Ehh, thought post time.
first of all, they just look like your average cookie-cutter fox/cat, there seems to be nothing special about eevee or its evolutions. eevee is cute, but it lacks any form of originality, unlike something such as ninetales, snivy or conkeldurr. its evolutions are cute, but again, no originality. this means they steal all the spotlight from pokemon that deserve more love, such as abomasnow (glaceon), alakazam (espeon), honchkrow (umbreon) or clefable (sylveon).
This is kinda the point with Eevee: All the Eeveelutions are just Eevee adapting to a certain type. Would it make sense that Eevee evolves into a bird? Of course not. It's pretty clear that Vaporeon turns into a better swimmer, Jolteon adapts to the fast Electric archetype, and Espeon fits into the powerful Psychic archetype. I think having a well-implemented motif can count as creativity.
second, eeveelutions are decent, but they are outclassed. they have poor movepools, gamefreak seems to lazily rearrange their stats and call it a day. like i'd never use glaceon over weavile or kyurem, or vaporeon over blastoise. like why would i only benefit from 130 special attack and meh speed/bulk when i can get excellent speed, swords dance and dark stab (weavile) or get stab draco meteor, moves such as earth power and focus blast, and roost (kyurem)? besides sylveon, which has pixilate hyper voice, eeveelutions are ridiculously outclassed both in-game and competitively.
Competitvely:
I like Samurott. However, Samurott is NU. So does that mean I can't like Samurott anymore? Or Archeops? Or Sandslash?
What I'm saying is that competitive viability shouldn't affect why a Pokemon shouldn't be liked. Not everyone plays Pokemon for competitve purposes, it shouldn't affect everyone.
Ingame, though:
You mention Alakazam. And you also say,
(and pls give me a break with trades and crap)
That's actually a huge issue, in that in order to get an Alakazam, you have to catch an Abra, which can Teleport out of battle, somehow get it to level 16 without having a attack move (unless you want to waste precious TMs before generation 5), and get someone not only trade with you to evolve the Kadabra, but to give it back afterwards. And even Alakazam has its faults: its defenses are pretty low, and if it doesn't OHKO something, it risks being OHKOed back.
So why go to all that trouble when someone gives me a free Eevee to use?
Up until recent generations, there would be people that would just give them to you. No going out on a goose chase, looking for that rare wild. No tossing balls endlessly. It's just sitting there, waiting to be found in RBY, GSC, FRLG, Platinum, and HGSS.
Their stats are relatively high for something that's obtained usually before the third or fourth gym. 525 is comparable to even some of the starters. And bar Glaceon, which always has some ridiculous location for evolution for some reason, Eevee is evolved relatively quick upon obtainment. Sure, you might need lots of walking/vitamins for Espeon and Umbreon, but they technically can be obtained soon after receiving it (and you don't even need friends to do it). And their stats make them worth it: in fact, Espeon has a higher BST than Alakazam.
It's also notable that many things that would otherwise outshine the Eeveelutions are available later, when they may be a pain to bring up to the rest of your team. in RBY, Vaporeon's available before the Super Rod's available. Jolteon's available before the Power Plant, before Electabuzz and Zapdos. While Flabebe's available before you can get an Eevee, the wait for a Shiny Stone for Florges (while sticking with the Inferior Floette) makes Sylveon a better option a bit earlier. Even if they arrive around the same level, they won't have as many EVs as their Eeveelution competition (even in the Floette example, as Sylveon is better battler than Floette, meaning it will likely get more experience/EVs due to experiencing more battles).
This makes the Eeveelutions very good Pokemon to pick up and place on your team. Thing is? If you replay the game, you can use Eevee again, even with a different team, because it's so darn versatile. Likewise, due to versatility, Eevee is likely to find a space on most teams where it can fulfill a specific role, so it your team needs another member, it can be an issue of "just add Eevee". This makes it a Pokemon people want to use over and play around with, which people like it.
Basically what I'm getting at here is it's actually pretty easy to use the Eeveelutions ingame (yes, even Flareon: it had 110 special attack due to the Special stat in RBY), especially in self-induced challenges like Nuzlockes, as Eevee usually doesn't take up an area's catch.
and third, and most of all, they are EXTREMELY overrated, and most of them are considered female by fans, even though they all have a 87.5% chance to be male lol. i get eevee is marketable and all, but so is mewtwo.
I don't see why not to like them. They have their motif, which is pretty unique among Pokemon, and they are pretty cute, which means that fans will gobble up what merchandise is thrown out. That's a plus for Game Freak. Sure, Mewtwo is marketable, but probably to a slightly different audience.
I don't really see why the gender matters. At all.
Eevee and its evolutions might be a bit overrated. But it shouldn't be hard to figure out why: it's a unique concept, it's adorable, and actually not too awful when it comes to battling.
