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*Seadiga* OK... Suggest One! Post in on my Profile... Well, my bad for saving it in jpeg file... Really. Maybe it's because our Monitor becomes blurry sometimes... We need to buy a New LCD for the benefit of PC. Haha! Peace! :) ---- PS ---
I highly recommend getting a proofreader anyway because you admit you're not exactly fluent or good at written English. Basically, you're writing in English. You're writing something meant to be taken seriously in English. It's slightly harder for someone who's fluent in English to read through something littered with mistakes because the errors slow people down on a subconscious level (or, if the reader is a writer themselves, because it's just harder to take seriously).
In other words, every newspaper has a copyeditor for a reason. The editor-in-chief could proofread, but his main job is to assemble the paper itself and make decisions for it.
That said, the errors that I spotted:
Spoiler:
Page 1
- "At large" means "free," but it means "free" in the sense of "not captured." As in, if you're on the run, you're at large. If you should be confined, you're at large. To say an event is at large is somewhat awkward.
- Random capitalization in the small text at the very bottom. (Suggestions, profile, and e-mail all should not be capitalized.)
- "The story is set in Michina Town." You don't say "the story sets in."
Page 2
- "Extended twist"? While you're talking about a semi-sequel, I think you mean "exciting twist" here because "extended twist" makes it sound like the exciting parts that already existed in past games are being drawn out longer than they should.
- "where Ash and his friends had just arrived." The "on" isn't necessary, and it makes it sound as if they're perched on top of the city.
- "The setting was said." The verbs are singular, and there's one setting. Ergo, the word "setting" should be singular as well.
- Comma after "Greece." This is a compound sentence.
- Also, the two halves of this sentence aren't related. Therefore, I'd say just say them in separate sentences.
-- Also, who said these things? You're writing a newspaper article, so you want to remove anything that makes it sound as if you're relaying rumors because it's just not good journalism. "It is said" implies you don't actually know and haven't verified your facts.
- "Notched-ear" should not be capitalized.
Page 3
...See below.
Page 4
- Randomly capitalized "mon" in "Pokémon" in the first fact.
- Aside from the fact that the gender thing is inaccurate, "whether" is misspelled. No spell checker would actually let "wether" pass.
- In the last fact, the capitalization is correct, but now the accent is missing. Buh?
- "Better place" should not be capitalized. It's random, considering this is the middle of a sentence.
I just realized something. Did you just plagiarize your entire third page from this? O_o I mean, yes, you added a URL to the page at the bottom of that page, but you don't credit the author otherwise (and probably haven't asked the author to display their work in your newspaper). Not to mention you're writing a newsletter, so you should be coming up with your own material. It's just good practice simply because you won't run into the risk of getting complaints from the original author, and it's just good practice for something that relies on writing and a level of creativity and good journalism in order to be taken seriously, if that makes sense.
Well, I think our first issue is okay but I also spotted some spelling and grammar errors. But, I think it's okay because this is our very first issue and we'll make sure that those errors will be eliminated in the upcoming issues. :)
P.S. Hey pokerus34, sorry I didn't pass my news about the glitches. It's because I wasn't able to access PC for the past few days. I'm very sorry for that.
Also, I have a few suggestions to the newspaper overall (some I might have said in my previous comment):
- I noticed Bulbasaur, and I figured he was the weekly Pokemon. I thought of a name. Ready? Pokemon of the Issue.
- In terms of graphics, it could look better. It's basically black lines with (text and pictures).
- Everyone said this, but maybe you could "hire" a grammar checker. Or you can just paste everything in a word program.
- For the crossword, you could make an Across and Down place instead of spreading the "hints" out.
That's all for now. Also, looking forward to see your userbar. :)
Tip: Don't use Microsoft Word's grammar checker. It attempts to correct things that are actually okay, and in doing so, it riddles your work with more errors. x_x The computer's intelligent enough to help out with spelling, but when it comes to sentence structure, it's easier to get a human beta, rather than a machine to do it.
' hey pokerus i can help you out ' in the spelling and grammar ' and also in designing the next issue ' oh and i will also help in editing the text ( font and stuff like that ) '
Thanks for the WISHES... And also for the INSULTS (If there's any)... Well, *CharKaChu* OK, you can help... Anytime! I'll promise you guys I'll make the next issues better... But you better CONTRIBUTE! :) ---P.S.---
Tip: Don't use Microsoft Word's grammar checker. It attempts to correct things that are actually okay, and in doing so, it riddles your work with more errors. x_x The computer's intelligent enough to help out with spelling, but when it comes to sentence structure, it's easier to get a human beta, rather than a machine to do it.
Also, I suggest you add more pages to the newspaper. Maybe add features like a Rumor section or something similar to that. I can also help with the newspaper itself (how it looks).
Very promising.
Like everybody is saying,make the quality better by changing the format.
Also a printable version would be nice so made it sized for that purpose.
