View Full Version : Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Trevor and his Friends

August 1st, 2009, 9:49 PM
Hey guys, I'm new here and wanted to start my own fan fiction series based on the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series. Because I'm new here, I don't really know what would make a really good story, so I would appreciate it if you guys wouldn't criticize me if the story is bad or inaccurate. Unlike most fanfics, mine is slightly geared morely to the younger type crowd. This story won't be exactly like the games are, a lot of it I'll make up. I'll first post the prologue, then over time post the continuing stories. Enjoy.

Prologue: A New Start
One bright, sunny day at the seashore, Squirtle was taking a walk while trying to think.

SQUIRTLE:....(sigh).....I can't think of anybody else to ask. I've tried everybody, but they all are in a team already. There has to be someone who wants to start a team with me.

Squirtle was all out of Pokemon to ask to join him and was beginning to give up. But just around a rocky boulder, he saw something completely out of the ordinary: A Treecko, lying on his back, unconscious.

SQUIRTLE (shouting): ...Hey! Are you alright?

But it didn't answer. Worried, Squirtle runs up to it to see if it was okay.

SQUIRTLE: Hello? Is anybody there?

TREECKO (mumbling): ...unngghh.....

SQUIRTLE: Say something, quick!

TREECKO: ....unngghh...huh?

SQUIRTLE: Open your eyes, please!

Treecko then slowly starts to open its eyes.

TREECKO (weary): What happened?

SQUIRTLE (relieved): Oh! Thank goodness you're alive!

Treecko sits up and looks around.

TREECKO: What am I doing at the beach?

SQUIRTLE: I found you out cold. Maybe you washed upon shore here.

TREECKO: Maybe, but-

Treecko suddenly turns and sees Squirtle next to him.

SQUIRTLE: But what?

But Treecko didn't answer and simply stares in a daze.

SQUIRTLE: What's eating ya?

Treecko then begins to shudder in fear.

TREECKO (nervously): Is th-that a c-c-costume you're wearing?

SQUIRTLE (confused): Costume? What are you talking about?

TREECKO (in panic): Pokemon can't talk! That's impossible!

SQUIRTLE: What to you mean? It is so possible. You're talking right now.

TREECKO: That's because I'm a human; humans can talk.

SQUIRTLE: ...You're not a human. For a Pokemon, you act rather odd. Are you sure you're okay?

TREECKO: I'm not a Pokemon! Can't you tell? I mean look at my hand.

Treecko stretches out his hand in front of him.

TREECKO: Look. You can plainly see that-

He suddenly notices that his arm is green and that he has three stubby fingers.

TREECKO: ..........

Treecko then looks down at his feet and sees his three-toed feet. Then he looks around down his back and sees his tail.
In panic, Treecko runs to a nearby shiny rock with flat surface and looks down on it. He sees a Treecko look back at him, but he realizes it's his reflection.

TREECKO (quietly): ...No...way. I've turned {loudly} INTO A TREECKO!

Treecko starts to faint and falls backwards. But Squirtle quickly runs up to him and catches him before he collapses.

SQUIRTLE: Treecko! You alright? Say something!

Squirtle tries to revive him, but is unsuccessful.

SQUIRTLE: I'll have to take you home for help.

Squirtle gently lays Treecko onto his back in a piggyback manner.

SQUIRTLE: Man, your heavier than you look.

Later that day...

TREECKO: ......hmm....(yawn).

TREECKO (to himself): That was a weird dream. Me turning into a Pokemon and all.

Treecko opens his eyes, sits up, and sees he is in a grassy hut. There was a sunroof, a small fountain, and decorative plants all around. In shock to this, he jumps out of the hammock and runs to a mirror hanging on the wall. He sees himself as a Treecko just as he has before.

TREECKO (to himself): It wasn't a dream. I guess I really am a Treecko after all.

Treecko goes back and looks around the hut. It was quite a comfy place to stay. Squirtle
suddenly walks into the hut.

SQUIRTLE: You're up! Are you alright now?

TREECKO: I think so.

SQUIRTLE: That's a relief. I was worried about you, so I brought you here to rest.

TREECKO: Well, thanks. I sure is nice here at you're house.

SQUIRTLE: Glad you like it. So....how about we start over and get acquainted. What's
your name?

TREECKO: Trevor. At least, it was my name when I was a human.

SQUIRTLE: Trevor...that's a pretty good name.

TREVOR: Thanks.

SQUIRTLE: Do you remember where you're from?

Trevor sits down to think.

TREVOR: It seemed to have slipped my mind, I can't quite recall it.

SQUIRTLE: Do you remember anything about where you came from?

TREVOR: I can't remember anything. What do I do now? I have to know how this all
happened. Can you help me?

SQUIRTLE: I'm not sure. I've never seen a Pokemon that was a human before, nor has anybody else. But maybe Whiscash can help.

TREVOR: Who's Whiscash?

SQUIRTLE: Whicash is one of the wisest Pokemon in our town. Maybe he could help.

TREVOR: You sure?

SQUIRTLE: I guess. Who else do you think could do it?

TREVOR: I'll take your word for it. Lets go.

Both Squirtle and Trevor walk outside the hut into a large neighborhood.

SQUIRTLE: Whiscash's place is west from here.

They both run off to the west and through a grassy path. They eventually arrive in a
town square that is crowded with Pokemon.

SQUIRTLE: Welcome to the Pokemon Square, where many Pokemon hang out, run businesses, trade stuff, and lots more.

Trevor looks around as they walk and see various markets. He sees a shop being run by two Kecleon brothers. He also sees a Persian running a bank. At the center square, they both make a left turn and head north. Up a rocky walkway, they come up to a large pond with a few Pokemon gathered around it. And at the head of the pond was Whiscash.

SQUIRTLE: Hey, Whiscash! May we have a word with you?

WHISCASH: Ah, Squirtle. Fancy seeing you here at this time. And of course we can talk, I always like to have someone to talk to.

SQUIRTLE: Whiscash, this is Trevor, he's a Treecko I found down at the seashore. He needs to tell you something.

WHISHCASH: Speak then, I'm listening.

TREVOR: Thanks. You see....

Trevor explains to Whiscash about him being a human that has changed into a Treecko.
He further explains about him forgetting where he came from.

WHISCASH: ...Strange...very strange. A human becoming a Pokemon is very abnormal. Even more strange how you don't remember how.

TREVOR: Could you help me? Any suggestions of how this happened?

WHISCASH: ......Sorry...I have no clue how this could have happened. But since you're a Pokemon now, maybe Squirtle could show you around and explain how the Pokemon life works.

SQUIRTLE: That's it! Hey, Trevor, how about you and I form a rescue team together.

TREVOR: What's a rescue team?

SQUIRTLE: It's a team of Pokemon who go out to different lands, dungeon, and many
other places to help a certain Pokemon with trouble.

TREVOR: Sounds kind of interesting. I guess I could join.

SQUIRTLE: (excited) Wow! Thanks a million.

TREVOR: Is there a name for our team?

SQUIRTLE: Hmm.... I never thought of that.

TREVOR: How about...Team Brightleaf?

SQUIRTLE: Not bad, kind of an odd name though. How about Team Drenchers?

TREVOR: Good, but it doesn't make clear sense. How about both together: Team Drenchleaf?

SQUIRTLE: ...I like it actually. Lets go with that.

TREVOR and SQUIRTLE: Presenting, the new Pokemon rescue team, Team Drenchleaf!

And so, both Squirtle and his new partner Trevor the Treecko ran downtown to the post office to get their first mission.


More stories will be coming soon. Note that when I first played Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team, I was a Treecko and my partner was Squirtle too.

August 3rd, 2009, 11:40 PM
Here's the first chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 1: Over the river and through the forest.

Last time you remember, Squirtle found a Treecko named Trevor unconscious on the seashore. But when Trevor woke up he was shocked to see that he was changed to a Pokemon. So they both went to Whiscash the elder and asked if he could figure something out. Unfortunately he had no idea of how this could have happened. So he suggested for Trevor to live in the Pokemon world with Squirtle. Both Trevor and Squirtle then formed a new rescue team: Team Drenchleaf. To get started, they ran downtown to the post office to accept their first mission.

SQUIRTLE: This is the Pelipper Post Office. Pokemon post their troubles or requests here on the bulletin board. Different rescue teams come here and try to help these troubles. Also, Pokemon can give letters to the Pelipper to deliver. They can also send requests to a certain rescue team for help.

TREVOR: You think anyone will send us requests?

SQUIRTLE: I'm not sure. After all, we did just start. But I'm almost positive that after our first mission, many requests will come.

TREVOR: I hope so too.

All of a sudden, a Sudowoodo came running up to the bulletin board and with a sheet of paper in his hand. Right then, it turns and sees Squirtle and Trevor.

SUDOWOODO (frantically): Hey! Are you a rescue team?

SQUIRTLE: You bet.

SUDOWOODO (relieved): Great, I was just about to post a request for help on the board. But since you're here I'll ask personally.

SQUIRTLE: Go on. What's you're problem?

SUDOWOODO (struttering): M-My little brother, B-B-Bonsly was kidnapped! We were walking through the woods to collect berries, then a P-Pinsir jumped out of nowhere and snatched up Bonsly in its horns! I chased after it, but it bashed me with it's head and ran off!

SQUIRTLE: Do you know why it did this?

SUDOWOODO: I don't know it didn't say anything. It simply grabbed Bonsly, attacked me, and ran with no explanation! You gotta help me! If that Pinsir could beat me up that easy, there's no way I could defeat it.

SQUIRTLE: Of course we'll help. Won't we Trevor?

TREVOR: Sure thing.

SQUIRTLE (to Sudowoodo): Do you remember where it ran off to?

SUDOWOODO: I think it ran off to the southern part of the forest.

SQUIRTLE: Thanks. {to Trevor} C'mon, we gotta get prepared. That Pinsir sounds awful mean.

They both quickly dash off to the Kecleon shop to buy some supplies. Before they get there...

TREVOR: Do you have enough money for supplies?

SQUIRTLE: I think I have enough to afford supplies that may sustain us for that Pinsir.

TREVOR: Okay, I'll take your word for it.

Squirtle and Trevor arrive at the Kecleon shop.

KECLEON BROTHERS: Welcome to our supply shop! We have the nicest deals for supplies you can imagine. How can we be of assistance?

SQUIRTLE: Hey guys, we're off to our first mission to rescue a Bonsly from a Pinsir.

KECLEON #1: A Pinsir, eh? I think I know what could be handy.

The Kecleon walks into his storage and takes out a small sack. He brings it up front and pours a small pile of seeds onto the counter. The second Kecleon brother picks up a round, shiny seed.

TREVOR: What is it?

KECLEON #1: This is a Reviver seed.

KECLEON #2: It's very helpful.

KECLEON #1: If you grow too weak to continue on, just gobble up this seed and-

KECLEON #2: You will fully recover.

SQUIRTLE: Super! How much is it?

KECLEON #1: It's being sold at a great price of-

KECLEON #2: 800 Poké.

SQUIRTLE: Hmmm...that's a bit much. Could you maybe bargain with us?

KECLEON #1: Since you guys are just beginners.

KECLEON #2: We'll cut it down to 700 Poké.

SQUIRTLE: It's a deal.

Squirtle gave the brothers his 700 Poké, and they gave him in return the Reviver seed.

SQUIRTLE: Thank you.

KECLEON BROS: You're welcome!

They then head on towards the edge of the forest.

TREVOR: Say Squirtle, how about we take food with us in case we get hungry?

SQUIRTLE: No problem. I've got a few apples stored in my toolbox. I like to plan ahead.

TREVOR: So are we all set?

SQUIRTLE: Yep. Let's go!

SQUIRTLE and TREVOR: Go Team Drenchleaf!

The two friends walk up to a river. They see an old bridge near by and they begin to cross it.

???: Hey! Where ya two headed?

TREVOR: Who said that?

SQUIRTLE: Hold on a minute.

Squirtle walks to the other end of the bridge and calls out.

SQUIRTLE: Where are you?

???: I'm not telling ya. So where are you two headed?

Squirtle crouches to the ground.

SQUIRTLE: Diglett? Is that you?

A Diglett digs up out of the ground right under Squirtle, causing him to rise into the air and fall on his backside.

DIGLETT: How'd ya now it was me?

SQUIRTLE: Who else do I know that can speak underground like that?

DIGLETT: Good point. Anyway, like I said, where are ya two guys headed?

SQUIRTLE: Into the forest, we're on a rescue mission to save a Bonsly from a mean Pinsir.

DIGLETT: Your first mission is to fight off a huge beast like that? You're nuts.

SQUIRTLE: Not likely. Both Trevor and I can take care of a beetle like that, easy.

DIGLETT: ...Who's Trevor?

TREVOR: That's me.

SQUIRTLE: He's my partner in our new rescue team, Team Drenchleaf.

DIGLETT: That's your team name? It sounds...great actually.

SQUIRTLE: Now that you know where we're going, we should be on our way now.

DIGLETT: Alright. But if you come back with injuries all over ya, don't blame me.

SQUIRTLE (confidently): Don't worry, we won't.

Trevor and Squirtle, full of confidence and bravery, march into the forest in search for the captured Bonsly. Why would a Pinsir take away somebody like that? Our two adventurers will soon find out.

TREVOR: Geez, it's impossible to see any sunlight with all the leaves above us.

SQUIRTLE: Right, so watch your step. The ground is also covered with leaves and tall grass.

Unfortunately, Squirtle's warning wasn't enough. Trevor walks and steps on something bumpy.


Trevor quickly jumps back.

TREVOR: What was that?!

SQUIRTLE: What was what?

TREVOR: I think I stepped on something!

The spot that Trevor's foot was looked like a purple and white striped bump. Suddenly it begins to vibrate and then the bump jumps up and out. To their surprise, it was the back of a Dunsparce.

SQUIRTLE: Careful now, Trevor. That's a Dunsparce!

TREVOR: What do Dunsparces do when disturbed?

DUNSPARCE (angrily): Oh, I'll tell you what they do if disturbed. Either we run and hide, or attack in swarm. And because you stepped on my back, I guess a swarm is a fair choice.

Immediately, the Dunsparce jumps up and shakes it's spiky tail violently, thus making a loud, rattling sound.

SQUIRTLE: Trevor! Run!


SQUIRTLE: It's calling it's other kind to make a swarm attack! RUN!

In a blink of an eye, they both were on their way...fast!

TREVOR: ...(pant)...How fast can a Dunsparce run?

SQUIRTLE: They don't run, they fly!

It turns out Squirtle was right. Just behind them, a group of Dunsparce was hovering after them.

TREVOR: Quick! Up this tree!

They spot a nearby tree that has many lower limbs for climbing. Trevor didn't have much trouble climbing, for he had tiny spikes on his hands and feet. Squirtle on the other hand was climbing a bit slower behind him.

TREVOR: Grab my arm! I'll boost you up here.

Just like that, Squirtle grabbed Trevor's arm and Trevor heaved him up to the limb he was on.

TREVOR: Can they follow us up here?

The Dunsparce swarm gathered around the bottom of the tree. Suddenly, they all latched to the tree and slowly climbed up the trunk.

SQUIRTLE: I'm afraid you're right.

Quickly, Squirtle lowers his head down to get a closer view.

SQUIRTLE: I'll hold them off with my Water Gun. Here goes.

With great aim, Squirtle charged his Water Gun attack and squirted it downward toward the Dunsparce.

SQUIRTLE (briefly stops his Water Gun): Trevor! Try helping with your Bullet Seed.

TREVOR: I'll give it a shot.

Trevor then held his breath, but when he blew, nothing but a few green sparkles flew out of his mouth.

TREVOR: Nothing happened. Quick, use Water Gun again! The Dunsparce are getting closer!

Immediately, Squirtle charged and used Water Gun again, causing the Dunsparce to lose grip and fall to the ground.

SQUIRTLE (heavily): ...(pant)...(pant)...C'mon, lets get down and get going. Those Dunsparce are only knocked out temporarily.

Quickly they both climb down the tree and hurry off before the Dunsparce wake up.

While they continue to search for Bonsly...

TREVOR: Hey, thanks for taking out the swarm earlier, Squirtle. And sorry that I couldn't help.

SQUIRTLE: That's okay, it's cool. And besides, you helped me climb to the top of that tree right?

TREVOR: That's true. Say, I'm getting a bit hungry, how about you?

On cue, Squirtle belly begins to growl.

SQUIRTLE: I guess we could stop and take a quick snack.

Squirtle takes his toolbox and takes out two apples, one for Trevor. As they sat and ate...

TREVOR: By the way, how is it that one learns to use certain attacks?

SQUIRTLE: It's quite complicated. It mostly depends how hard you fight and how hard you practice.

TREVOR: I thought so.

TREVOR: How are we gonna find Bonsly here in a forest this big?

SQUIRTLE: Remember, it was taken by a Pinsir. If we find Pinsir, Bonsly is sure to be found too.

TREVOR: How will we find Pinsir?

SQUIRTLE: It'll be easy. It's not gonna be hard to find a bug as big as that. Seriously, I've heard about Pinsirs as being so huge, you'd think it'd be a....uh.....never mind, I can't think of anything.

TREVOR: How big is it exactly?

SQUIRTLE: About three times our size.

Trevor suddenly shakes in fear.

TREVOR (nervously): S-Squirtle...

SQUIRTLE: Oh come on, it can't be that scary.

TREVOR: N-No not that. That!

Trevor points at a large creature behind Squirtle. Quickly, Squirtle looks behind him and sees the monster.


Squirtle jumps back away from it and tightly grips onto Trevor in fear.

TREVOR: W-What's that!

SQUIRTLE: It's the Pinsir!

A large Pinsir walks out of the shade into the light.

TREVOR: You're right! It is three times our size!

The Pinsir then started to speak in a growly voice.

PINSIR: You two get out of these woods now, or I'll throw you out of here!

SQUIRTLE (bravely): No! We're here to get the Bonsly you kidnapped. So, it would be kind if you give him to us and we'll go.

PINSIR: Sorry! There's no way I'm gonna release him! So if you two want him, come and get him yourself!

SQUIRTLE: Okay then, you've asked for it. Let do it Trevor!

TREVOR: Er..right!

They're off!
Team Drenchleaf VS. Pinsir!

PINSIR: Taste my iron clutches!

Pinsir dives toward Squirtle to grasp him, but luckily he dodges.

SQUIRTLE: Is that all you got? Try WATER GUN!

Squirtle launches his water gun attack directly into Pinsir's face.

PINSIR: ACK! Can't see!

SQUIRTLE: Now try my Tackle on for size!

Squirtle runs up to Pinsir and leaps toward him. But Pinsir quickly raises his head and catches Squirtle in it's pincers.

TREVOR: Squirtle! Hide in your shell quick!

Squirtle hears him and quickly ducks into his shell to hide. Seeing this, Pinsir spins around and lunges the shell high into the air. Once it comes down, he catches the shell again and immediately throws it towards a tree. After it crashes, Squirtle sticks his head out again, he is unharmed, but is very dizzy from the throwing. Pinsir walks up to the dazed Squirtle and prepares to attack him again.

PINSIR: You're toast now, Squirtle. Heh heh-{"BASH!"}OW!! Who did that!?

Looking behind him, he sees that Trevor used his tail to use his Pound attack on the back of Pinsir's head.


In its fury, Pinsir runs after Trevor, who also begins to run. Pinsir continuously tries to attack Trevor, but also continuously misses.

TREVOR (teasing): You'll never catch me.

PINSIR: That's what you think!

Strategically, Pinsir runs around the opposite direction Trevor is running and heads him off. Trevor, not knowing what Pinsir was doing, accidentally runs right in front of Pinsir, who immediately catches him in its solid grip.

TREVOR: Woah! Hey! Put me down, your gripping too hard!

PINSIR: Exactly.

Like before, Pinsir throws Trevor high into the air. Quickly, Pinsir backs up, and before Trevor reaches the ground...{"KASMASH!!"}. Pinsir ran up to Trevor and bashed him hard with it's 'horns'. Squirtle, recovered from his dizziness, notices Trevor in it's injured state.


Luckily, Trevor was still awake. Seeing this, Squirtle opens the toolbox and pulls out the Reviver Seed they bought earlier.


Squirtle throws the seed towards Trevor. Hearing his call, Trevor sits up and sees the seed coming, quicky he catches in his hands. Pinsir sees that Squirtle is up again and runs towards him. But at the very moment, Trevor scarfs down the seed and immediately feels completely active again. He quickly notices Pinsir and runs after him. He leaps into the air and...{"WHAM!"}... again uses his Pound attack on him.

PINSIR: OOF!! You reptilian pest!!

Pinsir switches his target to Treecko again and runs towards him. But he doesn't get far, for Squirtle uses his Tackle on him and has him knocked down on his face.


Pinsir jumps up and begins to ram towards them both.

SQUIRTLE: Now! Let's both attack!

Like so, the two Pokemon leap over Pinsir's head and simultaneously use their attack on the top of his noggin as hard as they could.
After they hit the ground, the turn heads and see Pinsir wobbling around all dizzy. The beast leans backwards and falls onto it's back unconscious.

SQUIRTLE: YAHOO!! He's down! Trevor, you were awesome with that pounding.

TREVOR: Likewise your Water Gun and Tackle. I couldn't have done it better.

Squirtle merely laughs at this.

TREVOR: Now that Pinsir is defeated, what do we do?

SQUIRTLE: Bonsly! I almost forgot!

They both hurry on and end up reaching a large hut. It was in a basic semicircle shape. They walk inside, and they see a table with a large collection of berries piled on top.

TREVOR: Where did all these berries come from?

SQUIRTLE: Hmmm....I wonder...

???: Hey! Is someone out there!

TREVOR: It came from behind the hut!

Squirtle and Trevor dash outside the hut and run around to the back. There they see a campsite, with a set of cages around it. Half of the cages were filled with a Pokemon inside, one of them being Bonsly.

SQUIRTLE: Bonsly! There you are!

BONSLY: Who are you? Are you a rescue team?

TREVOR: Yeah, we're Team Drenchleaf. Sudowoodo sent us to find you.

BONSLY: My big brother sent you? But how'd did you get past Pinsir?

Both Trevor and Squirtle explain the battle to Bonsly.

BONSLY: Gee, I wouldn't think you guys would go through all that just to save me.

SQUIRTLE: Lets go. By now, Sudowoodo is probably sick over you.

Squirtle finds the key to the cages and releases all the trapped Pokemon from their prisons. Once that was done, they all run around the hut to head for home. But right at the entrance was Pinsir, still weary from battle.

PINSIR: Hold it!

SQUIRTLE: Hey! Get out of our way, we're going home now.

PINSIR: I'm not wanting to battle. I just wanted to say something.

SQUIRTLE: We're listening.

PINSIR: I was only kidnapping these Pokemon cause they were in my area. I thought they were coming to steal my collection of berries. But after you guys beat me, you guys didn't even touch a single berry. So perhaps it was mistake was it?

BONSLY: Yes, I was just looking through the bushes to find berries, not to take yours.

PINSIR: Why didn't you tell me before?

BONSLY: I did. You were too angry to listen.

PINSIR: Oh....sorry.

BONSLY: Apology accepted. Now may we go?

Pinsir steps aside and lets them pass.

TREVOR (to Pinsir): What are you going to do with those berries anyway?

PINSIR: I'm not sure what I'll do with 'em.

TREVOR: Maybe you could sell them or something.

PINSIR: I'll gladly think about that. Thanks.

TREVOR: No problem.

Later that day, just before the sun begins to set, Treecko and Squirtle and all the other kidnapped Pokemon reached the edge of the forest and found their way back to the Pokemon town. Right there at the square was Sudowoodo, waiting.

BONSLY: Big bro!

SUDOWOODO: Lil' bro! You're back!

Bonsly runs up to him and jumps into it's arms with joy.

SUDOWOODO: Haha, Bonsly, thank goodness you're unharmed!

He turns to Team Drenchleaf.

SUDOWOODO: Thanks a million you guys. That Pinsir sure was tough was he? I would've hated it if he was rough on you.


TREVOR: It wasn't too bad.

SUDOWOODO: I must give you a reward somehow.

SQUIRTLE: No it's okay, we're just glad we did it.

SUDOWOODO: No, please. I have a perfect idea for a reward.

In the backpack he was carrying, he pulls out a pair of yellow bands.

SUDOWOODO: Here, these are Patsy Bands. They help prevent you from taking any critical hits from enemies.

SQUIRTLE: Awesome! Thanks a bunch!

SUDOWOODO: You too, man.

Sudowoodo and his little brother Bonsly walk down to the neighborhood back home.
After they officially finished their mission, they run up to Whischash pond and tell Whiscash about the adventure they had.

WHISCASH: I say! You two are far greater than I believed you would be. I believe that if you keep this up, you might be as good as Team A.C.T. someday.


SQUIRTLE: They're an awesome, gold-ranked rescue team of Alakazam, Charizard, and Tyranitar. You should see them in action, it's so cool.

TREVOR: I hope so.

WHISCASH: Well, the sun looks like it's about gone. Perhaps you two should head home and get a good night sleep. You had a very busy day today.

TREVOR: Okay, good night Whiscash.

WHISCASH: Good night.

Whiscash then slowly sinks below the pond.

By the time Squirtle and Trevor were back at the grassy hut, the stars were glimmering in the sky.

SQUIRTLE: We did good on our first day, didn't we?

TREVOR: Yep, we sure did.

SQUIRTLE: You can sleep here on the hammock. My bed is in the other room.

TREVOR: Thanks.

Trevor climbs into the hammock, which was quite comfortable.

TREVOR: See you tomorrow, Squirtle.

SQUIRTLE: Good night.

Then they both begin to doze off.

TREVOR (in his mind): Hmmm....maybe being a Pokemon is pretty cool after all. And Squirtle is really a great friend. And who knows, maybe I'll find out what happened to me on our adventures one day.


Well, my first story is now done. I'll make more in the future. In the mean time, enjoy.

August 4th, 2009, 8:02 AM
Hmmm :S

Script form fan fics are a difficult thing to do. And I'd have to say, this isn't the best one either.

See, scripts adhere to a specific format. One that you can find on the net though. That is to say, any movie/tv show script you come across will be the best examples.

Your fic still has the potential to be a regular story fic though. However several things have to be fixed, such as the general plot. I'm not sure where you're going with it. Plus you also have to have an idea of your character's personality. I'd have thought that Trevor would want to go back to being human right away, instead of creating a rescue team (which I am reminded of that early 3D kids show, where some kids that don't look human, solve deceptivaley simple tasks and "rescue" the day.

There were also a number of grammer mistakes.

(by the way, this is an example of a script: http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/PlayingGod.pdf)

August 4th, 2009, 3:13 PM
I see what you mean. Don't worry though, the mystery of Trevor becoming a Pokémon will be more important later on. And maybe you're right about the personality thing.
Trevor: He's a bit shy, but is also very caring for others. Ever since changing into a Pokémon, he has been more odd, yet more courageous.
Squirtle: A very upstanding guy, who likes to jump into action and adventure. He can be a little careless at times, but usually finds his way through.
More coming soon.
And thanks for your help. I'll think about how my story will go more.

August 4th, 2009, 6:42 PM
But poorly-written script fics, like this one which is all dialogue and no stage direction/description, aren't allowed in this forum. So I'm going to have to close your thread and hope that you'll rewrite this in either proper script format (that Feign linked to) or as an actual narration.