View Full Version : Eh...Poetry? Not Shelz's...Mine.

October 2nd, 2003, 2:17 PM
Some of ya'll from tha' old PC saw this poem on my sig, and well, I was wonderin' if I could get some feedback.

I am SOOOO worried about getting in trouble for posting a similar hread it isn't even funny! So if a Mod or Admin is angry with me for this, I'M SORRY!!! -very afraid- Seriously, I am...

Okay... Here's the first poem.

She stood alone, clutching her body
As the light engulfed her slim figure
And she accepted it all
Hoping never to see her faults reflected
Never to see her wrongs
Yet he pulled her back
Into his warm embrace
Where she would stay in his arms, forever more
Wishing everything away
Until she woke from her dream
And snapped back into reality.

This poem has a deep underlying meaning. Ask, and I shall tell you. But first, I just want to see if anyone can get what the main thought of the poem is.

October 3rd, 2003, 1:15 PM
Very good.:D

Me like...XD!

I like wrting poetry about the weather,death,life and love.

What do you like writing it about?

October 3rd, 2003, 4:40 PM
I write a lot of depression oriented poetry. I also tend to write about love, where one partner dies of lonliness ect. Obviously what I write is VERY dark. Like the following poem.

Browned and golden leaves encircled the twosome standing under the harvest moon
The orange glow illuminated the pair, their features more visible against the light
One, a cold and distant man, the other a warm and harmonic woman
Her auburn eyes lifted to meet a pair of gray that were set before her
The time of death grew closer, creeping upon its beholder
Her timely breath grew short, her racing heartbeats coming to a halt
Joyful pupils became stone, as the lids closed, framed by plethoras of copper-colored eyelashes, and sealed with the kiss of winters frost
He held her lifeless body in his weighted limbs, his branches sagging under her
The atmosphere that surrounded him wilted and perished as his despair deepened, just as he had done
The world grew frigid as autumn soon became no more, the colors of winter gaining control

My CLUE English teacher had me change it sooooo many times, she thought it was about a gruesome murder. @[email protected] This is just basically what I prefer to write. Anywho, whaddya think?

October 4th, 2003, 2:28 PM
Very good.:)

I think your poems are great!

October 4th, 2003, 3:54 PM
Very good.:)

I think your poems are great!

Wow, that's is SO nice of you! I love getting feedback no my poetry. ^^ Thanks!

October 4th, 2003, 6:49 PM
Wow, you're very good at writing poems. They all seem sad, but they're very deep...

October 5th, 2003, 10:50 AM
Wow, you're very good at writing poems. They all seem sad, but they're very deep...
Arigato, Kayleigh! For all of my fans (lol) out there, here's my newest one.

All or Nothing

Im in too deep for my own good
The walls are gonna keep me in
Crushing me until I give it all up
Unless I fight the power within
Bringin' forth the fighter in me
I defeat the demons in my soul
And nothings been given
Cept my love, wasted on you.

I wrote this pretty quickly, it makes me think of the song In the End by Linkin Park. It's a little different then what I usually write.

October 6th, 2003, 3:09 PM
I love the song "In the end" and i also love that poem.
Once again another great poem by PC`s great poetry member.

My poems are [email protected] ([email protected]) compared to yours.
Yours are excellent!

October 6th, 2003, 5:36 PM
-blushes fiercely- I just write my emotions out on paper. I think about the stuff that happened that day or whenever. Or I think about my passion for love and lonliness. Y'know, next time ya write, try drawing your inspiration from something that's happened to you or is going on.

Thank ye, again, Shelz, for the flattery, it means a lot!

November 26th, 2003, 4:52 PM
If you were still am member I wish you would post more beautiful poetry.

November 26th, 2003, 5:58 PM
Shelz, I may write beautiful poetry, but I think few will read it after viewing that chat you posted. Besides... Everyone thinks I've left, if I come back abrubtly, it'll look like I'm a drama queen.