It's good advice Livewire, it's basically what I'd suggest to others, but I dont know if it's applicable in my situation.. as in.. when you're in a classroom setting, you're not going to curse at the teacher, nor call him or her "Dawg" yet you still are acting yourself. I didn't use the classroom setting to say that I'm restricting myself, rather, just being more conscious of what I say.
The point is.. should I? Or is there another alternative?
The thing is, most people would say "Be yourself" but then if I act myself, they'll gravitate towards someone with more ideal "expressions." Therefore making me feel like "myself" is inadequate. Like maybe there's just something a bit off. They gravitate towards someone more silly and fun.. and I can say that I like to be silly and fun, too, but most times the opportunity doesn't arise without me thinking that I would sound foolish or premature. At the same time.. people seem to.. like that? But I know I'm not a kid and I've stopped acting that way. I'm not going to degenerate into an old way of thinking to please others, but I know perhaps there is something I could be doing so that I don't always feel so distanced when I talk to members here.
We say things socially to connect and interact with people, so if others like that and are engaged, then what would be the reason not to do it? Because it's not 100% of what I want to say? Perhaps.
Maybe they are offended on what I have to say because usually what I have to say brings out certain truths that make them uncomfortable, and then in return they will offend me by doing the same.
What they think may be insignificant, but when so many think the same it starts to become significant and I wonder if it merits a change- being true or not.
I wonder if I should just accept social outcast as a norm and continue to be guarded with my thoughts and feelings with just about all individuals on here. Or if it's okay to show over-excitement to miniscule things so that I get my point across. (Instead of saying "wow that's cool" I'll say "Oh my! That's possibly the most incredible thing I've seen in a while!")
Heck, maybe I should "tone down" a little.. stop taking this thread so seriously right? That's what I expect to hear.. and technically what I've already heard "It's a Pokemon forum, who cares!" right? (I know you didn't mean it in a blowing it over sort of way don't worry, I'm just being sarcastic)
Wow.. this reply just got longer than I expected. Point is.. I'm still torn. I know it's important to be myself- and I think I've been through too much not to be myself. >_>
Metaphorically speaking.... a person is still the same person if they get a makeover, right? I don't know if I want the makeover yet.. perhaps it's a good thing or perhaps it'd be a bad thing.. I have a feeling it depends on how many people rag on me for being "ugly", how long it takes for me to believe what they say, and how proud I feel to be the "ugly" person regardless.
