Help Save My Rattata!

OK this is how the game works...

A boy/girl's (whatever is better for you) Rattata is about to die :O
(Yeah i know shocking)
You as a nurse/doctor must save him using your (awful) knowledge that you learnt from pokemon school

You should start off maybye something like this
Example:-
Nurse! I need some pliers to rip its eyes out, and get me some spare eyes! (something along that)

You can have as many ideas as you want JUST MAKE IT ORIGINAL! Oh and you don't need to follow on from the poster above you but it's up to you...

Get it?
Ok so i'll start it off...

Nurse! Get me some oil, the trainer may come back i don't want him to see what we are doing!

Doctor, here is your oil*trips while delivering it, spilling on the floor in the hallway*

Nurse! Will you kindly get the marking pen, pl-NOW! I need to draw an important mou-err... line so I know where to cut later. OH, bring me the camera as well.

Here...AHH!!! *slips on the oil*

Nurse get me the scissors for cutting of the tail NOW!

*not running with scissors of course* here you are these are the only ones i could find (hands play-doh scissors)
Nurse we need some lights in here quickly!!!

Here-! *hands doctor a lit match, the doctor burns the Ratata*

Nurse, get me some spices so I can stuff it! We're mummifying it!

here!! oh no a guy just stole it!! D:<

i need needles!!

Here, Doctor, I got these cheap, second-hand!

Nurse, I need a tiny surgery set, STAT!

Here's the tiny surgery se-- *Trips and throws surgery set and injures doctor*

Nurse, I need a doctor, STAT!

Here, I got a doctor plushie, all brand-new and such!

Nurse, we need a hammer!

here! *accidently hits the rattata* uh oh

nurse i need a hand

heres your hand *nurse cuts his hand off with scalpal and gives to docter* sighs we had a scalpal crap oh well

nurse we need a bandage and spme hot glue

here*glue hand to ratta*
nurse we need some pokemedicence

"I think I got some used ones in my jacket pocket!"

"Nurse, google search 'surgery for dummies', pronto!"

My internet isn't working!

Pliers?! Check.
GLUE! Check.
Scalpel! Cheeeck.
Tissues! Oh.

TISSUES! NURSE! NOW!

>:|

"I'll go to the nearest funeral and get some!"

"Nurse, I need some cheetos! You can't expect me to perform surgery on an empty stomach!"

WE'RE OUT OF CHEETOS, BUT HAVE SUPERSPICY CURRY INSTEAD! *trips and Ratatta gets covered in curry and starts burning to death*

im afraid it sucked so badly, it out of stock

Nurse, I need A real doctor!

Here's a Magikarp! *Magikarp uses its deadly Splash attack*

OH GOD! NURSE, I NEED A PIKACHU TO KILL THE MAGIKARP!