View Full Version : Pokemon: Evil?

November 14th, 2003, 12:27 PM
Pokemon Evil? Nope. Allow me to MST this article from landoverbaptist.com, the same site that said toy story was about the toys raping some puppies and a little girl. The scum of websites that just happoened to be a religious site.

Sept. 1 - FREEHOLD IOWA- Landover Baptist Pastor, Ebeneezer Smith used a blowtorch and a sword Sunday morning to demonstrate that Pokemon games and toys are only sugar-coated instruments of the occult and evil.

Earlier this week at Landover's Wednesday evening service, children's pastor Marty Richards told 714 kids ages 2 through 10 that Pokemon is evil and was sent to this planet under direct orders from Satan himself.

To drive home his point, Richards burned Pokemon trading cards and video games with a blowtorch and skewered 14 plastic Pokemon action figures with a 40 inch broad sword. Richards then held the sword with all 14 pierced Pokemon figures over a charcoal grill. Richards' 5-year-old son tore the limbs and head off a Pokemon doll and spit on the dismembered carcass. During the demonstration, the children chanted: "Burn it. Burn it,'' and "Chop it up. Chop it up.'' "Kill them All!"

And who's the voilent one again?

Manufacturers of the hugely popular Pokemon products, including Nintendo and Hasbro Inc., lied openly about Pokemon's association with the occult.

The national Christian Coalition told The Press on Friday that it fully agrees with Landover Baptist's stand against the ungodly toy industry. "Toy manufacturers are being guided by Satan's minions." One source stated, "Demons are instructing the Nintendo and Hasbro companies on how to corrupt a child's innocence and create a future army of junior Satanists that will one day rule the world!"

"We agree with Pastor Ebeneezer, and The Landover Baptist Corporation,'' said William Barnes, a spokesman for the national Christian Coalition based in Virginia. "It's a policy issue, a church issue, and a national security issue. We know all about it. We currently fund over 15 campaigns against the Pokemon menace.''

Pokemon, (pronounced POH-kaymahn), is short for pocket demons.

No, Thier japanese name means Pocket Montsters, not Pocket Demons!

The Devil loving phenomenon began in Japan over 20 years ago. A young boy summoned an evil demon to kill his entire family because they wouldn't buy him a stick of chewing gum at the supermarket.

I doubt that somehow.

The demon came, and brought with it, other pokemons who jumped into the parents mouths while they were sleeping, and lodged themselves in their tracheas, suffocating an entire family, and setting the boy free to steal their money and buy gum.

Pokemon are too big to lodge themselves into someone's trachea.

"The whole idea behind Pokemon is to show a child that they can become a "powerful evil force, and they don't have to listen to their parents.''

No, it's about capturing and training, just like christians. They are captured(or 'converted',) and trained(by preaching)

Landover occult expert, Jonathan Edwards said. "Kids look for different Pokemon demons,


find them and utilize their specific powers to create chaos in the home.

To create fun in the outdoors!

It can be extremely violent,

It can have x eyes and it's tounge sticking out.

and the liberal media does not want anyone to know how many families have been torn apart since this menace began.

Because there are none.

The ultimate goal for a child is to collect them, and once they've collected all of them, they can have anything they wish for.

No, they just get to show off.

In most cases, the child wishes for complete control over his entire family. The pokemons approach in the still of night, entering the parents mouths and lodging themselves in their tracheas until they suffocate.

They're too big. I thought we established that already.

They then scurry off quietly and return to their masters bed. When authorities arrive, they are shocked to see no evidence of foul play. They observe only a smiling child, fast asleep, surrounded by stuffed animals and 'innocent little' Pokemons."

The plural of Pokemon is Pokemon.

Deacon Fred, one of 37 co-pastors of the 125,000-member, fundamentalist-baptist church, said that his "antenna went up" over a year ago. While driving with his kids, he heard them in the back seat talking about "Abra'' and "Cadabra,'' "A chill went down my spine, and a trickle of perspiration dribbled slowly down to the small of my back!"

And all they had to do was say the magic words.

He pulled the car over, took the Pokemon action figures from his children, placed them on the road, got back into the car and backed over them "100 times, until there was nothing left but shards of plastic." The teary eyed children watched from the roadside.

I see serious mental problems in the future. *pictures a grown man at a mental institute yelling"Broken abra, broken abra! Why daddy why?!"*

Pastor Deacon Fred said that he doesn't see why more unsaved folks don't see the Devil's hand in this. "Three of the Pokeman characters sprouts horns!" Another concern, he said, is that children exploring a Pokemon Web site can click to other games, including "Magic: the Gathering,'' a Satanic game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.

"It's got fancy sugar coating on it, but, underneath, it's ****'s poison,'' Pastor Deacon Fred said. Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs-based Christian organization whose messages reach as many as 5 million people weekly via radio broadcasts, has researched Pokemon, said David Wright , project coordinator the Youth Culture Department. "What we found, is so horrifying, and so schocking, it would drive an unsaved person to the brink of insanity! Godly christias are the only ones who can see this stanic attack, we don't expect sinners to understand our going battle with principals that are not of this word. We do howeer, expect them to take us very srioesly, and to submit to our (god's) authority in destroying these little breast before they make junior stanists out of every child on the planet!"

There are many typing errors in that text block,
and yet, I am not a junior stanist.
I howeer did see something dirty about cute little breasts.
The otherwordly principal would'nt be happy about seeing so many capitallization errors.


That was the end of the article. hope you enjoyed it.

November 14th, 2003, 12:43 PM
*sighs* What will they come up with next...? Though, your commentary was enjoyable ^_^

November 14th, 2003, 1:29 PM
Even though I failed to add "...and religious" to the rules it should be. We're going to have people bashing, defending, and flaming one another. Can't have this, sorry. Want proof?

Check these old topics.