watches in neighborhoods only on a federal scale. My friends in real life play a game called ****rhir which is a live action battle game simulator. They're on a watchlist as a "Trained militia". See what I'm saying?

What does that make you? Well, to be technical. A gerontophile. That's a somewhat common (more-so among girls who grew up with a single parent) mental disorder that creates an unusual or abnormal attraction to older people of the opposite gender.

The big issue here lies in the fact that you've not finished puberty yet. That's why many scoff and look at this as a very discerning situation. He has, and you have not. Your mind, and even body, are not finished growing and molding while his has (for the most part).

The drastic difference in 44 and 30 is that both are fully developed. Sure, I still view it as odd (As will many) but they're both matured by the time of the relationship starting. You're still in puberty and will be for a little while longer, you've not finished developing.

Understand? No one is trying to attack you. No one is even trying to insult you. I'm simply pointing out factual things in this argument that I feel were not considered. This is an issue and topic that I run across every day at work and I thought I could simply help you guys out with the technical stuff.

 

[Yusshin]

This includes Canadian law. In the United States (I'm not familiar if Canada also has this system) he is most likely on a Child Molestation watch

We have that in Canada, but he's not on it :\ He has no reason to be. We've already talked to the authorities about that, and they said it's perfectly fine since I'm over 16 and my parents are fine with it. It's uncommon for 16-year-olds to be with 22-year-olds in Ontario, but it happens. I have another friend in that kind of relationship and they're perfectly fine. Neither the guy or my fiance has a criminal record or the police up his butt about anything :<

And it's still not good to place an accusation such as him being on this "watch" thing. Perhaps that's what happens in America, and I would understand if the younger one is fifteen and the older one is twenty-eight, but eighteen and twenty-five isn't a big deal. It happens often enough. Again, there's nothing abnormal with 25-33 either. It's just because 18-25 looks like a huge difference, when it's really not.

<< Sorry for getting touchy. I thought you were accusing him of being a child molestor :| In which, you can understand why I'd get worked up, I hope.

For the record, I started developing when I was ten, and being 18 now, I'm pretty much done with this puberty thing :s I've done my fair share of growing, and I'm fully developped physically. I might change a bit mentally, but my values, morals, personality, etc. will stay the same. I might just become a bit maturer than I already am, but it's only going to have a positive effect on me overall, and not a negative one.

 

[Captain Fabio]

Couldn't care less really.
Regardless of laws, people will still break them and go about it another way.

There is always a loop hole.

 

[Guillermo]

You still might not know you want to be with someone when you're only 18, I mean, you'd think that then, but maturity in terms of thinking long term, I guess.

And you're going to stop someone from making their own decisions in life by not allowing them to marry until they're 25? People need to make mistakes in life to grow. If their marriage doesn't work out, then too bad. They'll move on and find someone else. Raising the age is a silly idea.

 

[Ho-Oh]

And you're going to stop someone from making their own decisions in life by not allowing them to marry until they're 25? People need to make mistakes in life to grow. If their marriage doesn't work out, then too bad. They'll move on and find someone else. Raising the age is a silly idea.

Well, either then or 21, by then they should have a better grasp of marriage than at age 18, not saying those who intend to marry then don't, but still, having a longer time period can help. Besides, divorce fees at 18 aren't exactly a good thing.

 

[Guillermo]

Well, either then or 21, by then they should have a better grasp of marriage than at age 18, not saying those who intend to marry then don't, but still, having a longer time period can help. Besides, divorce fees at 18 aren't exactly a good thing.

Neither are marriage fees, but people do it anyway. Know why? They love each other. If you truly love someone, expense wouldn't mean anything to you. If you truly hated someone, you'd do everything in your power to get them out of your sight. If that means paying divorce fees, then so be it. If you can't afford divorce fees then that's their problem and they have to deal with it.

 

[Ho-Oh]

But then again, the person could move to rebound quickly and just kinda make the same mistakes over, and end up being in debt when they're barely an adult :(

 

[Guillermo]

But then again, the person could move to rebound quickly and just kinda make the same mistakes over, and end up being in debt when they're barely an adult :(

Again, that's their problem. That can happen to a lot of people, and not just because of marriage. Car expenses, house expenses, etc.

 

[Ho-Oh]

It's worse if it's due to divorce - because a couple got married as soon as they could, rather than having the extra years in place to prevent mistakes being made. With other expenses there aren't really any rules enforced to stop someone from going in debt. With marriage, waiting allows a couple the time to really think about it.

 

[Guillermo]

It's worse if it's due to divorce - because a couple got married as soon as they could, rather than having the extra years in place to prevent mistakes being made. With other expenses there aren't really any rules enforced to stop someone from going in debt. With marriage, waiting allows a couple the time to really think about it.

Yes, waiting is good, but forcing someone by law to wait until they're 25 is what I'm getting at. It seems silly.

 

[Ho-Oh]

Thennn how about just waiting until 21, which legally is okay for most other things?

 

[Guillermo]

Thennn how about just waiting until 21, which legally is okay for most other things?

Yeah, 21 is a good age, I suppose. However, this all depends on how long said couple has been together, to be honest.

 

[Ho-Oh]

So really... a limit should be put in about how long the couple has been together. Basically, if they intend to marry at 18, then wait until 21 and that's a long enough period I guess. Aka a three year limit.

 

[Guillermo]

So really... a limit should be put in about how long the couple has been together. Basically, if they intend to marry at 18, then wait until 21 and that's a long enough period I guess. Aka a three year limit.

A couple should marry when they feel that they're ready, not when the law tells them to. I think I rest my case with that line.

 

[Ho-Oh]

What if a couple feels they want to marry at let's say... 15?