The Post Your Problems Thread

[Her]

okay wow, hand of sympathy dude

I agree with what Kura said, but you should really take an involvement in the babies life if it is yours, as the father.. But if the mother doesn't want you to, then let her be and hope for the best for both of them.

 

[Captain Fabio]

lynds, Captain Fabio, and Kura,

Thanks you for the kind words. I'm just confused really. *Sigh*, I think I realized, reading your comments, what triggered my anger towards my father. Thank you so much. You see, we move to a new place which means I don't have anyone to talk to except express it here. Thanks a bunch for listening. :)

Oh and Kura... I'm a guy. :P

GOD KURA! XD
And happy to help! Here if you need me.​

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Like the title says, I'm in the market for a bike...any suggestions? I'm thinking of going with a Trek of some sort but that's as far as I've gotten...mostly because the only bicycle store close to me sells only Trek and Specialized.

Anyone know of any pros and cons to watch out for between these two brands or just about bikes in general? I live in the burbs so I definitely need a city bike as I don't think I'm hardcore enough to take my bike anywhere, I just want a fun way to be not flabby. ^^; Also I'd like to be able to ride to the library since I'm only a couple of miles away, so there should be very little off-road biking going on.

Well, you have just answered your question a little! ;)
You won't need to get an extreme off-roader type of bike. First off, look around your local area to see what deals are on, and that is all I can think off really.
Ask the people in the store, that is what they are paid to do, so I hope this lack of information on my behalf helps! XD​

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No idea what to do right now. My ex got pregnant. At the time we were together but she left me not long after we found out. At max 2 weeks. and I am really unsure whether it is mine. She has avoided the subject for ages. Don't really know what I am supposed to do about it now. I was excited about it but now all I can think about is whether it is even mine or not, and its really getting me down.

It isn't like there is no reason for me to be like it. She was having her ex round all the time and I was always second place so my doubts aren't just from hearsay and so on. It is from what I myself think.

Razer, lets just continue from our VMs about this!

There is NOTHING wrong with second guessing the father of the baby if you have these doubts, I think some parents think about it at some point, maybe not expressing it, but it could be a thought.
As for what you can do, I don't know how she can justify 'avoiding' the subject when it could be your child. I think you need to ask her and get to the bottom of it and if it comes to it, a DNA test when the child is born, but that could be too late.

What I mean by that is you could get involved in the labor process, help her, get hyped up and then, just saying if you think it could be someone elses, it turn out it isn't yours. :/

Please, talk to her. I know she might not want to, but these are your feelings that are being ripped apart as well. She has a lot to deal with, so sympathise with that first, and just ask at first. Don't get angry with her, don't add more pressure and stress that there already is. Keep calm no matter what.

I am here for you dude like last time. Just give me a shout! Hope it goes well.​

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[Rogue planet]

No idea what to do right now. My ex got pregnant. At the time we were together but she left me not long after we found out. At max 2 weeks. and I am really unsure whether it is mine. She has avoided the subject for ages. Don't really know what I am supposed to do about it now. I was excited about it but now all I can think about is whether it is even mine or not, and its really getting me down.

It isn't like there is no reason for me to be like it. She was having her ex round all the time and I was always second place so my doubts aren't just from hearsay and so on. It is from what I myself think.

Just a heads up; make sure you get tests, evidence, etc. to find out if the baby is yours or not before the birth. After your name is put on the birth certificate, the baby is legally your responsibility, even if you find out you aren't actually the father at a later date. I've seen it happen and it's not pretty.

The fact she left 2 weeks after AND is hesitant to talk about it with you is inviting plenty of suspicion though, I don't know of any other reason as to why she would leave you so soon after finding out she's pregnant.
A child is a big responsibility, and can be even more difficult to care for when the parents are split up so you need to think this through a lot, it will affect your entire life. If the baby is yours then you need to work it out as best as you can. If the baby isn't yours, then I'd advise you just walk away and wipe your hands clean of the whole situation because it can get messy, but it's entirely up to you.

 

[groteske]

Hey guys, I have a kind of a problem

I am a college student. My best friend goes to same college as me. He is good friend and a great person. He is a Junior while I am Freshman (2nd semester). During these days, I had noticed something. Whenever he is talking or spending more time with another person than me, I feel bad and even sometimes a little bit jealous. I sometimes think that he trusts more in other people than me and that makes feel weird and jealous. How can I avoid feeling this way? Is there something wrong with me if I feel this way?

Nothing's wrong with you, it's just insecurity. Make other friends so you don't feel so dependent on his attention.

THEN IT'S YOUR DUTY TO DEFEND HER.
I assume your mum is single. If he's a lunatic, talk to her about it, calmly. Make her realise it's a bad idea, if the relationship gets more serious it's much harder to get rid of him so it's best to turn her around to your way of thinking before that can happen. Make sure you don't get angry or anything with her, otherwise it'll be her and him against you and that's a bad situation. You've got to stay on her side and make sure she knows it, your aim is to help her.

NO, it is absolutely NOT his place to defend her. You can advise her strongly as Vendak has described, as it is your duty as a conscientious son looking out for his mother's happiness to warn her of things she may not be seeing. But it is a downright STUPID suggestion for a 16-year-old boy to defend his mother against a man. The man has already proven to be emotionally abusive and manipulative - physical abuse might not be far off. Were the son to get involved in any capacity other than casual discussion - not relating to the relationship - when the man is present, the situation could quickly escalate.

There are diplomatic ways to handle emotionally stressful situations without inciting more anger - in this situation, I strongly suggest you come up with tactics to ease and reverse the man's anger should it happen again (and it very likely will), ideally as a sort of safety compromise until your mother leaves him. Emotional harm indicates the mother needs to buck up for herself and end it. You can't do that for her. But if the man continues to insult her or escalate to threats or threatening body language, and your mother is not about to make him leave, then call the police. Utilize your neighbors or friends, depending on your relationship with them - have one come over while the man is at the house, even if just to 'pick something up.'

In all though, the man's a rotter and your mother needs to value herself enough to realize this is not normal behavior and find someone who will treat her with respect.

 

[BlueShadow V 2.0]

Nothing's wrong with you, it's just insecurity. Make other friends so you don't feel so dependent on his attention.

Thanks I will try to do it! :)

 

[SquirtleGirl]

I have a problem:

My boyfriend is an amazing boyfriend. He's kind to me, we get on great, have great chemistry, we can totally be ourseleves around each other, he treats me to nice things, we go to the movies together stay at each other's houses. Have a generally good relationship.

The only bleak spot is I have serious self-esteem issues. Everytime we pass another girl on the street or a music video is on T.V. I get seriously paranoid that he'll be more attracted to her than me, which I know isn't just. I just can't help having these obsessive thoughts and I kinda wish I could just switch my brain off and enjoy my relationship. I had a few past relationships which ended badly and made me feel a bit worthless, and I'm his first relationship so he doesn't really understand where I', coming from.

I really don't like feeling this way, but I feel I can't let my gaurd down or I'm just going to be hurt.

My question is, am I a bad person for feeling a bit insecure? I feel like a terrible person everytime I think it :(

 

[Impo]

I have a problem:

My boyfriend is an amazing boyfriend. He's kind to me, we get on great, have great chemistry, we can totally be ourseleves around each other, he treats me to nice things, we go to the movies together stay at each other's houses. Have a generally good relationship.

The only bleak spot is I have serious self-esteem issues. Everytime we pass another girl on the street or a music video is on T.V. I get seriously paranoid that he'll be more attracted to her than me, which I know isn't just. I just can't help having these obsessive thoughts and I kinda wish I could just switch my brain off and enjoy my relationship. I had a few past relationships which ended badly and made me feel a bit worthless, and I'm his first relationship so he doesn't really understand where I', coming from.

I really don't like feeling this way, but I feel I can't let my gaurd down or I'm just going to be hurt.

My question is, am I a bad person for feeling a bit insecure? I feel like a terrible person everytime I think it :(

You're not a bad person for being insecure. Just remember you're a wonderful human being and your boyfriend is with you for that reason, so he won't be attracted to anyone else :) .

 

[SquirtleGirl]

You're not a bad person for being insecure. Just remember you're a wonderful human being and your boyfriend is with you for that reason, so he won't be attracted to anyone else :) .

Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better :) It's still hard to believe you're everything he wants when you're just ordinary and there's so girls who you believe are better ><

 

[Impo]

Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better :) It's still hard to believe you're everything he wants when you're just ordinary and there's so girls who you believe are better ><

All girls feel like that sometimes (and that's coming from a guy).
But I'm positive your boyfriend likes you more than those girls who believe they are all that. Usually the girls who think they are better are actually the worst.

Just remember you're a unique and beautiful young woman :) .

 

[Captain Fabio]

I have a problem:

My boyfriend is an amazing boyfriend. He's kind to me, we get on great, have great chemistry, we can totally be ourseleves around each other, he treats me to nice things, we go to the movies together stay at each other's houses. Have a generally good relationship.

The only bleak spot is I have serious self-esteem issues. Everytime we pass another girl on the street or a music video is on T.V. I get seriously paranoid that he'll be more attracted to her than me, which I know isn't just. I just can't help having these obsessive thoughts and I kinda wish I could just switch my brain off and enjoy my relationship. I had a few past relationships which ended badly and made me feel a bit worthless, and I'm his first relationship so he doesn't really understand where I', coming from.

I really don't like feeling this way, but I feel I can't let my gaurd down or I'm just going to be hurt.

My question is, am I a bad person for feeling a bit insecure? I feel like a terrible person everytime I think it :(

I will just say this.

It is normal, don't worry about it and always remember this. HE IS WITH YOU! Every time you see another girl, just think of that. He is with you, not anyone else.​

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[SquirtleGirl]

All girls feel like that sometimes (and that's coming from a guy).
But I'm positive your boyfriend likes you more than those girls who believe they are all that. Usually the girls who think they are better are actually the worst.

Just remember you're a unique and beautiful young woman :) .

I will just say this.

It is normal, don't worry about it and always remember this. HE IS WITH YOU! Every time you see another girl, just think of that. He is with you, not anyone else.​

Thank you both :3 Hopefully I'll work it out as we go along.

 

[groteske]

Squirtlegirl - It's perfectly normal to be insecure; it's a trait that's very very difficult to overcome. But I gotta be honest because I've been where you are (and sometimes still am) - he's going to be attracted to other women, just like you'll be attracted to other men. Neither of you can help that. Doesn't mean he's going to drop you for the size-0 blonde over there - the fact that you're with him indicates you've got something stronger than the others that pulls you to him & vice versa. Rest assured in that, and whatever you do, don't wallow in self-doubt and insecurity. A jealous, needy girlfriend isn't one that lasts long because it's too exhausting for most guys (hell, PEOPLE) to keep up with those kinds of emotional needs.

 

[starlightartist]

Time To End This Mess.

I may have posted about this before, but I now have to end this.
A few months ago a friend of mine posted a comment on someones site pretending to be them.
Oh and framed me for it.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

 

[Livewire]

Moved this here, because this is where it belongs. In the future, if you're unsure about placement, drop me a VM/PM beforehand. :x

 

[Captain Fabio]

I may have posted about this before, but I now have to end this.
A few months ago a friend of mine posted a comment on someones site pretending to be them.
Oh and framed me for it.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

Well, I am not sure what I can really say to help you out with that.

Just tell him that you didn't appreciate it?​

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[starlightartist]

'fraid I can't do that.
I lost friends and even the girl I fancy turned her back on me.

I'll explain more:
something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.

 

[Ghostrk9]

baby on board!

well just yesterday, i have had some problems. see my dad left my mum me and my brother and sister when i was five. now he has had 3(as i know of) girlfriends and now his most recent one is 28! hes 42 this august mind you! that girl(baby still,living with her parents!)has had a baby just yesterday. now i dont like anything about this, i dont want anything to do with it, dont want to talk to him nor her.

again he hardly calls us, but he is full flighted(if you kno what i mean) in raising this baby. he says he cant afford coming to see us because we live state to state in australia. and my brother is autistic and is talking about this baby like mad(he doesnt want anything to do with it at all)and so does my mum(they live with me,im still youngish)and they constantly ask me how do i feel about the baby? im getting to the point where i am going to say to my father "i hope the dingo ates your baby!" i just dont wanna hear it i dont know what to do i just want out of it


darn flu,well i keep sneezing alot!!! not so much as a flu arrghhh its hurting my nose im gunna sneeze my brains out!!

 

[Captain Fabio]

'fraid I can't do that.
I lost friends and even the girl I fancy turned her back on me.

I'll explain more:
something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.

Talk to them. Seriously.
Look at this way, if they really considered you a friend, then they would at least give you a chance to explain yourself. If they don't, then they aren't worth your time. There are plenty of amazing people out there, you just have to find them! :3​

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well just yesterday, i have had some problems. see my dad left my mum me and my brother and sister when i was five. now he has had 3(as i know of) girlfriends and now his most recent one is 28! hes 42 this august mind you! that girl(baby still,living with her parents!)has had a baby just yesterday. now i dont like anything about this, i dont want anything to do with it, dont want to talk to him nor her.

again he hardly calls us, but he is full flighted(if you kno what i mean) in raising this baby. he says he cant afford coming to see us because we live state to state in australia. and my brother is autistic and is talking about this baby like mad(he doesnt want anything to do with it at all)and so does my mum(they live with me,im still youngish)and they constantly ask me how do i feel about the baby? im getting to the point where i am going to say to my father "i hope the dingo ates your baby!" i just dont wanna hear it i dont know what to do i just want out of it


darn flu,well i keep sneezing alot!!! not so much as a flu arrghhh its hurting my nose im gunna sneeze my brains out!!

Sorry to hear about your flu, maybe go to a doctor if it continues to be bad?

Back to the main issue. I am very sorry to hear about your parents. I can't imagen how hard it is for you and your family.
I am not sure what I can say to that post. It is good to vent, so I guess that is what you have just done. As for what involvement you should/will/won't have with your father will be down to you and your mother.
One thing you should make sure, is that your mother knows you love her. She will be going through a very rough time, as well as yourself and for her to know that she has your support will mean a hell of a lot to her, I am sure.

I can't really give you advice on how to deal with your father, because it all comes down to how you feel. I know you are angry now, and I am sure you will be for a while to come yet. But he is still your father.
You could tell him he has made you feel, how upset, angry and ashamed you are of him. Normally, a father hearing that from his kids would be a big blow and might make him stop to think of what he has done and who he has really effected...

I hope this helps.​

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[Hybrid Trainer]

Teaching problem "/

Well the other week I went back to my old secondery school to see if I could get a kind of volunteer job thing so I could get some teaching experience for when I apply to university.
so when I went there on thursday I expected to observe the lesson and maybe help a kid with his work. But I've ended up showing them some software they could use and save about 4 grand and said id show the ICT and art departments how to use them.
of course I was happy that I was getting some decent experience, but when my parents found out there were angry because they said there taking advantage of me and are getting out of spending about £400 on a real person to come and teach them. Now this has flipped everything upsidedown now as im dering if I ask to get paid will they say no and stop me from coming bac, which would ruin everything as this is pretty much my only chance to do this. Also its got me thinking would this even be legal whats going on.
im just so confused, someone please help before I end up doing something completely stupid!

 

[Captain Fabio]

Yes, you can make money from it, but you went there to help volunteer. It would seem very cheeky for you to ask for money once you started helping out.

I would just carry on helping out and not ask for money if I was you. It will be worth it in the end. As long a you aren't there for a very long time, then it should be ok. But if you are there for, say, a month doing all of this, then that could be counted as a job and I would then ask for payment.​

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