The Post Your Problems Thread

[Nick]

Over time from me staying in so long and not doing noting but sitting on a pc all day, i guess you can say i lost touch with all my friends, Recently got back in touch with a few on facebook and wanted to hang and they wanted to hang but most of them moved on with theres lifes and made new friends. It feels as like im meeting them for the first time all over again... so as far as going out and hanging with friends like i used to thats out of the question because im not gonna break my neck to try to find someone to hang out with when i can jsut as easy talk to people over the internet.

I guess what im trying to say is i really have noting i can do other than stay home now, so i kinda got my wish. I didn't complete my education because i dropped out last year in 11th grade, was susposed to graduated in 2012. So im not gonig to find a decent enought job. I plan on going back to school in august but even at that, thats just doing something to get what i need not to get a life. Ill basically go to school, do my work and come home. Not there to try to make friends, even more so with high school kids ( For some reason i don't like people younger or my age, I like hanging with people more mature i guess you could say and older)

Well, if your friends moved on, you can't dwell on the past. There are millions of people out there. I get the impression that you're reacting that way because you feel the opposite. I can understand - and I can relate - to that. You long for the time you once had where you could hang out with them and do whatever you please. Now that you don't have that comfort, you're responding in the way you are because you miss it. You don't think you should break your neck trying to find someone new, because you're content with the ones you had, despite not being able to communicate with them the way you once had. It goes without say that, after a while of not speaking to them, that you're going to feel like you're meeting for the first time. Although it's nice to have people on the internet to turn to, there's a comfort in having friends there for you in a physical form. If you had them, something tells me you wouldn't be spending your time smoking and getting high off of weed like you admit to doing.

You have something you're meant to be doing in your life. It's something that's different from the people you know, but sitting at home and browsing the internet and playing video games isn't any way of getting to finding that. You know what I mean? There's something there waiting for you, but in order to find it, you need to explore. You need to get up, get out of the house, and into the world. There's a much greater chance you'll be happy if you open up the door and take the first step. Right now you're only drowning yourself in nostalgia, and holding on to everything so tightly that you're not content with the things you have now. And while I understand that, there are things you can do to change that. You'll meet a lot of people if you actually bother to take the time to meet them. Some you'll find are people you'd love to get to know. You don't' necessarily have to take the time to go out and searching for friends to replace the ones you have had in the past. Most of the time, the best things in life come at the most unexpected times.

But the first thing you should be concerned with doing is getting back to school. Education, unlike the loss of your friends, is one thing that nobody can truly take away from you. And you need to recognize that before it's too late. Because heaven forbid if you're an adult and you look back on what you're doing now -- which you ARE going to do --, you're going to be disappointed in yourself and ask the question over and over again. "Why didn't I do this?" "Why didn't I do that?" because I doubt you'd find much satisfaction if you continue on the road you're headed in the long run.

 

[NamelessGuy]

I might as well post here. I basically have this whole slew of problems, each of them overlapping one another.

I decided that I needed a way to convey my feelings, so here goes:

Over the past few months, I've felt a bit alienated. I used to have a lot of friends back in middle school and in my first year of high school. But now, I feel like I've lost that socializing spark I had before. My friends don't talk to me very much anymore, but I can probably amend that.

My grades have been slipping as well, but thankfully not by much.

The two problems that I just listed are the two that I can probably handle on my own. However, the next two are my "major" problems in my book. (Okay, it's nothing tragic or life-threatening, but still.)

Ever since the beginning of the school year, I've been infatuated with this girl in my English class. Now, I've never had any problems asking out my past girlfriends. Usually, I'd just go up and introduce myself, ask about likes and dislikes, crack a few jokes, etc.

However, this girl hasn't really seemed that interested in what I say or do, and that's slamming my confidence down. I've talked to her quite a bit (not enough to be a creep, mind you. Once a day or every two days, maybe), but she rarely smiles when she answers me, yet she seems to enjoy talking to my other friends (guys).

Seriously, I'd do anything to have this girl. She's beautiful. She's got a great personality. But she just... inaccessable. And at the moment, I can't imagine myself with anyone else. That's my main problem. I'd ask her out, but I barely know her because of this little gap we have... I don't mean to sound desperate, and I've tried countless times to get over her, but nothing I do works.

Finally, I feel like my life is devoid of any purpose or meaning. I go to school each day to learn about subjects that I probably won't be using as an adult. My soul belongs to music, not to an office cubicle.

It's hard to describe my state of mind right now. It's not depression (although I've been upset over this girl quite a lot), and it's not necessarily anger. It's just... blankness, I suppose.

Also, I don't speak and act the way I type. xD Using a larger vocabulary calms me down, for some reason.

Anyway, it's typical teenage wasteland, but I'd still like to fix these problems.

It's nothing for any of you to worry about, though.

 

[Polizard]

Problem Sleeping

I am 20 now and recently i moved out of my house and live with my sister and her boyfriend and during the moving process I was sleeping in an empty room with just my bed and I find it really hard to fall asleep i just thought it was the lack of things in my room and the unpainted walls and random stuff like that. As the weeks went on I started re organizing my room and then finally my room was done and i really liked it. It was comfortable and felt like home and i loved it. But i Still could not sleep, i looked in my room and the only thing that was missing was a Tv so i went to my parents and took my old Tv back and brought a DVD player. Then that same night i set up my tv put on a movie and within a few minutes i was asleep. Now a few weeks after we got out second Electric Bill since living together and it was like $145 more expensive than the week before. Now i know $145 does not sound like a lot but for a 22 year old a 21 year old and a 20 year old paying a mortgage and bills it is a lot. Now I have already tired Putting the Tv on sleep but as soon as it turns off i wake up and am unable to sleep again. I tried listing to music but it does not put me to sleep and i tried turning it off just before i fall asleep and it just seems to give me more energy. So at the moment Im kinda stuck and i need to fix the problem pretty soon or im going to get killed when the next bills come. Oh and one more thing i have no dietary problems like i have no caffeine or anything like that and i try to look after my body. So no excess Sugar so i don't think it is a diet problem.
So i will accept any advice and i will kept you updated with my insomnia.

Sorry i know it is written bad but it is 2 in the morning in Australia
Sorry did not see this section like i said 2 in the morning and sleep deprived

I might as well post here. I basically have this whole slew of problems, each of them overlapping one another.

I decided that I needed a way to convey my feelings, so here goes:

Over the past few months, I've felt a bit alienated. I used to have a lot of friends back in middle school and in my first year of high school. But now, I feel like I've lost that socializing spark I had before. My friends don't talk to me very much anymore, but I can probably amend that.

My grades have been slipping as well, but thankfully not by much.

The two problems that I just listed are the two that I can probably handle on my own. However, the next two are my "major" problems in my book. (Okay, it's nothing tragic or life-threatening, but still.)

Ever since the beginning of the school year, I've been infatuated with this girl in my English class. Now, I've never had any problems asking out my past girlfriends. Usually, I'd just go up and introduce myself, ask about likes and dislikes, crack a few jokes, etc.

However, this girl hasn't really seemed that interested in what I say or do, and that's slamming my confidence down. I've talked to her quite a bit (not enough to be a creep, mind you. Once a day or every two days, maybe), but she rarely smiles when she answers me, yet she seems to enjoy talking to my other friends (guys).

Seriously, I'd do anything to have this girl. She's beautiful. She's got a great personality. But she just... inaccessable. And at the moment, I can't imagine myself with anyone else. That's my main problem. I'd ask her out, but I barely know her because of this little gap we have... I don't mean to sound desperate, and I've tried countless times to get over her, but nothing I do works.

Finally, I feel like my life is devoid of any purpose or meaning. I go to school each day to learn about subjects that I probably won't be using as an adult. My soul belongs to music, not to an office cubicle.

It's hard to describe my state of mind right now. It's not depression (although I've been upset over this girl quite a lot), and it's not necessarily anger. It's just... blankness, I suppose.

Also, I don't speak and act the way I type. xD Using a larger vocabulary calms me down, for some reason.

Anyway, it's typical teenage wasteland, but I'd still like to fix these problems.

It's nothing for any of you to worry about, though.

The First two problems like you said my just need a little work on your half its bad but sometimes friends do not know that your feeling alienated and sometimes you just need to tell them and with the grades one i went through the same thing in school. The only thing to do is study even if you dont want to just try you get in a rhythm sooner or later.

Ok now The major Problems, OK i know this is going to sound hard but take the plunge. During year 10 Felt the exact same was about a girl named Stacy (not her real name) She was exactly the same as the girl you mentioned for a while i thought she hated me and only tolerated me cause she liked my best mate they were always talking. (Which led me to feel alienated). Then one day toward the end of year 10 i went up to her and was about to say hello and i just blurted out ( would you Please go out with me i have wanted to ask you for like months but i did not think you would say yes) Now as you could imagine i went red in the face and was about to run everyone in class was looking at me and ready to laugh if she said no. Thankfully for me she said yes and we have been going out for about 4 years. Now here is how i see it best case scenario is she says yes awesome. But worse case scenario is that she says no and rips out your heart. Now if the second one happen you will feel Crushed And its bad but you can take solace in the fact that she is evil enough to publicly humiliate you and probably not worth your time.

Ok now big problem number 2.

Im going to tell you straight out NO kid your age or even usually my age Has any idea what there life is leading to i only recently Find my passion which is teaching. Until recently i had no goals no aspirations nothing. It comes in time your best bet is to take a more positive outlook on life and school. And try to set up meetings with you school year/ career adviser to see if you can find a career path that suits you. And the fact that you have a passion (Music) is half the battle, You love music maybe you should look into part time work in a guitar shops Music Shops Entertainment Areas JB HI FI things like that which could led to management or even ownership of a music store.

Hope i helped if you find in hard to read pm me and i will re right it better for you If you want but i hope iy helped you sound a lot like me 3 years ago.

And sorry if it is written bad as said about it is about 2 o clock in the morning here

 

[Esper]

I am 19 now and recently i moved out of my house and live with my sister and her boyfriend and during the moving process I was sleeping in an empty room with just my bed and I find it really hard to fall asleep i just thought it was the lack of things in my room and the unpainted walls and random stuff like that. As the weeks went on I started re organizing my room and then finally my room was done and i really liked it. It was comfortable and felt like home and i loved it. But i Still could not sleep, i looked in my room and the only thing that was missing was a Tv so i went to my parents and took my old Tv back and brought a DVD player. Then that same night i set up my tv put on a movie and within a few minutes i was asleep. Now a few weeks after we got out second Electric Bill since living together and it was like $145 more expensive than the week before. Now i know $145 does not sound like a lot but for a 22 year old a 21 year old and a 19 year old paying a mortgage and bills it is a lot. Now I have already tired Putting the Tv on sleep but as soon as it turns off i wake up and am unable to sleep again. I tried listing to music but it does not put me to sleep and i tried turning it off just before i fall asleep and it just seems to give me more energy. So at the moment Im kinda stuck and i need to fix the problem pretty soon or im going to get killed when the next bills come. Oh and one more thing i have no dietary problems like i have no caffeine or anything like that and i try to look after my body. So no excess Sugar so i don't think it is a diet problem.
So i will accept any advice and i will kept you updated with my insomnia.

I've noticed that a couple of things seem to make sleeping easier for me. Maybe you could try them and see if they help.

If I'm really exhausted from being up early and doing a lot in the day then I usually don't have as much trouble sleeping and sometimes I'm asleep the moment I hit the bed. Not sure what your day-to-day schedule is, but if you have space in it to get some exercise it might help. Even if I don't exercise but still do a lot of different things and haven't been sitting around all day it seems to work in the same way.

If I have something I'm worrying about I usually don't sleep as well because it'll always be there in the back of my mind. If I do something during the day to make whatever I'm worried about better then I can often go to sleep satisfied that I was all responsible and competent and in control of things.

And for me reading is a great help in sleeping. I always read in bed before going to sleep. I think this helps me in several ways. I have the lights down, I'm getting comfortable and warm, and I'm keeping my mind from thinking about other things that might worry me. I think reading also might make my eyes tired and that might make it easier for me. Of course I have to read something I want to read so that the whole experience is pleasant and relaxing.

I hope you find something that helps.

 

[Polizard]

I might give doing a bit more exercise a try i usually try to go for 30min to 45 min i will try to do 45 to 1 hr maybe it will help me get rid of excess energy.

At the moment living with out parents is stressful as it is but i will try to reduce stress levels and even out the work between the three of us I'm kind of a control freak. I do everything from bills to cooking to cleaning and working.

But the third option is terrible for me if i pick up a book my mind fights to stay awake to find out what happens, i like to finish books asap so i can get on to the next book.

But over the next couple of Days i will Extend my exercise time and spreading the work load a bit. Hopefully it will help

 

[YouMadBro?]

You'll probably think I'm crazy, but whaterever.

I'm a fourteen year old and in grade 9, and have a bunch of problems.

Problem #1
I was bullied really bad in elementary school, so bad that in grade 8 I changed schools. I loved my new school so much! Everyone was so kind, and accepted me. Compared to my old school were people called me fat, an ugly beast and no one would want to be caught dead hanging out with me at break time. Like I said, my new school was way better. Then highschool came, and I lost most of my new friends and made almost no new ones. I remember in grade 8 on the last day of school I told a few of my friends how nervous I was because of all the new people in highschool, and everyone told me not to worry, because we'll all stay friends. They were half right. It seems everyone else stayed friends with eachother (and made new ones), and whenever I see someone I know in the hall they don't notice me. Even though I share a few classes with some of them, they don't say hi or wave back when I greet them. I have no idea why no one cares to notice me, and quite frankly I feel like I no longer have a place in anyones heart.

Problem #2
I am completly fake in personality. I always act happy, smile and don't show anger or much sadness (at school). Everyone always tells me I'm so nice and that the wish more people could be like me, and then they go straight back to their friends and forget about me. I only act nice and happy all the time, because I'm afraid that someone won't like me. I know that it's impossible for everyone to like me, but thanks to my bullying, I HAVE to get on everyones good side, or else I feel like they might turn on me. I used to try to show different emotions in grade 8, because people told me to get a backbone and stop saying sorry so much. I tried to act angry over something once, and someone called me an inapropriate name, so now I'm stuck being happy for six hours at school all the time, when I feel quite the opposite.

The worst part of this problem,, I take all the anger I gain over the school day and release it at home. I get into screaming wars with my mother, and they end when my mother calls me a really bad name that I can't put here, and then tells me if she new having a child would result to this, she wouldn't have had me. I know my mother loves me very much, but she isn't always the best to talk to for help, because she gets angry too easily.

Problem #3.
I know I have depression. I feel so alone and sad all the time. I feel as though nobody cares about me and nobody would care if I died. I'm going to be honest and say in grade seven, I started to think about killing myself, and tried once, by tying my belt around my neck, but I chickened out at the last second. I told my mom about this, and she started to cry and after that we never talked about it again.

For a really long time I didn't have these types of thoughts, but since highschool they came back. I can't tell you how many nights I lay awake thinking about hanging myself. I also always think about how easy it would be to walk to my medicine cabnet and swallow some pills. I try to give hints to my mom when we fight how I feel, because I yell to her that I'll swallow pills when she's not watching. I used to think that she didn't care, but one morning when we were fighting I ut a can of gum in my bag to bring to school and she heard it rattle and asked me what it was and yelled at me to give it to her, but when she saw it was gum she turned away.

I have to take special pills for private reasons, and one of the side effects is possible depression. I've taken them for a little less then a year, so I'm starting to think they might have something to do with my feelings.

Some people that I try to talk to say I should get professional help, but no way!

I'm so sorry that this is such a long post, these are just a few of my feelings I've kept locked away since september, and I have no friends to tell anyone of how I'm feeling. Please help :(

 

[NamelessGuy]

You'll probably think I'm crazy, but whaterever.

I'm a fourteen year old and in grade 9, and have a bunch of problems.

Problem #1
I was bullied really bad in elementary school, so bad that in grade 8 I changed schools. I loved my new school so much! Everyone was so kind, and accepted me. Compared to my old school were people called me fat, an ugly beast and no one would want to be caught dead hanging out with me at break time. Like I said, my new school was way better. Then highschool came, and I lost most of my new friends and made almost no new ones. I remember in grade 8 on the last day of school I told a few of my friends how nervous I was because of all the new people in highschool, and everyone told me not to worry, because we'll all stay friends. They were half right. It seems everyone else stayed friends with eachother (and made new ones), and whenever I see someone I know in the hall they don't notice me. Even though I share a few classes with some of them, they don't say hi or wave back when I greet them. I have no idea why no one cares to notice me, and quite frankly I feel like I no longer have a place in anyones heart.

Problem #2
I am completly fake in personality. I always act happy, smile and don't show anger or much sadness (at school). Everyone always tells me I'm so nice and that the wish more people could be like me, and then they go straight back to their friends and forget about me. I only act nice and happy all the time, because I'm afraid that someone won't like me. I know that it's impossible for everyone to like me, but thanks to my bullying, I HAVE to get on everyones good side, or else I feel like they might turn on me. I used to try to show different emotions in grade 8, because people told me to get a backbone and stop saying sorry so much. I tried to act angry over something once, and someone called me an inapropriate name, so now I'm stuck being happy for six hours at school all the time, when I feel quite the opposite.

The worst part of this problem,, I take all the anger I gain over the school day and release it at home. I get into screaming wars with my mother, and they end when my mother calls me a really bad name that I can't put here, and then tells me if she new having a child would result to this, she wouldn't have had me. I know my mother loves me very much, but she isn't always the best to talk to for help, because she gets angry too easily.

Problem #3.
I know I have depression. I feel so alone and sad all the time. I feel as though nobody cares about me and nobody would care if I died. I'm going to be honest and say in grade seven, I started to think about killing myself, and tried once, by tying my belt around my neck, but I chickened out at the last second. I told my mom about this, and she started to cry and after that we never talked about it again.

For a really long time I didn't have these types of thoughts, but since highschool they came back. I can't tell you how many nights I lay awake thinking about hanging myself. I also always think about how easy it would be to walk to my medicine cabnet and swallow some pills. I try to give hints to my mom when we fight how I feel, because I yell to her that I'll swallow pills when she's not watching. I used to think that she didn't care, but one morning when we were fighting I ut a can of gum in my bag to bring to school and she heard it rattle and asked me what it was and yelled at me to give it to her, but when she saw it was gum she turned away.

I have to take special pills for private reasons, and one of the side effects is possible depression. I've taken them for a little less then a year, so I'm starting to think they might have something to do with my feelings.

Some people that I try to talk to say I should get professional help, but no way!

I'm so sorry that this is such a long post, these are just a few of my feelings I've kept locked away since september, and I have no friends to tell anyone of how I'm feeling. Please help :(

Hey. I don't know if my response will do you any justice, but I'll try my best, since I'm speaking from experience.

I too was bullied in middle school and had trouble making friends. 8th grade was a low point for me as well, since I was also on the verge of ending my life. However, I was never diagnosed with clinical depression, although I still believe I have some symptoms of it.

My few friends supported me until that year. They claimed that I was trying too hard to look cool, which I admit I was.

I gradually got better, though. I'm still not fully recovered, but I've come a long way these past two years. All I had to do was put myself out there, and that's exactly what you need to do as well. Be assertive if someone pushes you down, but in a nicer way. Instead of shouting expletives, try ignoring them. If they can't get a reaction out of you, then it's merely a waste of time on their part.

I'd recommend talking to someone you trust, like a school counselor, your doctor, or any other family member. They can give you a few options on how to improve your personality and your depression.

My mother told me this when I told her about my social problems, and I think that this could apply to you as well: It's impossible for every single student at your school to hate you or look down on you. There are plenty of people who are searching for friends as much as you are. There are other students who are in your position as well, no doubt.

The main reason why some people don't make friends very easily is because they're not involved in any sort of extracurricular activity. Since you're in high school, there's plenty of things open to you. If sports isn't your thing, try joining a club your interested in. It'll let you meet new people who share the same interests as you.

Try not to let what others say bring you down, no matter how upsetting or vulgar they are. If they take their time to put you down, then they shouldn't mean anything to you. Chances are, they do it to others as well.

You seem like a nice person on the inside. Appearance shouldn't mean a thing. A good personality is what people should look for.

I apologize if this isn't much of a help, but it's late here. PM me if you want to talk more. Remember, you're not alone.

 

[Aura Rift]

@ YouMadBro?

I don't usually post here but this is something I can relate to you. Im the same age as you Im in the same grade as you and I have the same problems as you, I also get bullied alot and I know its not easy but you've got to perservere.
Like NamelessGuy said you have to talk to somebody, anybody. When Im feeling really bad about myself and I feel like my parents just dont understand I always call my uncle, because I feel he understands me.
You also need to think Positive get those horrible toughts out of your head I mean think about are you gonna let those bullies in your school drive you to suicide...
Look just think about OK and if need be like Nameless guy I'll be here to talk if you need it.

 

[Lily]

@YouMadBro?

I've had such a similar problem when I was your age. I was also very depressed in high school. I felt as if no one liked me, and if I died, nobody would care.

At your age, you're susceptible to pretty much everything, especially at school. You can't let those negative attitudes persist or else you'll just keep getting sadder. There's nothing bad about seeking professional help. Any help is help, and if it works, go for it.

High school is a phase. One day you'll look back and wonder why all of it was worth so much trouble, but you must persevere and not give up.

You also should never consider suicide. I know from experience from having to watch my friends - pills don't work as easily as you want, please don't ever try. I would go into detail but I don't think it's necessary. I know it seems like the best way out sometimes, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not worth it.

I also had to take pills, initially for my depression, but they just made it worse. Sometimes, all you need is a friend to talk to, something to look forward to in school. I remember whenever I had a hard time in school, I excused myself to go to the counselor and rant.

Anyway, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me as well. I sincerely hope you get better, I really do. It breaks my heart even more because you remind me so much of what I went through. Trust me when I say: life can and will get better, just don't give up, okay?

 

[Nutella]

I went through many of the problems you are currently going through. I'm not going to pretend that it will be easy to sort them out, because it isn't, and you will come out scarred. I remember people telling me to chin up and all that crap, and it was more frustrating than helpful; however wonderful their intentions.

Problem #1
I'm sorry to hear about you being bullied. I was bullied on-and-off for many years. The thing is, you solved the problem by changing schools, but psychologically, you haven't quite "defeated" that demon. You can change places as many times as you like, but if you don't get something that serious addressed, it will eat you slowly and painfully. When I was your age, it was one of my worst years. If I could give any good advice to you now, I strongly advise seeing a professional or calling a crisis line of sorts just to vent the frustration. I'm sure those memories come every time you get rejected, or things don't go your way. That only lowers your spirit, and you end up in a vacuum of emotional self-destruction.

Problem #2
Again, this is a defence mechanism rather than a genuine personality trait, as you have observed. The thing is, when an always-peachy person suddenly gets mad, it's far more noticeable than the school ***** throwing the 238th fit of the day. People weren't used to you showing anger like that, and perhaps retaliated out of shock. About your mother, my mum is like that too. Some people just don't understand where people like us come from, and only get frustrated with our inadequacies rather than being wholly empathetic. It's good that you understand that your mother still loves you, because I'm sure she said those things in anger rather than substnce. Do you have a different relative more appropriate for these kinds of talks? Perhaps you could speak to the people I suggested in #1.

Of course your mother cares. She just doesn't know what to do. She's frightened and anxious. From my understanding, it doesn't sound like she's familar with what you're going through. She loves you, but honestly, has no idea what to do. The onus is completely on you to get better; nobody else.

I have to take special pills for private reasons, and one of the side effects is possible depression. I've taken them for a little less then a year, so I'm starting to think they might have something to do with my feelings.

This is something you definitely need professional assitance with. Your GP will take you seriously, and if s/he doesn't, find another one that will, or call a health hotline (we have one in Australia, and I'm certain Canada would, too). If you think the medication is doing more harm than good, you should stop taking it and see a doctor ASAP.

Some people that I try to talk to say I should get professional help, but no way!

Why? What is wrong with professional help? If I didn't get professional help, I've probably never got a job, never started to study and never trusted people again.

If you posted here, my understanding is that you wanted help. Sorry, but none of us here are qualified with problems like yours. An internet forum can't possibly equal the inmeasurable amount of help a counsellor would be. Please take a chance, and at least try seeing a professional.

I'm speaking as a clinical psychology student AND somebody that has received professional help of this kind. If it helped me enough to get my life back on track, of course it can with yours. Please PM me if you need to, I check into PC everyday.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

"I have a voice!"

That quote from The King's Speech sums up this post. So, in a way, that's the tl;dr on the first line.

But seriously.

IRL and OL, I'm... Well, I'm annoying as all hell. Yeah, I get that. I'm awkward, I screw up, I make stupid jokes, and I talk a lot.

I still have a godsdarned right to speak.

People can be so vitriolic when they gain nothing by sheer cruelty towards others. Would it kill a man to listen to what someone else is saying? Or, at the very least, to not feel the constant need to beat the speaker into the ground? Because, honestly, it's just ridiculous. Is human nature so dark and so twistedly hateful that sadism has spread so far?

Okay, so people have problems. I have problems too, and I vent them out like a human being should. It's healthy to talk when you're upset, and to try to work out your upsetness. It's not healthy to lambast anyone who tries to vent grievanges, while being a general jerk-off in general.

I have bad handwriting, I stutter over my words, and I'm hard to understand. I have a friggin' voice, you know? I have thoughts. I have a brain. I'm not demanding that everyone stop and listen to me. I'm demanding that this twisted concept of fate give me the courtesy of a listening ear, when I spend time to listen to the problems of others.

I hate my speech problems. I hate them. I hate my awkward appearance and personality. I hate my neck pains that make me look like I have a tic. I hate my eye problems. I hate the fact that I suck at everything athletic.

I hate my emotional instability. I hate how thin-skinned I am. I hate how I freeze up whenever someone insults me. I hate how I'm the one that people can pick on without ramifications. I hate how I don't fit in. I hate how I can't cheer myself up, or distract myself.

I hate the fact that I swing between moods so much. I hate the fact that I'm so hateful. I hatehatehatehatehatehatehate.

I'm not angry in the least. I'm just... despairing.

But whatever.

Life's life. It sucks, and it sucks harder when you aren't enough of a total something bad to cut down everyone that gets in your way.

There are winners, and there are losers.

Such is the nature of life.

 

[Nutella]

IRL and OL, I'm... Well, I'm annoying as all hell. Yeah, I get that. I'm awkward, I screw up, I make stupid jokes, and I talk a lot.

Sounds like me, and about 40% of users you will encounter on FF.net.

People can be so vitriolic when they gain nothing by sheer cruelty towards others. Would it kill a man to listen to what someone else is saying? Or, at the very least, to not feel the constant need to beat the speaker into the ground? Because, honestly, it's just ridiculous. Is human nature so dark and so twistedly hateful that sadism has spread so far?

The pleasure those kinds of people derive isn't chiefly from causing you pain. They just like to feel as though they're important and right. For the most part, not being interrupted makes them falsely believe people agree with them. People tend to be conversationally selfish. They can't wait to state their opinions. You can sometimes see the look of impatience when you're speaking.

Okay, so people have problems. I have problems too, and I vent them out like a human being should. It's healthy to talk when you're upset, and to try to work out your upsetness. It's not healthy to lambast anyone who tries to vent grievanges, while being a general jerk-off in general.

I definitely agree. Ventilation is important. I only start getting snarky with those that seek advice often, but never take it- thus being stuck in the same ****ing circle of despair. The thing is, most (not ALL) don't take advice when it's free. They like the attention, and who can blame them? They're insecure and feel as though nobody is listening.

I'm not angry in the least. I'm just... despairing.

It does not sound that way. You have every right to be angry. Some of the flaws you have mentioned can be improved. I had speech problems as a young child, now I can't shut up. Have you seen a speech pathologist? If the emotional problems are despairing, you should talk to somebody- anybody- about them. Not many people try to interrupt this kind of thing.

There are winners, and there are losers.

Such is the nature of life.

How you say that sounds very fatalistic. With an attitude like that, no wonder you feel so down- sorry. I'm sure you have dismissed yourself as "the loser." When it comes to "winning in life," that's subjective, I reckon. Sure, there are preconceived notions of what it means to be "a winner" and "a loser", but doesn't it matter how you feel about yourself? What does it mean for you to "win?"

Losers only stay as losers if they resign themselves to the title. Often it's self-appointed, too, which does nothing for one's selfesteem, or "escaping that fate". Winners are winners because more often than not, they put effort into the field they would like to win in.

 

[BlueShadow V 2.0]

Hi. I am college student and at this moment, I live in the dorms inside the University I attend. My best friend goes to the same University as me. Last semester (Fall 2010) I asked him to become my roommate for this semester (Spring 2011). He said no becuase his old roommate asked him before to be his roommate again. I was ok with it. Then during this semester, I found out that his old roommate is leaving this semester so that means that my friend will not have a roommate next semester. I asked him like 4 or 5 times during this semester if he wants to become my roommate. He always tell me that he is not sure because he was applying to become an R.A (Resident Assitant) and that if he doesn't become an R.A then he will try to be a R.A's roommate to not have room checks (since he is a kinda messy guy). Ok, then time passed by, and he got rejected of becomeing R.A. Then, he try to be an R.A's roommate, but all the R.A's already had roommates, so he could not become a R.A's roommate. He now (almost at the end of the semester) is asking me to become his roommate, but I already have 2 roommates for next semester because he rejected me like 4 or 5 times. I really wanted to become my best friend's roommate but I constantly felt bad because he rejected me a lot, and now I don't know if to become his roommate or to stay with the 2 people that already accepted to become my roommates some days ago. What should I do?

 

[Darthatron]

What's the standard social protocol..?

How long do I have to wait from my girlfriends birthday before I can break up with her without out it ruining any future birthday's? We've been dating for 7 months, if that makes a difference?

THANKS!!

 

[Percy Thrillington]

Just break up with her now. Think of how much more devastating it will feel if she knew you were only tagging along for the last few weeks because you didn't want to ruin her birthday.

 

[Darthatron]

Just break up with her now. Think of how much more devastating it will feel if she knew you were only tagging along for the last few weeks because you didn't want to ruin her birthday.

It was her birthday yesterday (28th), though. And our 7 months is in 2 days (1st.) I figured I'd probably stay with her for 2-3 more weeks.

Any other opinions on the matter?

 

[Impo]

I'm not sure what to say,
there are valid points on both sides of the argument.

I suggest doing what you feel is right.

(a fun fact, my first girlfriend broke up with me just before valentine's day and her birthday. thank god, i still have my money now :P )

 

[Nihilego]

Really 2-3 weeks as you think said be fine. Maybe even slightly less, but no less that one week imo. Mainly because if you two were very close and you want to end this relationship then she'll be picking up on that and things will get awkward; better end it sooner rather than later, to be honest.

 

[Nutella]

My idea is that you break up with her ASAP. For the most part, there is no such thing as a good time to break up. I would break up before the 7 months, because my impression is that she will celebrate thinking that nothing is wrong. If you break up with her later, she would realise you were lying and you would put yourself into a mess.

 

[Darthatron]

I don't mind if I get in trouble, as long as I don't wreck anything on HER side... Though I've never had an ex not like me after we end it, and I don't plan on starting now.

Quite the predicament.

I thinking breaking up before the 7 months would be a bit mean, though, since it's 3 days after her birthday. Also, I won't actually get to see her until the anniversary. :\ And anything will be in person.