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bad thread

mervyn797

What? I'm right here. >D
1,696
Posts
15
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    • Seen Nov 28, 2011
    I honestly love this poem, criticizing democracy! XD Nice descriptions, I must say! And I can't really find any errors in this poem, so.. keep it up! ^_^

    *This is a really cheap line. Suggestions?
    Click to expand...

    How about...
    Right from dusk to dawn ?
    I think it can fit in. XD;;
     
    TJgamer

    TJgamer

    A Pokémon Poet
    1,093
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Seen Oct 13, 2021
    In the second law of thermodynamics, all systems eventually wear out or reach a maximum entropy, thus becoming unstable.
    Same thing for democracy. And you have described it so well.
    If anyone is in great need, he should be aided. For no one's life is less important than anyone else's.

    I agree with mervyn797 on a the replacement line.

    Sometimes when I try to think of a better line is alter whatever line I try to rhyme with to make it more smooth. But that's just my method. There may be better ones.

    Again, good job!
     
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